The tunnel was narrow and, as neither Bilba nor Kili was much inclined to go first with the other following behind, they ended up walking nearly shoulder to shoulder.

They got all of fifty or so feet in before the second guessing and self-doubt set in.

What had she been thinking after all, Bilba thought? She wasn't a warrior or a strategist. She was a hobbit for Valar's sake. She'd only been gone from the Shire once before and look how THAT had gone.

She felt cold, much colder than the air in the tunnel would warrant, and she was aware her eyes were wide open as if she was going to miss something important. She had one hand clasped around Thorin's ring at her throat, twisting and turning it anxiously.

Kili walked next to her in silence and guilt burned through her again. Fili and Thorin were going to kill her for dragging him into this. The youngest member of the Company, aside from her, though she was older than him maturity wise.

Was he even considered mature by dwarven standards? He had to be, right? Thorin wouldn't have taken a child on the quest.

He took you, her mind mutinously supplied, but she brushed it off. She was mature by the standards of any culture and, in her own, was close enough it was little more than a formality. Why, just a few months before she left she'd attended the wedding of Primula and Drogo and they were both younger than she was. Then of course there was Lily Bracegirdle. She was happily married and had two children already and was also a few years younger than Bilba. Hobbits her age, though technically still in their Tweens, were so close to the end of them that they were considered, and treated, as adults in most things. Which, now that she thought about it, meant her grandfather should have turned over her money to her years ago. Before she'd left she had simply accepted him holding onto it as a sign of him being overprotective. Now, however, looking at the few times he'd ever visited, and judging the harshness of the note he'd sent her in Rivendell, she was beginning to wonder if controlling her money hadn't been his way of controlling her, something he'd never been able to do with her mother. Quite, honestly, she was beginning to wonder about a lot of things, not the least of which was why she'd never wondered, or questioned, anything before.

Bilba frowned, she'd gone off on a tangent, why was she thinking about such things again? Oh, right, age. Kili was an adult by the standards of any other culture too, she conceded, and capable of making his own choices. Right?

"I broke one of your dishes and buried it in your yard when you were asleep," Kili said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Bilba twitched in surprise. After the total silence the sudden noise sounded unnaturally loud. She frowned, turning the words around in her mind and trying, unsuccessfully, to fit them into some sort of context. Finally, failing that, she simply asked, "What?"

Kili shrugged awkwardly, a rueful grin on his lips. "I was just thinking...if this all goes wrong and we...you know--"

"Die horribly?" Bilba said dryly.

He gave her a tight smile. "Yeah. Anyway, I just thought, might as well get it off my chest."

As he spoke, Bilba looked at him, really looked at him for the first time since they'd entered the tunnel. He had an almost white knuckle grip on his bow and his shoulders were rigid.

She'd put a lot of pressure on him. If he missed his shot they would all die and he'd probably watch, at least in her case.

"I think of you and Fili as the Pretty Twins."

He blinked, his turn to be confused. "What?"

Bilba nodded sagely. "When I saw you two, and then Thorin, it made me think you must have an unnaturally pretty bloodline. I tried to imagine what a family reunion would be like. Girls would probably plan holidays around when you were all expected to come to town."

Kili snorted, the corners of his lips twitching, and ducked his head, his face coloring slightly in embarrassment. "When I was small, my mother used to dress me as a girl."

"She didn't," Bilba whispered. "Really?"

Kili nodded, smiling in remembrance. "She really wanted a daughter. No one believed I was male until I was almost fifteen years old."

"How did they find out?"

"Uncle Thorin held a big banquet for something or another and I stripped down and streaked through it." He grinned in pride. "I was confined to my room for a month but at least no one called me a girl ever again."

Bilba laughed, fighting to keep it quiet. The last thing they wanted to do was alert the dragon before they ever arrived. Under her feet she could feel the floor dipping, leading them lower. The air had grown colder as well and the only sound was the occasional drip of water into some unseen pool.

"I once pushed a boy off the roof of Bag End and he broke his leg," she supplied. "He was convinced he could fly and had tied bed sheets to his arms and legs. I was giving him a helping hand."

