If time had a reverse button the world wouldn't have chased after it so mercilessly. There was never enough time and when time looked like it had slowed down, it was always only to fool those who wanted some moments to last forever and never pass by, like the hours when an entire bottle of pills simmered away inside the body that Jimin held in his arms. Time was an illusion, and there was never turning away from what waited at the end. It was inevitable.

A sound from the end of the room made Jimin's head jerk up from the soft cushion. He half opened his lids and his forehead wrinkled in confusion, first at Yoongi who struggled to drag his oxygen cart into the semi-dark room with the wheels stuck in place, and second at the head nestled against his chest.

He looked down in panic, only to realize it was a real person and when he looked up at Yoongi again with his sleepy confusion, he saw the younger had removed his oxygen tube from around his face and was headed to the bathroom without noticing that Jimin had company on the couch.

Jimin subtly heard him murmur something about a cloudy sky and won't be able to see the sunrise anyway and a wire got stuck in the wheels and had to drag it all the way.

Jimin looked down again and gently pushed himself away from the figure while moving her head sideways to look at her face.

"Kazimir?" He was able to recognize her even through the darkness and his confusion but reality slapped him awake right away.

"What the-" he exclaimed, pushing himself on the palms of his hands, away from the trail of blood from her nose to her soaked shirt and a crimson pool of damp spot on the couch underneath her head.

"Yoongi," he tried calling but his voice didn't even make it out of his throat. He looked up and saw the younger standing at the doorway to the bathroom with an ashen face, his eyes rounded in horror and a pill bottle in his hand.

"Call a nurse!" Jimin ordered pulling himself up on the couch to get up and by doing so, Kazimir's body got pushed over and her head slipped over the edge but just before it hit the ground, Jimin lunged forward and caught her by the back of her head.

His palm rested at the side of her ear, over her jugular nerve and he closed his eyes briefly and though he was not religious, he heard himself saying a silent prayer for the first time in a very long time.

Please let there be a pulse, Oh God, please let there be life, he prayed.

Mrs. Kim's head jerked up at the sudden shiver down her spine. It was five in the morning but she was still awake on the chair beside her bed. Her husband slept but his eyes kept moving under the lids, either running away or chasing a nightmare.

She stood up and put her hand on her heart. Something was coming. Something dark. A presence loomed over her and she looked back to the door, a dark shadow behind it. She looked back at her husband and shook her head as if to tell the shadow to let the man stay a bit longer. It was too soon, he still had time, she thought. He still had to see his grandchildren and still had to see Taehyung building the life of his dreams. He was a father after all.

The silence in the house made the ticking of the clock in her room so much louder that she thought it was suddenly brought to life. She hadn't paid attention to the ticking a moment ago but now, it sounded like it was running out of time.

She held her husband's hand and his eyes stilled. The nightmare must have ended.

"I need to check on the kids," she whispered to him, "I'll be back."

She made her way to Minho's room and gently knocked on the door before turning the knob. She stepped into the dark room, the only light source a little lamp on Minho's desk still on and casting a yellow light in the top of Minho's head.

She approached her eldest son and stroked his hair and made her way to his bed where Naomi slept, taking up most of the bed to rest her baby bump comfortably.

She gently brushed Naomi's hair back from her face and pulled a blanket over her. She took the extra blanket and draped it over Minho's shoulders.

"Always working so hard," she chastised gently, taking the pen from between his fingers and placing it beside the paperwork, "I wish I could have been a better mother so that you never felt the absence of your father."

She turned and gazed at his wife and her bump, "They'll be the luckiest and most beautiful babies ever. I wish your dad stays to see them. I wish he stays and sees what a great father you'll be."

She left the room and gently closed the door behind her but the shadow lingered in the hallway. She looked left and right, asking it to leave her kids alone, to leave her home alone, and made her way to Taehyung's room.

The room was empty save for some moving boxes strewn here and there. Taehyung was sprawled sideways on his bed, a few cuts and bruises on his face and his phone in his hand.

She looked back and saw that the shadow had followed her to his room. She begged it to go away, to leave her kids alone.

She moved forward towards her younger son and touched his face over a bruise.

"Minho told me you guys got into a fight," she whispered, "what it is between the two of you? Never letting me rest even for a second. What am I gonna do with both of you when your dad leaves, huh?"

"Where is he going?" Taehyung mumbled, opening his eyes.

