based off 11.20

don't call me shurley

~*~

Juno sipped on her coffee as she watched Dean iron one of Sam's suit shirts with beer. She chuckled slightly, looking back down at her tablet. She was looking for any signs of Amara, hoping anything would pop up.

"Oh, perfect. We're gonna need our suits," Sam said walking into the room.

"Tell me you got something on Amara," Dean said ironing the shirt still.

"Uh, it's a long shot, but the clock's ticking, right? Whatever Amara's doing to Lucifer," Sam said with a sigh.

"Yeah. Beating on Cas in the meantime," Dean said with a slight shrug. Sam handed the tablet to Dean as he put the iron up.

"Yeah. Uh, Hope Springs, Idaho. A guy named Wes Cooper killed himself after killing a co-worker. According to the reports, though, nobody knows why. Apparently he was a perfectly happy guy, and then... snap," Sam said snapping his fingers.

"So, what? Possession?" Juno asked looking up from her tablet.

"Or he was soulless," Sam stated.

"It ain't much, but given what we got, I'll take it," Dean said with a nod.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. Dean turned off the iron, throwing Sam's shirt at him.

"There you go," he said, walking out of the room.

"Thanks," Sam said. He paused, sniffing his shirt. Juno noticed, looking away as she stood from her spot. "Dude, quit ironing my shirts with beer!!" Sam walked out, Juno smiling as she walked to her room. She set her coffee down, beginning to go to her clothes. She paused, a sigh escaping her lips. She stepped out of her room, walking down to Dean's room. She knocked, peering her head in as Dean looked back.

"Hey, I think I'll hang back here while you guys are out. If I get a definite lead, I'll call," Juno told him. He nodded slightly, Juno beginning to back out of the room.

"J?" She stepped back in, raising her eyebrows at him. "Cas will be fine." She nodded at his reassuring smile, then stepped out of the room. She walked down the hall to her own, sitting down on the bed. Minutes later, she heard the door to the bunker open and close. She stood, walking out to the library. Then, she disappeared from the room.

Juno looked around frantically, terrified that Amara or Lucifer had taken her. She noticed she was in a bar, making her furrow her eyebrows. She turned to see Metatron pouring a drink, making her eyes widen.

"Hey, Juno," he said with a slight nod. She pulled the angel blade in her coat out, pinning him against the counter. "Hey! Hey! I'm not the bad guy here! In fact, there is no bad guy here."

"You can stop now, Juno." She paused at the voice, recognizing it. She furrowed her eyebrows as she dropped the blade.

"Richard?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Ha, no," Metatron said with a laugh.

"H-Here," Richard said holding out a pair of sunglasses. She took them slowly, putting them on. Metatron turned around, Richard snapping his fingers. Juno's mouth hung open then and tears began brimming her eyes.

"God?" The light went away, Juno taking off the sunglasses.

"Yeah, but call me Chuck. I don't like the big 'G' word," he said as he took the sunglasses back.

"W-What's going on? How am I here? Where the hell have you been, man?" Juno asked raising an eyebrow. "Don't know if you noticed but your sis is ready to destroy the world and your first born is acting like a child."

"Wow, really just getting to the point," Chuck said with a slight nod.

"Yeah, getting to the point," Juno said. "So, what you been up to?"

"Oh, I've been super busy. Yeah, I traveled," Chuck said as Juno began pouring herself a drink. Metatron hummed in response. "I started a blog. Mostly just pictures of cats."

"Oh," Juno said looking at him.

"They're so cute," Chuck said laughing slightly. "And uh, Oh, I signed up for Snapchat. A-And I started a new series of books. Yeah. Revolution." Juno looked back at him as did Metatron. "But, I don't think it's going anywhere."

"Revolution?" Metatron asked.

"Yeah," Chuck nodded.

"Supernatural?" Metatron followed up. Chuck nodded again. "Maybe titles aren't your thing."

"You're not wrong," Chuck said as he was pacing.

"Why did you put on the Chuck suit in the first place? How did that make any sense to you?" Metatron asked beginning to walk back to the booth.

