"I'm ready," I announced. Jumping down the last step, I looked around the empty lobby.

"Alright. Let's go." Asher appeared from nowhere. Once his smiling face entered my range of vision, my own smile threatened to appear on my face.

"Where's your journal?" He asked, looking at my hands that were stuffed in my pockets. My eyebrows lifted in surprise as I remembered I left the journal in his room.

"I forgot," I said. I was about to turn around and walk upstairs to his room, when he stopped me. I blinked and looked at him with a confused look.

"I'll get it," he said. Asher walked past me before I could protest. I thought about stopping him and protesting more but the thought of waking scary Asher up made me think otherwise.

I turned and watched Asher walk upstairs, wondering if I really trusted him enough with my journal. More like, how I trusted him with my journal. But I found no doubt.

It crashed onto me hard. I had shown him that I trusted him unintentionally by leaving the journal in his room and forgetting about it.

I turned back around only to jump when I saw Lucian there standing a few feet away from me. Now where did he appear from?

"Sit," he said, pointing towards the third step while looking at me.

"But I didn't do anything!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening. "I swear!" I added.

"Just sit, Bunny," he said, trying hard to fight the smile that almost broke on his face.

I gulped and turned around, narrowing my eyes at the step, which was currently mocking me. I wish something would just engulf this step. Would Lucian notice if I just burnt it someday?

I sat down with a scowl. I looked at Lucian's nose and mumbled,

"I really didn't do anything."

He just silently moved forward and crouched down before me, taking hold of the shoelaces and tying them. Oh.

A personal shoelacer!

"Thanks," I mumbled when Lucian stood up. He nodded and stood there, waiting with me for Asher.

Asher strode down just then, with my journal in his hand. His eyes seemed to brighten up when he made eye contact with me.

"Here," he said. He looked down and smiled wider when he saw my shoes. I took my journal from him and stood up from the evil step.

Asher stepped forward, heading to the door while I took my time getting down the steps. Just as his fingers wrapped around the knob, he looked back at Lucian. Lucian sensed the look maybe and turned his head slightly towards the door.

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly, apparently not getting what he means.

I moved forward eyeing the two cautiously. Asher was playing with fire but Lucian was dealing with a volcano. Volcano that doesn't always cause harm but is capable of damaging when the time comes. That's how I will explain scary Asher. He doesn't always show his anger and scare everyone but when he does, it's a terrifying experience.

Asher turned back to the door and shook his head slightly. As I stepped forward more, it slowly seemed to dawn on Lucian.

"Bye," Lucian said, when Asher cleared his throat before he opened the door.

"Bye, Lucian." I smiled. I followed Asher out. He held my hand in his as we descended down the stairs to the driveway. A car was parked there already, waiting for us.

"After you, princess," Asher said, in a heavy voice, opening the door for me. He pretended to remove his hat and bowed.

"Thank you," I said. A sweet smile appeared on my face as I climbed in. Shutting my door, Asher walked towards the driver's seat and got in himself.

"Are you ready, my love?" He asked sweetly, while leaning towards me to put my seatbelt on for me.

"Yes," I said, clutching the journal tightly, feeling the nervousness settle inside. Asher seemed to have sensed it.

"I'll be right outside the whole time," He reassured, as he moved to put his own seatbelt on.

I nodded and tapped my feet when he started driving. He sang through the whole way, in different voices and tapping his hand on the steering wheel. Which was really funny, so it entertained me and made me forget about the nervousness I had for the session.

"I'll open the door," he said, when I reached for the handle once we stopped outside the clinic.

I sat back again, watching him get out and cross the car quickly. He opened my door and smiled as I got out.

With an arm wrapped around my shoulders comfortingly, he led us both in.

'He's going to get tired soon. He'll stop with all this loving act once he knows how actually fucked up you are.'

My breathing hitched. I looked up and turned my head slightly to look at Asher. He had his shades on now and was looking straight ahead, with no emotion on his face.

I blinked once.

He won't. I think I trust him now.

'You think. No one keeps broken things around for long.'

I'm not broken.

My hold on the journal tightened.

