𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚀 & 𝙰

[ 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓽𝔂 ]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : make sure to love yourself first. grow with yourself, be with yourself through thick and thin, pick yourself up through the struggles and lift yourself higher at the celebrations. and only go into a relationship when you're ready .. ready to fall in love and give your all. welcome love with open arms but also keep a distance- be aware of the flaws, be aware.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : me myself & i

𝐐 :

𝐀 : namjoon [nods slowly] it's hard not having him in my future.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [hums, deep in thought] honestly yoongi because he never gave up on me, despite everything ... i know for sure that he would've done anything for me.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [whistles] too fine .. too bad you don't get to find out ;)

𝐐 :

𝐀 : nope i would never take yoongi back, what we had wasn't right.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : none because the chapters of my life containing them all ended. but the ones who are still present are as my friends, my soulmates, simply because it's meant to be unfinished for us.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [lets out deep breath] big question thanks! [rests head on palm and thinks hard] love isn't everything everyone makes it out to be. at one point, i gave it too much importance and at one point i didn't. my view is that it's the most beautiful gift and it is an essential part of life .. but be careful of it's dark side- you know?

𝐐 :

𝐀 : you're an angel [blushes] that's a good question ... i wouldn't say i loved every single one of the boys. for example, Jin i don't think i loved, maybe i could have as a friend?

love to me is defined as a broad concept, it can be present in any relationship, it can vary .. whether that be family, friends, romantically with your partner- anyone, even a celebrity who doesn't know your name [winks]

and yes definitely! as time passed, my feelings did change for each person. for example, Jin i liked .. a lot but that soon turned into nothing because my feelings became negative. and with Hoseok, Taehyung, Yoongi and Jimin, i once felt romantically for them but those feelings have changed too.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : yoongi [sad smile]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i dealt with my emotions by pushing them away, avoiding them instead of confronting them .. which i do not recommend! [uneasy laugh] my experience of high school changed me, i think everyone changes in that period. i agree with you! i think it made me stronger, made me learn more about the different kinds of people, situations, the innocence of myself and the vulnerability of love.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : sometimes i feel like i don't deserve what i had with all seven men. but i loved them, some i still do and i like to think they loved me too so .. it feels very valuable, because they all helped me to be Serenity and feel loved :)

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i ... shit [emotional] i would be waiting for something i need, all my life. Serenity would never have truly lived.

[ 𝓳𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓸𝓴 ]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : hm [looks at Serenity] i do regret most things because i made a lot of wrong decisions, when all i had to do was stay with the one person who was loyal to me. i could've saved myself a lot of toxicity that way. i would love to go back in time and fix my mistakes, confess my feelings- i'd sit with Serenity at the lonely lunch table, stay away from the dominant groups in high school and stick by her side by being there for her. it's now that i realise how much i wasn't there for her when we were broken teenagers.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : it was .. i'm not happy that it was but it happened [clicks tongue] i felt so alone in my teenage years that i thought i needed everyone. i wanted friends, to be known, to be in a group, but i should've realised that all i needed was one person. she was always a good influence.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i thought that it meant something now, to her .. for us. and it terrified me because the way we are in the present is exactly how i want us to stay. the letter made our bond stronger [fighting!] but i'll never send mine, that's a no!

𝐐 :

𝐀 : maybe? [shrugs] there was a time where i saw us together romantically, but that was when i didn't leave her for materialistic desires, before i messed up. so if things turned out differently, then yes .. maybe we would've been together. we did both like each other.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : she was mine, correct [forced laugh] but yoongi was always hers.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : it happened without me even realising and you're all probably thinking- how stupid are you? but i was, i chose something of no value instead of Serenity and that shows how selfish i was- i never took her feelings into consideration.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : STILL GOING STRONG SISTER

: how to lower hoseok's volume? i'm kidding, be as loud as ever.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : no, not romantically [scoffs] she always belonged with jungkook ... everything happens for a reason.

[ 𝓴𝓲𝓶 𝓼𝓮𝓸𝓴𝓳𝓲𝓷 ]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [scoffs] she never gave me a chance in the first place?

: because your bitch ass wanted to jump right into a relationship without respecting my decision, or wanting to get to know me first-

: you're better than this baby [picks her up] let's go

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i wish i had an answer to that question [covers up sadness quickly with raised brows and flirtatious looks] anyone want to hit me up?