"I like front row seats. You know, I figured I'd hide out in plain sight. You know, plus, you know, acting is fun," Chuck said with a smile.

"Well... it's an Oscar-worthy performance. But... how did nobody know?" Metatron asked furrowing his eyebrows. "I mean, wh-what about that amulet thingy? Y-You told me about it, some... silly charm that burned brightly in the presence of you?"

"You mean this?" Chuck asked holding the amulet up.

"Yes! Dean had it! And your fav— Castiel," Metatron scoffed.

"Oh, you're just jealous you aren't the favorite," Juno chuckled as she walked to the two. "And yeah. They were around you. How did it never—"

"I turned it off. See?" Chuck pointed to the amulet as it began glowing. Juno and Metatron covered their eyes, turning away from it. "I should really put this away." He put the amulet in his pocket, looking at the two. "You'll never guess where this thing has been this entire time."

"Look, I don't care about that ugly, old thing or why you were slumming it with the plebes. Let's brass some tacks already, okay?" Metatron said. Chuck crossed his arms, waiting for Metatron. "You see and hear all. You know what an absolute piece of garbage I've been the last couple of years." Chuck closed his eyes with a sigh, nodding at Metatron. "Did you bring me here to destroy me?"

"If you're here to be destroyed, then I'd like to know why I'm here," Juno said turning to Chuck.

"You know what humanity's greatest creation has been?" Chuck asked them. "Music. That and nacho cheese. Even I couldn't have dreamt up that deliciousness," he said as he paced. Juno rolled her eyes, but payed attention. "But music... is magic. A lot of remarkable music was created in this space. B.G.'s Canteen. Now, it's not as well known as The Bitter End or The Gaslight, but some amazing musicians got their start on this stage. I'm hoping that you and I can tap into some of that old magic and finish what I started a few months ago." He pointed to the table, both of them turning. There was a stack of paper on the table, the top reading: "God. An Autobiography."

"You wrote your autobiography," Metatron stated with a smile.

"Ish. I mean, there are chapters, it's kind of a loose structure, uh, but, I don't know, something's missing. I'm—I'm stuck," Chuck said walking to the two.

"Yeah, I'm not a writer, why am I here?" Juno asked crossing her arms. Chuck let out a small sigh, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"You are here as a future in-law," he told her.

"Wait, what?" she asked confused.

"I know, I know. Don't panic. But... there's big plans for you Juno. And I just want to get to know you in case it all goes downhill," Chuck said with a small sigh. "You know. Greatness or eternal happiness, remember?" She smiled lightly, nodding.

"You want to get the old band back together," she nodded.

"Lennon and McCartney ride again," Metatron said with a smile.

"Well, I'm kind of Lennon and McCartney, so... but every writer needs a good editor. I did some of my best work with you, Metatron," Chuck said with a smile, taking his hand down from Juno's shoulder.

"Does this mean I get to be an angel again?" Metatron asked hopefully. Chuck laughed, patting Metatron's shoulder.

"Yeah, right," he stopped laughing, getting serious. "No, no, that's never—never happening."

"That's probably a good call," Metatron agreed.

"I think so," Chuck nodded.

"Well," Metatron said picking up the manusciprt, "let's do this." Metatron pulled glasses from his pocket, opening the book. Juno sat in the booth, Chuck sitting across from her. The dog that Metatron brought, Toto, hopped onto the table, laying there.

"So, Castiel," Chuck started.

"I don't really want to talk about him right now," Juno said with a sigh. "It doesn't help to live in fear of what other could do to the people I care about. Or, you know, the etheral beings."

"I'm sure Castiel will be fine. Just have hope," Chuck said with a light smile.

"Hey, what do you mean by future in law?" Juno asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"Oh, you know..." Chuck said trailing off. Juno's eyes widened as she leaned forward.

"Do I marry Castiel?" she asked quietly.

"No, no. Not that. You guys just become very... very close," Chuck told her with a nod.

"So, he'll definitely be okay?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Of course he will," Chuck said with a nod.

