Finally, we are completely finished with episode four of season twelve. It took a few days, but we finally got it done.

I am super glad, too, because everyone— mostly Jared— has been watching me like a hawk every second of the day. I tried to ignore it, but I could not help but feel their gazes burning in to me.

Mason and Teresa both have been calling and texting like crazy since I tried to off myself. They were both terrified and upset about it, but I assured them many many times that I am okay, or I will be soon. I also explained Jason and I's relationship to Mason, at which point she giggled and congratulated me.

I was very happy to discover that Teresa is showing great improvement, and she is getting so much better. She got these weird kind of pills that are supposed to help stop the attacks or make them way easier to deal with—which she suggested to me.

I ended up making an appointment with that therapist for tomorrow, but I am thinking of backing out. I really do not want to go there alone. I would ask Jason, but he has to work, and he can't get out of it because Haley and Emily are busy preparing for their wedding, which is next week.

I could ask Jared because I am almost one hundred percent sure that he would say yes, but I'm not sure if he will be busy with the show or not.

Jason and I have been spending lots of time together, which has improved my mood greatly. We are officially a couple as of last night, when we discussed our relationship while eating ice cream.

Now, I am sitting on my bed while waiting for Jason to text me back, though I think he's probably busy so I give up shortly after waiting. A knock on my door brings me out of my train of thought, and then whoever is on the other side of the door opens it.

"Hi," Jared says, to which I smile and raise my eyebrows. "Have you ate yet?" I shake my head and purse my lips together. "You want to come eat dinner with me?" His expression shows that he probably does not think that I will say yes, so that's exactly what I do.

"Yeah, sure," I reply, grabbing my phone and getting up. He already knows that I do not like fancy restaurants, so I am probably already dressed decent enough. "Where we going?" I wonder aloud as I follow him down the steps.

"Wherever you want," Jared replies, and Arby's instantly comes to mind. I tell him and he agrees.

Gen and the kids are no where in sight, so I assume that they went out somewhere earlier.

The drive to Arby's is very short and silent, but it's not an uncomfortable silence. The radio plays quietly in the background, until Jared kills the engine and we go inside.

I'm not sure what Jared orders, but I get my usual, French fries and three chicken tender thingies. They are delicious and they fill me up good, so I always get them.

"How are you doing?" Jared asks once we are seated and waiting for our food. "I mean, if it's okay to ask." I shrug.

"I'm okay," I reply. Jared gives me a pointed look and I roll my eyes. "Okay, I'm not, but I'm doing better then before." I try to avoid his gaze as I wait for him to say something.

"Charlie, is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?" Here's my chance. Some girl comes over with our food and sets it down in front of us, smiling before walking back to the kitchen.

"Um, yeah, actually," I start nervously. If I'm being honest, I have not really ever asked anyone for help before, so to say I am nervous is a major understatement.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" To my surprise, he shakes his head, and I take a deep breath. "Okay, just, so you know, I have never actually asked for help, so... this is going to be weird for me." He offers me a small smile which I take as cue to continue.

I pull the card out of my pocket and hand it to him. He reads over it carefully then looks at me questioningly. "I made an appointment," I manage to say. Jared raises his eyebrows and looks at it again.

"It's for tomorrow afternoon," I explain. "But I don't want to go by myself, and Jason has to work at the diner all day, so..." I stop talking when I notice that Jared is chuckling a little.

"Of course, I'll go with you," he says, and I sigh in relief. He hands me the card back and I put it in my pocket as I begin to eat my fries. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

I tilt my head to the side and try to think, but there isn't much left to talk about, really.

"Hmm," I hum. "Not really. Is there anything that you want to talk about?"

He laughs as he takes a drink of his soda. "Well, I wanted to say that you did a good job on that episode. And also, I'm really proud of you, for making that appointment."

"Thanks," I murmur.

•••

"Oh, my god, you look so beautiful!" Haley exclaims as I walk out wearing a strapless blue dress, the one I will have to wear to her wedding as one of the bridesmaids. As you probably recall, I said no before, but after a while I realized it might be fun, and plus, there will not be a ton of people there.

"Thank you," I say shyly, smoothing the dress down. It goes down a little below my knees, which is perfect for me.

"And, all of the bridesmaids are going to wear their hair in a braid. That's okay with you, right Charlie?" Emily asks from across the room. I nod.

"Yeah, of course," I reply. Haley looks at me wearily, like she's worried about me. I furrow my eyebrows at her and she steps forward, preparing to explain.

"Everyone is really worried," she says quietly, so her fiancée does not overhear. My face heats up but I just shake my head.

"They shouldn't. I really think I am doing better." She sighs in relief when she realizes I am telling the truth. Then, to my surprise, she comes forward and hugs me, so tight that I think she might break my bones.

"Thank god," she mumbles. "Please stay alive for us, okay?" I struggle to get a word in what with her squeezing me so tightly.

"Can't. Breathe." She gasps and then pulls away, immediately apologizing. I take a few deep breaths as I try and shrug it off.

This girl, I swear to god.

•••

"Okay, I change my mind, I want to go home."

I try to make a run for the front door, but Jared stops me. He knows that I want to get help, but he also knows that I am terrified to death of talking about my feelings. However, he will not let me leave because he knows that this is what's best for me and I need it.

"Charlie," he says, his voice slightly intimidating. I back off and sit back down, my fingers tapping endlessly against the armrest. Slightly annoyed, Jared stills my hand with his.

"You are going to be fine, okay? I promise." I relax in my seat at the words I promise because I know he is sincere and that he means it.

"Yeah, okay," I murmur.

"Hey," Jared says softly, noticing my still uneasy attitude. I glance at him nervously. "You're not alone, Charlie." I somehow relax more at hearing this. I nod a little, and that's when some doctor calls my name from the front of the room.

I look up the same time Jared does. "You want me to go in with you?" He asks, and I think a moment before shaking my head.

"Some things I gotta do myself, you know?" I say, before getting up and following the doctor down the hallway and into a small room, where another (male) doctor sits behind a wooden desk. He looks up at me and smiles.

The doctor who brought me here shut the door and left, leaving me with this one, who I assume is a therapist.

"Would you like to sit?" The guy says, still smiling a little. Hesitantly, I draw the black chair out and sit, still tense and nervous. "Pardon me for saying, but it doesn't seem like you want to be here." I don't say anything. "Do you want to be here?" I shrug, hugging myself.

"I don't know," I answer nervously. He sighs deeply.

"Well that's okay," he says. "You're Charlie, right? Charlie Hannigan?" I nod a little.

"Well, Charlie. My name is Doctor Evans." I look up and furrow my eyes.

"Can you tell me what's on your mind?"