I took a deep breath, giving myself a pep talk before knocking on Lucian's office door.

"Come in." Came his scary voice.

Putting my shaky hand in my pocket, I pushed the door open with the other. My heart was beating fast in anticipation. I really don't want to experience anything bad again.

'Maybe killing yourself would be a good option.'

My movements stilled, the door half open.

'Or maybe run away rather than being in another abusive situation. Maybe you'd be less pathetic when you end up dead.'

Releasing a shaky breath, I opened the door fully and stepped in. As soon as I looked up, I made direct eye contact with Lucian. That made my heart drop and for me to flinch slightly.

"Sit," he said, still staring at me. My head was bowed as I walked to the middle seat and sat down.

There was silence except for my own heartbeat ringing in my ears. My hands were clenched tightly into fists to stop them from shaking.

"Good afternoon, Nicholas." I looked up when Lucian's scary voice cut the silence. "She's not okay. She's being affected by that voice and refusing to communicate."

I looked down. Way to snitch on me, Lucian.

"I've tried that. I really don't know what to do. We can't read her mind now."

I'm happy you can't.

I looked up when he slid the phone towards me. Extending my shaky hand to grab the phone, I gulped down the lump in my throat.

"Hey, Nico," I said, quietly.

"Hello, Bunny. How's it going?" He asked, keeping his voice soft.

"Good," I said. I looked up to find Lucian raising an eyebrow at my response, so I added, "Maybe."

I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. Maybe Lucian sensed my hesitation. He stood up from his seat and walked out, keeping the door slightly open.

"Why are you refusing to communicate, Bunny?" He asked. "We went over this. You're just giving it more power by fighting alone."

"I don't want to," I said, softly.

"Want to what? Feel weak?" He questioned.

"Feel pathetic," I said. My vision blurred as tears sprang to my eyes. I hate that word.

"You're fighting a battle, honey. You're anything but that," Nico said. "If you weren't strong, you wouldn't be fighting."

"Can I just write it down, instead of telling?" I mumbled, wanting to just go and sulk in the corner of my room.

"Promise you will write everything," he said. I nodded. "And about the hallucination too."

My head snapped up.

"How do you know about that?" I asked.

"There are cameras in the hallways, Bunny. They tell Lucian if something happens," Nico answered.

My eyes widened. I totally forgot about that. How embarrassing.

"Now, Bunny. Be a little more open to your family. It won't help if you're not even taking baby steps," Nico said. "Tell them without hesitation. They won't judge you or get mad at you for it."

"And what if they do?" I asked, softly.

Nico was silent for a while.

"Then I'm gonna scold Lucian and kidnap you to live with me."

I scoffed. Scold Lucian?

"You can't do that."

"Yes. Because they can't do that either," he said, referring to my doubt about them judging or getting mad.

"Okay Nico," I said, quietly.

"Also, you need a big hug so make sure you get one," he reminded, causing a smile to appear on my face.

"Okay," I said, kicking my feet at the desk. I gasped when it hit too hard on Lucian's desk.

"What happened?" Nico's worried voice sounded.

"I just kicked Lucian's desk a little too hard. Do you think it's hurt? Will it snitch on me and get me in trouble?" I said, maybe a little too loudly.

Because there was a chuckle and soft stifle. The chuckle sounded through the phone.

I whipped my head around, to find that the door was slightly open, just like Lucian left it. I was being too loud.

"Shit! Lucian heard," I whispered harshly. Why is my luck so bad?

"I think it's time to let go of that fear too, Bunny." Nico chuckled. "He's not going to kill you."

"Maybe he will." I gulped, making sure my volume was low. "Lucian will have a seizure if he knows everything I've done."

Fuck! Why do I have to be such a big mouth before him?

"And what have you done?" Nico asked, a little suspicious and mostly amused.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," I muttered.

"Trust me, I do." He scoffed.

"No you don't, Stinky butt." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Yes I do, you big meanie." He huffed. A snort left my mouth at that, but before I could say something he continued.

"Wait! You're too tiny. So you're a tiny meanie." He mocked.

I gasped loudly.

"You did not just go there, you duplicate donkey."

A loud gasp of his own followed.

"You did not just call me that, you tiniest of all the bunnies."

