Never take the word of a man, something my daddy always told me and now I see why. A boy does what he's told to do, men do what they have to do. Boys shack up, men build homes. No wonder why I been feeling like this thing he calls a home is nothing but a temporary cheap plywood and tape waiting to fall to pieces. Guys have this thing about them where they use manipulation to the fullest, females do it to but guys have just way at pushing that button that will make us believe every damn thing they say even when we know it's a lie. Everyone of us want to feel loved by the opposite sex but there's a fine line between love and stupidity. We all play the fool sometimes but I'm nobodies damn fool.

Chris told me that he wanted to be there for us and make this into a family, that's the lie all men tell when their girl is pregnant . It drives me crazy when I see any female going though the motions with her baby father. We're left with broken promises and sold dreams that everything is going to be fine. Not enough credit is given for us going through this alone, we're judged and told we should've kept our legs closed. Yelled and cursed out about not getting an abortion. Thrown to the side with so much of a sorry, after he moves on to the next chick. Flaunting her right in front of our faces at time.

What type of shit is that? Please wake up, stop going for these sorry ass niggas. They tear us down, but come crawling back sometimes. Shit don't make no damn sense. Chris wasn't all that bad and he was there for me. It's easier for him to be, not only is he financially set but we were old enough to know what the hell we were doing. But all those young ass girls out there who think they ass is grown don't know shit, don't grow up before your time. Trust don't believe in the hype, a baby doesn't make a boy grow into a man.

There was times when Mijo was only a few weeks old and I didn't see Chris for days. Without any explanation of his whereabouts I sat in the house. Mijo cried for something and I'm trying desperately to do anything to get him to stop, just so I could get a few minutes of sleep. You think this shit is easy but that's the reality of motherhood.

Women came out the wood works of reports of being linked to Chris, that Rihanna shit is still lingering around, I heard him being with Jasmine Sanders for a while. Endless reports of him being with this bitch to the next bitch. I even started taking a liking to Jasmine before, we started of as friends. She's a beautiful girl but I saw how damn cozy she was with Chris, so I had to back off to keep a close eye on that ass. I'm sure I ran my mouth about this before. It's always the ones you never expect to do sneaky shit! Oh yeah that about part of my definition, that bitch a sneaky hoe!

I would've thought I lost my sanity by now because I feel alone in this. In the past twenty-four years of living I never had a real friend to hear my side of things. Nobody to kick it with, but that changed real quick after I moved in with Chris. I befriended someone I thought I would never even talk to. I've learned not to judge people based off appearance, I've always given people a chance. How else did I survive with Jocelyn so long? This chick and I are complete opposites but yet still co – sign with each other. Looking at her without knowing her personally you would've thought that she was a nasty hoe. She's nothing like that though, I just love that she has that mile high confidence. Many know her as Blac Chyna but I know her as, Angela. Since Chris and Tyga are continuing to work on Fan Of a Fan 2 we spent a lot of time together. Ever since then she's been the realest and closet thing to me.

"Damn, you are killing me with this ass though! Every time I see you I just want to pounce on it, it's too damn tempting not to touch ." I said feeling on those cheeks.

Chyna laughed. "Go head, it never stopped you before from getting a couple of slaps in!"

"If I had me a big ol' ghetto booty like that, I would have anything to worry about. I'm sure Michael be putting in work every night."

She smiled, "Girl you ain't ever lied! You already know he is, we almost made another King the other night."

"How is my little baby doing?"

"Spending time with his daddy, thank god too his little ass is wearing me out tearing up the house and shit I need a break . How's my Puerto Rican Prince?" Chyna referred to Mijo.

"Good with his bad self, he's about to get into them terrible two I might have to break out the belt early. You coming to his party right?"

"Along with my mini date, why would I miss seeing my little man? But enough about that, let me know what's going with you and Chris!" Chyna went into the cabinets to hand me some Chardonnay.

"Ain't shit going on with us, he's just Chris what else is there to say about him?"

"He taken care of his responsibility?"

"With Mijo? Of course, that nigga ain't stupid."

