《Homeward Bound Part One: An Unexpected Journey》Chapter Forty-Two
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Bilba watched Smaug.
He returned the favor. He was curled in a tight coil with his tail wrapped around his head and over his snout. His breathing looked to be somewhat labored, not that she was an expert on what normal breathing was for a dragon, but not nearly enough to suggest he planned to drop dead any time soon.
It had gotten boring an hour ago but she couldn't bring herself to look away for fear it would rapidly get un-boring. It was like standing on ice that had started cracking under her feet. As long as she stayed put she'd be fine, but the second she started to move she risked dying horribly.
Her stomach twisted and she put a hand on it, massaging lightly. The nausea plaguing her since Mirkwood had lessened but hadn't subsided completely. It had been a long time since she'd had any of Oin's herbs and her stomach was beginning to protest the loss.
She could feel the press of Kili beside her but he was just as mesmerized, his eyes fixed on the dragon. Bilba had been startled, and shamefully relieved, to see Kili when Smaug brought her back to the Treasury. The dragon had put him up on a collapsed pillar where he couldn't get down. Bilba had been tossed unceremoniously on a pile of gold and Kili had hit the ground next to her an instant later.
After that the dragon proceeded to destroy a pillar in front of the Treasury door, solidly blocking it behind a mound of rubble.
A look in the other direction had revealed the not-as-secret-as-some-might-claim door had also been sealed off.
Meaning they were sealed off.
Inside the Treasury.
With a dragon.
Who had promptly curled into a ball and proceeded to try and stare them to death.
Given the fear coursing through her and the way she couldn't seem to stop shaking, he might just succeed.
She hadn't had a chance to see the damage to his eye after Kili shot him but she had a clear view now. It was a yellowish, white color with the center a mess of black and red where the arrows had gone in. Dark green-black liquid seeped out almost continually and the flesh around it was puffed and swollen.
The skin around the eye had also drained of color. Smaug was a deep red brown but around the injury the color had leached out, turning a sickly, mottled, pale color.
A color, she noted, that was spreading.
Over the last two hours it had widened until over half his head had lost the bright luster of health and now held the dull pallor of illness.
"You don't look so good."
The words slipped out unbidden and Bilba felt Kili stiffen next to her. As she did her own mind informed her that, yes, her mouth had indeed shot off without her permission and it had done so before Kili had.
Meaning she was more of a reckless idiot than he was.
Clearly this was Thorin's influence.
The dragon shifted languidly. "If I could I would claw these wretched arrows out and drive them into you one by one and let your companion listen to you die."
Bilba's mouth opened again. "Why don't you then? I'll rip them out for you if you want."
"Bilba," Kili hissed next to her. "Could you please not antagonize the dragon?"
Bilba rolled her eyes at him and lowered her own voice to a matching hiss. "I'm pretty sure we moved well past antagonizing him when we shot him in the eye!"
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Smaug moved suddenly, coins jangling and clinking as he slid across them. "I wonder," he mused, "if your sudden bravery comes from the misplaced notion that you've won?"
Without warning the monster lunged, far faster than Bilba would have thought possible for something of his size. She barely had a chance to scream before she found herself flat on her back, the beast looming over her. Kili shouted something but couldn't get past the bulk of Smuag's body, wrapped around and over Bilba.
"You travel with dwarves," he hissed. "Did you really think I would not know why you have come?"
Bilba's chest heaved as she struggled to draw in breath. Her body was frozen, limbs incapable of movement. "I was hired to kill you," she gasped out, her mind working frantically. The thought of him realizing who Thorin, Fili and Kili were sent a barb of pure terror straight into her heart. As much as she didn't want to be there, the last thing she wanted was for the dragon to decide to head back out after Thorin and Fili or anyone else in the Company. "The mission was unsanctioned by the dwarven leaders, put together by those desiring vengeance." She took a deep breathing, her mind reaching. "The Company belongs to me," she said desperately, "the fact it is comprised of dwarves is happenstance."
