It has been a week since they returned haveli. Anirudh and Bondita have recovered from their respective external injuries to an extent.

I don't know why but Pati babu told, he will be teaching me something special today. I went to the study where he was ready as my shikhshak babu.

He smiled at me and asked to take my seat. "Bondita page 160 kholo"

I did as he said but my eyes widened when I did so. My face turned red and I immediately turned the page away.

That page of my book had very vulgar drawings. "Dugga Dugga" I bit my tongue.

"Kya huya? Open the page" said Pati babu casually.

"Chiiiiii! Mujhe nehi parna" I cried.

"Chup chap baitho" he scolded me, "aj hum parenge reproduction."

"Ayiii kaka sasurji....wo bula rahe hain" I gave an excuse and tried to escape the room but he raced me and locked the door. "Chup chap apni jagah pe jake baitho" he glared at me.

I sat like an obedient child but I was embarrassed as well. That chapter had so many vulgar pictures.

He drew a diagram, "ye hain female sex organ".

I saw her growing red. I drew the diagram but she suddenly stood up, "kya chitra bana rahe hain ap!" She shouted at me and took the chalk away. "Kya kar rahi ho tum?" I was stunned by her behaviour.

She held her waist and glared at me.

"Chup chap apni jagah pe jake baitho Bondita. Ye parhai ka vishay hain"

She sat at her place.

I started explaining her the text.

"Suno dhyan se, the female gametes called egg or ovum fuses with male gamete sperm to form a diploid zygote and fertilization occurs. This fertilized cell fixes in the uterine wall as blastomere and the process is called implantation and then develops into an embryo, further into a foetus and that is how children are born. This occurs after coitus or sexual intercourse".

Now Bondita seemed to understand and as I was proceedings with my explanation, she started looking here and there, ignoring my gaze.

I heard her murmuring, "hey ram aise hotey hain bacche?"

Hearing this I chuckled secretly.

"To samjhe Bondita, pari nehi hotey" I said closing the book.

She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to look at me.

So this is how it happens....chi chi chi Bondita, how much I have troubled him, made him awkward. Chi.....

I asked him for a...That's so bad

But it seems like he can read my mind. Leaning down he whispered, "It's ok"

I opened my eyes immediately, "pati babu mujhe pata nehi tha.....kitni gandi baat hain."

"Nehi Bondita, ye prakriti ka niyam hain, aise hi to ek species ka janm hota hain"

"Pati babu mein chahata hu ye gyan sabko mile taki meri tarha galti koi aur na kare"

"Bravo Bondita" he clapped making me happier.

"Aur mansik samasya k baare mein bhi hum logo ko batayenge"

He nodded her head, "abh to pari se nehi milna na?"

I drank water from the tumbler, "nehi milni" and ran outside.

She is so guilty right now. Pagli ladki.

I held her photo frame and rubbed my hands gently on it, "pagal ho tum, shararti ho tum fir bhi khas ho tum.

Just then Som and Batuk entered coughing, "kyu dada".

"Kya chahiye tumhe?" I said seriously.

"Ho gaya kya?" He teased.

"Kya?"

"Pyar" said Som.

His words infuriated me. Although I admit that I started feeling for her it's wrong for me to fall for her. She is young and I cannot fall for a child. I have to control my feelings.

"Wo bass ek zimmedari hain, issey barkar koi rista nehi hain humara" I lied to Som.

"To fir maarne dete ussey, kyu bachaya bar bar?" Asked Som.

"Bondita koi khas nehi hain, agar koi aur hoti tabh bhi mein ye hi karta" I lied to them intentionally.

I was listening to him secretly. My heart broke into pieces. I bore all torture and pain just for this day. I know he never loved me and he never will. I have started to hate the word love and today I completely hate it.

That night I woke up with a jerk from my very dreadful nightmare. I was sweating and shivering out of fear. I dreamt of that torture room. Vishal beat me up with a belt, hitting my feet and all.

I recalled his words before I left the house. I recalled his words after he came back. Mere wajase he lost his love, his happy life everything. It's my fault.

I was feeling frustrated. I woke up and started throwing pillows here and there, broke many things in the room and finally broke into tears.

I burned down all our pictures, novels everything. Enough is enough! I can't let him hurt me anymore....I am tired of crying, tired of selflessly loving him.

Our relationship has no goal. Our story has no love and love has no story. Our moments aren't golden

sath bitaye har pal humesha suhani nehi hoti, kuch pyar ki koi kahani nehi hoti, par najaane firbhi kyu bharosa hain tujhpe warna Radha Shyam ki diwani nehi hoti.

Breakfast table...as usual family drama time. Sometimes I feel baba is right, natak company hai ye ghar and the head is kaka with co partner Bihari kaka followed by Dada and Bondita.

Bondita was serving food to everyone except dada. She was ignoring him which was noticeable by all.

"Sampoorna zara chai dena" said Baba.

"Anirudh beta apne baba se kuch sikh, patni k pallu mein rehna kise kehte hain" said Kaka aloud.

Wait! Was it a taunt to Dada aur Baba. I think Both.

Everything was fine till yesterday. She did the class but what happened to her now. It seemed like she had a sleepless night. She was ignoring me. Koyli served me the food instead of her. "Zara wo pass karna" I told her intentionally but she asked Koyli to do it.