"Yeah, I need a drink," Juno said standing from the booth. She walked to the bar, going behind the counter. She began searching for anything better than whiskey, then eventually found some bourbon. She poured some of it into a glass, then looked to see Chuck peering over Metatron's shoulder.

"Are you in a hurry or something?" Metatron asked.

"I'm on a bit of a deadline," Chuck told him. He went and sat in Metatron's booth then, folding his hands. "Just give me some broad strokes, first impressions. Come on, hit me."

"It's good. Real good," Metatron said in a high voice.

"Oh, man," Juno said with a slight laugh. "You hate it."

"What? No. I love it. Love it," Metatron reassured Chuck.

"Last time I saw that look on an editor's face, I just handed in Bugs," Chuck said tilting his head. "All right, come on. Safe place."

"Details are what make a story great. This is lacking in some details. Like all of them," Metatron explained as he set down the manuscript.

"'In the beginning, there was me.' Boom – detail. And what a grabber. I mean, I'm hooked, and I was there," Chuck said holding his arms up.

"I'm hooked too, and yet... details," Metatron told him. You weren't alone in the beginning. Your sister was with you." Chuck leaned back, crossing his arms.

"Who cares about her?" he asked coldly. Juno stood up straight at his tone.

"Um... me. For starters. I assume you're aware that she's... out and about," Juno said walking around the counter. "Tanned, rested, and ready. I mean, that's why you're back right?" Chuck looked angrier than ever as he just sat there.

"This isn't her story. It's mine," he argued. Metatron looked at Juno who held her arms up to indicate she didn't know. Metatron sighed, going back to editing.

"Hey, Chuckles, how bout a game of pool?" Juno asked. Chuck looked over, nodding slightly.

*****

A few hours and many games of pool later, Metatron had finished editing. He set down the final piece of paper, then his glasses. He walked to the counter, beginning to pour a glass of whiskey again. Juno and Chuck both looked over, Chuck beginning to walk to Metatron.

"That bad?" Chuck asked.

"I'll tell you. There's some great bones there. I'm thinking what's missing – maybe less about detail and more about balance," Metatron told him.

"How do you mean?" Chuck asked.

"You're giving the wrong stuff too much real estate. Like that chapter about being Chuck," Metatron started.

"Mm-hmm. And what about it?" Chuck asked crossing his arms.

"Once you've explained the Vonnegut performance art... that should be it. No one cares about the rest," Metatron finished. Juno whistled as she widened her eyes, hitting a pool ball again.

"I did some great stuff as Chuck. I mean, I-I told you about my blog," Chuck said beginning to walk around the room.

"Oh. Oh, right, yeah," Metatron agreed, lying.

"Right," Chuck nodded.

"Your uh – your cat-pic blog," Juno said pointing at Chuck.

"Right. They're super cute," Chuck stated.

"Yeah," Metatron agreed.

"So, there's that. And, uh, I traveled a lot, you know?" Chuck said turning to look at Metatron.

"Right," he answered.

"And, uh, I dated. Yeah, I had some girlfriends," Chuck nodded. Metatron hummed in response. "Had a few boyfriends."

"Oh," Metatrn and Juno said at the same time.

"Oh! And I learned how to play guitar," Chuck said excitedly. He began playing the guitar on the stage, strumming out notes.

"Hmm. Yeah. That, you know, makes you seem like a really grounded, likable person," Metatron said. Chuck stopped his guitar plaing with a frown.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" he asked.

"You don't seem very grounded, and you're not a person," Juno said looking over at Chuck.

"So, you're saying I'm likable," Chucked stated.

"No, no. I am saying the chapter Chuckles is devouring pounds of pages at the expense of... juicier stuff. Stuff that people might actually want to read," Metatron argued with him.

"Like what?" Chuck asked.

"Well, like, uh..." Metatron turned, picking up the manuscript. "Like the archangels. I mean, you have got maybe two paragraphs on them in here. And that's it! Don't you think they deserve a few extra words. Especially your favorite, – Lucifer."

"He wasn't my favorite," Chuck said as he stopped his guitar playing again.

"Oh. He helped you defeat Amara," Juno said walking over from the pool table. "You trusted him with the Mark. And when you asked him to bow to mankind —"

"He refused," Chuck cut her off.