So did Asher's hold on me. The arm around my shoulders pulled me closer so now I was tucked under his arm. I looked up to find him looking at me.

"What's wrong, Honey?" He asked. He tapped my forehead softly. "What is going on here?"

"Nothing." I tried to smile, but my lips wouldn't lift up. There was an invisible force pulling the corners of my lips down.

I swear if this is another thing related to this ski stuff.

A frown covered Asher's face, making me look down.

He simply started walking again, rubbing his hand up and down on my arm gently. Once inside, instead of leading me towards Nico's office, he made me sit on the bench I sat on when I came here for the first time.

"What's going on here, Bunny?" He repeated his question, crouching down before me. He tapped my forehead again gently.

"Just the voice," I mumbled, not being able to look at him.

He was silent for a moment. I looked back at him to see him looking down at my hand. His hand lifted from the bench on my side and he grabbed my wrist gently.

He guided my hand to rest on my chest, right where my heart is.

"What is going on here?" He asked, looking into my eyes this time.

My eyebrows furrowed. I don't know the answer to that.

Seeing my confusion, he continued.

"Love goes on in here. There's nothing but love and care here."

"So when the voice spews out negativity or is being mean to you." He said. A smile appeared on his face as he kept speaking in a gentle voice. "You simply put your hand on your heart and feel the love residing inside you. The care for yourself. That love and care will give you the power to fight that monster."

He kept my hand there. I felt my own heartbeat while looking into his eyes. With his widening smile, widened my own.

It wasn't long before I was smiling wide, while looking at Asher with nothing but love in my eyes.

"That's my sunshine," he said, raising himself up to place a kiss on my forehead.

I jumped down from the bench and stood before him, as he ran his hand over my hair and smiled. He took my hand in his again and started walking towards Nico's office.

I stood behind Asher as he raised his fist to knock. I fidgeted with the journal in my hand, wondering if I should just dump it somewhere.

He hadn't knocked yet, but the office door opened.

I looked up from the journal but couldn't see anything because Asher blocked the view.

The chuckles stopped at once. There were two sets of chuckles though that stopped as soon as the door opened.

"Hey, Asher," Nico said, with an awkward touch to his tone.

I frowned and peeked from Asher's side to look at what was happening.

The two pairs of eyes lowered to look at me and a smile appeared on both of the faces.

"Nice to meet you again, Bunny," Muffin said, as he glanced at Asher awkwardly, before looking back at me with a sweet smile.

"Hi, Muffin," I said. I looked to see Asher was frowning while looking anywhere except his two best friends.

"Nice to meet you, Asher," Beau said, looking at Asher for a response. He kept staring while fiddling with his watch. The nervous look on his face made me fidget with the journal more.

"Nice to meet you too," Asher said, releasing an almost inaudible sigh. He was hesitant while replying which caused my fidgeting to get worse. I don't feel good.

Why are they so awkward around each other?

Asher stepped back when Nico stepped out, followed by Beau, who shut the door softly behind him.

I stepped aside watching the three men. I've seen them all together after so long.

"How're you doing?" Asher asked, looking at Beau. There was a sadness hidden that I sensed. I don't know how.

"Good. You?" Beau asked, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Good," Asher answered. An awkward silence fell after that. My gaze kept flicking between the two. Both of them refused to look at anyone and kept looking at the floor or a wall.

Nico cleared his throat after a while. My gaze shifted to him to find him looking at me.

"Let's start, shall we? I heard you have a picnic which you're too excited about?"

I nodded, not really wanting to leave Asher like this but having no choice, apparently.

"Why don't you two go grab a drink or something while we start our session?" Nico asked, looking at the two boys, whose heads snapped towards him.

I looked at Nico, who was looking at both of them pleadingly. I frowned. If Nico wants them to go so bad...

"But Bunny-"

"I'll be okay, Asher," I said. Asher looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "You should go."

"Okay. Bunny's orders. You have to go now," Nico said, ushering them away. I stood there clutching the journal tightly as Nico shooed them away.

He walked back towards me. His gaze landed on my hands and his smile appeared.

