(Devon's POV)

Have you ever looked at someone, for the first time in along time, and thought, 'I still love you.'? Because I do. But, is that someone with somebody else? Because if not, then at least you have a higher chance at winning them back.

I don't even know if she still loves me anymore. But I know that I still love her. I always will, no doubt about it.

This tour, it will be hard. I mean, I have to look at Jamie holding her. Kissing her. Cuddling her. Making her laugh and blush. When that should be me. Me doing those things. Not Jamie, only me

I can't help but feel jealous. I can't help but feel angry.

3 years. 3 years and these feelings still haven't gone away. I've tried and tried to move on, but nothing worked. I guess I'll always still have feelings for her. Even if she wont be mine, I'll always love her.

I sigh and close my journal, putting it under my pillow.

Yes, I still write in that stupid thing. I get up out of my bunk, wearing a tank-top and sweatpants. I quickly throw on a hoodie over my tank-top.

As I pass Alex's bunk, I catch a glimpse of something familiar. I stop and look at it.

My hoodie. My black, old, hoodie.

I smile to myself as I walk into the lounge, my phone in my hand. My smile is immediately erased at the sight. Alex on top of Jamie. Kissing. Tongue on tongue.

I drop my phone on the floor, causing them to stop. Alex looks up at me with wide eyes.

"E-uh-sorry." I mumble, bending down to pick up my phone. I swallow the lump in my throat, blinking away the tears.

I bite my lip as I rush out of the room. As I'm practically running to the back of the room, I bump into someone- Skylar.

"Hey hey hey? What's wrong?" Skylar asks me, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"I walked in..on them kissing.." I mumble, moving past Skylar.

I run a hand through my hair as I sit down.

Don't cry. Don't cry. I've been through this before. We're not even together, so why is it bothering me? Is it because I still love her? Probably.

But I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm okay.

I take a deep breath and stand up. I put my hands in my pockets as I walk out. I walk to back into the living room, hoping they're done making out.

And they are. They're just sitting on the couch, along with everyone else.

Everyone is wearing hoodies..even though it's like, hot outside. It is cold on the bus, though. They need to fix that.

Song lyrics then pop into my head.

"I got it!" I shout, causing all of them to look at me. "Sorry, song idea." I go to my bunk and grab my notebook and pen. I then go back to the couch, sitting down next to Skylar.

Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby you're the best

That's all I have. Fuck. Think...think..

Oh! I remember Alex wearing a red dress one night, dancing in the dark pale moonlight..

I got my red dress on tonight

Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight

Got my hair up real big beauty queen style

High heels off, I'm feeling alive

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above all sizzlin' like your stare

Honey I'm on fire I feel it everywhere

Nothing scares me anymore

Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby you're the best

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness

Summertime, summertime sadness

Got that summertime, summertime sadness

Oh, oh

I'm feelin' electric tonight

Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99

Got my bad baby by my heavenly side

Oh if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above all sizzlin' like your stare

Honey I'm on fire I feel it everywhere

Nothing scares me anymore

Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby you're the best

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness

Summertime, summertime sadness

Got that summertime, summertime sadness

Oh, oh

I think I'll miss you forever

Like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies

Late is better than never

Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive, drive

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness

Summertime, summertime sadness

Got that summertime, summertime sadness

Oh, oh

Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby you're the best

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness

Summertime, summertime sadness

Got that summertime, summertime sadness

Oh, oh

"Andd done!" I quietly say to myself.

Skylar peers over my shoulder just as I close it.

"Nope! Sorry!" I smile at her. Skylar pouts and grabs her phone. I put it in my secret spot in my suitcase, zipping it up.

I walk back and sit next to Skylar, who is Face Timing someone.

"-Devon?" I look at her phone to see Kai.

"Hey!" I smile at her.

"Dude! Your hair..are those, tattoos?" Kai asks, squinting.

"Yeah! Like em'?" I ask her.

"Like them? I love them. Hey, Em!" Kai shouts. Emily then comes into view.

"Ye-Devon!" Emily grins.

"Hey." I take Skylar's phone, who glares at me.

"You look legit!" Emily compliments.

"So do you," I say back. "How you doing?"

She knows what I'm talking about.

"I'm great! I haven't done it since I met you! So 3 years clean." Emily smiles widely.

"That's awesome, that's-that's fantastic, Emily!"

"Yeah, I also have a girlfriend!"

"Girlfriend?" I raise an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Yeah, she's here right now. Reagan!" Emily shouts.

"Whaat?" The girl- Reagan, comes into view.

Reagan's eyes widen once she sees me.

"Holy shit! You know Devon fucking Swift!" Reagan shouts, causing Emily to giggle.

I smile at the two of them. They're cute together.

"Yeah," I sigh. "And if you hurt Emily, I swear to god.." I threaten, causing Reagan to nod.

"Never ever would I hurt her. She's too beautiful to hurt, extraordinary in fact, perfect." Reagan proudly says.

I look down. Those words. I said those words to Alex. Kinda'.

Alex's head snaps up when she hears those words. I make eye contact with her before looking back at the phone.

"..Good." I mumble, handing the phone back to Skylar, who eyes me. I give her the, 'I'll tell you later look', which she nods to.

She then goes back to talking to Kai, leaving me alone while everyone else talks.

Extraordinary, beautiful, gorgeous, and perfect.