When she stood beside me I whispered to her, "kya huya hain tumhe, muh rasgulle jaisa kyu hain?".

She looked away and went to the kitchen.

"Kaka lagta hain phone baj raha hain, mein abhi aya" I made an excuse and followed her.

I was surprised when I entered and found her weeping silently.

"Bondita tum ro kyu rahi ho?" I panicked. "Nehi wo pyazz kaat rahi thi".

"o accha mein dar gaya tha" I siged a relief, "waise tum baat kyu nehi kar rahi ho?"

She ignored me and took out a bowl from the rack and poured some oil in it.

"Mein kuch puch raha hu".

She again ignored me and poured the chopped vegetables in the hot oil and started stirring it.

"Bondita jawab do!"

She now stood up and took a spoon but I held her hand and threw it away, "jawab do".

I didn't realize that held her tightly, close to me, "kuch puch raha hu".

She pushed me away.

"Arrey kya kiya hain maine?" I yelled at her forgetting that my family was having breakfast outside.

"Jaiye ap" she yelled at me back.

"Baat karo mujhse".

"Nehi karungi, kya karenge ap?" she argued.

I looked here and there and then picked up a handful of flour and threw at her, "ye karunga".

"Meri saree!" She exclaimed and threw some at me.

"I emptied the whole dabba on her hair. She tried to stop me so I held her hand. We soon started fighting. She messed up my hair with her hand. I got angry and messed up her long hair. She pushed me hard and I fell on the flour-covered floor.

"Ha ha ha! Jaisi karni waisi vharni" she made fun of me.

"Accha sorry abh hath do apna, uthao mujhe" I said.

She forwarded her hand but instead of getting up, I pulled her down on the floor and started laughing. She got angry and picked up the flour from the floor and covered my hair and face with it.

When he asked me ki unhone kya kiya hain I wanted to say, "apne kuch nehi kiya...kiya to maine hain...pyar aur aj us pyar k aag mein jal rahi hu har din har pal".

Dada said that he need to attend a call and so went away but suddenly we heard dada yelling at the kitchen

"Ye Anirudh rasoi mein hain kya?" Asked Baba and we all went to the kitchen.

We saw dada and Bondita fighting over something. Both are covered in flour, untidy messy hair.

"Bahu!" Kaka yelled at her and both of them got into their senses.

"Anirudh tu yaha kyu? Aur bahu, anya ka apman?'

Dada felt embarrassed and so Hastily went out of the kitchen.

"Kaka sasurji wo..." She said timidly.

"Chup raho bahu, hummey ye ummed nehi thi tumse"

One thing that kaka hates is the wastage of food. He seemed really mad at her.

"Abhi saaf karo rasoi aur aj tum akele khana banaoge" he yelled at her.

"Kaka, kuch din pehele hi Bondita lauti hain, tabiyaat bhi thik nehi hain" I tried to explain kaka.

"Sampoorna bahu k sath rehna aur madat kar dena, dekhna kaam karte wakt chot na laga le" he ordered Sampoorna maa and went away.

Kaka Sasurji punished me and he is responsible for all these.

"Chal Bondita jaldi saaf kar" Sampoorna didi threw a cloth at me.

"Mein madat kar du" said Koyli.

"Nehi tum jao" didi shouted at Koyli didi and asked her to go out.

"Chal chal jaldi saaf kar, chal" she ordered me.

I glared at her with rage.

"Ei is tarha se kya ghur rahi hain? Bhul maat teri saas hu mein."

I planned a surprise for her. I don't know why she is not talking to me but this will make her happy.

But why is she behaving like this? I don't know why but it hurts so much. I recalled at she had said to me at Darjeeling. I hurt her, I don't care about her....

If it is true then she deserves a better person for her. Although I love......I...I...I mean like her, our relationship has no goal. Even if I like her, we can never be husband and wife. My morals will never allow me to love her. My morals will win against my heart.

But every person deserves to be loved, it's their right. If I can't give her that, I have no right to stop her. If I can't, someone else should. Someone better than me for her.

I went to Bondita's room in search of a book but I tripped on a potli lying on the floor.

"Ye kya hain?" I wondered and opened the potli and found only ashes.

I found a burned piece of the picture, of dada and her. It was half burnt.

I saw Bondita burning down everything, dada and her photographs, those gifts that he gifted all those Romantic novels. He burned down everything and cried touching the ashes of her love.

I saw dada preserving her and dada's photographs, those gifts that he gifted, all those Romantic novels. He was smiling holding them

Are their feelings got interchanged...

After what happened, Bondita realized there is nothing called love and Dada realized there is something called love.

I firmly believe both are very mature when it comes to working with minds. Of course, they are barristers aur dimag aur shabdo se khelna kaam hain unka but too much immature by heart. They don't listen to their hearts. Both only gives bhashan to other like, "maan ki karo, maan ki suno" but they themselves don't apply it. They don't listen to their hearts. They only do what their brain tells them to.

"Yaha pe koi mannat mange to wo puri hoti hain" saying this we threw a coin at the river.

She closed her eyes and I stared at her, "mein chahata hu ki Bondita uske layak ek jeevan sathi mile jo ussey sab khushiya de sake,meri tarha nehi jo sirf dukh deta ho".

I closed my eyes and asked, "pati babu ne jo bhi manga, unki mano kamna puri ho yahi mein chahati hu".