"Dinner!" Josiah said, knocking at our door as he passed by. I blinked and looked away from the wall.

Lowering my gaze to the notebook open before me, I frowned.

Two sentences. That's all I wrote in about four hours.

I slammed the pen, that I was twirling in my finger, down on the desk.

A shadow loomed over the desk. I titled my head to look at who was blocking the light. Rose was standing behind me, frowning at the notebook.

"Two sentences?" She asked, looking around the desk. "What were you doing?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, making her go still and silent.

"Asher's home," she said, indirectly telling me to talk to him about it.

Slowly building the walls back up. Slowly. That will cease all these emotions flowing out uncontrolled.

I nodded to myself, which Rose took as a confirmation that I will talk to Asher.

I've let the leash too loose. And too soon. I'll just have to tighten it again and regain the control that I lost.

'Being so dependent on Asher wouldn't bode well for you.'

I stood up and stepped to the side. Rose pushed the chair back in while I stopped for a moment to take a deep breath and calm my nerves.

The past hours were spent thinking about something. Although the wall was plain and smooth, I could see images there. All I remember is it was sad and scary. And painful. No matter how much I try, I can't remember what exactly I was seeing.

Rose put her hand forward, which I took and walked beside her to the door.

Avoid Asher. No big deal.

Stepping out, I waited for Rose to step out before closing the door. I started walking, thinking of the various possibilities that could be drawn from this.

Lucian might already know about everything that constituted our day then I will be in trouble.

Or they can snitch to him, which they will, then I'm in trouble.

Either way, I'm in trouble.

A sharp pain seemed to shoot through that particular scar at the thought of 'consequences'.

Turning the corner, my steps halted and I took an abrupt step back. I was now hiding behind that corner, hearing Asher's footsteps approach. He didn't see me thankfully.

"What happened?" Rose asked, as she tried to move forward and look at what I saw.

"I just remembered I didn't put my phone on charge. You go ahead, I'll be there soon," I said, before quickly scrambling away from there, leaving her alone and dumbfounded there.

My chest heaved up and down as I turned the corner and leaned against the wall.

That was close.

I started walking again. A low beeping started in my ear suddenly, echoing along with the faint voices in my head, muttering something incoherent.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to push these to the back of my mind by focussing on Dad.

But nothing came. No memory, no visions. I came up blank.

All I could see was my second eldest brother, somehow being like my Dad, maybe trying to take his place and trying to see past the walls.

'Family is like a snoopy neighbor, invading your space and trying to snoop into your heart to see what all is happening inside. Since I always have my little hearts with me, I always know what is happening.'

A groan stopped just at my lips when I face planted into a hard surface and that hard surface smelled much like the third most comforting cologne I've ever smelled in my life.

I sighed and raised my hands. Putting my palms on the hard stomach, I tried to pull away.

But before I could, strong arms wrapped around me, trapping me there.

"Something tells me I was badly missed today," he began. His chest rumbled when he said that in that same blending-with-the-silence tone. The hands on his stomach clenched into fists involuntarily, bunching his white shirt in them.

"As much as that makes me happy, I still want to know the reason behind it," he said, softly rubbing his hand on my back.

A deep shaky breath is what escaped my mouth, despite trying to hold my breath so there was no sign which he could use to find out what is happening.

"Hm?" He asked, jerking his shoulder a bit, nudging me to continue.

"Nothing. It was just my first day, you know-" I cut myself off. "I mean, a big change in routine."

And staying away from him.

He sighed and leaned down to place a soft kiss on my head. The warmth from that spot on my head spread through me like relief, causing me to relax into his hold and take a deep breath again.

Funny how one kiss can have that effect.

Asher kept his lips on my head, while I stood there, basking in his warmth.

The warm embrace felt like home more than this mansion will ever feel like.

Lifting his head back up, Asher said.

"We'll talk more after dinner," he said, trying to pull away. He stopped and chuckled when my clenched fists on his stomach caused him to step forward again.

I released my hold and stepped back, not looking into his eyes.

Damn the luck for making me run into who I was avoiding.

A finger under my chin raised my head, making me lift my gaze too and stare into the similar silver-gray eyes.

I could point out every emotion flowing through those eyes. His eyes searched mine for something. He smiled his usual warm smile and moved forward to kiss my forehead.

"Let's go," he said, straightening his spine and offering his hand.

'Don't let the walls down.'

I stared at his hand for a moment, wondering if it would hurt him if I don't take it.

When I kept staring, his hand vanished from my vision and instead he held my hand himself. His big warm hand engulfed my small cold one in it tightly.

He started walking, causing me to trudge behind, with my gaze low. I stared at my feet while thinking of different things.

I'm in trouble.

I stopped abruptly, causing Asher to stop and turn around quickly.

"What happened, Honey?" He asked, bending down to my level.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. Taking a step forward, I looked at him, pleading him to just start walking.

I could face it before, I will face it now.

"Good evening, Bunny," Lucian said, as soon as Asher and I entered. He looked at me closely, making me shift uncomfortably.

