I'll always be there to support Chris through whatever he needs, right now he needs somebody to be there for him emotionally and spiritually. If that means I need to fully let go of this grudge I been holding on to so I can be sincere with my feelings then so be it. Making him feel better at the end of the day, reassuring him that everything is fine and the world isn't out for him. Whether I want to say it or not Chris is my man. I will be there to pick up the pieces through rain, snow, sleet, and hail. Sometimes I wish Chris didn't do half the shit he's done cause this situation probably wouldn't have happened if Chris had self control and maybe some common sense, but can't turn back the hands of time you just move forward.

"You okay?" Chris asked as I laid in bed.

"A little, my stomach is bothering me. Something just feels off.

"You want to go to the hospital?"

"No, it's probably just something else I'll be fine."

"You positive?"

"I'll let you know."

"Times like this, I know you don't want to hear it but I just want to smoke the biggest blunt ever right now."

I laughed. "It's cool cause right now I wish I could just go out and have a drink, the struggles man!" The baby must not have liked I said that cause I felt it kicking me. "You feel that?" I said grabbing his hand.

"No what, it's kicking?"

"Right here, first time I've felt it moving around." I deepened his hand into my belly.

"We never talked about names."

"You can name this one. If it's a girl, I think she should have your moms name in the middle. If it's a boy, I was thinking Milano it's kind of cute to me."

"If it's a boy I think he should be named after your dad, honestly."

I rolled over to look at him. "That's big of you, he would really like that you suggested that."

"I know it would mean a lot to you."

I haven't talked or seen my dad since that night he came over here, basically starting my shit. I love him so much but he's just going to have to respect my choices, you may not like him but he can at least tolerate Chris for me. I really wish he wasn't being so difficult cause I really could use him right now, I need to know what needs done through times like this.

"That's really sweet of you, but I want to decide on something together. Maybe we'll settle on having that as the middle name, I want something that would mean something to you! It's our baby not his."

"Won't matter anyway, kid probably won't even see me around. I could be facing jail or some shit."

"Don't talk like that, you not going no damn where. You going to keep your high yella ass in this house and raise these kids."

He laughed. "Babe your lighter than me, how the hell am I the high yellow one?"

I laughed, "I missed talking to you like this."

He snuggled closer to me, "I missed you too."

To be honest I'm afraid of what's going to happen next for him, last time he was going through something like this I felt like I was losing him. At the time he was only just a friend, but to each other with the sex involved we were emotionally attached to each other. I didn't like how I barely saw him anymore, I didn't like how he was picking up the bottle or weed instead of the phone to call me. I don't want him to use that shit for an escape, I don't want him to be gone all hours of the night, especially don't want to see that change in his personality.

"Mijo what do you want to eat?"

"Chinese food!"

"I can't cook Chinese food, I want to cook for my little man."

"Oh okay, surprise me." He said coloring at the table.

"You messed up there, you better eat it too boy!" Chris said walking towards me.

I smiled as I held onto my stomach. For a while my stomach just been feeling pressure. I stopped for a minute leaning against the counter.

"You alright?" Chris said putting his hand on my back.

I took a breather, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure cause we can -." He about to say but I pushed right by him to run to the bathroom to throw my lungs up.

"You scaring me, do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I felt this with Mijo. I'm just a little nauseous, I'll be okay."

"Go to lay down, I got Mijo."

Dinner was plain and simple, cheeseburgers, mixed vegetables, and dinosaur shaped French fries. Mijo and I went out together to the store to try and find something that would make Brielle feel better, I ordered her half a sub and chowder soup from Panera. I set it the kitchen cause I didn't want the tuna lighting up the room. I set Mijo up in the living room with Tom and Jerry while I went downstairs to vent. Did a little writing and drawing but it just wasn't enough, I picked up the pen and sketched some more deciding not to smoke a blunt knowing I could really use that shit right now but I just continued on.

"Daddy, what you doing?" Mijo asked coming down the stairs.

"Mijo what did I tell you about them stairs?"

"I was real careful daddy."

"Come here let me talk to you." I said picking him up into my lap.

"What?"

"Don't what me, you say yes daddy! That fall must've knocked your sense out."

"Yes daddy." He said playing with his hands.

"Look at me, l want to apologize to you for something that I never should have said about you."

"What did you say daddy?"

"A very bad thing that I wish I can take back that will always burn now in the back of my mind. It's got me feeling like the worse daddy in the world, I'm sorry."

"But you not, your my daddy and that's the best there is."

"Thank you man, that means a lot to me. Daddy is going to make mistakes and some how some way they will get corrected in time. I love you man."

"I know."

"Your my son, my first born at that. Which makes you very special to me. You forgive me?"

"Yep."

"Thank you, give me a big tight hug then. I love you so much!" I said holding him tight.

"I love you too daddy, can I help you draw?"

"Sure, draw me a picture so I can put it on the fridge."

After he drew me a picture he cradled himself into the nook of my arms as I drew, I was drawing a self portrait of him. He was fascinated by it and didn't move a muscle, just watched my hand movements and his face appear on paper. He fell asleep watching me, I faced him up towards me just to look at him. I love him. I was thinking about when he was born he was so tiny, I remember the first time he looked up at me and I Love You Daddy, nothing is more greater than that. That's my son, Mijo Christopher Maurice Brown!

_________

Just a reminder

If you are reading Poetic Justice and didn't know this was a sequel stop reading and go read Free Run . There would be no Poetic Justice without Free Run .