First time for everything, I never felt this much pain before from being lied to and deceived. Guess it don't matter how close you are to somebody. Any fucking body can hurt you all the same! What hurts the most is he thought he could get away with it, figured I was never going to find out. I'm not going to put the blame on myself saying if I couldn't satisfy him then why couldn't he just tell me, no!

Chris knew exactly the outcome of his actions would be, I don't want to listen to shit you have to say the truth is in the text. I didn't bother to read it all of it. Everything I needed to see was displayed in the first couple of messages, I always knew for a fact that, what men don't get at home they always go searching for someone who will give them what they need. Guess since I wasn't sucking his dick he found somebody to fulfill that position for him, I wasn't having sex with him when he needed it so he found somebody that would gladly fulfill that position for him. No this is unforgiveable, I'm not doing this he's a liar and a cheat I don't what him anymore. I'm done, he fucked up!

"Ryan, I'm sorry if I'm boring you I appreciate you having me over I really needed the company.

"Nah, you good. I'm here for you if you want to talk about it all night."

I cried. "This is just so hard for me, I don't understand why he would do some shit like this? I need a guys perspective."

Ryan reach over and wiped a tear that sat on my cheek. "It's okay . . . I mean I can't really say it is but you'll make it through this, the pain only last if you let."

"I don't know what to do now!"

"You need to ask yourself what is it that you want to do! How does Brielle want to move forward?"

"I damn sure don't want to talk to him again but I have to now because of Mijo. I don't know how to move on? You don't understand he was my first everything, he is my everything. How do you move on from something so special like that?"

"Chris isn't the only guy out there for you, you think your the only person in the world whose been cheated on by a guy who was your first everything? Women go through this shit everyday, but the difference is your stronger than the rest of them and you know this. You deserve so much more than what you've been getting and you will find somebody who is going to give it to you that and more, but right now you need to focus on Brielle and Mijo and them two only."

I smiled, "My baby is always priority number one."

He smiled back. "And he should be, things happen for a reason. Soon you'll realize after everything is done and over with you cried for nothing, if he was a real man he would've been real with you from the jump. Now I don't want to see another tear come out your eyes, don't give him the satisfaction."

"I'll try."

"No, I want to hear I won't."

"I can't promise I will," I smiled slightly.

"I see you hard headed, now say you won't!" He said beginning to tickle me.

"I won't! I won't " I laughed squirming around.

I laughed my way into his arms, I felt secure and wanted a feeling I've been longing for a minute now.

"I'm not making uncomfortable am I?" He asked softly.

I smiled at the thought of his consideration. "No, I'm okay, for now I would've been threatened you."

We stayed in that same position all night till morning actually, I didn't mean to sleep over his house but I just felt so comfortable I didn't want to leave. When morning came though I had no choice but to leave cause he had to go to work, he invited Mijo and I back over for dinner tonight. It couldn't do much harm and at least I was doing something with my time. After work I showered and cleaned up Mijo before we headed over to Ryan's house.

"Baby guess who we're going to see tonight." I said driving on the highway

"Daddy!" His face lit up with excitement.

"No baby, Kataleah! Didn't you like playing with her?"

"But I want to see my daddy, I miss him! Why won't you let me see him, why isn't he coming back?"

"We'll see him soon, daddy is busy."

"You said that before momma, he can't be that busy!"

"I promise you, we'll see him as soon as we can."

I sighed gripping on to the steering wheel, I know I'm not the only one hurting but I can't see him right now. Chris needs to suffer just like I am, you got to play the game right in order to win.

"What's up Mijo, you remember me?" Ryan asked greeting him

"Yes," Mijo said hugging on to my leg.

"He's little upset."

"Aight, I think we can fix that." Ryan said bending down to Mijo's level. "You like ice cream little man?" Ryan asked him as he shook his head yes. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"Chocolate," Mijo said loosening up his grip from my leg,

"Well after dinner I'm going to give you a big bowl of Rocky Road, if it's okay with my mommy. Would you like that?" Ryan asked as Mijo shook his head yes again.

Mijo went into the back with Kataleah as I went into the kitchen with Ryan.

"Smells good, what's in the pot?"

"Gumbo, passed down from generation to generation."

I smiled. "What, you actually know how to cook? I was honestly expecting some store bought food."

"You better act like you know then, I got a kid. That fast food junk can only go for so long, my father actually taught me how to cook. He wanted to be a chef, he actually won my mother over with this recipe. It was a bet that he, if he made her dinner and if she like it, she had to go out with him."

I smiled "Aww that's cute, what's your ethnicity!"

"African American, and you ?"

I smiled "Puerto Rican, don't pretend like you blind!"

"Ah, Boricua in the building. Okay!" Ryan smiled.

I laughed, "You already know."

"Mijo allergic to anything?"

"No."

"Good cause I'm throwing everything in here, shrimp as well."

As Ryan continued to cook, I went over to sit on his couch.

"No you don't!" I blurted🙏🏼.

"Excuse me?" He replied.

"No you don't have Madden 2013 sitting right here unopened!" I said holding the game up to him.

He smiled. "Honestly I bought it and don't even know how to play anymore, I haven't played a Madden game since 04'. We can play it if you want, that's if you even know how to really play."