She looked back at the shadow, waiting over her shoulder, "Nowhere. He's barely even here anymore. Does it even matter if he stays or leaves?"

Taehyung pushed himself into a sitting position, glancing at the time on his phone.

"What are you talking about, mom? Of course, it matters. He's not been there for Hyung and I am sorry for that. But he's always been here for me. It pisses me off that he refuses to get better, but he's all I have." Taehyung said but Mrs. Kim couldn't tell if he was sleep talking or drunk.

"You're right, he's not going anywhere." Mrs. Kim glanced back at the shadow, "He'll be there for your and Mir's graduation. He'll be there when you start your new job-"

"I lost the job." Taehyung retorted, throwing his phone on the mattress and looking away, "They sent the email earlier. All because of Mir and her screwed-up little head."

The shadow stirred and a trail of goosebumps erupted on Mrs. Kim's skin. Kazimir, she thought, my baby, I need to see her.

But just as the shadow appeared, it disappeared in an instant and the chilly stillness vanished from the room. Whatever it was, it was gone, taking the uneasiness with it. A calmness settled down in Mrs. Kim's heart and she sat down beside her son.

"What did she do?"

Taehyung looked back at his mother, realizing she had no idea what was going on. He secretly thanked Minho for not telling her but at the same time, he was breaking apart on the inside because of Kazimir's betrayal and his dirty revenge. She turned him into a drunk monster. He wondered if his mom could see it in his face what he had done a few hours earlier.

"You know she dropped out," he said.

"Dropped out of what? College? Well, I assumed she would drop out sooner or later but I am surprised she lasted this long."

"You knew?" Taehyung asked, widening his eyes.

"Did she ever tell you why she chose social science as a major as opposed to what she was passionate about? It's because it was the only major that was free. She said she would die before Minho paid a penny for her tuition."

Taehyung's jaw dropped. He didn't know that. He was always curious about the reason but never expected it to be this.

"So I thought," his mother continued, "it must be hard for her to force herself through four years worth of material she had no interest in just for a degree. I knew she would drop out at some point but she lasted till the very end. It's not like she would have actually put her degree to any use once she graduated. She's a born writer, she just needs to be forced in front of a typewriter to know her worth."

The statement stirred a few emotions in Taehyung. He thought about the time he decided to rebel against the school system and fail every subject on purpose because he couldn't grasp a single mathematical equation no matter how hard he tried. But instead, Kazimir dragged him to one of her poetry cafes where she forced a brush in his hand and told him to paint whatever he thought her poem meant. That painting still hung on the wall to this day. He knew his worth because she kept on forcing him in front of a canvas after that day.

He hated her but he loved her at the same time. It was such a dangerous place to be. So dangerous that he committed an unforgivable crime to prove he was not going to get played around by her anymore.

"Your dad is going to be there to see you become a great artist even if you lost this NY job. Great jobs don't exist for creatives. It's either you make it or you don't, and that only depends on your worth, not the place or the people you work for. Your dad's going to be here to see Kazimir's first book in stores too. Both of you are my precious little creatives, no matter how pissed I get sometimes at the endless empty paint tubes you refuse to throw out or the streaks of dried paint on trousers and teacups or the never-ending streams of poems scribbled on shower walls or dinner tables or even the hallway mirrors. This house is only brick walls and cracked tiles without you two adding your worth to it every day."

Taehyung tried to smile at that, "I guess she's started to affect you. You sound like a writer."

"I just wish there was a way she let me close to her more often. I guess she misses her mom so much that it hurts her to be around me and she fears I might replace her mother's place in her heart."

Taehyung sighed. First, because he knew the only reason Kazimir avoided his mom was because how the elder couldn't get past two sentences without complimenting Kazimir's face and bringing up marriage and possible suitors for her, Taehyung topping the list.

And second, he wondered if Kazimir really ever missed her parents. It was not likely since she barely talked about them or had any pictures of them in her room. She talked about her dad so much more than her mom and he wondered if it really was because she missed her so much. He couldn't begin to imagine what the inside of her mind must be like knowing there was no one looking after her like a mother did. He couldn't bear the thought of either of his parents gone and that made his heart skip a beat.

He and Kazimir talked about everything but he was realizing now she never talked about her parents to him in a nice manner. She mostly blamed her mother for being distant and her father for passing down his slutty genes to her. But Taehyung knew she was only bitter because they failed to protect her. He once told her that in the long run, what happened to her made her stronger but deep down even he knew she was just a child, she didn't need to be stronger, she just needed to be safe. To feel safe. In her mother's arms.

