SATURDAY

“Oh my gosh.....what’s the point?!” I sigh exasperated as I flop down onto one of the stools in the dressing room crossing my arms...

“Because Lexi.....we need to make a good impression” Mom replies “You can’t just turn up in a shirt and ripped jeans! God knows what they would think then...” She shakes her head and I just roll my eyes, so what? I’ll rather wear that than what she’s trying to make me wear....

“Just....please go try this one on...” Mom sighs holding out the kinda puffy dress towards me “Last one I promise...just try this on..”

I glare at the light coloured dress my mom’s holding out to me and with an annoyed sigh I grab it out her hand “Fine...” I grumble walking into one of the changing cubical things for about the fricken tenth time!

I hate shopping.

I absolutely despise it.

I mean why would troop around endless shops just to buy clothes? It’s pointless...like what the hEll?!

Grumbling to myself still annoyed that my mom was able to force me to come with her today....it’s already the weekend, and didn’t I say I hope it doesn’t come quick?...yeah well fat chance of that not happening...cus before I knew it BAM...it’s the weekend......and I’m shopping...

Gross.

Now if I was shopping for clothes that I would actually wear...then..yeah...that’s a different story, but not much cus I don’t bother trying things on, ever, I just grab things I like the look of and then ta da...I buy it...

But this...this...this takes the absolute pi-

“You done yet Lex!?” Mom calls over from the other side of the door “Daisy’s here and wants to see too!”

I roll my eyes and tug the one strapped dress up, it may have one strap, but I would hardly call it a strap because it’s thin as piece of string!....useless...

“Alright....alright...” I mumble a reply to my mom as I adjust the itchy dress around me scrunching my nose up at how uncomfy this is......

“Come on!” My mom knocks on the door chirpily, being impatient...

“Okay...” I nearly snap “Gosh...” I mutter and unlock the door yanking it open and giving my mom an annoyed look....

“There I tried it on, now I’m taking it off...because I hate dresses and they hate me....we just don’t go, a bit like jam and pickle-“ I start to ramble but get cut off by my mom

“No...” She says shaking her head a smile appearing at her lips as she steps towards me, her eyes scanning over my dress “That’s the one” She smiles looking back up to meet my eyes “Don’t you think Daisy?”

“Yes!” Comes Daisy reply who’s standing behind my mom and she’s grinning “Definitely” She nods

I frown and pull back from my mom “What?...no...I’m not-“ I cut myself off as I turn around thou, looking at my reflection in the mirror....something I didn’t do while getting changed as I wasn’t paying attention...

The dress, I will admit is only the slightest bit better from previous ones my mom picked out. it’s a light peachy colour and brushes just above my knees as it splays out slightly, and around my waist is a pattern in black material, spiralling up one side and up over to the thin strap over my shoulder, the other side strapless...

I frown as I look at my reflection, my pale skin against the light colour of the dress...makes me look even paler...what the is mom thinking?....this can’t be ‘the one’ it looks hideous on me.....

No wait, every dress looked hideous on me....so that’s no surprise...

Like I said before.....me plus dresses Do. Not. Go! They just aren’t....my ‘thing’.

“Yes...that looks perfect...” My mom smiles behind me in the mirror “Take it off and we’ll go buy it right now..” She smiles...

I let out a defeated sigh and shut the door again once she steps out...what’s the point in arguing? She’s not gunna let me go without one of these horrible uncomfy things....

Changing back into my normal comfy clothes, I breathe a sigh of relief as I feel the comfort of my clothes on my skin, inside of the stiff and itchy material of the dress...

Handing the puffy dress back to my mom, she hurries off to go pay for it and I’m left with Daisy to walk out the store...

And of course, Mom and Daisy both already have their dresses, Daisy with a stunning red one that looks great on her, and that’s me saying that. And my mom with an equally stunning black one...it’s okay for them....they actually wear dresses often....

Leaning against the wall outside the shop waiting for my mom, Daisy smiles at me and starts to make small conversation with me about this and that...before my mom returns carrying a bag and smiling....

