I AM BAAAAACK. Yes, hi, how are you all?

~

"Oi there's our soon-to-be birthday boy!" Zayn cheered softly, throwing a wink at Louis as he stepped out of Harry's house, hearing a faint Irish bye coming from the kitchen. Louis was very happy to have someone as great as Niall (and not only because he was a fantastic cook). He was sure that the two would spend nice years together, hopefully. Helping and supporting each other like real brothers would do. He was desperate to find out everything about him. What exactly happened to him, for example. Or his favourite colour, animal, game, everything! Louis giggled but quickly bit down on the inside of his cheek. No time for being a little boy.

"Hello," Louis spoke shyly and hugged both of the boys gently. "So.. You wanna party?" Zayn smirked as Liam leaned against the raven haired boy. His hand went to squeeze Liam's bum, causing the brown haired boy to flush bright and swat at his boyfriend's hand.

"Yes! I like dancing," Louis grinned and followed the lads to Zayn's car. He was usually the one that stayed sober to take care of Liam. Louis fell sad for a second, wishing Harry would be with them but he knew it wasn't possible. It would look weird. A Teenager with an older man. Would it always stay like that? That they had to have this.. Thing in private? Secretly sneaking around, only kissing in the house and never outside. He would never have a relationship like Liam and Zayn had. And it was making Louis sad.

He didn't want to be, though, because it was the night before his birthday and everyone was only there for him so they deserved a happy Louis, right?

Louis sighed softly and fired a quick text off to Harry.

"Louis loves his daddy!!! Forever x "

He added a variety of emoticons and smiled shyly, tucking it back in his pockets as they drove. He felt like he needed to remind Harry constantly.

"Liam bought some alcohol.. You wanna drink Lou? Not get drunk but.. A little funny, eh?" Zayn grinned and raised an eyebrow up at the back mirror, looking at an unsure looking Louis. Louis knew he promised Harry not to drink. But he was turning eighteen right? What about breaking the rules? Yet, Louis did never want to break a promise he made his daddy. He never wanted to disappoint his daddy.

"A beer will be okay hm?" Jess smiled and patted Louis' thigh who blushed and nodded slowly. He loved that when sometimes he was overwhelmed with deciding anything for him, Jess was there when Harry wasn't. Usually Harry decided for Louis, making him all floaty when they did the fun stuff. That's what he loved when it came to sex between the two of them. He didn't need to think. Harry knew what he liked and Harry just did it, being Louis' dominant partner. Tugging his hair, having a hand around the younger boys throat, squeezing lightly but not too hard just the way Louis liked it. To make him understand that Harry owned Louis. And the younger boy loved it.

The brown haired boy took a slow inhale and bit down on his lower lip. What could possible go wrong?

30 minutes and a lot of beer cans later, they found a parking spot outside the club. "Zorro?" Louis squinted his eyes at the name sign of the club that was shining brightly against the darkness of the night.

"Yeah, man. Best club ever, you're gonna love it in there!" Zayn grinned and turned the engine off before he turned in his seat.

"So we bought sparklers .. We're so cute aren't we," Zayn smiled and Jess rolled her eyes. Louis blushed. "Yes romantic idiots, now hand me one." Jess chuckled and took one of them in her hand before turning back to Louis.

"They only let people in there who are 18. Or just turned 18, in fact" she grinned widely, showing off a row of perfect straight teeth. Louis nodded slowly and cleared his throat. He felt little, often. Not only because he was the youngest in the group. But he didn't know so many things that were pretty normal to his friends. They did nothing wrong, Louis just felt like an outsider sometimes. But he also knew that he was always going to be different. A boy who grew up alone in the woods couldn't be the same as a child who grew up with both his parents caring about him.

Louis swallowed harshly, flicking his eyes up to his friends and felt his tummy tingle lightly.

He reached out for one himself while Zayn handed Liam a sparkler and then they all got out into the freezing cold.

"geez, even though December means presents, I fucking hate the month, it's so cold," Zayn muttered, having Liam snuggle up to his side in a matter of seconds. Adorable. Louis wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, chewing slowly on his lower lip while the guys started to count down. The sparklers glowed a pretty white colour and Louis was happy, yet someone missed. Harry would always miss. But he would see him later so everything was going to be fine, right?

His train of thought was interrupted as everyone squealed "Happy Birthday!!" and hugged the feathery haired boy tightly, kissing his cheeks. "Of course we all have presents for ya but that will have to wait till later. We wouldn't want to miss your face when you open our present," Zayn smirked and raised an eyebrow up at Louis. Liam, next to him, just grinned like a dork, knowing very well what would be in the wrapping paper.