"Good evening, Lucian." Came out a mumble.

He didn't scold me for it though, instead he nodded curtly and watched me as Asher led me to my seat beside him. This time Josiah sat on my other side.

After Asher had taken his seat, I noticed his typical 'tired from work Dad' form. Loosened tie, upper two buttons open, sleeves rolled upto his elbows and an exhausted look on his face.

"She's still introducing herself by that name," Jayden began, looking at Lucian, who seemed to understand everything he was talking about.

"Is that so?" Lucian asked, moving his gaze to me slowly. I looked down before he met my gaze, clenching my jaw.

My heart was beating fast, as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt with my already shaky hands. Fear was all I could feel.

"Bunny?"

I took a deep breath and looked up slowly, making direct eye contact with Lucian.

"Yes," I answered, flicking my gaze to his nose.

"After I clearly stated that you were to be addressed as a Mazzanti," he stated, causing my gaze to lower again and drop to his hand that was resting on the table.

"Addressed and introduced are two different things. I told you we would like to keep our name yet you forced your last name upon us." I said, trying not to tear up.

"But you are a Mazzanti. That Verlice guy was your step-father. He wasn't even related to you," Jayden snapped, immediately making me snap my gaze to him.

"Watch what you're saying!" I gritted, a glare appearing on my face.

"What am I saying? The truth maybe," He gritted back. "We get it you used to be real close to him, but he isn't your biological father."

"He's my Dad." I snapped, slamming my fist down on the table in anger. "More of a father than your 'Dad' has been to us. More of family than you guys can ever be."

My voice raised with each word as anger flowed through my veins, numbing every part of my body. I forgot everything except how much I hated Jayden for this.

"You were born into this family-" I cut Damien off, with a raised voice and a clipped tone.

"I may be born a Mazzanti but I was raised a Verlice." I said, sharply, causing him to glare back. "You have no place to force anything upon me and if you try you'd be put in your place, quicker than you expect."

"Okay. Calm down everyone. We can discuss this later," Asher said, leaning forward in his chair.

"No," Damien snapped, shifting his glare to me again.

"Elijah Verlice was not your father. It was a Mazzanti." He gritted, standing up from his chair, barely controlling his anger. His words hit me hard and hurt like a knife going through my heart.

"Enough!" Lucian's voice boomed through the house, making Damien and everyone else go silent. His voice shook the walls, but not more than the anger shaking me.

"What has Alessandro Mazzanti done for me? What has he done for you, Damien?" I gritted, standing up to be on his level. "Kick you out of his house? Or cheat on your Mom? Yet you decided to keep that man's name."

"Shut it, Amira!" He gritted. "What has Elijah Verlice done for you? If I remember correctly it was a Verlice who gave those scars to you."

"Damien!" Asher stood up too.

"Elijah Verlice has done everything no one can ever do. He's given me everything you can never give." I gritted, scowling when Jayden opened his mouth.

"He can never match your blood family." Jayden scoffed and rolled his eyes.

I cut him off quickly, looking at him pointedly.

"And if you're so willing to compare yourselves with my Dad, then you'll have to earn everything from me like he did. Let's see how long you take, he took twenty minutes, maybe less. I may be born a Mazzanti but it wasn't a fucking Mazzanti who kept us away from every little problem. It was a Verlice. A Mazzanti can never match him."

Without waiting for another second, I pushed my chair back and stormed out.

Feeling a pain brew in my chest, slowly building, making it hard to breathe.

He had no right to say those things about Dad. He had no right to even think about him.

I reached my room finally, feeling extremely exhausted.

'Maybe you should kill yourself. They will be happy then.'

My breathing hitched when I heard that all of a sudden.

'The balcony is pretty high. Or there may be a blade in the bathroom.'

My heart raced as I felt blood drain from my face. A pit settled in my stomach at the possibility that they might actually be happy if I didn't exist.

'You'd be able to see Dad and Mom. You will finally be with your happiness.'

A tear flowed down my cheek as I stared at the empty room, which was turning darker with each second.

But what about Rose?

'She's happy without you. She has brothers, who all take care of her. The sweet kid. You're the trouble kid.'

My next breath came out ragged as my shoulders hunched a little, with the energy draining from me at a high pace.

Slowly walking over to the bed, I sat down, staring at my feet and breathing heavily.

I could feel my heart pumping, loud and clear in my ears as the sound echoed in my head.

Nico's voice crept into my head, causing me to clench my eyes shut. I need to ignore this voice.

I tried to do just that, but it's like there were many people around me, yelling stuff. Bad stuff. My hands flew to my ears, trying to block the noises. When it didn't work, I did what a kid would do.

I hid under the blankets and buried my face into my pillow which absorbed the moisture that escaped my eyes when the helpless feeling returned.

A sob raked through my chest. I tried to muffle it the best I could by burying my head further into the pillow and bunching the pillow in my fists.

A weight was put on my back after a moment, moving from my upper back to my lower back then back up, rubbing in a soothing motion.

