《Faux Real》14: Catch Them All
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Kennedy must have been a beast at playing hide and seek as a child because I can't find the fucking girl anywhere; not in the bedrooms, the den, the various other useless rooms in this obnoxiously large house. Nowhere. She better not have actually fallen out of a bloody window.
Swinging open the bathroom door on the main floor, my eyes dart to Maya and Larisa who are hunched over, snorting lines off of the counter with metal straws. Either they deeply care about the environment or they've invested in drug paraphernalia over the years. Based on the size of their lines, I'm thinking it's the latter. How are they still standing?
"You should lock the door next time," I suggest as Larisa cleans up the evidence with a piece of toilet paper before shoving the baggie into her bra.
"Oh hey, Oliver," Maya coos as she sniffles, wiping the white powder from under her nose. "Did you want a bump? It's good shit. Straight from Colombia."
"Yeah, I'm good, I don't put drugs up my nose," I scoff. They'll believe anything a dealer says. Pure uncut cocaine is exclusive. It's doubtful a high school girl would have access to something that premium. "But thanks for the kind offer. You do know there's a fentanyl crisis happening, yeah?"
"Well, we're still breathing so it's fine," Maya sings. "Don't be scared now, Ollie."
"Yeah, you sure you don't want some?" Larisa asks, her pupils the size of saucers. "We have more than enough to share." She pauses, biting her lip seductively. "Maya and I like to share a lot of things." Her hand reaches up and strokes my chest. "What do you say? Up for some fun?"
Is she serious right now?
"You want to have fun?" I tease in a low hum, leaning closer to Larisa so that my mouth is by her ear. "Is that what you want?"
"Mhmm." Her breath hitches.
"Well, that's too bad," I snap, dropping her hand, my expression hardening as I pull away. "Because that's never going to happen. Ever."
Larisa scoffs, crossing her arms defensively. "Why not? You can't seriously be satisfied with Kenny."
"Have you seen Kennedy recently?" I ask, not wanting to waste another breath on this bitch. As far as she's concerned I'm in a relationship, a status she clearly doesn't give a shit about.
"Your girlfriend?" Maya clicks her tongue with a shrug. "No, we hav-"
I don't let her finish her sentence as I slam the door in their faces. Useless. Where the hell is she?! Searching the hallways, I stop by the kitchen and refill my flask, taking a swig. She better not be passed out somewhere. I pull out my phone as I walk into the living room and dial Kennedy's number. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. The line rings and rings until I get her voicemail. Fuck! I need a smoke.
As I make my way to the backyard, I spot Sawyer sitting on the couch in front of the TV, Corrine perched on his lap.
"Have you seen Kennedy anywhere?" I ask him. I'm running out of options here.
"You lose your little pet?" Corrine snickers, her eyelids fluttering open and close. "Maybe you should get a leash."
"What? Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know where she is?" Sawyer barks, sitting upright, tossing Corrine to the side. Discarded. "I told you to watch her!"
"I'm not her fucking guardian," I snap, irritation flaring. I should've checked in on her more. God damn it. "Just let me know if you see her, yeah? I'm going for a smoke."
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"Fuck!" Sawyer grumbles, standing up. "Maybe she's downstairs. I'll go check."
"Baby," Corrine pouts, crossing her arms. "Don't leave me all alone. I'm drunk, what if something happens to me?"
"Okay," Sawyer sighs, holding out his hand. "Then help me look for her."
"Yeah..." Corrine eyes his hand warily. "I don't really care where Kenny is so..."
"Then just sit there and don't move," Sawyer states, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'll be back in a few." He turns to face me, his gaze serious, sober. "If anything happened to her, it's on you, understand?"
"Oh, fuck off," I fume, pushing past him towards the French doors that lead to the yard.
On me? On me?! I wasn't the one who gave her the edibles. Fuck! I close the door behind me and look around the scarcely lit and quiet backyard as I dial Kennedy's number again. Propping the phone against my ear, I attempt to light a cigarette. A melodic ringing in the distance grabs my attention. What- I focus my vision, trying to make out a blurry figure at the far end of the pool. Is that...?
Are you kidding me? What the hell is she doing out here? "Kennedy!" I call out, shaking my head as I walk towards her. Let's just disappear and not tell anyone where I'm going! "Kennedy! Is that you?" As I get closer, relief releases my tense muscles. It is her. Thank God. She's swaying back and forth, humming under her breath, the moonlight reflecting off of her shiny hair. Is she deaf? "Kenny! Hello?"
