"Get out," I sigh at my asshole of an older brother.

The whole - I've missed you so I'm being sweet act - is now over and he's back to being Eli. He farted in the car and wouldn't let me open the window. You should have seen the face of the poor Chick-fil-A worker when he finally let the window down. It's very admirable that she still said my pleasure when we pulled off.

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving," He chuckles, making his way to the door.

"Have fun." I retort sarcastically, slamming the door behind him.

I let out a sigh, looking around the gorgeous penthouse. I feel like I can never appreciate everything that has been given to me to the fullest. I went from a moldy bed on the ground to sleeping in the heights. I can't help but picture living the rest of my life in this here; building a family, having little ones running around.

I want a future

I want a fulfilled life

I'm not sure how to get that, but one thing is for sure. No matter where I envision myself ending up, Cole is right there next to me. I might not tell him that to his face, however, I can't lie to myself. I know I want him.

***

The sound of a door creaking stirs me out of my nap. I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for Cole to get back.

I look over the back of the couch. Cole's figure can be seen creeping through the kitchen. The moon cast light on his body from the living room windows. Either he was glowing in the moonlight or I just really missed him. His usually deep blue eyes reflect the moon beautifully. So much so, I could see them from my place on the couch.

"How was it?" I yawn out, barely comprehensible.

Nevertheless, Cole understands it because he responds, "We start the new security plans tomorrow."

He grabs a bottle of water and sits next to me on the couch.

"How long have you been up?"

My eyes follow the motion of his Adam's apple. I think I do miss him...

"Not very long, I just took a small nap" Lie.

I've had time to watch three movies while he was gone and that was before my small nap.

"Monsters don't sleep under your bed, they sleep inside your head."

I tune into the movie that was still playing. It was some sappy love story. Broken girl meets a broken boy then they become beautifully broken together.

Now that's my favorite type of love story

"What the hell are you watching?" Cole snorts, looking at the screen in adhorrence.

Honestly, I don't really know the name of it, but I've seen it in my queue multiple times. I just shrug, rising from my position on the couch.

"It's a romance movie."

I stretch nonchalantly, walking towards the kitchen. My stomach growling reminds me just how long I've been waiting for him

"Love is stupid," Cole sighs. I instantly raise a brow at his comment.

"Please enlighten me on why you say that,"

"It's dangerous," He stands up turning towards me, "To have something worth losing,"

"Oh, you don't have anything worth losing?"

I'm offended. I know that's completely irrational because I've just come to terms with my feelings for him. I should have known he doesn't feel the same. Yet still, I'm upset.

"Rose-"

"What are you afraid of?" I stand up straight.

"It isn't fear, I'm just being honest," He walks around the couch.

"Bullshit," I retort.

"Loving is a death sentence, you'll find that out soon."

Cole throws back the rest of the bottled water. This is the first time that I'm taking him in fully. The sway of his stance, the discrete slur of his words.

He's drunk

"Is that how you really feel?" I shake my head.

He nods, throwing the empty bottle somewhere in the room.

"It doesn't make any sense-"

"We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry."

Wow, a wise drunk man - extraordinary.

I know I should just stop the conversation. I shouldn't be having this conversation with him while he's in this state. Logic is strong in my head but my heart doesn't feel like being mature right now. If your heart could cry I'm sure this is what it feels like. My chest is tight. As someone who's been rejected all their life. I have to say this one hurt the most.

"Then what is this?" I meet his eyes.

"What is what?" Annoyance clear in his sobering eyes.

"This thing between us," I motioned to the space that separated us. "Now that is one thing you can't lie about. I know you feel it too. I can see the spark in your eyes when you look at me. If not love then infatuation."

Cole's silent, eyes glued to me.

"I fought for you,"

"Losing you, that's what got me out of that building, not saving my own life," I quickly wipe the stray tear the had fallen from my eye. "You told me not to trust you. I should have listened."

Never get attached to something that isn't yours

My father had always spoken so wisely. If only his lessons didn't hurt so much, maybe we'd be onto something.

"Princesa, don't cry," His features soften, he's completely unaware of how much he's breaking my heart right now.

(Princess)

The worst part is I have nowhere to go. I would love to just throw open the front door and storm out, but where would I go. To add insult to injury. He is truly my last resort.

"Fuck you," I hoarse lowly, pushing past him to get to our shared bedroom.

"Princesa, you've broken your own heart! I have never lied to you," He yells after me.

"Oh my god," I turn around, "Shut up!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I scream, tears now blurry my vision.

"One day, you're going to learn to stop saying things you don't mean," I snapped, "You know damn well I'm the only girl that will put up with your shit. So I suggest you stop pushing me away and start telling me what's really bothering you,"

His eyes spark with anger.

"I don't need this shit, not from you," He gestures to me.

"What is it?" I stumble on my words, "Am I not enough for you? Am I not good enough?"

"Rose, I, look I just-" He cuts himself off with a sigh.

"Time after time I choose you. I run back to you," My eyes are wide, "Tell me right now, that I'm stupid for it. Look me in the eye and tell me that you feel nothing and I'll be gone in the morning. I'll move on,"

"I can't do that,"

"You are so selfish," I raise my voice, "Even after breaking my heart you won't give me the peace of mind,"

"Sure, I care about you. You already know that I don't know what you're being so difficult with me," He tugs at his hair. "I don't know what this is. I just know that you're always on my mind and it's fucking annoying!"

I roll my eyes, "Whoopty fucking doo,"

"You knew exactly who I was before this started. I don't see why you're so surprised,"

His intense eyes were on mine. I was speechless. I've seen him be so heartless to other people but I would have never thought in a million years he could act like that with me. I couldn't do anything but shake my head at him. I turn around.

"Rose you're a smart girl," He seems to drag on, "You couldn't possibly believe in love,"

"For you, I would."

Frowning, I slam our bedroom door. Immediately going into my closet. I'll be damned if I sleep in that bed tonight. Our sheets smelled him, they would only be a reminder.