Of course, when I'm left alone, the crying would start.

Having depression or anxiety doesn't just disappear. It takes time to heal. And no one is there to help me do it. I have to admit, I'm pretty upset right now. It hurts the most knowing my only real family is mad at me, and I'm stuck here in bed because I'm not able to do anything about it. And who's fault is that? Mine.

I feel like a baby. Like an immature crybaby that can't even control himself. I wonder how weak and useless everyone thinks I am. Is my purpose in life to be sad and hopeless all the time? Why can't I be like them, like Chan, someone who has actual talent?

My spirits sank deeper and deeper and spiraled down into... nothing. That's what I felt. There were no more tears left, and all it felt like was simply nothing. No joy, no sadness, no anger. Just blankness.

After a few moments, I heard a faint knock on my already open door. I didn't even bother to look up, assuming it was just some doctor to check if I was alright. But instead, a voice I recognized came upon me.

"Felix, hey, you okay? What happened?" it asked.

"Why are you here?" I questioned, accidentally sounding a little mean.

"I'm visiting my grandma, but I heard someone sobbing and thought I'd come see if they were okay."

"I'm fine. You can go back to your grandma now."

Great. Now even he thinks I'm a crybaby. My red eyes were glued to the sheets in front of me, not daring to make eye contact with the boy.

"Doesn't really sound like it. What's wrong? You can tell me, I won't judge so don't worry." He cautiously inched closer to me. I bet he thinks I'll start wailing all over him if he gets too close.

My blood boiled as my hate the world pulsed through me. Most importantly, I think I hate myself. I unintentionally took that anger and exploded it over someone who's only trying to help.

"JUST GET THE FUCK OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU!" I abruptly shrieked. Chan instantly backed away, but instead of leaving, he closed the door as to not disturb others. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take a shaky breath before sitting down next to me. "Why are you still here..." I muttered.

"I'm here so that you won't have to be again. Did you harm yourself?"

"You sound like a therapist, and I don't need your help." I groaned.

"Show me your arm, Felix." He persisted. "Show me where you did it."

"Why do you care?" I asked, exasperated. Chan reached out for me, but missed as I yelped and twisted myself away from his view.

He sighed. "If you don't want to talk, you don't have to. But I'm here to listen, so I'll be here until you do." He didn't seem like he was going to leave until I told him.

Fine, I thought. Be that way.