《Loveless Marriage》Special chapter 1
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I snuggled up with Daniel as we looked at the sunset from our room. The evening days poured into our room and if I looked up at Daniel, I knew that he would literally have the golden hour look on his face. I don't need to swoon for him any more than I already do. I let out a small hum as the scenery brought serenity into my mind. "Are you feeling comfortable? I can let you go for a while if you need some space," Daniel's fingertips grazed my arm, goosebumps raising in their wake.
I shook my head and tried to push myself closer to him. "You know that I'm perfectly fine with you holding me now. You don't have to keep asking me," I told him, my voice settling into the silence. "All I want for you is to be comfortable. If I'm making you uncomfortable, I'll let you go immediately" He replied, his hold neither tightening nor loosening. The temperature was a bit cold, so we could hold each other without feeling stuffy or sticky.
"Daniel, do you trust me?"
"What?"
"You had issues with trusting me because someone else hurt you. You did believe that I was cheating on you for a long while. So I'm asking you if you trust me,"
He paused, thinking for a while. It's times like this when we should let them think. We shouldn't really expect rushed answers which may be interpreted wrongly. So I gave him the time to think.
"I've been building my trust for you. I know there are times when I act possessive when we are out, but whenever you reassure me that you're not thinking of other men, it helps me to trust you more. It would be wrong of me to say that I trust you completely. But I wouldn't say that I don't trust you at all." His reply is reasonable. Trusting people completely gives them an unknown hold on you, which wouldn't always be in your favour.
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"I'm not giving you a timeline by the way. I'm not going to force you to trust me fully or give you a certain time you have to trust me by. Take your time, let's get to know each other better and trust each other. That's healthier for us," I spoke to him, tilting my head up at him. As I suspected, he did literally have the golden hour sunlight on him, making him look ethereal.
"You know, sometimes I think that your soul aged way faster than your body with how you speak," Daniel teased, a small smirk forming in the corner of his lips. "Hmm, probably. But hey, who's judging right?" My arms tightened around him a little. "Definitely not me. I'm admiring you," His whispered words made my heart beat a little faster.
"We're already married Daniel, you don't have to flirt with me. You're stuck with me for life," I laughed, sitting up slowly. "Yeah well, if it were my choice, I would have you stuck by me all the time so that I don't miss you all the time," He retorted, pouring a little. I let out another laugh and held his face in my hands. "Then it's a good thing for us to be together now then. So that you can reminisce about these times when you miss me," I pinched his cheeks like he was a little child.
He swatted my hands away laughing. Then he held my hands in his and placed them on his lap. He looked at my face as if he was searching for something. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" He mumbled, bringing his face closer to mine. "Is that so? You're very pretty too," I joked, blinking innocently. "Hmm, I know I'm pretty," He replied to which I laughed yet again. When I looked back at him, his eyes were still locked on my face.
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"I could look at you all day and not be bored,"
"Okay, that was way too sappy for you. What did you do?" I asked, slightly pulling my hands from his. "I didn't do anything. I'm just showering you with all the love that you deserve," His voice soothes me, his grip on my hands never tightening. I dropped my head a little, letting his words wash over me. "Daniel?" I called out to him, my head still hung low. "Yes, Hannah?" He replied, most probably looking at me with confusion over my change in tone.
"Do you still like me, even with my scars?" I questioned, my voice probably wavering a bit. He didn't reply, which had me panicking a little. "I could get plastic surgery for these scars but they're quite painful and need a lot of healing time. But if you really don't like them, I'd get it—" His hand enveloped my mouth to stop me from talking. He pulled my head up to look at him and I didn't realise that I had tears in my eyes.
"Hannah, I like you just the way you are. You don't need to change yourself for me. These scars are a reminder that you didn't give up. They remind me that I'm with a strong woman. If you think that these scars serve as a bad memory and you want to get rid of them, I'll support you through it. If you think that these scars don't bother you much, I'll still support you. I'll support every decision of yours, Hannah. It's your body, so it's your choice. I have no say in it," He reassured me softly, wiping the tears off my face.
"I'm still going to kiss every one of your scars. I'm still going to love every part of you because I love you for who you are, Hannah," Daniel placed a kiss on my forehead before pulling back. "You love me?" My voice quivered. He nodded before pulling me into a soft hug. "I'll always love you, Hannah," He whispered into my ear, patting my head slightly. I pressed my mouth into his shoulder to muffle my sniffles. After I calmed down a bit, I pulled away from him to kiss him softly.
"I love you too Daniel, forever and always,"
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"When you figure out what you want, then come talk to me. Until then...get out of my face. I will speak to you in the morning." She said angrily and slammed her bedroom door in my face. I threw my body onto the hallway floor as tears streamed down my face. Screaming and crying as I pound on the door. "Johanna I'm sorry! Please I'm so sorry please don't go!" I slammed the door in Katie's face and sat on the floor as I listened to her scream and cry. Tears ran down my face and I banged my head against the door as I listened to my baby scream for me.
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