I close my door and Juliet looks around my room.

"Your room is a lot bigger then mine." She laughs and picks up a photo off my dresser.

"Yeah well your bed is a lot more comfortable." I smile and jump onto my bed.

"Is this your dad?" She asks and I stand back up and walk over, she was holding a photo of me and my dad laughing. It was a few years ago when we went out for ice cream after my first break up.

"Yeah." I smile at the photo.

"He looks like a really nice person, you have his smile." She puts the photo back on the dresser and turns to me putting my hair behind my ear.

"He was so happy then." I said looking at the floor, she tilts my chin up to look at her.

"And I bet he's so happy and proud seeing you grow up to become a beautiful, brave young woman." She kisses me and I smile.

"This dress is itchy, I'm changing." She smiles and I turn around and walk over to my closet.

I take out a shirt and shorts, I slide out of the dress and I hear Juliet whistle behind me. I ignore her while I was smiling and change.

I turn around and she was laying on my bed.

"Do you want some clothes?" I ask her.

"Spencer, you know I can't stay. Your mom would murder me." She laughs and leans on her elbow.

"What if you pretended to leave and sneak back in my window." I smile and bite my lip hoping she would agree.

"Ughhhh... fine. But if we get caught I'm gonna kill you." She falls back in my bed.

My door opens and Juliet jumps up and I look over to see my mom with her eyes blocked.

"Is everyone's clothes on?" My mom asks and I felt my face heat up from embarrassment.

"Oh my god mom yes." I say and she drops her hand and opens her eyes.

"I said the door stay opens." She leans against the door.

"Mom I'm eighteen, I'm not a child you know. Can Juliet sleep over?" I say it and look at my mom and put my hands together praying.

"Spencer...."

"Mom please."

"....Fine. Just this once. You have to start being more careful, both of you. If you get caught it's over for both of you." She points a finger at me and I smile and nod. She leaves and closes the door. So much for keeping the door open.

"I have to go home and get some stuff and feed Joey." She stands up.

"What if Joey stays too?" I smile and she rolls her eyes and quickly kisses me then opens my bedroom door.

"I'll be back soon." She smiles.

"You better." I stick my tongue out and she leaves and closes the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few minutes later there was a knock on my bedroom door. I sit up on my bed.

"Yeah?" I say and the door opens, Sam peeks her head in then comes in and closes the door.

"I heard your girlfriend leave, I think mom likes her." Sam says as she walks over and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah she's staying the night, mom said she could but she had to go feed her dog. And you... what did you think of her?" I ask her.

"She's okay, she seems nice. I don't like the idea of you dating your teacher tho."

"I know but I really love her, she makes me feel really happy, like real happiness. She made me happy for the first time since dad died."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for the funeral. What happened when you found out, mom hasn't really talked to me about it."

"Well, mom was the one who found him in the basement. None of us have gone near the basement since the police and stuff came. I tried going down there after but I couldn't it was just weird." I play with the blanket not looking at her.

"Did you see him?"

"Yeah.... Mom went down because dad hadn't came up in a while. I walked down behind her, I only say a glance before mom screamed and told me go up stairs." I felt my eyes tearing up but I rolled my eyes back to stop the tears.

"I'm sorry for asking, I wish I was here to help mom get back to normal."

"Sam, she'll never be the same again. I know she's getting better but she will never be herself again. I can see the pain she's hiding, she's saying things are fine but there not she's still grieving."

"I know, did he leave a note?" I felt my head hurting thinking about that night again, I tried for months to stop thinking about it.

"I don't know." I whispered.

"How do you not know spence?"

"Sam. It's hard to check when it feels like your paralysed. I couldn't move, I couldn't feel my body all I could hear is mom screaming and my heart pounding in my ears. He killed himself Sam, it's hard you know. Mom pushed me up the stairs so I wouldn't see, but I already saw it." I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks and look up, she was looking at me.

"Why did he do it?" She asks and my heart pounds in my ears.

"I don't know, I don't fucking know. I've tried thinking of every possible reasons but I just don't know. You just never know what a person is going through."

"Did you go in his office?"

"No sam. I didn't go near any of his stuff only his clothes. I wear his shirts to sleep sometimes but the smell is gone. I used to sleep in his shirts because it felt like when we would lay down and he'd tell me his childhood stories. But he's gone, he's never coming back."

"Okay Spencer, stop being so rude about it. I know he's not coming back it's painful."

"Look I'm tired, I don't want to talk about it." I say and she stands up.

"Alright." She says and walks out of my room closing the door.

I lay down and tears come down my eyes again, I'll never understand why he did it.