"Watch, you going to wish you never said that I'm about to embarrass you." I smiled as he walked over to sit beside me.

He laughed. "Shit just because I haven't played in a minute doesn't mean it won't kick back in, I might teach you a thing or two!"

I laughed as he grabbed the second controller and started up the game up, it was a score of 32 - 21 obviously I got that win. We finished just in time for dinner, I was feeling pretty good till Mijo open his mouth.

"This really good, I might have to steal this from you." I said indulging in the plate.

"It's not too spicy for you Mijo?" Ryan asked but Mijo didn't speak.

"Mijo, he asked you a question." I said

"Are you my new daddy?"

As soon as he said that I damn near chocked on my food. "Mijo !" I said clearing my throat.

"It's alright, no I'm not. I'm just your mommy's friend."

"Are you going to marry my daddy?" Kataleah asked with glassy eyes.

I chocked again, "No sweetie not even close!

Kataleah stood up and pushed her plate off the table. "Good, cause I don't want a new mommy I want my old one back!" Kataleah ran away to her room.

"Maybe we should go."

"Please don't, I'm sorry. Just let me clean this up and I'll talk to her."

"May I?"

Ryan gave me the green light to talk to her, it was just my natural instincts as a mother and nurse to comfort her.

"Are you okay sweetie?" I asked sitting beside her as she had her face down in the pillows.

"I'm sorry, I just want to see my mommy."

"Where is she?" I asked patting her head.

"I don't know, I miss her and I want my daddy and mommy to be together."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not trying to take her place if that's what you think. When is the last time you saw her?"

"I don't remember, it was a long time ago. If you see her can you tell her to see me?" She said lifting her head up showcasing her big glassy eyes.

"I will," I said instilling hope inside her even though I don't even know my mother. "Come on, you should go apologize to your daddy too!"

We finished dinner and still had our ice cream even managed to have a good time, but it was time to get Mijo in the bed."

"Thanks for tonight, I really needed it."

"Anytime, if you still need to talk I'm here."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Alright, for Mijo I'll try to work something out with Chris soon. Why he would all a sudden feel the need to say something like that I don't know, maybe I shouldn't bring him over when I come to visit.

With Chris I just don't want to have anything to do with him. I gave it a couple of days before I allowed Mijo to talk to Chris, seeing him just isn't in the works for me right now.

"Hi daddy!" Mijo said in excitement.

"What's up man, I missed you."

"I missed you too daddy, why you not here with mommy?"

"Cause something came up, I'm sorry man."

"Me too."

"Why you sound so sad?"

"Cause I wanna play with you daddy, I want to be with you."

"I'll come play with you soon, I promise. Is mommy around?"

"Yeah, she's right here. Hold on daddy, mommy why are you crying?"

I was getting emotional at the sound of Mijo's voice, I don't like this shit. I can't sit here and listen to my baby sound so sad because his father is a fuck up.

"Mijo, talk to your daddy or hang up the phone." I said wiping my eyes sniffling.

"Don't hang up yet, Mijo put the phone in mommy's hand."

I took the phone and hung up regardless "Daddy? Daddy? Mommy why you do that, I didn't say bye bye!"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Too late, you'll talk to him later."

"No, I want him now!"

"Don't raise your voice, unless you want to go to sleep!"

"I want my daddy, mommy I want him now. Please mommy, please mommy."

"Mijo, be quiet!" I shouted in aggravation.

He was startled when I shouted and jumped a bit like he seen a ghost, he threw himself off the bed causing a loud thump when he hit the floor. He cried, yelled, and screamed at the top of his lungs, everything he as doing was tearing me down inside and making me weak. Mijo cried for hours and wouldn't stop, finally I broke down and let him see Chris for five minutes just to play with him and rock him to sleep.

"Thank you for bringing him."

"I didn't do it for you, he wouldn't stop crying I did it for him. I don't want him to know what's going on thinking we have problems, so don't say anything about it to him."

Chris sat on the couch with Mijo cradled in arms asleep. "Brielle, you know me. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, I never will. I didn't want you to find out this way."

"Looks like you didn't want me to find out at all." I said sitting in a chair across the room from him, not making any eye contact.

"I did baby, I really did but I was afraid. I didn't cheat on you Brielle, I tried to get you to go to that party so I had nothing to hide. Janae brought me back to her place, I was extremely drunk that I couldn't even function. I literally sat on her couch for 2 minutes, I dosed off and next think I know she's sucking my dick." He said, as he went on I cringed cause I didn't want to hear it. I was getting pissed off. "I could have killed myself, but I risked my life to get the fuck out of there cause I was not about to stay there. With Jasmine you have to believe me babe I was forced to do it, she said if I didn't she was going to expose me after I wasn't falling for that she said she was going to pen rape on me ." Chris explained.

"Give me him, I'm leaving."

"Why? Brielle, I'm trying to explain."

I was fighting back the tears, I didn't want to give him satisfaction. "Give me him, I said I'm leaving! I don't want to listen to this shit anymore, you're a fucking dick I can't stand to look at you right now!" I said picking him up from out of his arms.

"I'm not lying to you, why would I continue lying now?"

"It's what you do!" I said leaving out placing Mijo in his seat.

"I love you Brielle, I wouldn't do this shit and you know it!" Chris said in a serious tone.

"Love should have brought your ass home that night!"