"Let's get to work," he said, opening the door for me.

I walked in and took a seat on the cushioned chair again. Nico waited for me to get seated before he moved to his chair.

I opened the journal to the page where I wrote the short note while Nico waited, watching me patiently.

I put it on the desk and pushed it towards him. Nico reached forward and picked it up.

I looked down and clenched my eyes shut. My heart was beating fast. I still doubted this. I didn't want to seem pathetic.

"I'm proud of you, Bunny."

I looked up slowly and glanced at Nico, who had the journal in one hand, looking at it closely.

His eyes locked with mine and he smiled.

"This is another step towards healing. I'm proud of you for communicating."

I smiled, which wavered when he continued.

"But I would like you to answer some questions."

I nodded and kept fiddling with my thumb. This had made me too nervous.

"Were you alone when you got this urge?" He asked, lowering his hand so my journal rested on the desk.

"Yes," I answered.

"Did something sad or unpleasant happen before it or was it just random?"

"I had an argument with Jayden and Damien."

At that statement, Nico seemed to be fighting to be in his professional role or express his displeasure at this. His eyes narrowed then returned back to their normal size. He decided to stick with his professional self, it seemed.

"Why?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Jayden was sore because I introduced myself as a Verlice and not as a Mazzanti. So we got into an argument over dinner and they said things about Dad," I mumbled. I wasn't sure if I wanted Nico to know this, but I said it anyways. Why would I care if it got them in trouble with Nico?

Nico hummed in response and turned to his notepad. He stared at the supposedly blank paper while twirling his pen in his hands. He finally lowered his pen to the paper. He kept scribbling on his notepad, not taking his eyes off it for a long time.

When he was finally out of his thoughts, he looked at me.

"You haven't mourned for him, have you?" He asked, cautiously. He watched my reaction closely, which was a widening of my eyes and looking away.

I stared at my hands for a long silent moment and slowly shook my head.

"How did you react when it told you all that awful stuff?" He asked, changing to a safer topic.

"I got scared," I muttered. "So I tried to block the noises by putting my hands on my ears. When that didn't work, I hid under the blankets." My voice dropped to a whisper by the end of that. But Nico surely heard me. That's why I didn't dare to look up at him.

When there was just silence, I continued.

"Then Asher entered and started comforting so everything went back to normal."

"Alright," He nodded, his pen never stopping on his notepad. "Anything unusual you felt?"

I thought for a moment.

"Can this ski stuff stop me from smiling?" I asked. He looked at me for a moment pondering the answer.

"Why? How did you experience it?" He asked, answering with a question of his own.

"It told me something when we reached here, so Asher asked what was wrong and I said nothing. I tried to smile but it was like something wasn't letting me," I mumbled, glancing up to see his reaction.

There was an adoring smile on his face as my words sinked in.

"First, lying like that is completely unacceptable. They need to know if you're experiencing something so they can try to help you out," he began, making the fiddling worse.

"But I didn't want to tell him what it said," I muttered.

"Did he force you to tell him?" Nico tilted his head to the side. I shook my head.

"No," I whispered.

"Did he ask again?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," I answered.

"Did you tell him what it said?" He asked next.

I shook my head.

"I said, it was the voice and he left it there."

A frown appeared on my face as realization struck me hard.

"Exactly. No one is going to force you," Nico said, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the table. "He just wanted to know if something was bothering you and that's all. What did he do after you told him about it?"

"He said positive things," I said but Nico interjected.

"To balance out, even dominate, the negative." He finished my sentence.

I stayed silent at that.

"And that's exactly why they need to know exactly what it said." He said. "But they're not forcing you yet."

"Yet?" I asked, looking up with wide eyes and a rather scared look on my face.

"Yet, Bunny." Nico confirmed. "Asher isn't as patient as you might think. If he thinks something is bothering you and you're keeping it inside he won't take it easy. I'm surprised he isn't forcing you to tell him."

"But he shouldn't force me." I almost exclaimed that sentence but stopped myself.