"Well I did." I sassed, in a 'what're you gonna do about it' voice.

He snorted.

"At least, I don't tremble before Lucian for no reason at all, you whimpering tiny bunny." He mocked.

I gritted my teeth.

"You did not just make fun of my fear."

"Well, I did." He sassed in his version of a 'what're you gonna do about it' voice.

"I'm going to snitch on you to him. Then we'll see who trembles. You've cursed like a sailor."

"Well, you just cursed. I'm gonna snitch on you too," he said, sounding like he was smiling smugly.

"At least, I'm not like 'Good evening, Brother' the moment I see him." I rolled my eyes, making my voice heavy to mimick him.

"That's called respect, you tiny bunny." He retorted.

"Respect? If you respect everyone, why don't you greet me with, 'Good evening, sister' every time you see me," I said. A smug smile sat proudly on my face.

"Well, you haven't earned that title but you've earned yourself a good lecture by speaking to your older brother like you're doing right now," he said in a faux stern tone.

"Well, it's not my fault my older brother wants to act like a kid." I rolled my eyes again.

"I'm not acting like a kid!" He exclaimed.

"Yes you are," I said, a little too sweetly. "So you should start addressing your older sister the right way, kid."

"Nuh uh. Not possible. I'm never going to respect you in that way," he said, sounding much like a defiant kid. His tone changed as he continued in a baby voice. "Because a tiny bunny can't be treated so big and mature. I'm pouting, by that way."

"That does not look too adorable," I said, in a disgusted tone.

"Hey!"

Before he could say anything further, a scary knock broke our banter.

"Hush!" I shushed him quickly and whipped my head around.

"Are you done, Bunny?" Lucian asked, without moving the door.

"Yes," I said, watching the door open more. Lucian appeared and entered the room.

"I'll talk to you later, Nico. Goodbye," I said, softly staring at the desk as Lucian moved to his big scary chair.

"Goodbye. I love you, tiny Bunny. You may not have the respect of a younger brother but you have the infinite love of an older one. You are my tiny Bunny and I love you with all my heart," he said, softly. He continued in a whiny tone. "And my heart is whining for you to start listening to it. I'm pouting again, by the way."

And my heart fluttered. It was a strong flutter and I don't think I've felt that little thing flutter so hard.

"I love you too," I said, softly. "I'll try to convince my little heart."

"Ah. My heart," he said, softly. "I'm pretending to swoon, by the way."

"That doesn't look adorable either." I scoffed.

He huffed.

"I know I look adorable," He stated.

"No you don't." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes I do," he said, not ready to back down.

"Listen here, stinky butt. Stop fighting before I take that 'I love you' back." I gritted into the phone. I rolled my eyes when an exaggerated gasp escaped his mouth.

"What a tiny meanie!" He huffed. "Beside I already recieved that I love you. I'm not letting you take it back."

"You deserve to-"

"Kids."

I jumped high in the air and hit my head on the ceiling and my butt hurts from falling back into the chair.

I forgot Lucian was here.

"You two can continue this banter later. For now, please get to the matter in hand," Lucian said, placing his elbows on the desk and throwing pointed looks at me then at the phone.

I nodded and extended my hand for him to take the phone. He took the phone and put it to his ear.

"Is there something I can solve, Nicholas?" He asked, looking at me. I looked down and fiddled with my hands.

"Okay," he said, after a while. I released a breath.

Nico must have explained it to him and it looks like Lucian is complying. That means I don't have any other obligations to fulfil.

I put my hands on the sides of the chair, to push it back and stand up when Lucian hung up. I really wanted to leave and stay alone in my room. I looked at Lucian expectantly as he put the phone down and stared at me.

"I hope you write it soon," he said, after a while.

"I will," I said. He nodded and I took that as the sign to get out of there.

Pushing my chair back, I stood up quickly and turned around to run out.

My rushed footsteps came to a halt when I heard stifled laughter from behind me. I froze.

I really need to know what's on my back.

I shook my head and continued on my path.

"Bunny," Lucian said, stopping me again. This time I froze and gulped.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around slowly.

"Come here," he said. He raised his hand and crooked his fingers.

I nodded slowly and turned around.

