I woke up to an empty bed for the fifth time this week. For a while now (Y/n) hadn't been showing up a home and she'd stopped texting me about a day ago. I assumed it was because she needed space, she'd been going through that phase for a while now but she's even stopped opening my messages and I couldn't help myself from thinking bad.

I sat up in bed and fumbled around for my phone before finding it under my pillow.

3 unread messages

4 missed calls

None of them were from the person I wanted them to be.

I got on Instagram and viewed her story- It was updated 35 minutes ago

There was a message in bold italics underneath it.

😯)

She left her initials so I knew that the bars were written by her and it was obvious they were directed to me.

I was in the studio with Danny and Lil'boat. Smoking and recording when I felt my phone buzz. It was (Y/n)

I picked up immediately, leaving the booth and the studio room all together, walking into the hallway.

"Hello"

'Studio room B. 7th floor'

"What"

'I've got something for you'

"What is it"

'You'll see'

"(Y/n), Im not playing these-"

The line went dead and I clenched my fist around my phone. We hadn't seen eachother outside of the bedsheets and even then, she rode me so good that I'd past out the moment we got finished with clean up.

All we'd been doing lately was having sex and I felt used, as if all I was to her was a living sex doll.

I dipped my head back into the studio room and told Danny and Boat that I had to take a piss. They bought my lie and I made my way to studio room B.

I rode the elevator up to the 7th floor and walked down the hall to Studio room B.

The walk felt so long and my heart was pumping so loud. I didn't understand why I was so nervous.

My hand shook as I grabbed the door knob. I was cold against my extremely sweaty palm and it seemed to squeal in anticipation of me opening it.

When the door opened the room was cold and it smelled LOUD. I got contact high just walking in there and I closed the door behind me.

"Sit on the couch baby"

I heard her through the booth and I did what she said.

"It's cold as a mug in here, (y/n/n)" I said.

I heard her chuckle through the booth before she opened the door to it. Smoke came pouring out behind her and I knew she was more than just a little jaded. She came toward me, swaying from side to side. She stumbled over her own feet and tumbled unto the couch beside me.

"Baby girl" My voice dipped a little as I pulled her toward me. She straightened herself up and sat on my lap facing me.

She started singing a song.

"Why do you save it?

know I can't take this.."

It was my song.

"And it's the truth.

I take it and break it

I fucking hate this"

But adjusted to her point of view.

"I miss your energy and faith, I need it" I mumbled against her neck as I felt her warm tears on my cold skin.

"It's my talent to suffer, resting easily"

"Baby, just use me to hide from your pain" I felt her body jerk against me as she tried to stifle a sob.

"I can't take this bullshit no more Stokeley"

As she said that more tears came, wetting the collar of my BAPE shirt and wetting my neck. She pulled away from me and rolled up her sleeve on her right arm showing me a long red gash on her wrist.

It had been stitched with blue thread and covered in anti-bacterial cream.

"I'm so sorry Stokeley I-I-I was in the hospital for a while because I tried-" Her words were cut off with a body racking sob as she fell back into me.

"Stokeley, you don't understand. Everything's just falling apart and no-one will listen. Everyone has left me and I just can't- I can't do this anymore" She mumbled into the collar of my shirt. "Even before I went to the hospital, You were always in the studio a-an- and you know, I've really been trying to understand because I know you just lost Jarad, but Stoke I was close to him too and it's like you just disregarded that Stokeley. You just left me.... You left me Alone"

A pang of guilt hit me in my chest.

She was right. I'd been ignoring her since Jarad died and it's been months. I'm still hurting but I'm getting through it. I'm managing but all the while I'd just left her in the dust.

"Baby I'm so sorry" I mumbled into her shoulder. "I've been taking you for granted for so long baby-girl I don't deserve your love but please....please" I felt tears beginning to roll down my face. I'd simply been letting her die beside me without even sparing her a glance.

"Please baby, I swear I'll take better care of you baby, just please don't leave me" I let myself cry into her shoulder. "Please, I can't lose anybody else (Y/n). I know I've been taking you for granted lately but I swear all of that will change just please don't go" My voice cracked as I let out a silent sob unto her shirt.

She smelled like weed and chocolate.

She always smelled so good.

"I'm sorry Stokeley I ju-"

"I'm the one that should be sorry (Y/n). Because you're right. I left you all alone, knowing everything and still just leaving you to fend for yourself like that. I'm a terrible person but I swear baby, I'll make this right because I know that We All Need Saving sometimes."