"What's the matter?" His mom asked, gently caressing his hair and pushing it back from his forehead.

"Do you trust me, mom?" He asked.

"Of course I do."

"Why?"

"What do you mean? Why do I trust you?"

Taehyung nodded.

"The right thing to say would be that you're my boy and I raised you well. But that's not the truth. I tried my best with both you and Minho but I also know I fell short at times because your dad wasn't always there to help me. I trust you solely because Kazimir trusts you. That's it. I know you get angry easily and I know you have times when you're not the best version of yourself, but if she chose to trust you, then that means I trust you too."

His mom chose the wrong time to tell him that and he held himself back from crying out in frustration and anger.

"What if I trampled over her trust?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would you still trust me?"

"Tae, what do you mean if you trampled over her trust? Did something happen?"

Yes.

"No. I mean if I told someone something she thinks I will never tell anyone. But I need to tell someone because it's horrible and she's been suffering because of it for too long and now she's taking it all out on me just because I am the only one who knows what's wrong." And I took it all out on her.

Mrs. Kim furrowed her brow in worry, "Baby, if you do that, then you need to be prepared for the consequences. I bet if she told you her deepest secrets, you told her some of yours too. If you tell someone because you think it will do her good, then she might react similarly and tell someone about you too. Are you willing to take that risk?"

Taehyung's hand itched to touch his scar where all his secrets lay but he held himself back. Because for better or for worse, Kazimir had already betrayed his trust. So it didn't make any sense for him to keep holding her trust like a fragile little porcelain doll. He had already smashed the doll under his foot until it turned to powder.

"What if I tell you that she needs help? Serious help? Would you still tell me to keep her secret?"

"Help with what? Her joint disorder?" Mrs. Kim couldn't help but feel the shivers all over again. Something lurked beside her, though faint.

"Yes and no." Taehyung said.

"Can't you help her without breaking the trust? Do you really need to tell someone else?"

"Yes. I can't handle the enormous size of the darkness she has enveloped herself into thinking it eases her pain and this black hole in her head is sucking me in too. I did try to help her, it didn't work. She's been getting worse, and I don't know what went wrong suddenly but it is getting really really worse." Taehyung pleaded through his eyes, "It's gotten so bad, so bad, that even I saw myself turning into a monster just because I am the closest to her."

Mrs. Kim's eyes ran the length of Taehyung's face, she had never seen him like this and she had a sudden urge to hear Kazimir's voice. She subtly looked behind her son, trying to seek the invisible shadow in the room but it was calm again.

"How bad is it?" She asked.

Taehyung took a deep breath, he was done hiding things, "Do you know where I was yesterday? In jail. Because she thinks I..." he looked away, "she thinks I raped her, mom. She got pregnant and stuffed herself with pills to abort the baby and now she's in the hospital and she thinks I fucked her against her will and force fed her the pills. She lost her mind for saying that and Minho believes her, that's why he hit me. I will never lay a finger on her against her will. God, I won't even persist she take a paracetamol if she has a headache if she says she doesn't want to. Mom, I lost my job because they think I am a rapist, I lost the love of my life because she thought I raped someone. If Mir had a blade pressed down on her wrist and she asked me not to touch her, I would watch her kill herself than as much as let even the shadow of me touch her." He said, trying to believe the last few statements himself too.

Taehyung hadn't realized tears were streaming down his face until he watched his mom's horrified eyes move from his eyes down to his cheeks before she brought her hand up to wipe them away. She pulled him in a warm embrace.

She held her son in silence, a torrent of emotions building up inside her. A few minutes passed by and she finally spoke.

"I believe you," she whispered, "It's okay. I just really need to talk to Mir right now. Can you call her?"

"What for? He mumbled against her, "I don't think she's awake right now and even if she was, I don't think she will say anything to you."

"No, baby, it's not that. I am still trying to absorb everything you just said and once I do, I'll see what needs to happen next. I just really need to hear her voice, make sure she's okay, make sure she knows I am here for her."

Taehyung pulled himself away from her hold and looked away again. He couldn't make eye contact with his mom for what he had to say, "I didn't do it. But just so we are clear, Mir and I..." he didn't know how to finish his sentence, "We... you know... we... uh- a few weeks back, or maybe over a month ago, I don't know, after the engagement actually, we've been sleeping together. Jimin didn't know."

"Taehyung," his mom gasped.