"One word. Disgusting," Jess flicked them off and took Louis' hand, pulling him towards the queue in front of the club. "What is disgusting?" Louis bit down on his lip, glancing down at the way Jess was holding his hand. He missed Harry, already. And he felt stupid for it. He was turning 18 and that means that he should be able to take care of himself.

"The boys.. You don't wanna know what they're getting for you," she chuckled and smiled brightly at Louis. "Don't worry though, I have something very pretty for you, you're going to love it," she winked and fell silent as the two idiots came back, Liam snuggling happily to Zayn, who still had that stupid smirk lingering on his face. Jess rolled her eyes.

Louis shoved his hands in his pockets and bit his lip as he stared down. He was 18. He wondered what would lay ahead of him. How would his life going to turn out? Would it be with Harry? Niall? Without them? Louis was scared. He didn't want to age, felt like it was his fault that his daddy seemed to be so worried.

What if Louis grew up too fast? Harry liked him little, right? So what would happen if Louis got older with the years passing by? Daddy would look for a new boy, someone who maybe was normal. More normal than Louis was. The thought brought sudden tears to his eyes, the alcohol only confusing him more, making his emotions even stronger. He shouldn't have drank the beer in the first place. It wasn't a lot but it was enough that Louis felt it in his head.

Louis faintly listened to his friend talking, faintly felt Jess patting his back but he was zooming out. Fear nagged on him like in earlier times where he was alone. Maybe he was better when he was alone. Louis took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to think anymore.

Once inside, Louis was overwhelmed. He held a water in his hand, whimpering a little at the beat that was vibrating through his body. It was weird, too loud, too many people in here. His nostrils flared and he fished his phone out, glancing down at the display. Harry didn't message him. Daddy didn't answer.

Louis felt panic rise inside of him, making his heart beat quicker. Liam and Zayn were dancing and so was Jess, next to him. He watched the couple for a while, watched the way Zayn's hand roamed Liam's back, fisting his shirt before they came to a rest above Liam's bum. They reminded Louis of Daddy and him. Despite the fact that they were never able to do this.

Louis blinked slowly and glanced back down at his phone.

Nothing.

He didn't understand.

~

An hour into partying, Liam and Zayn were totally gone into the two of them, yet Jess was still trying to cheer Louis up. Or at least get him to dance.

Louis cheeks heated up and he bit down on his lip, hard. He felt like crying, really. It all didn't make sense in his head anymore but he mustered a smile up, keeping it, wearing it like a mask on his face.

"I have to pee," he yelled over the music, glancing at Jess who only furrowed her brows and leaned closer. Louis whined and put his hands above his bladder, raising an eyebrow and nodded over to the toilets. Now she got it.

She smiled widely and nodded quickly. Louis somehow felt the need to kiss her cheek before he rushed off to the toilets, getting into a cabin and sat down on the closed lid.

Louis' sorry.

He added a little heart to the message before he fired it up and then left the phone in his stall, opening the window behind him before he clumsily climbed out. He didn't really feel the cold as tears started to flow finally, streaming down his face.

~

"Where is Louis," Jess was starting to panic. Louis has been gone for a little over five minutes and she was supposed to look after him. She repeatedly glanced at the entrance of the toilets, waiting. Louis didn't come.

She went over after a while then, rushing through the door and hearing several grunts and yells from the fellas in there but didn't care, "oh shut up you fuckers, I won't glance at your tiny pricks, don't panic, little girls," she rolled her eyes and chewed on her lip slowly. Louis wasn't there as well.

She stumbled back out again, heading to look for Zayn and Liam who were busy with snogging. Jess felt angry all of a sudden. Haven't they had something better to do than eating each other up? She grit her teeth together, tugging them out of the club so she didn't have to scream her voice out.

"We have a huge fucking problem, guys." She raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?" Liam blinked and turned to her.

"Louis' gone and we better go look for him, right now or we will all be screwed."

"C'mon on, Jess, you need to chill. He's probably hiding in a corner, making out with someone, what's the deal?" Zayn bit down on his lip, not really getting it.

"Zayn, you're such an ass. He went for the loo and didn't come back. What if something happened to him?" She started to shook her head and ran a hand through he hair.

"Jess. He's probably in there looking for us because you didn't see him exit the toilets. He's small and quick." Zayn raised an eyebrow back and sighed.

"We'll look for him together. He can't be gone, why would he?"

~

Jess' hand was shaking.

She was responsible for Louis, she only had one duty. To keep an eye on Louis. And now he was gone.

It was something around 3 ish in the morning as she rang the bell.

A tired Harry opened the door, bags prominent under his eyes. He wasn't able to sleep, one could easily tell.

"What happened," he mumbled, voice low and deep.

"Louis' is gone.."