Kazimir clicked on save draft and put her laptop aside to munch on the dry piece of toast with yet again a long-forgotten cup of tea.

The liquid was cold as expected but the toast was too dry to eat alone. Instead of getting up and preparing something else for herself, she decided to bear with her miserable breakfast in order to get some food into her system. Whether it was a five-course delicious meal or just a grape, Kazimir found it hard to stomach anything past her strange appetite these days. Nothing seemed to satisfy it.

Her head drummed and rolled and her tongue tasted like a dead rodent but she ignored them because no hangover could compete to what her own body made her go through sometimes and being a little hungover was a lot better for her than being attacked by her own immune system.

It was early in the morning and she gazed at the golden rays of sunlight filtering through the kitchen window blinds. They fell on the floor and the table in the form of golden lean rectangles interrupted by black rectangles where the blinds blocked the light making it easier to mistake them as giant piano keys laid on the floor.

She thought about Taehyung and wondered what was he going to say to defend himself against what he had done the previous night, the memory of which was making Kazimir want to put a bullet through her head.

She waited for him to call or at least to ask after her but he didn't do both.

Instead, Kazimir found herself back home two hours before sunrise, the alcohol in her veins numbing away her immune system into believing she was in good health and she went straight to work cleaning her room, folding her laundry and changing into clean pair of sweatpants, cleaning the wound on her palm and bandaging it and now writing a few pieces at the kitchen table waiting for Taehyung to wake up and explain himself.

Forcing herself to be busy with minimal chores was her way of pushing a certain memory aside. She wasn't the type to forget anything after drinking and every time she thought about what had happened in that brief moment when Jimin put his hands around her, she wanted to cry.

She pushed aside the half-eaten toast and downed the tea in one go before standing up to stretch her limbs, relishing in the feeling that her body was too drunk to remember this was supposed to hurt and she stretched whatever her heart desired for the moment.

Don't think about it, she told herself as the sensation of being held by Jimin overtook her senses again. Don't think about it.

But she did anyway. She thought about it and thought about what it meant and thought about what Taehyung had said so many moons ago and thought about how such a small thing was breaking her from the inside out.

It's okay, she repeated to herself, you're okay. Just because one guy did that, doesn't mean they all will. Things are cool.

But they weren't.

Her head jerked up at the sound of a door opening and she thought it was Taehyung but Minho's voice drifted along the hallway and she decided she didn't want to see him first thing in the morning so she went back to her room.

She started arranging the books on her shelf according to the year they were published, yet another way to busy her mind but since she didn't have many books, she was finished a lot sooner than she expected.

She looked around her room, trying to find something else to do but nothing struck her fancy. She decided to go get her laptop and write some more but that was a bad idea because she walked in on Minho and Naomi having a moment in the kitchen.

"I didn't see anything!" She exclaimed covering her eyes and making her way to the table and grabbing her laptop to make a run for it but as soon as she left the kitchen she shouted back, "Get a room you two!"

"Oh shut up!" Minho shouted back but Kazimir could hear the embarrassment in his voice and she laughed all the way to her room.

But her laughter died down when a sudden uneasy dark feeling settled in her stomach again as last night's memory replayed in her head.

It's okay, she told herself. It won't happen again. You're okay, that's all that matters. What he did doesn't matter.

But it did matter and it had started to matter a lot.

She set up her laptop and sat down to write--her favorite mean of distraction but worry about Taehyung started to etch its way into her head. She was beyond pissed at him but the fact he hadn't even texted her was eating her up.

She picked up her phone to text him first.

Where are you? Did you get home last night?

She sent the message and dived into her writing. Thirty minutes later Naomi poked her head inside her room and gently knocked on Kazimir's door to get her attention.

"Hey. You're up early." She said.

"Yeah." Kazimir lied not wanting to tell her that she actually hadn't slept except for a few hours at her date's house.

"What's up? You look deranged. Are you sleeping okay? Are your joints giving you a hard time?" Naomi asked walking into her room to sit down on her bed but Kazimir stood up and gestured for her to remain standing.

"Yeah, I am okay but don't sit yet. When would Minho be back? Because you said all your clothes are getting smaller for you right? I need some clothes for now till I get new ones. Can I borrow some?"

Naomi told her Minho would be back in twenty minutes so they made their way to Naomi's room, the biggest room in the house and the older started taking out some clothes for Kazimir to try on.

"These were already pretty loose, I guess they would fit you better in the chest area." Naomi joked but Kazimir rolled her eyes.

You can have my whole body if you want but just give me one pain-free day, Kazimir thought.