“Right...well...now that’s done we can look for shoes to-“

“Oh no..” I cut my mom off “Mom I’ve already got a dress, isn’t that enough? I don’t need shoes aswell...” I plead her “Please.....can’t I just wear some I already have...”

My mom sighs, looking at me “Fine...I guess so..” She mumbles but then smiles “You’re going to look so good next week...”

I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to get some fancy looking shoes as well...but then cringe as my mom mentions next week....yeah, well I’ll just deal with that when the time comes....

“So tell me hon, what’s up with you and the boys?” Mom asks suddenly as we’re waiting for Daisy outside some public toilets, as cus well she’s pregnant and her bladder doesn’t hold very well......

“Huh?” I ask furrowing my eyebrows slightly “What you mean?” I glance up to my mom...

She chuckles “Honny, do you really think I don’t know my own children?....I can tell when something’s going on...” She smiles and I bite my lip looking to the pavement....

“So would you care to tell me what?”

I drag out a sigh leaning against the brick wall “Nothing......” I mumble “Just them being themselves...”I shrug feeling my mom’s eyes on me...

“Hmm...well it’s been going on all week...” Mom comments.. “I don’t know what exactly....but you seem to be....I don’t know, but just not talking very much with them??” She questions thoughtfully eyeing me...

I sigh again, I can’t really hid things from my mom....she’s just too...observant! with having so many kids...you’ve gotta be I guess...

“Mom.....why is it that whenever I talk to someone different anyone at all....they always have to interfere...” I mumble looking to the ground, and kinda answering my mom with my own question...

“And by ‘them’ I presume you mean your brothers...” She questions and I nod...

Releasing a light chuckle my mom leans against the opposite wall from me “More specifically, Evan, Chris, Seth and Blake?” once more I nod....

“And one more question..” Mom says and I look up to her to see her smiling “does ‘someone different’ mean a certain next door neighbour of ours?” She quirks an eyebrow looking slightly amused...

“What?!” I speak loudly eyebrows raising then turning into a frown “What? No!....I..I mean anyone...” I trail off as I see the look on my mom’s face...

Chuckling to herself she smiles at me “Sweetie....I may be old...but I’m not blind..” she muses and I just frown at her, one she’s not even old and two because I’m confused still....

“Over the years I’ve picked up on a few things..” she starts to say “a few things from each of you, for example, I know when you’re lieing, scared or anxious..” She gives me a look and I swallow she does?

“Firstly Chris, he’s easy to sus because he does that thing with his tongue when he lies, it’s a real giveaway...” she chuckles lightly and I faint a smile as I now realise that too “the hardest thou...would be the twins...because they are always up to something, I don’t really get a chance to see if their lieing...but one trait I know is when they stutter over each other, I know then something is going on..” She smiles and I lightly chuckle...sounds like them all right...

“The rest of the boys are easy too...with similar things if it isn’t an eye twitch it’s a nervous hesitation...” She chuckles stepping forward from the wall her eyes on me..

“But you Lexi.....” she starts smiling softly at me “you Lexi are a little more complicated than them....” She speaks gently and steps forward towards me “you know why?”

I shake my head my eyes glued to her hazel ones as she stops right in front of me, brushing a piece of my hair behind my ear...

“Because you Lexi.....you are my little girl...” I feel my throat close up at her words, and my breathing quicken, I haven’t heard that in such a long time...it reminds me so much of him...he used to call me that...

My mom smiles softly at me looking me in the eye “You’re my baby girl Lex.....my only girl...and I would do anything for you, just like I would do for every one of your brothers, but your special because your are just like someone I used to know...” she smiles loving at me, her eyes glazing over....”Someone I used to know very, very well...and you’re doing and showing all the things they used to do,...all the things I used to do, so....I can pretty much tell what’s going on, you are just like me Lexi....” She cups my face in her hands “You are just like I used to be and I can read you like an open book, your my daughter.....I know much more than you think....”

Staring into my mom’s eyes as she smiles softly at me, showing sincerity in her eyes...I have no doubt she’s lieing...