Smaug leaned forward, so close she could feel him brushing against her stomach. A half strangled whimper escaped her lips, her body shaking so hard it was a wonder it didn't vibrate apart entirely. "You," the dragon hissed, "are a poor liar. The reek of Durin's line surrounds you. You would seek to supplant me and place his spawn upon the throne. You would take the treasure that is rightfully mine!"
The last was a near roar of rage, the sound threatening to burst her eardrums with how close it was. His jaws opened, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth. Hot, fetid breath washed over her, blowing her hair back from her face, the bead braided into it slipped off her shoulder to land on the ground by her head.
Bilba screwed her eyes shut, her body tensing in anticipation of being ripped apart by his fangs. Blood pounded in her head, a rushing sound that nearly drowned out Kili's panicked howls as he fought to get to her. Her stomach began to clench in an awful way and she knew if the dragon didn't kill her soon she'd probably end up throwing up all over him.
Desperately Bilba tried to mentally say good-bye, to Thorin, Fili, Kili, the others, Priscilla...but the words wouldn't come, her mind so locked up by fear all she could manage was an inane internal babble.
"You think you have won, don't you?"
The words were so quiet she almost didn't hear them through the roaring in her head.
The sensation of something nearly on top of her vanished and she risked opening her eyes to see Smaug sitting upright before her. Footsteps raced frantically across the gold and then Kili was standing in front of her, wild eyed, challenging the dragon on legs that barely held him.
Bilba gazed up at Smaug, keeping her eyes just below his. The discoloration had spread again, and appeared to be picking up speed. His entire head was now bleached of color and it was fast moving down his neck.
"Have we not?" she whispered. "Do you deny you're dying?"
Something in the dragon seemed to shift and, for an instant, Bilba caught a glimpse of an ancient intelligence, of a mind that had lived through countless generations, fought battles and witnessed firsthand the history Bilba had only ever been able to read about in books.
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"You have succeeded," the dragon intoned, "but the grasp of it will lie forever just outside your reach for as I die so too will you."
Bilba stilled, the suspicion that had been growing in her mind confirmed. "That's why you trapped us in here? So we could die alongside you?"
"It seemed fitting," Smaug answered. "You will die slowly, with all you wished for laid out before you."
"It won't matter," Kili shouted, his voice trembling only slightly. "You'll still be dead and Uncle will take the throne. The line of Durin will be restored in Erebor whether or not we live to see it!"
Bilba closed her eyes in despair. Of all the times for Kili to find his voice, she thought.
Smaug made a rumbling sound. "So you admit it finally. It is Durin's spawn come to steal my gold from me after all."
"It's not your gold!" Kili snapped. "It belongs to the Dwarves!"
Smaug didn't appear to be listening. His head was still turned toward Bilba and she could feel his gaze on her as if it were a physical presence.
"The dwarf you were with," he said mildly, "he seemed quite taken with you. Tell me, was that Durin's heir?" A clawed arm reached out, lightly trailing along Kili's body for a brief second before withdrawing. "This one has the scent but his youth betrays him."
"Why does it matter?" Bilba replied. As she spoke she reached up absently and wound a hand around Thorin's ring, clasping it as though her life depended on it.
"I am trying to decide," Smaug continued, "if I unblocked the door and called for him, do you think he would come? To save his spawn and his lover?"
Kili made a strangled sound. Bilba shut her eyes, one hand tangled in the fabric of her pants, the other still clutching the ring. She tried to swallow but her throat was dry. "He doesn't care for either of us," she lied, "his only goal is to regain Erebor. The rest of us are expendable in his eyes."
So please, please, please don't call him in here, Bilba thought desperately. Please just leave him alone.
Thorin would come if Smaug called for him, of that she had no doubt. He would walk in and Smuag would either kill him outright or leave him to starve alongside them.
"Your lying does not improve the more you attempt it." Smaug sounded amused. "But it matters not. I will not call for him. My revenge shall be greater than I had imagined. Durin's kin and his lover and the ones she carries. By the time he makes his way in here all he will find are your rotting corpses defiling his precious gold. Let him have his throne and his gold, he will not spend a day in the company of either without seeing your deaths and knowing how powerless he was to stop them."