Out of the two sisters, Kazimir won in every department when it came to looks and body. As much as she tried to deny it, there was no way around the fact that she was cut out to fit on magazine covers no matter how much she despised her dysfunctional body.

Naomi was by far the only girl friend she had ever had because no one wanted to be friends with someone who made them feel like they were less or made them insecure in any way. Kazimir tried to befriend alot of people but things never turned in her favor. Courtesy of toxic media, she was always looked upon as the mean girl who would steal all their men in every situation no matter how much more friendlier she tried to be. But facts were facts and she got tired of faking friendliness to gain friends. She was not obligated to play nice all the time just to prove a point.

Naomi on the other hand was civil enough but she was more like a mother than a friend or a sister and being Minho's wife, her motherly side often took very strict turns forcing Kazimir to believe she had no freedom of her own left.

Kazimir always believed that there was no way a guy would ever break them apart like they always did with all her feeble friendships but when Minho walked into their lives, this believe changed. Even though everyone knew Minho only had eyes for Naomi, he still managed to create a huge dent between the sisters. Kazimir stopped talking to Naomi about everything personal when she figured all her little misadventures always ended up in Minho's ears through her older sister. The biggest blow up being when she opened up to Naomi about the time she got drunk and lost her way to a guy's bed thinking Naomi would comfort her and tell her it was okay and that mistakes happen but instead, she had her actions thrown back to her face by Minho. Things had not been same between the three since.

Kazimir's hands reluctantly started to inspect the clothes while Naomi took out some more.

"Why don't you come with us tonight? I need some things and you can get some new clothes." Naomi suggested sorting the clothes according to size.

"I am still saving up money. I will go once I have enough." Kazimir said but what she really wanted to say was I would not wear it if Minho pays for it.

She pulled her shirt over her head to try on a certain shirt that caught her eye and Naomi gasped. Kazimir didn't realize what she said wrong but Naomi wasn't reacting to her words, but to her exposed chest.

"What the hell is this?" She demanded coming closer and touching her fingertip on a dark bruise to make sure it was indeed a love bite.

Kazimir's blood rushed to her face and she tried to pull her shirt back on and once she had her arms through the sleeves, Naomi grabbed her by the elbow and made her sit down on the bed.

"Explain. Now." Naomi gritted through her teeth, glaring.

"It's uh- just..." Kazimir tried to form words but as that dreadful memory resurfaced again, she lost all her vocabulary in the midst of the confusion.

"Who's responsible for this? Kazimir Lee I swear to God-"

"Taehyung." Kazimir blurted out.

"What?" Naomi asked searching Kazimir's face for a better explanation.

Technically, it was all Taehyung's fault she was in that position in the first place, Kazimir thought as her cheeks flamed up more but she wanted some time to explain the details.

Naomi's eyes got spaced out and she got lost in thought and Kazimir could tell this was not going to end well in the least.

"Since when?" Naomi asked finally and Kazimir didn't know how to respond.

"It -uh.. I- I mean we uh-" Kazimir began not knowing which lie would fit best here and Naomi got impatient.

"Fine then." She said getting up and Kazimir did the same.

Kazimir didn't know if Naomi had anything more to say or not but she scurried out of the room and went back to her own. She closed the door and picked up her phone to call Taehyung and explain what she had just done.

The call went straight to voice mail and Kazimir cursed and opened the inbox instead. There she saw that Taehyung had already replied to her text from earlier.

I slept at Joel's. I am still there to make sure he dosen't ruin the project again. How did the meeting go? Before you start cursing at me, let me explain. I saw her message on your page and thought since she's korean you would like to work with her n i texted her back saying you wanted to meet and look into a writing collaboration and then deleted my reply so you wouldn't know. Did you guys get along? Was she cute? ;) did you take a picture? I am dying to know. :D

Jimin felt violated to say the least. His body rocked inside itself, shaking in the cofines of his own skin and his head thummed against his skull making it hard to even keep his eyes open.

He was thirsty beyond believe but for some reason even water was making him feel nauseous. So was his condition everytime he woke up after drinking.

He despised hangovers more than anything but this time he had to nurse it along with his newfound rejection from Kazimir Lee, the writer he had started to look up to.

He put his head in his hands, ignoring the vibrating phone on the kitchen table and tried to take deep breaths. He would have to pick up the phone at some point and cancel the appointment and some other plans for the day because his hangovers were not the kind to go away by midday even though they woke him up before the morning birds. He couldn't sleep a hangover away like most people did so he had to endure with it till it was washed away from his system.

