After a while Juliet and max stop wrestling and they both sit down on the floor laughing.

"This happens nearly every time we hang out, your gonna have to get used to it." Katie says to me and I smile.

"So what are you doing after school, becoming a teacher, doctor what do you want to do?" She asks.

"I'd like to be a lawyer, but that's not gonna happen." I laugh and she pokes my arm and I pull back confused.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Stop doubting yourself, if you have that attitude it definitely won't happen."

"No I just don't think I'm going to college."

"Um why?"

"Yeah why aren't you?" Juliet speaks up and looks at me.

"I don't know." I say quietly and stand up and pick up my crutches.

"Wow where are you going?" Juliet stands up.

"To the toilet." I smile at her and she tilts her head at me and looks me in the eye for a second.

"Do you want help?"

"Going to the bathroom? I think I'll be fine julie." I chuckle and she rolls her eyes.

I go to the bathroom and lock the door and sit down in the toilet, not going but just thinking.

The last few days I've been thinking, I'm gonna stay in town till I graduate and see where things go after. I'm quite smart, well I used to be anyway. My dad died at the start of summer so I got pretty messed up because of it.

I'd go out drinking every night, half the time with strangers. My dad was my best friend, he still is, he always will be. Even if he's not here anymore. I'll never love anyone like I loved him.

He was the most kind hearted man, sometimes it was hard to believe that he could be so kind. He made me laugh till my stomach hurt even when I felt at my worst, everyone around him loved him. He would never hurt anyone, not even a little spider. When I was younger and there was a spider in my room he would capture it and release it outside. He gave everyone second chances because he believed people could change for the better.

My mom was different when he was alive, she was always happy and laughing around him. I could tell they were both in love, they were head over heels for each other. My aunt would tell me all the stories about how when my mom was in high school she would sneak out nearly every night to see my dad.

My mom told me stories too before my dad passed, all about the small things he would do, when she was pregnant my dad done everything for her, he told her to sit back and relax. He would make her his special soup every time she was sick, he would write her little notes and stick them on the fridge before he left for work, each one telling her a different thing he loved about her.

My mom isn't the same anymore, I mean she's the complete opposite. She never smiles or laughs anymore. Not even a month after my dad died she started bringing different men home. I believe I lost my mom when my dad did. I guess that is what happens when you find your husbands body.

My dad was so happy. I guess it was an act to cover up his sadness.

"Spencer are you okay?" Juliet knocked on the door and I rubbed my teary eyes.

"Yeah just a sec." I said my voice kind of dry.

I stand up and flush the toilet even though I didn't go, I hop on my crutches and open the door and go back out to the living room.