Kenny spins around, a loopy grin on her face. Oh shit, the edible has definitely kicked in. I eye the wine glass full of popcorn in her hand. Either she couldn't find a bowl or this is how the American elite eat snacks.
"Ollie!" she exclaims, running towards me, her bare feet slapping against the ground. "Hi! Oh my God. You're here! Welcome! Look at the moon! It's so big!"
"What are you doing out here?" I snap, ashing my smoke on the ground. "I've been looking for you everywhere. You can't just run off! And where are your bloody shoes?!"
"I got tired of them so I took 'em off," she explains, smiling so wide that her face might crack. "And I didn't run off. I had to go to the bathroom but of course, every bathroom was busy." She leans in close to me, humor bouncing around her face as she whispers, "Because everyone is probably doing druuuugs."
Oh, Christ, she's high as fuck. "Well, this is a backyard not a bathroom," I say, cocking my head to the side. "A bit confused, are we?"
"I know that!" Kenny rolls her eyes playfully. "I didn't like pee outside or anything, God, what am I? An animal? I just wanted some fresh air. It's so muggy and smelly inside. Plus!" She tugs on my jacket, pulling me beside her. "Look at the fucking moon. It's soooo big. Isn't it big?"
"Yes, the moon is large," I chuckle, following her gaze. Stoned Kenny is thoroughly entertaining. "Good job, Kennedy, you're very observant. Such a smart girl."
"I know!" Kenny shoves a hand full of popcorn in her mouth, staring up at the glowing mass in the sky. "Did you know that every year the moon moves 3.6 cm away from the earth? Isn't that crazy?"
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"Really?" I muse, nodding my head. It's nice to see that weed hasn't hindered her nerdiness. "What a fascinating fact. Truly."
"Well, you know, some can sing, some can dance, I can spew out moon facts like no other," she laughs, her eyes widening with excitement as she faces me. "Oh! I have another skill too!"
"Yeah?" I ask, stifling a grin. She's so energetic right now. I half-expected her to fall asleep after the weed entered her bloodstream. "Better than moon facts?"
"Hmm," she hums, actually contemplating the question. "I wouldn't say it's better but it's a little cooler. Just a little."
"Cooler?" I snort. What is she going on about? "What is it?"
"Okay!" Kennedy giggles, taking a step back from me. "Watch!" She takes a piece of popcorn out of her wine glass and tosses it into the air, tilting her head back and catching it in her mouth triumphantly. "Ta-da!"
"Wow, so talented," I tease, clapping my hands. "Are you thinking about going pro anytime soon? Better get in now. I hear the food tossing game is competitive these days."
"One more! That was a warm-up toss!" Kenny frowns, registering my sarcasm. "I can throw it much higher!" She hikes another piece into the air and staggers backward attempting to catch it. My eyes widen as she nears the edge of the pool.
"Watch ou-" As soon as the popcorn touches her tongue, she loses balance and falls into the pool, water splashing on my shoes. "Shit! Are you alright?"
Flapping her arms aggressively, Kennedy coughs as she emerges from the teal water. "My snacks!" she yelps, frowning as she looks at all the pieces floating in the water. "They're escaping!" She places the empty wine glass on the edge of the pool and starts tossing pieces of wet popcorn into it. "I'll save you!"
"What are you doing?" I ask, utterly flabbergasted as I dip my finger into the water. It's freezing. She's a complete nutter. "Get out of the damn pool. You're going to get hypothermia."
"I can't!" she exclaims, wading through the water. "I need to clean up! I need to catch all the kernels! Leave no man behind!"
"Kennedy, get the fuck out of the pool," I demand, bewildered by her stubbornness. "You're fully clothed!"
"But the popcorn!" she exclaims, continuing to collect pieces. "You know, I've always wondered why they call it popcorn not popped corn because technically it's corn that's been popped, hence it should be popped corn, not popcorn, right?"
I blink. "Leave the damn popcorn alone and get out of the water, you crazy girl!"
"Not until I catch 'em all!" Kenny pauses and then starts laughing. "Popcorn, gotta catch 'em all!"
Oh, God.
"I haven't heard that version before." I shake my head, letting out a soft laugh. "Is that a remix?"
"Yup! A Carmichael original," she giggles before diving into the water and emerging with another piece, tossing it into the glass. She pauses at the edge of the pool and tilts her head to meet my gaze. "The popped corn is now soggy corn, womp womp womp."