"Why is Bunny crying?" The voice was high pitched and exaggerated. Something stroked against my neck, tickling a little, causing me to shrug and move more into the blanket.

I sniffled when I felt it again, this time on my hand.

"Bunny is crying because I'm prettier." The high pitched voice said again.

I lifted my head, showing my red puffy eyes, tears flowing down my face and snotty nose. I sniffled again and choked back a sob.

What I came face to face with was indeed a Bunny. A Bunny with a bunch of roses stuck to its chest. I reached for it but Asher moved it away and clicked his tongue.

"No no. We need a big hug before you go back into that blanket palace." He said, softly.

Slamming my face back into the pillow, I mumbled.

"I don't want to."

"You don't want to hug? That's a crime!" He exclaimed, before changing his voice back to high pitched.

"That calls for a punishment," The bunny said, making me lift my head and glare at the stuffie.

"Alright," Asher agreed and seconds later, I felt fingers poking at my sides. I squirmed away from him, trying to get away from the tickle punishment but he caught my upper arm and pulled me back.

A chuckle sounded through the room, as my own giggles filled the silence.

"N-No. I'm sorry!" I said, trying to wriggle out of his hold, letting out another mixture of a sob and a giggle.

"Oh? Then you will give us the hug we all deserve?" He asked, going for my neck to tickle me there.

"Yes!" I yelled, desperately trying to get away.

He stopped immediately, leaving me breathing heavily while letting out a giggle occasionally.

I looked at him through my blurry eyes to see him holding the bunny stuffie close to his face, while looking at me expectantly.

I was laying on my back, so I turned over, laying on my stomach now. Pushing myself up with the palms of my hands flat against the bed, I sat on my knees.

I wiped my face with my sleeve before moving forward towards my second eldest brother. Asher was sitting cross legged on the bed, smiling his usual warm smile.

He pushed the Bunny forward and wiggled it before me.

My hands moved to grab it and this time he let me. My hands wrapped around the fluffy Bunny, my fingers hidden in the fur.

Hugging it for a second, I sniffled and moved towards Asher, wanting his embrace more than anything. As much as this stuffie makes me feel warm and happy inside, I wanted to be held by the most comforting person I've ever met after Dad.

'And you wanted to raise the walls back up.'

I stopped, watching Asher's smile falter a bit.

"Ignore it," he said, opening his arms and crooking his fingers for me to enter his embrace.

'But it was better back then.'

My insides twisted painfully when I resisted the urge to fall into the waiting arms of my brother. That looked too comforting to resist.

The waiting arms looked like they could solve every problem and make every worry vanish once they hid me in that hug.

The hug I wanted yet I was trying so hard to resist.

"Come on, Bunny," Asher encouraged again. I looked into his warm gray eyes. "I want you to ignore it and accept some love on your own."

Ignore it.

That's all they say. But why is it so hard to do such a simple thing?

I took a deep breath and nodded. I started moving forward, trying to keep my thoughts in control.

Maybe I crashed onto him too hard, because he fell backwards, so now he was half laying with his back against the headboard.

"Easy there, Bunny. We might get hurt and start the tickle punishment again," Asher said, as another chuckle reverberated through his chest.

I snuggled into his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me for a warm hug.

"I'm so proud of my little Bunny," he said, placing a warm kiss on my head, spreading relief throughout my body.

Just like his embrace looked like. All the worries seemed to fade away as the arms wrapped around me made a promise of protecting me.

I released a deep breath, relaxing into him as he held me for some time. After about a minute, he adjusted both of us so his legs were no longer crossed but spread out before him, crossing at the ankles.

He adjusted me so I was now sideways to him and lowered me enough, so my ear was directly where his heart was.

He proceeded to wrap the blanket around us, then finally wrapped his other arm around me too. Which, again, provided more warmth than the blanket.

The Bunny sat in my lap, while I fiddled with its arm with one hand while my other hand rested beside my head on Asher's chest.

"Dad was right when he said it's comforting." He tapped my hand that was on his chest. "Do you know why?"

I stayed silent. He took that as a cue to continue.

"Because you feel comforted when the person you love with all your heart shares the contents of their hearts. Heartbeat is a way for hearts to communicate," He began, softly. His voice was equally as comforting as the rhythmic heartbeat echoing in my head.

"But, sometimes, the ear can't decipher what the heart is saying in heart language. So you have to pour the contents of your heart in human language, so the human having the other loving heart understands it," he continued, his hand raising to rest on the side of my head.

Funny how he can play with words and make it sound so sweet.

"And I love you with all my heart, Bunny. That's why I want you to share the contents of your heart with me." He finished with a kiss on my head.

Another tear made its way down my cheek, as I sniffled, all the while looking for a way to put everything going on inside into words.

But I came up with nothing.

All I could do at that moment was bask in the warmth of the embrace and the feeling of those loving kisses placed occasionally on my head.

The frozen heart needed to be warmed to pour its contents, after all.

😭✨

Edit: This story will have 60 chapters, if my calculation isn't wrong. Forgot to say this before lol.