He moaned into his hands, the headache too painful for him to bear as events from last night started to play in his head, adding fuel to the fire.

He was not the Jimin the alcohol convinced him he was and as his question replayed in his head, he cringed so hard he felt a shiver run down his spine.

Let me kiss it better then.

Being physically intimate with a girl was something of an odd territory for Jimin. So odd that he started to look at the subject the same way he looked at cats. Sure cats were cute and adorable and fluffy and everyone wanted to pet them but not everyone actually had the guts to do so. Some people were simply scared to pet cats in general and often times this fear grew with them into their adult lives and even after. They adored the idea of having a cat and they even loved cats but when they came face to face with one, the hesitation took over again.

Of course there was a first time for everything and once someone got over that initial irrational fear, things took new turns. But Jimin hadn't been lucky enough to do so yet. Everything he knew about anything intimate starting from holding hands to locking lips and making love, he learned only through reading and occasionally watching but never from real experience. He was twenty two and wrote love poems about loving and holding and kissing and drinking and hurting and all else but he could never be sure whether what he wrote was anywhere near the truth or not.

Do you want to hear a joke? He asked Kazimir the previous night, I am a liar, he told her. And he was because he lied in his writings and his writing was the only truth he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It was the biggest joke of his life and alcohol made him spill it out to the only writer who he thought would tell him how to stop lying.

Alcohol also often times tricked him into thinking that his fear didn't exist anymore and so he always tried to drink away from people so as not to make a fool out of himself and start trying new things he would likely regret later.

In that brief moment when he asked that dreadful question, he knew it wasn't him that was talking but the alcohol. The little sober part of him didn't back off either, instead it got curious too and he wanted to try new things, ones his sober self was too scared to encounter.

There was a strange Czech saying that Jimin found amusing since he first heard it, 'Beggars don't ask for dessert', and it had an interesting meaning. If you saw a homeless beggar and offered them food, say a bread, but he asked for something sweet instead then typically you responded with 'Be grateful you're at least getting bread.'

The same went for many situations. If someone offered to do you a little favor in order to help you up but you rejected because you expected them to do the whole deal, then that's where the saying fit, "beggars don't ask for dessert, you should be grateful you are getting offered this much." It was same as "Beggars can't be choosers." but with a local flavor.

Strangely enough, this saying resonated in Jimin's head when he found himself enveloping his hands around her and leaning closer to her displayed skin.

Let me kiss it better, and that's all he wanted to do. Just kiss it better. But he thought, I will probably never get this chance again, might as well try everything I have ever heard or read about a hickey, I should try everything to make sure I know how it's done so I can write it better.

Beggars don't ask for dessert, be grateful you are at least getting just a peck, but Jimin dismissed this thought and latched his mouth unto her chest anyway.

Even in his drunk state, he could swear all his senses were suddenly alert and standing on tip toes to watch how it went as his lips smacked against her skin, kissing and sucking, followed by his teeth nibbling lightly and repeating once more before harshly sucking on the spot to draw blood to the area. His mouth went back to place another kiss and his tongue licked at the spot but that's when things went south.

He roughly pushed her away from him, wiping his mouth on his sleeve to get the awful taste off.

He heard her wince and looked up to see that her palms landed on the wooden flooring behind her to steady herself but the push was too harsh and one palm slipped against the rough surface cutting through the skin.

"What the hell! You taste like lidocaine and something rotten. God, what is this?" Jimin exclaimed getting up and walking inside to rinse the taste away, too drunk to realize his reaction just caused some irreparable damage.

Kazimir got up too and followed him, too drunk herself to figure out what just happened and when her eyes caught the sofa, she went and immediately fell on it where she instantly drifted off to sleep and when Jimin saw her there after walking out of the bathroom, he let her be and went and fell on his own bed and let sleep whisk him away as well.

He half expected to see her still there the next morning but she was already gone when he woke up.

Kazimir stared at Taehyung's message, panic making her limbs immobile. Her heart started racing against time itself as she tried to comprehend the text.

She typed in one question and hoped he would reply soon.

What was her name?

P.jm username, Park Jimin. Why? She didn't come? :(

Taehyung it was guy. I thought you set me up for a blind date. Park jimin was a guy.

Why would i do that? err sorry i am not that much of an asshole but i guess writers are still writers. He seemed like a huge fan of your work. I hope you didn't make a fool of yourself and ditch him.

If by a fool Taehyung meant whether she had her body thrown back at her for putting too much pain-relief patches on her sternum joint to keep it from flaming up and restricting her breathing then yes, she had.