Kili's smile widened, his teeth white in the dim light of the tunnel. "Well, that's his fault I should think." He gave her a conspiratorial wink, "I once dumped a bucket of water on Fili just as a girl he fancied walked by. She thought he'd had an 'accident'".

"Oh, that's awful," Bilba breathed, even as her sides hurt from laughing. "Poor Fili."

"He got me back," Kili said with a shrug, his tone affectionate. "He stole some of the dye Mom was using to color a dress she'd made and turned my hair an interesting shade of green, right before I was planning to offer a courtship bead to someone." He sighed theatrically. "As can be expected I was stubborn enough to try and go ahead with it anyway. It didn't go well."

"I once tried to spy on someone I had a crush on but ended up looking through his parent's window instead." Bilba shuddered. "They were both in there."

"I can beat you on that," Kili mused. "I once walked in on my parents."

"OH!" Bilba exclaimed in horror, "you poor thing! I think I would have been traumatized for life."

Kili nodded, turning his gaze to the floor and heaving a great sigh. "I doubt I shall ever overcome that particular shock."

They lapsed back into silence after that. Ahead, Bilba noticed the tunnel beginning to look lighter. She felt her anxiety rising once more, slowing her steps. Beside her, Kili's face began to look drawn again, his features tight.

He stopped suddenly in the middle of the tunnel, his eyes fixed on the floor. "What if I screw up?"

"You won't," Bilba reassured, lamely. "I have faith in you."

"It may be misplaced," Kili whispered. She could see him struggling to draw in enough air and had a sudden worry that he was on the edge of a full blown anxiety attack. "I'm not the fighter Fili is," Kili despaired, "or the leader Uncle is."

"I've seen you in battle," Bilba insisted, her own nerves ramping up as Kili started to panic. "You saved your uncle's life when that warg nearly attacked and you fought with bravery and courage against the trolls."

"Bravery and courage," Kili muttered, his eyes fixed ahead, "words always ascribed to Uncle and Fili. You know what words get assigned to me?" A hint of bitterness crept into his voice. "Reckless, naïve, too young, sheltered." He turned his eyes to her, pleading, "What if I'm about to prove them all correct?"

She needed to distract him, Bilba thought desperately. He was working himself into such a state they'd never be able to face Smaug.

Kili had looked away from her again, his eyes locked on the area of the tunnel where it was lighter. The walls curved at that point, creating a corner that blocked their view of what lay beyond but they both knew. His hand was so tight on his bow she could actually hear the wood creaking as he gripped it. His entire body was taut, like a bowstring ready to snap, and Bilba knew if she didn't do something RIGHT THEN all would be lost.

"I slept with Thorin." She blurted out, and then instantly gasped and slapped both hands over her mouth. That was NOT WHAT SHE HAD MEANT TO SAY. She'd wanted to distract him, shock him off the dark path he'd been treading in his mind but not by saying THAT.

Eru, what had she been thinking?

A tiny glimmer of hope sparked in her mind. Maybe Kili hadn't heard her. Maybe he'd been so caught up in his own thoughts he'd missed what she'd said and she could figure out something else to say. She risked a look and saw Kili staring at her, his eyes wide and his mouth actually gaping a few inches.

He had definitely heard.

"You," he said, finally, "and.......WHEN? In Lake-town?"

"Of course not!" Bilba scoffed, wondering where he'd gotten THAT idea. "I was sick and there wasn't exactly a lot of privacy!" She waved a hand vaguely, "It was in the tunnels. Not THESE tunnels obviously, because that would be weird and kind of impossible, but you know that of course," she trailed off, before flapping her hand again, randomly. "You know, back when we were all separated." When Kili simply gave her an incredulous look she huffed and continued, "We weren't exactly thinking clearly all right? We thought everyone was dead and Thorin thought he was going to be exiled and then I said he could stay with me at Bag End and he started talking about....stuff.....and I started.....you know......talking and then....." her face went red hot and she waved her other hand as if Kili could interpret what she was saying somehow from their gestures. "Then we....started kissing and......and......it just got a little out of hand, all right?"