I swallow a lump rising in my throat and continue the eye contact with her, she’s never said anything like this before....ever..

“Lexi....I love you, and so do each of your brothers...” she continues “They are just doing what I cannot do for you and what you’re missing...” She trails off....her eyes become glazy “They’re protecting you Lex......they’re doing what your father would have wanted them to do....”

“To look after his baby girl...” He voice wavers as she brushes a piece of hair behind my ear again looking me in the eye.....her’s watering slightly and I feel the lump rise in my throat again and my stomach twists into uncomfortable knots.

Swallowing hard I push the lump down and move my gaze from my mom nodding, understanding now....understanding so much more...

My mom pulls me into a hug tightly and I breathe in her motherly scent squeezing my eyes shut... “Don’t be too harsh on them Lex....they’re only looking out for you..” She whispers into my hair and I swallow nodding my hand going up to my neck, fumbling with the small locket in my hand...

Pulling away, I breathe deeply through my nose, forcing my eyes to stay dry and my mom smiles softly at me, whipping her eyes slightly and kisses my forehead....

I bit my lip looking to the floor as I hear Daisy coming back out...

I feel guilty....

Guilty because I should have realised this....they really are doing what our father would have done...and would now want them to do....

Gosh....I am really blind...

~~~

“So you got a dress?” Seth asks as he’s flopped down on my bed fiddling with his phone

“Unfortunately...” I mutter under my breath as I dump the shopping bag with the dress in at the bottom of my wardrobe, disgusted....

“Well....it’s better that you’ve got it over and done with...right?” He comments from the bed...

“Suppose...” I shrug then sigh as I close the closet door turning around to look at my twin led across my bed, staring at his phone, but not looking as if he’s actually doing anything on it...

“What you doing?” I scrunch my eyes up in question “Texting someone?” I raise an eyebrow, a small teasing smirk tugging at my lips...

Dropping his phone he looks to me and quickly shoves it back in his pocket “What?...no...nothing..” He mumbles shaking his head and the folds his arms...

“Hmmm...” I hum suspiciously not believing him while smirking as I walk over to my bed that has him on...

Approaching him slowly, his eyes for some reason closed with his arms behind his head, I smirk taking this to advantage....

With a quick action I dart my hand into his pocket and pull out his phone quickly before he even gets a chance to grab it...

“Lexiiii..” He whines frowning at me as he sits up from my bed...

I smirk victoriously and back away from him as I look down to his phone “Aha!....better sleep with one eye open next time..” I smirk up at him as he stands from my bed frowning at me...

Still smirking I back up to my door as he approaches me and quickly click around on his phone getting to his inbox....

“Lexi...give it back” Seth nearly growls glaring at me as he advances quickly to me not looking happy...

I smirk dodging his attempts to grab me or his phone and I scroll through his recent texts..

“Let’s see who you’ve been texting hmm...haha...Oh..Seth-Wait....April?” My teasing smile drops as I see many messages with the name above reading the same name – April.

With a frown etched onto my face I look back up to Seth who’s stood in front of me and his face showing an expression that it was obvious he didn’t want me to find out....

“April?” I spit out my eyes narrowing and I see him release a sigh

“April...” I repeat again but this time coming out more as a sigh “You still like her?....it’s not a joke?....you actually still do?” I can’t quite believe this...yes I know before Seth said – well not really say, more like I got it out of him – but still, I thought it would just blow over...he would forget about it...about her.....

I guess I was wrong.

With Seth’s phone in my palm as I stare at my twin, he sighs taking it back and stuffing it safely back in his pocket “Yes...no...I don’t know” He shakes a hand through his hair “I don’t know Lex....but would you just stop bugging me about it.....so what if I do or not?...it’s not really any of your business..” He replies his eyes narrowing ever so slightly at me as he brushes past me out my room...

I blink staring after him “It is my business...” I speak my voice growing quiet as he gets further away “I’m your twin....” I trail off seeing his retreating form disappear into his room....

I’m his twin.....it is my business to know these things right?