'Belt or knife? Lucas had two choices. Maybe Lucian prefers punching.'

Imagine Lucian punching me. I bet ten dollars, I'll break with one punch.

That caused me to stop for a moment. But disobeying him would just make it worse.

My feet started moving on their own when he raised an eyebrow. I took a deep shaky breath and rushed to stand beside his desk. I stood there, shifting my weight from foot to foot and picking at the corner of his desk.

Lucian turned his wheely chair to the side, so his one elbow rested on the desk and the other on the arm of his wheely chair.

I looked down as soon as he looked up into my eyes. My heart was beating fast in my chest, threatening to rip out and end my life.

My eyes clenched shut and I stepped back instinctively when I saw him reaching out. His hand curled around my upper arm and pulled my resisting self forward forcefully.

My breaths became erratic when I found myself standing just before him, between his knees.

"Open your eyes, Bunny." Came the command.

It's scary watching the attack coming but not being able to prevent it.

I shook my head violently. Silence followed and lingered for a long moment.

I took short, shaky breaths. My hands twitched to raise and rest on my heart but for some reason I didn't move.

I wanted to scream, beg and fight at the same time. For him to not introduce me to that familiar torture again.

The past few days have been the best I've experienced in the past two years. Even with this disorder of mine or all the issues that were created due to our misunderstandings.

I whimpered when I felt his hand on my cheek, preparing for a strike.

"Open your eyes, Amira." Came out a sterner command.

I hesitated before slowly opening my eyes, peeking at him through my lashes. The hand on my cheek moved under my chin to push my face up.

I was tensed up but when I looked at his face, a short breath left my mouth.

His face was weirdly gentle. Weird enough that I questioned if it really was Lucian. There was a small smile resting on his face and overall his face was relaxed.

'It might be-'

"Focus on my words only, Bunny. Nothing else." Lucian unknowingly cut that voice off.

"Can I hug you?" He asked, catching me off guard.

And for some reason, my head moved up and down on its own.

Lucian moved forward and wrapped his arms around me. I tried hard not to flinch and stayed as still as I could.

As time went by and he did nothing but tighten his grip with each passing second, I found myself relaxing in his hold.

My shoulders slumped, my arms dropped to my side instead of between us pushing at him to let me go and my head fell onto his shoulder.

At one point, I found myself completely supported by him. He was supporting all of my weight and my arms were now wrapped around his neck. My hands clutched his coat tightly in fists.

That was also the point when Lucian sighed and bent down to scoop me up onto his lap completely. He turned his chair back to face forward, so now I was trapped between him and his desk.

"I know it's because of me. There's something about me that is bothering you," Lucian said, making me stiffen up. He started rubbing his hand up and down on my arm. "That's why I'm more desperate to know, Bunny. I really want to clear that doubt you have that is eating you inside."

I didn't dare lift my head to look him in the eyes.

"The fear you're showing today is next level. It's bothering me too much. More than it has ever bothered me."

More than what?

"It bothers you that I'm scared of you sometimes?" I blurted out, not believing that statement.

"It would've been tolerable if it really was sometimes. Unlike what you might think, I really don't like it. Not now, not when you were still a kid," he said. "I just follow too many rules and never put effort into the scaring part."

"You're joking," I said, before thinking.

"I'm serious. Maybe when you guys cause trouble, I try a little but normally I do not. No one is as scared as you are, so it's natural it bothers me," he said, his voice surprisingly soft and gentle.

I turned my head, so it now rested sideways on his shoulder and my face faced towards his neck.

"That's why I want you to write it down and send it to Nicholas as soon as possible," he finished, not stopping his motions on my arm.

"I'll write tonight." I assured.

"I won't hurt you, Bunny. Please don't think so low of me and compare me to Lucas," he said. There was a plea hidden under his fake unbothered tone.

"I-I wasn't comparing you to him," I muttered.

"Should we try timeouts instead of grounding to get rid of the lying?" He said in a low tone.

I really want to curse him out for trying to scare me after saying all that. But in his defense, this is 'causing trouble'. In other words, 'breaking rules'.

"No, Lucian," I mumbled. I wanted him to be friendly for longer. So I couldn't curse him out now.