"A little out of hand," Kili repeated dumbly. He swore suddenly and Bilba flinched, her eyes going wide. Surely he wasn't UPSET, was he? Was there a dwarf taboo they'd broken?

Kili turned on her, "Do you have any idea what this means?" he asked, his voice aggrieved.

"No?" Bilba offered, slowly. "What does it mean?"

"It means," Kili sighed and dropped his head, his voice taking on a note of despair, "I have to sharpen all of Fili's weapons for the next two MONTHS. ALL. OF. THEM. Do you have ANY idea how many he has? And he's so PICKY about them. I'll sharpen them all and then he'll say I didn't do it well enough and make me do it all over again!"

Bilba stared at him, her own mouth gaping slightly as her mind worked through his words. "Are you....are you saying you BET on whether or not I'd slept with Thorin?"

"Of course we did!" Kili muttered, sounding quite put out. "Fili and Nori were convinced you had, though they wouldn't tell me why. I just thought they were both idiots."

"Fili," Bilba whispered in horror, "AND Nori?"

Kili nodded, still clearly annoyed though, Bilba noted vaguely, he no longer seemed on the edge of a full blown panic attack. "I'll have to help him cheat at cards the next four times we go to a tavern."

"You, Fili and Nori," Bilba repeated, "you were all betting on whether or not Thorin and I had slept together. Anyone else I should know about?"

He shrugged. "Just us."

"Just you," Bilba parroted. She turned and took a stop forward, toward the curve in the hall.

"Though I'd imagine Dwalin probably knows," Kili said from behind her. "He and Uncle have been best friends since forever so I wouldn't be surprised if he's guessed. Maybe Dori and Ori because Nori might have told them. It's possible Gloin and Bombur might know just because they're married and maybe there are signs or something they'd recognize. OH, and Balin, he was married too and he's Dwalin's brother so he may have known that way. And then Oin is Gloin's brother and they talk and Bombur is Bofur's brother and Bifur's cousin so...."

Bilba put her hands over her ears as he continued to talk and tried desperately to block him out.

She'd changed her mind. The dragon eating her had just become the BEST option. It was the only thing that could possibly save her from the humiliation of facing the rest of the Company later.

***

As it turned out the end of the tunnel was a bit farther than around the next corner. By the time they reached the actual end Kili had, thankfully, shut up about anything Bilba may or may not have said, though he still looked rather put out over having lost his precious bet. At least he was walking easier, however, and no longer had a death grip on his bow.

Without warning his hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her down to a crouch next to him. Bilba obeyed, sending him a questioning look. He held a finger up to his lips, his face serious, and nodded around the corner they'd just come up to. Bilba leaned forward, nearly on her stomach, and peered around it. The tunnel continued on for another twenty or so feet before exiting into, from what she could see from her position, was a massive room. A massive room filled with gold as far as the eye could see and she could only see a little from that vantage point.

"Kili," she hissed, as low as she could, "does Thorin know how much gold is in the treasury?"

He nodded. "He lived here," he replied in an equally quiet voice, "he knew. Even if he hadn't, it's pretty legendary."

Bilba nodded. "How exactly did he expect anyone to find the Arkenstone then?"

Kili shook his head, his own eyes wide as he took in the sheer amount of gold they could see just from that small area.

Bilba sighed and pushed to her feet, trying to ignore how badly her legs were shaking.

"Won't he smell me?" Kili said suddenly. "When I sneak in?"

"I don't know," Bilba answered honestly. "I think he'll smell dwarf on me, certainly."

Kili raised an eyebrow and Bilba felt her entire face burn. "From spending so much time around you all!" she whispered furiously. "That's what I meant and you know it!"

He smiled, just slightly. "If you say so."

Bilba rolled her eyes. "ANYWAY, he'll smell that, not to mention Erebor is a dwarven kingdom, with or without dwarves, so I'm sure the smell of them must linger even now."

As she spoke an idea niggled at the back of her mind. She frowned, turning it over and over in her head before finally coming to a decision. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring she'd taken from the tunnels back under the goblin town.

"Kili," she said slowly, "you're the smallest one in the Company next to me, aren't you?"