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i do miss her [starts to regret confession] i know for a fact that she doesn't miss me ... i tried so many times to contact her later but she just cut me off. all i wanted was for us to be together but i should've not played with her feelings [regrets second confession] and no, i wouldn't say i actually love her or ever did.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i never did mate

: the amount of bullshit i'm hearing today- [pulls out phone to contact her friends for receipts]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : life lesson ah .. that sometimes things are out of your control, don't try to make things happen- you'll be disappointed and exhausted mentally.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : she's the one who cut off ties with me [scoffs] didn't even give me a chance, how self absorbed can she be-

: heY YOU

: [confused] what?

: SHUT UP

: [shoulders slump down] i was going to say that :(

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i had a huge crush on Serenity since high school. i realised the feelings never went away after 3 years so i guess you could say i didn't handle it in the best way .. but i genuinely liked her.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [tries not to get offended] i didn't come here for this abuse-

𝐐 :

𝐀 : playboy? nah not me [wide smile]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : no one broke my heart, no one is the reason for the person i am today.

[ 𝓴𝓲𝓶 𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷 ]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i didn't tell anyone, it was mine and Jimin's secret- ours [plays with fingers whilst a small smile slips onto his lips]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : Serenity and me were nothing but friends and i don't exactly know what me and Jimin were .. so none?

𝐐 :

𝐀 : always.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : that's a promise i intend to keep. i hope you're well too love.

𝐐 : ❤️

𝐀 : thank you for your kind words! [dimple smile] i'm resting in peace.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i would respond with tears- both happy and sad. Serenity has always been a woman of sincerity so every aspect of her letter would hit hard. i would respond with gratitude, thanking her for noticing the small things, for remembering the memories even the worst ones, for being there for me until my last breath.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i would wish for a later death so i could have the chance to do all the things on my bucket list, continue to do the things i took for granted, for example: tickling Jimin, giving my scarf to Serenity or greeting my cat when coming home. but .. [tearful] fate is cruel and took me away from a life that could have been extraordinary. i hope Serenity and Jimin live lives that make me proud and joyful.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i was happy with Jimin but there were so many complications, we were together but not together .. i don't know what we were and it's the uncertainty that i think ate Jimin alive [feels guilty] i saw Serenity as no more than a best friend, she was so good to me and i miss them both.

: heY YOU you're not allowed to feel guilty when you had no control over your death do you hear me you gorgeous angel ??

𝐐 : 😙

𝐀 : hi omg ! [waves] thank you, please take care of you and love you.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : [wipes falling tears] to be aware of that love, is hard .. i loved them both so much, i wish i could have lived longer in order to create more beautiful memories with them. i'm glad i had more good memories than bad with each of them. i am at peace, thank you. take care of you! you are loved, needed and amazing!

𝐐 :

𝐀 : the thought of my time being extended [shakes head with tired smile] i wouldn't react in the best way to be honest .. i would react irrationally. because a lot of the things Serenity had to go through were depressing and she had no one. these seven letters shaped Serenity to the person she is today and she's a fighter. she knows they don't define her but she's thankful for every experience- good or bad and that makes me really proud [tear falls]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i would think she's the most amazing woman in my life. i would feel inspired, proud and tearful because when i met her she was broken, unhappy [takes a long time to think] what would i tell her? i'd tell her that i'm proud of her, that even on the days she's giving up .. i'm there even though she can't see me.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : whoever life and destiny brought me to, whoever embraced my heart and stayed with me forever .. guess i'll never know [suddenly sad]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : time ran out before i could [devastated] plus, i didn't know what to say, how to bring it up- i didn't want to be judged.

[ 𝓴𝓲𝓶 𝓽𝓪𝓮𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓰 ]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : HECK YEAH

: [fist bump]

𝐐 :

𝐀 : i didn't know from the start .. no, because i genuinely liked Serenity and never thought of her going out with my best friend. so when she did and i saw them being intimate after our break up, it did hurt and i was confused. but after talking things through with kookie, knowing him all these years, he's family to me and i've learnt so much about his connection with Serenity. when i saw how much their time together impacted them both, i knew they were meant to be happy together because they deserved that.

𝐐 :

𝐀 : a handsome man who admires me in all my glory and-

: the amount of people who asked this question [laughs] you can imagine tae's husband as whoever

𝐐 :

𝐀 : MATCH MAKER TAE IS READY

: i still cant believe i swore in front of your son [guilty after flashback of him chasing tae]

𝐐 :