After being in the hospital for nearly two weeks, it is sooooo great to be back home and into my regular clothes. My mood has also slightly improved from the lack of talking about my feelings. Everyone has sort of backed off and let me be by myself since I got out of the hospital.

Jared seems very cautious around me, though. It scares me, because I hate it when he worries. I am pretty sure that I am not going to try anything like that again, at least not for a long while.

In a way, I feel like everyone is waiting for me to try again. Judging by the way they are watching me, it seems like it. I hate it.

The kids are kind of clueless as to what happened. They still act the same way around me as they did before. Thomas still talks to me all the time and even sleeps in my room some nights.

On this day, my second day out of the hospital, I am with Thomas in the kitchen showing him how to make Jello. We are currently making the blue raspberry flavor, which is my all-time favorite.

"Then, you mix the powder stuff in with the water," I explain, not-so-smartly. "And the water will turn blue." I let Thomas hold the spoon and mix, since he seems to be enjoying it a lot more than I would.

"What are you guys doing?" I hear Jared ask from the door. I freeze and let out a sigh of relief when Thomas answers. Since we talked in the hospital, I have not said one word to Jared, or anyone else, besides the kids.

"Making blue Jello," Thomas replies. I pretty much ignore Jared as I hear him walk across the room and get something out of the fridge, and then sit down at the table behind us. "Charlie?" Thomas asks.

"Yeah, bub?" He keeps his eyes on the spoon in his hand as he asks the next question.

"Why were you in the hospital?" I can practically feel Jared's eyes on me. I really wish he had not asked that, because now I have to talk about it in front of Jared.

"I was tired," I reply, because quite frankly, I was tired. Tired of waking up everyday and feeling like complete crap. Tired of second guessing everything I do and say.

"Then, why didn't you just sleep?" I chuckle softly.

"Not that kind of tired," I say, ruffling his hair a little. He frowns, still slightly confused, so I explain about as much as I can without going into the crappy details.

"I just hate worrying about everything," I start, and I can still feel Jared's eyes on me. Instead, I just focus on Thomas, who is still looking confused. "And I just figured that things would be better if I was gone."

It isn't like I'm lying to him, but he probably is not going to know what that really means.

"No!" He argues immediately, holding the spoon still for a moment as he looks up to scold me. "You can't leave! You're like my sister."

Well, there goes my fucking heart.

Feeling guilty for making him feel this way, I move around the small table and hug him. He returns it.

"I'm not going anywhere," I say quietly, stroking his hair and feeling my eyes tearing up for the millionth time this week.

When I pull away, I can't find the courage to stay and face him, so I leave the room, noticing Jared's worried expression as I walk by. I try my hardest to ignore him, but his expression only dampens my eyes further.

There's no one in the living room, thank god. I lean my head up against the wall and close my eyes, my hands on my face as I let the tears stream down my face.

I feel a hand touch my shoulder, and I immediately pull away to see Jared behind me. I sniffle a little and pull away from him, wiping my face.

"Sorry," I mumble, but he just shakes his head and pulls me to him and hugs me tightly.

And I don't stop him.

•••

Today we are finally finishing that episode of Supernatural. Things are going surprisingly well on set, except for everyone's weary stares on me behind the scenes. I have been trying to ignore it, but it does not seem to help.

Jared said that I did not have to come back today, but I insisted. I was thankful that he did not argue with me, because we really need to get this episode done.

Surprisingly, we finish a lot earlier than I thought we would, and afterwards I go to Jared's trailer. I came here with him, since I still don't have my truck back— and I can tell that they don't quite trust me to be by myself yet. I don't really mind, though.

"Jared?" I ask upon entering his trailer. His lights are on but he is no where in sight.

"One sec," he calls from the back of the trailer. I wait patiently and keep my eyes on the floor until he comes out.

A knock on the door makes me furrow my eyebrows, and I hesitantly step forward to open it.

"Jared, I need to—" My eyes widen as I see Jason standing there on the other side of the door. What the hell is he doing here? "Charlie?" He says, furrowing his eyebrows as well.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice coming out scratchy and quiet. I mentally slap myself in the face for my outward vulnerability. Jason scratches the back of his head and fidgets nervously.

"I was looking for Jared," he says, causing my heart to fall. Of course, he would not want to talk to me right away, after the way I acted in the hospital. He was just trying to be nice and I pushed him away.

"But, you're here, so I guess I don't need to talk to him," Jason says, taking me by surprise. He then smiles, which causes my heart beat to quicken dramatically. "How are you doing?" He asks, but I do not get a chance to answer.

"Hey, Jason," Jared says from behind me, and I almost jump in surprise. I did not even hear him approach me.

"Hi," Jason greets. "Could I borrow Charlie for a moment?" Jared nods a little and I step out of the trailer, following Jason as he begins to walk in no particular direction.

Without explanation, he pulls a card out of his pocket and holds it out to me. Confused, I take it and look at it curiously. It's the name and number of some therapist.

"Jason—" I start to protest, but he stops me.

"Look, Charlie," he begins, keeping his eyes on the ground in front of him as he walks. "If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone who knows you, we are not going to force you to. I am just giving that to you in case you ever want to talk about, well, anything."

He pauses, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"I mean, I am not trying to pressure you, or anything, just..." he continues. "Everyone deserves to be listened to, okay? Especially you. Please, you owe it to yourself. You don't have to use it now, just... sometime."

I cannot help the small smile that spreads across my face. I lean over and kiss Jason's cheek quickly, amazed at his sweetness.

"Thank you," I say quietly, stuffing the card into my pocket. Jason stops walking suddenly, so I stop too, and glance at him curiously. "Jason?" I ask, because he seems fazed by something.

"I love you, Charlie," he says, taking my hand and looking deeply into my eyes, which only confuses me further. "You know that, right?" I sigh and my shoulders fall.

"I know," I say quietly, because I do. Jason obviously has feelings for me, and it's not hard to believe that he is in love with me. In fact, I'm probably in love with him, too.

Jason pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it tenderly before releasing it. The corner of my mouth turns up.

"You call that a kiss?" I test him. It has been a long while since we have kissed properly, and to be honest, I really miss it.

Jason smiles, cupping my face gently and pulling me to him. I let my eyes fall shut as we kiss for the first time in a while.

Eventually, we have to pull away for some air, but our foreheads are still touching. It's a bittersweet moment that sends my heart soaring.

"I love you, too," I say, since it feels right to say right now, in this intimate moment. I can practically feel Jason grinning from ear to ear as he pecks me on the lips once more and then pulls away.

Hand in hand, we walk back to Jared's trailer, both of us smiling.