"Not with him, you! By now I thought I would've seen some type of commitment but y'all asses ain't even together, yet you wanna play house. I never thought that you would have that much trust in him." Chyna said beginning to pour into some wine glasses.

"We have our moments, he tells me that he's trying and he loves me and other shit like that so yeah I trust him enough."

"Listen boo, you're a baby in this new lifestyle. You think you know it all, but you don't. You blind as fuck right now, not to scare you. But you may think he's being honest with you, but his ass most likely lies every time he comes home to you. But why should you care? Like I said y'all asses ain't even together, so what's the point in pretending? Why don't you go find a man who wants to put a rock on your finger!" Chyna showed off her hand, exposing her engagement ring.

"I'm not pretending, you don't understand the circumstances though. I known this nigga my whole life I always been there for him. Through snow, sleet, hail, sickness you name it my ass was there and he's been the same way. The problem is all we used to do was fuck around with each, we were never together. I would like to wake up to him everyday and say the words I love you and actually fucking mean them. I would like to believe when he talks to me saying how much he loves me and wants to be a family but I can't. Right now I don't hear nothing but bullshit! He has yet to tell me I want you and nobody else, he has yet tell me that he want to be with me. I want a relationship but not if the shit is fake."

"Okay so what, you fucked your best friend, now you're too afraid to be the one who gives in first saying what's real. I heard the stories about you and him, you told me time and time before. If I was you his ass would've been got the memo, nigga either you with me or you leave me alone."

I laughed. "Trust me I know the game, I been schooled on it enough. But I been pulling back taking it easy, I know how to get his ass moving. It's just that feelings are in stake."

"Well let me tell you something that my momma used to say to me. I know damn well you know it too it's some shit you like to read.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard."

"Yes honey, that's my shit !" I said as we continued together in unison.

"You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise ."

"What you know about some Maya Angelou ?" I said with a smile.

"I been hanging out with your ass too much." She laughed.

"Where's little Mijo?" Jasmine asked.

"I had to drop him off at my moms house, Brielle would kick my ass if I brought him over here you know how it is."

"Awe, I really wanted to see him."

"Here, I think I got a picture on my phone."

"Awe, he's going to be a heart breaker like this daddy. Damn look at his eyes, he looks like he could be my son more than he could be yours!" She laughed.

See I'm not the only one that thinks this shit too, I could sound so dumb right now but an ounce of me thinks that Mijo isn't mine. This doubt kills me slowly inside everyday because I know Brielle wouldn't do some shit like that. While she way away in college though she was messing around with that ol' college boy I'm sure, I would be a dick if I bring it up to her but you never know.

"You hungry?" Jasmine asked.

"Nah, I'm good."

"So what was so urgent that you needed to come over here and talk to me?"

"I'm running out of options, I feel bad because I know I'm playing her out by not taking her seriously but I'm not done doing me. I thought I was."

"Well if you ask me I think that you better find out what you want before you lose out on something good."

"But I gave her that opportunity and she didn't want to take it, now it's my turn to fuck around and take my time."

"Sounds like instead of taking the steps you need to fix it, you're being passive aggressive. You told her how things should be, my guess is she didn't accept it so now you're acting out."

"It's always my fault right? I'm the one to blame for this shit right?"

Jasmine sat next to me on the couch, placing one arm around my shoulder and had her hand resting on my arm. "Chris I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm being real with you because I see how bad you need someone right now. Nobody is judging you or trying to put blame on you. Maybe you should spend some time apart from each other, it gives you the time out in the relationship to get a free pass and do whatever you two want. Or at least be able to miss her."

"I don't know, that shit kind of sound like cheating."

She smiled. "You guys aren't together to begin with right? So I don't think it matters.

_________________

With this Jasmine character, I might change her up a bit. What I'm thinking is just using Rita Ora pictures because she has more pictures with Chris. I like to use certain pictures sometimes to illustrate the scene or emotion of the character. So if I do and you see Rita Ora instead of Jasmine Sanders, I already know the difference between the two females. Thank You !