Bilba stopped playing with the ring at her throat and her hand stilled upon her pant leg.
What did he say?
She lifted her head and found Kili had turned to look at her in horror, his face suddenly pale. Bilba frowned at him in confusion. "What?"
His eyes still on her, Kili addressed the dragon. "What are you talking about? What ones she carries?"
The dragon was silent. Several long minutes passed during which the Treasury might as well have been empty.
Suddenly Smaug's face contorted; a horrible twisting of his muscles and skin. At the same time the most bizarre sound came out from his throat, deep and twisted, it reverberated through the chamber.
With a start, Bilba realized what it was.
The dragon was laughing.
He was back in her face again, shoving Kili aside as though he were a fly.
"Can it be," the monster breathed his voice triumphant, "that you do not know?"
"Know what?" Bilba demanded.
He laughed again, throwing his head back and nearly roaring. The sound echoed through the chamber, bouncing off the wall until she was surrounded by it on all sides.
Smaug twisted, moving several feet away and coiling around one of the few pillars he hadn't broken yet. "Tell me, young one, how do you think I tracked you and your little dwarf lover through the stone?"
"I wouldn't know," Bilba said. As she spoke she carefully got to her feet and moved to where Kili was still picking himself up, his eyes dazed.
"I heard you," the dragon nearly purred. "Your speech, your breaths, your footsteps upon the rock." He swirled around the column and approached again. "But most importantly," he hissed, "your heartbeat. So many of you infested my home all at once, like scurrying cockroaches. Even after I left to get the other one," his head shifted minutely to Kili, "I knew how to find you again, even through solid rock. Do you want to know how?"
"Because you knew our general location?" Bilba muttered. She wrapped her arms around Kili and helped lever him to a better position, nearly sitting all the way upright. She slid a hand through his hair, feeling a lump where he'd struck his head when he hit the ground. There didn't appear to be any broken skin or blood and she breathed a slight sigh of relief.
"Your heartbeat has an echo." The voice was suddenly right at her ear and Bilba screamed in shock, turning violently and jerking away. She hit Kili who, still unsteady, lost his balance and fell over. He managed to grab her as he went so the two of them ended up sprawled on the ground.
"An echoing heartbeat," Smaug repeated, not moving from his spot. "As though another beat in tune with it." He lowered his head until it was flat on the ground in front of her. "Though, in your case, as though two beat in tune."
Bilba stared at him blankly. What in the world was he babbling about? Had the Morgul shafts started to addle his mind?
She turned to look at Kili in confusion, only to see him staring at her with that same look he'd worn earlier.
"What?" she asked her voice snappish.
"Bilba," he breathed. He swallowed. "You have three heartbeats."
"That's ridiculous!" Bilba scoffed. "I think my parents would have noticed if I had more than one heart. Where would they even fit?"
"I never said you have three hearts," Smaug mused, clearly taking great enjoyment from the entire thing. "I said three heartbeats."
Bilba rolled her eyes. "And I said that's ridiculous. The only way I could have three heartbeats but not three hearts is if--"
Her mind slammed to a stop as if someone had planted a wall inside her head. Her entire world literally shifted, the very foundations rocking.
A feeling of intense cold washed over her, followed closely by an even stronger wave of dizziness. Her body sagged and she barely felt Kili grab her, pulling her body against his own to support her.
Her mind flashed to her mother, in the early months after she'd learned she was expecting Bilba's baby brother. She remembered clearly the days her mother spent bent doubled over throwing up everything she'd eaten since the previous morning. She recalled the headaches that would put her mother in bed for days, the fatigue and shortness of breath that had her so tired she could barely move, the sudden cravings for the oddest foods and the, just as unexpected, hatred of things she'd previously loved.
She went back frantically through the previous months, her shock growing as she brought to mind experiencing every last one of those symptoms plus a few more.