I grin at her absurdity as I lower myself down to her level. "It's the circle of life," I say, holding out my hand. "Shall we get out now?"
"A Carmichael never gives up!" she states. "A few more pieces."
I close my eyes. "You're going to get sick if you stay in there, it's like five degrees out right now."
"We're in America," she sings, pushing off the side of the pool. "Get with the program, Knight."
"Seeing as the rest of the world follows the metric system, maybe it's you who should get with the program." I prop myself upright, letting out a sigh. She's so difficult. "Where are the towels?"
"I dunno," Kenny murmurs, focusing all her attention on the search. "They used to be on a shelf over there-" She points her finger to an empty space by the lawn chairs. "But not anymore."
"Okay, well I'm going to go find you a towel and when I come back I expect you to be finished, yeah?" I ask, getting completely ignored. "Kennedy!"
"Yes sir!" she exclaims, saluting me. "Will do! I just need a couple more minutes!"
"Two minutes!" I reiterate before making my way back inside.
Where the fuck would the towels be? Do I just look in every room? That seems rude but what's the alternative? As I near the end of the hallway, I'm thrilled to spot Lemar pressed up against a wall, a redheaded girl attached to his lips. I clear my throat, trying to get his attention.
"Sorry, mate," I say as the girl releases her grasp on him. "Don't mean to interrupt but do you have any towels? Kennedy, she uh- went for a little swim."
"Oliver, my man," Lemar laughs, staggering towards me, lit out of his mind. "Yeah, I got towels. Follow me." He turns his head towards the wasted girl. "Don't move, babe." She giggles and nods as we head down the hallway. "So Kenny went for a dip, hey? That's wild."
"Yeah, she's-" I click my tongue. "She's a wild one."
At least tonight.
Lemar opens the door to the laundry room, grabbing a striped blue and white towel off a shelf before rummaging through a pile of folded clothes. "Here." He hands me the towel and a large black t-shirt. "In case she needs a change of clothes."
"Thanks."
"Yeah no worries," Lemar says, waving me off. "I owe Kenny big time. She stayed up until 3 am helping me study for finals last year. She never even complained or got tired or anything. She's like a fucking machine."
"She's something alright," I hum as he closes the door behind us. "Thanks again."
"Don't sweat it," Lemar says, scanning for his girl. "She can keep the shirt too. I have tons."
"Cool," I say, nodding goodbye.
Lemar seems like a chill dude. I wonder if he's in any of my classes. Not that I'm interested in becoming mates or anything. Opening the door to the backyard, I'm stopped by Sawyer. Oh right. Should've told him.
"I found her. She was outside," I say before he can ask. "Thanks for your help though."
"Oh," Sawyer nods, his gaze darting out towards the pool. "She's okay? You sure? Maybe I should-"
"Yeah, she's fine," I state, narrowing my eyes. What is his deal? Clearly, there are unresolved issues here but I have a feeling if he talks to Kenny right now, her mood will do a complete one-eighty. I'd rather have a happy stoner than a sad one on my hands. "I've got it covered, mate. You can get back to your girlfriend now." I nod towards Corrine, who's passed out on the couch. "Looks like she's ready to go home."
"Oh, shit," he mutters, walking away.
Not very attentive, is he?
I shimmy open the door and head towards the pool, Kennedy's lingering by the ladder, hugging her body. "I'm cold now!" she whines as I approach. "Did you find towels?"
"Oh, now you're cold?" I tease, cocking my head to the side. "Perhaps you should've listened to me earlier, yeah?"
"I wasn't cold then though," she pouts, pulling herself out of the water. I hold out one of the towels and she wraps her shivering body in it. "Ah, so much better."
"Let's go inside," I suggest, handing her the t-shirt. "You can change into this."
"No," she says, shaking her head. "Can we just hang out here? It's so quiet and calm. I don't want to go inside. Inside sucks."
"Inside sucks? Okay, but inside is also warm and dry," I say slowly. "Outside cold and wet."
"Oh shut up." She rolls her eyes, handing me the towel. "Hold this up so I can change."
"What?" I ask, my mouth hanging open. "You're going to change right here?"
"Yeah, there's no one around," she says, removing her straps. "Just close your eyes. Don't be a pervert and peek!"
I sigh. She is wild tonight.
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Sawyer seems awfully concerned. hmmm...ollie seems awfully amused....hmmm
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