"He rebelled!" she shouted. :And in doing so, kinda wrecked Christmas."

"Okay, all that's in there, except the – the bit about Christmas," Chuck said waving to the manuscript.

"If you say that Amara is off limits, fine. But you know every great hero is defined by his or her villain," Metatron told him.

"Lucifer was not a villain," Chuck said sadly. Juno and Metatron looked at each other in disbelief. "He – He – He's...H-He wasn't a villain."

"Okay. Real talk. Th-This is still a safe place, right?" Metatron asked. Juno nodded, looking over at Chuck.

"Safest place ever created," Chuck told him.

"Okay. There are two types of memoir. One is honest... The other, not so much. Truth and fairy tale," Metatron explained. "Now, do you want to write Life by Keith Richards? Or do you want to write Wouldn't It Be Nice by Brian Wilson?"

"I want to tell the truth," Chuck answered.

"Then you've got some work to do," Metatron snapped. "There are no revelations in this book! And that's weird, given who you are. There's no new information, no soul-bearing."

"That's because I don't have a soul," Chuck said scratching his neck.

"Right! But you invented them," Metatron said getting his point across. "You invented souls. Souls! Try shining a light on that. How did that make you feel?"

"Nauseous," Chuck answered.

"Oh, god," Juno muttered rolling her eyes. "You know what?! No. That is not G-O-D talking. That's Chuck talking. And I get it – when you were on Earth, you had to go full method. Well, it's time for you to get back into character," Juno said stepping towards Chuck.

"This is me," Chuck said holding his arms out.

"Really?" Metatron asked. "This – This pile of self-doubt and nebbishness flooded the Earth? Followed up Sodum with a blockbuster Gomorrah? Created as much as he punished?"

"Sent a plague," Juno continued. "And an Apocalypse."

"No! Unh-unh! The guy I worked for – total badass! And yes, he could be a dick. Now, that guy... had some stories to tell. And he has a lot to answer for."

"Okay, so..." Chuck cleared his throat, "...what do I do?

"Hold up a mirror and show us who you are. Warts and all. Write for an audience of one... you," Metatron said pointing at Chuck.

"Dance like no one else is watching," Chuck stated with a small smile.

"Yeah," Metatron said with a wide smile. "I'm gonna help you either way. But you've got to pick a lane." Chuck took the manuscript from Metatron as Juno sauntered over.

"Richards or Wilson, Chuck?" Juno asked raising an eyebrow. He stepped past the two, then stepped. He threw the manuscript in the air, papers flying down.

"Richards – All the way."

*****

Juno sat in the booth next to Metatron as papers were printing from the new edition of Chuck's autobiography. Both men had wide smiles on their faces, the author and the editor. Juno picked up one of the pages, noticing it to be chapter 10. She handed it to Metatron as he smiled.

"Oh! Oh, this! This is what I was talking about," Metatron said flipping through the pages. "Chapter Ten – Why I Never Answer Prayers, and You Should Be Glad I Don't and Chapter Eleven – The Truth About Divine Intervention and Why I Avoid It At All Costs."

"Better, right?" Chuck asked raising an eyebrow.

"It's gold! Kind of angry with a side of bitter, but, hey, it's real.

"Now... not to overstep my bounds, but since you're on a roll, there's one thing I've always wondered," Juno said leaning forward. "Maybe it will make a good chapter, maybe even a whole book."

"Shoot," Chuck said still typing.

"Why?" she asked.

"Can you be more specific? I kind of get that question a lot about pretty much everything," Chuck said sound a bit nervous.

"Why did you create life?" Juno followed up. Chuck paused, hesitating on the answer.

"I was lonely," he answered.

"Your sister wasn't company enough?" Metatron asked. Suddenly, the music stopped, Juno looking around.

"I am being. She's nothingness. It's not exactly the makings of a fun two-hander, you know?" Chuck asked with a slight shrug.

"Yeah. But you didn't stop at one archangel or a handful of angels. You created worlds," Metatron said, pushing harder on his limits.