His eyes narrowed, annoyed, but he nodded. "Yes."

Bilba nodded. Kili wasn't the smallest height wise, he had an inch or two on his brother, but he was the smallest in terms of his frame. And if that were the case...she held the ring out to him, trying to ignore the pit in her stomach at giving it to anyone. "Here, try this on your smallest finger and see if it fits."

Kili reached out for the ring and, for a moment, Bilba tightened her grip. The ring was hers after all, why should she hand it over to anyone?

The feeling passed almost as quickly and she mentally scolded herself over her own foolishness. She let go, biting back an almost irrational flash of jealousy at the sight of the ring in Kili's hands.

He studied it, frowning. "I don't think it'll fit."

"Just try," Bilba insisted, irritated.

He frowned but obeyed her, sliding the ring on his finger. Immediately he vanished, leaving the corridor seemingly empty but for her. A second later he was back, holding the ring and studying it with a confused look. "That's odd. I could have sworn it was too small to fit but it slid right on."

"Okay," Bilba whispered, "keep it on. You can sneak up on him easier and, even if he smells you, he won't see you."

His eyes narrowed. "What about you?"

"He'll know where I am," Bilba replied, "going invisible won't change anything."

"I don't like this."

"Neither do I," Bilba said, "but it's the only way. Come on; let's get it over with."

She turned her back on him and marched forward on legs that barely held her up, sheer force of will keeping her moving until she stood in the doorway leading into the treasury.

The doorway, despite being supposedly secret, opened onto a large landing at the top of a long flight of stairs that overlooked the entire treasury. The treasury literally stretched as far as she could see in every direction, the only breaks large pillars plunging down through a veritable ocean of gold.

Whoever had come up with the original plan must have never seen the treasury, or possibly been in their right mind.

She stepped forward carefully, shutting her eyes and squeezing her hands together in front of her chest. The air in the chamber was cold and the light was dim, casting strange shadows on the walls and preventing her from seeing everything as clearly as she would have wished. Every muscle in her body was screaming at her to turn tail and run as fast as possible and her breath was so short she felt lightheaded. She reached the edge of the landing, at the top of the first step and there she paused. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm the roiling of her stomach and her erratic heartbeat.

"Smaug." Her voice came out a bare whisper and she swallowed, her throat and mouth dry as dust. She tried again but her voice cracked and she took a few moments to try and ground herself. She heard nothing from Kili and hoped he'd already moved himself into a position.

He was counting on her not to mess up. She'd dragged him into it and he was doing his part, she needed to do hers.

She drew in a deep breath, clasped Thorin's ring in both her hands, and screamed at the top of her voice, "SMAUG!"

Her voice echoed through the chamber, bouncing off the walls and pillars and repeating through the depths. When it finally faded away there was silence. The air itself seemed to grow heavier, stilled as though waiting.

Maybe Smaug was dead? Or gone somewhere? Maybe she could go back and tell Thorin and the others that no one was home?

A low rumbling started. In the distance, near a pillar, a mountain of gold began to shift, cascading down in a wave. The movement revealed something red and reptilian underneath and Bilba let loose an involuntary whimper of fear. A massive head rose into view, squared off with a blunted nose and enormous teeth. The body came next and seemed to keep coming, longer and longer until finally, finally, it tapered off into a tail that, alone, was probably enough to kill hundreds with just one swipe. An eye bigger than she was focused on her and then the entire nightmare was headed in her direction, giant, leathery wings unfurled and talons, longer than spears, drove through the coins, sending them scattering in his wake.

Bilba's entire body froze, unable to move. She felt like a rabbit caught in the gaze of a hungry fox, or a mouse in the eyes of an eagle. Nothing she'd faced before compared to this, not the trolls, not the wargs or spiders, not even Azog the Defiler.

"Well," Smaug's voice rumbled, "it has been awhile since I have seen a thief in my domain."

His voice, smooth and oddly hypnotic, was enough to stop her heart, the sound waking an almost primal instinct in her that screamed at her to run.

Bilba forced her mouth to work. "If I were a thief," she gasped, "would I have announced myself?"