"Won't it be easy if he knew exactly what it said so he could counter back with an appropriate response." Seeing the confused look on my face, he continued. "A doctor doesn't give medications until he's pointed out the disease, Bunny. If he doesn't know what it is saying, he can't affect it that much. He can't clear the doubts you have."

I stayed silent again and just looked down. Although there was a soft smile on Nico's face, I still felt bad and kinda stuck. I didn't want to tell.

"As for the answer to your question, you should ask Asher. He knows the answer," he said. I looked up at him.

"He does?" I asked, to which he gave a simple nod with a big smile on his face.

"They're not back yet," Nico said, once we exited his office and Asher and Beau weren't back.

"What is happening between them?" I asked, looking up at Nico, hoping he'd tell me.

"I don't know if I should tell you." He mumbled, looking away from my face. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Please, Nico. I won't tell anyone, I swear. I'm just worried for them," I said, looking at him pleadingly and tugging at his shirt sleeve.

He looked at me and frowned. After seeing I wasn't backing down, he looked away and sighed. He led me to sit on one of the chairs and sat beside me.

"After I'm done with this story, you're gonna forget I ever said anything about this, okay?" He asked. I nodded quickly.

"There was girl with us in medical school. She was our classmate, Millie," He began. "Asher liked her, so did Beau. But they hid it from everyone, including me and each other. But Millie knew how they both felt and she kinda got in between."

"But they're childhood best friends," I said, a frown appearing on my face. "How could she just push them away and turn them against each other?"

"She didn't," Nico said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. He stared at the wall as he continued. "Asher pushed her away when he found out Beau liked her. But along with Millie, he pushed Beau away too."

"Beau thought Asher was being mean because Millie chose him. So they had an argument and then Asher had to move away and shift here, so they distanced each other more."

I frowned. Asher pushed Muffin away?

"But the truth was, Asher wasn't being mean. It just hurt him every time he saw Millie with his best friend and he didn't want to snatch Beau's happiness so he distanced himself."

"Are Beau and that girl still dating?" I asked, looking at my feet. I really hope they aren't. Beau is a little too sweet to be with a girl who tried to get in between him and his best friend.

"No. Beau wasn't happy with her. From what I know, she started saying stuff about Asher and me to him. She tried to keep him away. My guess is she didn't want them to clear the misunderstanding so she tried her best to keep us away from Beau."

"Beau obviously didn't like that and they broke up but the tension between Asher and Beau remained. Both were too guilty to face each other." Nico let out a sad chuckle. "They haven't faced each other all this time."

"Did Beau visit to meet Asher today?" I found myself asking. Otherwise he would've left before we came.

"No." Nico chuckled. "He wanted to leave but I stopped him and stalled time until you and Asher got here. The expressions on his face were priceless."

Nico started laughing, making me laugh too. He was mean for doing that to poor Muffin but it was definitely needed.

"I really want them to make up again. They're both hurting."

"And you too," I muttered, looking at the pained expression on his face.

He nodded, not making eye contact with me.

"I miss those times." He shrugged.

We sat in silence for a while before footsteps were heard and Asher and Muffin appeared.

Asher was emotionless while Muffin was smiling slightly.

"How'd it go?" Asher and Nico asked at the same time, then chuckled and Asher punched Nico's bicep lightly.

"Good," Nico answered looking at me, then back at them expectantly.

"Good," Muffin said, turning his head slightly to look at Asher.

As he turned his head, my eyes landed on his jaw, which was red.

"Did you hit each other?" I asked. My eyebrow twitched as I looked at the spot on Beau's face which was clearly punched.

All three heads snapped towards me. Asher was the first to move his gaze away from me and to Beau's jaw. His shoulder hunched slightly as he looked at the reddened skin guiltily.

"N-No," Muffin stuttered, looking at Nico for help. His wide eyes looked frantically for help from Nico.

At that moment, teenage Beau's baby face appeared before my eyes and my blood boiled. I never thought that baby faced sweet brother could ever take a hit.

My eyes travelled to my second eldest brother slowly who was silent and looking away.

It was clear Beau hit Asher back because there was some guilt in his expressions too. My jaw clenched tightly and my stare threatened to turn into a glare.