Especially when I'm sitting so close that I can get yeeted to hell within half a second.

"I saw your expressions. You were acting like I was gonna hit you," he muttered. "That's never going to happen. I won't hurt you."

His tone was promising and when he said that, it sounded like he would stick by that promise for all his life. That was the effect Lucian's voice had.

But, for some reason, just words didn't feel enough. It didn't feel enough to trust him with that. He has slapped his brother who has lived with him for so long.

Why would he be more lenient with me who has entered his life just about two weeks ago?

I nodded my head still.

"Would you just sit here for a while? If you're free, that is," Lucian asked, unwrapping one arm from around me.

I shrugged. Not like I have anything to do.

Lucian had unwrapped his right arm from around me and was now writing something on the papers before him with his right hand.

I turned a little and frowned at the papers.

What paperwork do Mafia men do?

A ping caught my attention. I patted my pockets for my phone when I remembered that it was confiscated.

Lucian pulled my phone out of his pocket.

"I forgot to put it on silent," he muttered.

I leaned forward to look into my phone, to see who texted me.

'Hey.'

"That's all?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I was wondering the same." Lucian said, furrowing his eyebrows too. "Should we wait to see if they send something else?"

"No. Let me just ask," I said, extending my hand to grab the phone. Lucian watched as I texted, 'who's this?'

'Jax. I wanted to tell you that club timings are after school, for one hour. Aaron wants you to join tomorrow.'

I rolled my eyes.

"What club?" Lucian asked.

"I joined music club. I wanted to ask if I could stay after school," I asked, looking back at him.

He nodded.

"I don't see why not. It's good you're doing something fun."

I nodded. A smile settled on my lips but it wavered after a moment. The phone flew from my hands and disappeared.

Actually Lucian snatched it back, with an almost smug smile,

"You're still grounded though."

"Fine. Let me reply please," I said, looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow but handed me the phone again.

'I'll talk to Aaron at school tomorrow. I'm grounded so don't contact me unless you want to talk to my brother.'

‘Aaron is not coming to school tomorrow. You can find me in the music room.’

‘Fine.’

I locked the phone and handed it back to Lucian. Lucian took the phone and put it in his pocket again. A second later I felt a hand on my head, pushing it back against his chest. Lucian lowered me so my head rested comfortably on his chest, right where I could hear his heartbeat clearly.

I released a breath and watched the window to the side, since I was facing that way. My body relaxed as the warmth of the embrace seemed to spread though my body. But my elbow that was resting against Lucian’s stomach and the side of mine was hurting me when I put my whole weight. So I drew it back, making Lucian stop his work for a while.

That arm wrapped around him with my hands intertwining behind his back. I took a deep breath and relaxed into him again. When his frozen form snapped back to its normal form, his heart had picked up the pace.

He cleared his throat before leaning down to place a kiss on my hood covered head. “You’re warm.”

“You too,” I mumbled, snuggling closer to him.

His hold tightened, making me more comfortable and sleepier. I yawned loudly and let out a content sigh.

But my comfort was ruined when Lucian’s phone rang loudly. That caused me to jump and for Lucian to tighten his hold.

“Yes?” He asked into the phone. He was silent for a moment.

“I was spending time with my sister,” he said, after that long moment. He was using a suggestive tone while saying that. I wonder why.

“Urgent meeting in ten?” He asked, making me pout and scowl at the window.

“Alright,” Lucian said, after another long moment, probably the person explaining the urgency.

He hung up and tapped my shoulder. I looked up, trying to look as emotionless and unbothered as possible.

“I hate to cut it short, but there’s no other option. Why don’t you go nap in your room?” He said.

I nodded and pulled my arms back. While I was attempting to get off his lap, I was stopped. His warm hand placed under my chin as he pushed it up to make me face him.

He bent down to place a kiss on my forehead. Grabbing one of the bunny ears he pulled the hood back and placed another two on each temple.

My head feels loved!

I smiled wide and looked at him lovingly. This journey is fascinating. I think we’re gonna have that bond sooner. As long as this bitch doesn't ruin it.

“Goodbye, Lucian,” I said, softly, getting up to stand, simultaneously.

He smiled a little and stood up himself, adjusting his tie and smoothening his coat.