No, no her mind insisted, there was just no way. She'd had her courses for Valar's sake, which meant it couldn't be true, right? Almost frantic she counted in her head. She was late for this month, granted, but she'd had them in the previous months, right? They'd been little more than a few spots here and there, and not always on a schedule, nothing like it had been in the Shire but that made perfect sense. She was in an entirely new environment; not eating normally, under intense stress, of course her monthly courses would become irregular. She'd even heard of those in the Shire, who'd experienced extreme stress, stopping their courses entirely for a time. It didn't mean anything...right?
She couldn't be pregnant. There was simply no way.
"You're lying," she stated sharply. "It isn't possible!"
"Bilba," Kili started, "you did say--"
"No!" Bilba insisted. She grabbed ahold of his shirt and locked eyes with him. "You don't understand, it's not possible! I'm a child of Eru, he's a child of Mahal! We can't have children together!"
"Indeed?" Smaug's voice broke through the borderline hysteria in her mind, breaking her away from frantically trying to find another explanation for what were now crystalizing into blatantly obvious symptoms in her mind. "And who, pray tell, told you that? For that matter," he continued blithely, "whoever told you that you were a child of Eru? He has two, Elves and Men and you are neither."
"We look like shorter versions of Men," Bilba insisted, "and our ears are pointed like Elves so we always assumed--"
"Assumed?" Kili cut in, surprised. "You don't know?"
"We--" Bilba stammered, "I mean...we had no home for the longest time. We wandered, trying to find a place. It wasn't easy; we were nearly wiped out, several times. The focus was more on survival and less on remembering where we'd come from." She shrugged, her hands tightening on his shirt. "We lost who we were and where we'd come from and had to figure it out ourselves."
"And you decided you must have been children of Eru," Smaug scoffed. "How typically arrogant of a race. Tell me, child, what does your kind value above all else?"
Bilba couldn't say for sure why she answered him, other than a deep need to prove him wrong. "Good food, parties," she whispered, "plants and trees...growing things...green things...peace."
"And who does that sound like?" Smaug mused. He shifted slightly as though uncomfortable and Bilba saw the discoloration had spread all the way back to his wings. His breathing was even more labored and, with a start, she found herself wondering if his constant movement wasn't a result of being in pain.
"You list those things and claim your Creator as Eru," Smaug commented, "when they just as well describe another."
Bilba didn't have a chance to respond to that as, beside her, Kili suddenly blurted, "Yavanna." At Bilba's questioning gaze he explained, "Yavanna, Giver of Fruits, protector of the Earth. Dwarves pay her honor as the wife of Mahal, our Creator."
"And as his wife," Smaug pondered, speaking almost as though to himself, "would it not stand to reason she might desire children of her own upon seeing those her husband had?"
His face did that horrid twisting thing again. Bilba was beginning to realize it was his version of a smile.
"Oh, Mahal," Kili whispered next to her, "the gift of Unity."
Bilba jerked sharply, pushing off him as though burned. "The what?" she ordered.
"It's an old belief of the dwarves," Kili answered, "A teaching about a gift of Mahal and Yavanna celebrating and symbolizing their union. No one knows what it is, just that it exists. There's been speculation but nothing that ever really made sense. What if--"
"You're reaching," Bilba snapped. She curled in on herself, drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her stomach grumbled and she tensed, a shiver wracking her. "It isn't true," she nearly pled, "it can't be." She wasn't pregnant.
Smaug sneered at her. The discoloration had spread past his wings and his movements were no longer as crisp as they had been before. "Do you understand now, little fool?"
"Shut up." Bilba snarled. "Why don't you just die already?"
"Soon enough," he answered, "and you will follow after, you and the ones you brought with you."
Bilba shook her head, "No. You're just trying to mess with me."
He was a dragon, playing with a person's mind was what they did. He was lying, trying to rattle her. Dying was bad enough but to make her think she'd carried children, her children, into it as well, that she'd risked them before a dragon...Valar, that she'd risked them to Azog, to spiders, that she'd leapt between trees as if the only one she endangered was herself, that'd she'd been threatened over and over again and over again...
Fear wound up her spine and she desperately shook her head again. She was a fool, who in their right mind would listen to a word a dragon said?
Beside her, Kili was still staring at her and she shook her head again. "He's a dragon," she insisted, "they lie."
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