in paper rings, in picture frames,

in all my dreams,

you're the one i w a n t

〰️〰️〰️

My apartment had never been a peaceful place. Not when I first moved in. Not when I briefly moved out. Not even when I moved back in after getting married, going to therapy, and revamping my entire relationship.

And definitely not on the morning of my wedding.

I was just about to take the very last sip of my coffee, seated at the kitchen island with Gus when Sutton barged through the door, a tired Koa hot on her manic heels. She swore to me that she'd be at my place by eight o'clock on the dot and unfortunately for my sake, she wasn't kidding. For a minute, I debated on telling our doorman not to let her in, but I knew that would make a bigger mess than I'd want to clean up.

The two of them had gotten to the city last night a whole entire twenty-four hours earlier than the rest of our family. Everyone was staying in the same hotel after the party since so many people lived far out of the city and I wouldn't expect anyone to drive back late at night. As my self-proclaimed Maid of Honor (even though I refused to have any of that traditional wedding bullshit), Sutton gave herself permission to do whatever she deemed necessary in preparing me for "the happiest day of my life". That meant checking in a day early and showing up at my apartment whenever she damn well pleased.

Like many, many times before, she swept me up in her cyclone ways and I hadn't had a moment of rest since her arrival. In the meantime, Koa ran off with Gus because my sister had lovingly instructed him to do so. Apparently we needed the whole place to ourselves to get ready, which meant no distractions – aka our husbands.

The only people whose whereabouts I knew of were Collin and Fallon, the only two souls that my sister would allow in my apartment. Right now, they had a pretty good gig serving as moral support from the comfort of my living room couch. Even Ziggy deserted me to hang out with them, although I couldn't blame him. If I could stay out of Sutton's way, I would.

We had four hours until the party started. In a corner of my bedroom facing a full-length mirror, Sutton hovered over me with a curling wand in her hand, loosely wrapping the last few chunks of my hair around the barrel. Over the sounds of the "mood-boosting" playlist she chose for background noise, I could hear Collin and Fallon laughing at whatever they were watching on my TV.

I had to give my sister credit. The girl was a wizard whenever it came to getting shit done. The Four Seasons Hotel had on-site wedding specialists that insisted on making your wildest dreams come true. Sutton didn't care, so she basically told them thanks but no thanks and did everything in her power to make this shindig everything I could have ever wanted.

That being said, she'd been working her ass off for months. In the middle of curling my hair, Sutton loudly inhaled, and my gaze lifted from the floor to see her jaw unhinged in a massive yawn.

"Did I just see a yawn?" I gasped in mock horror. "We've got a long night ahead of us so you better cut that shit out."

I was partially joking, but I also didn't want to deal with a cranky, tired Sutton. She was my right-hand woman for the day and if she wasn't on top of her game, we'd all suffer.

"You're right. I've been up since five and I'm hitting a wall. I need coffee," she announced, vigorously shaking her head as if that was her way of hitting a reset button.

"Be my guest," I said, stretching out my arm to gesture towards the kitchen.

She dropped the final section of my curled hair and set the wand down on my dresser, taking a moment to inspect a few pieces. "Let it sit before you use hairspray. I'll be right back."

"Make me some while you're at it!" I called after her as she darted out of my room.

It was the first time in hours that I found myself alone. Not that I didn't appreciate Sutton and all that she was doing for me, because I did, but we hadn't lived together since we were teenagers and sometimes I forgot how exhausting she was to be around for long periods of time. I had no idea how Koa did it day in and day out.

Within thirty seconds, I regretted giving her the task of making coffee.

"Bayla, you're out of creamer!" She whined from the kitchen.

I grimaced. "Oh yeah, I used the rest of it this morning."

"You don't even have any fucking milk!"

"Well then I guess you're drinking it black," I retorted, not bothering to get up and help her. I knew for a fact I didn't have any sort of dairy products left in my fridge because Gus and I were leaving for our honeymoon in the morning for a week, so there was no point in keeping any of that stuff around. I should have thought of that before I suggested coffee, but some old habits die hard.

Sutton made a sound of pure disgust at the idea of black coffee before declaring, "Hell no. I'll go buy creamer right now. Collin?"

The way her tone changed on a dime and how she cooed my best friend's name, so sickly sweet and persuasive, had me laughing to myself. I was listening to the entire exchange from my bedroom, still at the stool in front of the mirror as I contemplated how I was going to do my makeup.

"Yeah?" Collin answered hesitantly.

"Can you take me to Target? I don't know where it is and I need coffee so I can get ready," she pleaded in all her silver-tongued glory.

There was a beat of confused silence, then Collin blandly said, "Why don't you just walk to Starbucks? It's like, two blocks away."

"Because I don't fucking like Starbucks," Sutton sneered the name, venom on her tongue and a concrete plan in that brain of hers. "Target. Let's go. This is important."

There was no point in arguing with my sister. Collin was bound to lose no matter what. When I heard keys jingling, footsteps shuffling around the room, and some irritated grumbles, I knew he accepted his defeat.

To Fallon I assumed, he asked, "Are you coming?"

"Nah, I'll stay here," she answered, which was a smart move on her part.

"We'll be back!" Sutton shouted loud enough for me and my neighbors to hear.

I didn't even get to say anything back before the door to my apartment slammed shut, followed by the sound of much quieter footsteps that I knew belonged to Fallon. She walked into my bedroom just as I stood up to shake out my curls. With my head flipped upside down, I spared her a look to see her idling in the doorway.

"Hey," I chuckled, sifting my fingers through my hair.

"How's it going in here?" She asked with a tinge of amusement in her voice.

"So far, so good," I sighed. "I have a feeling you'll be the quickest. Who the hell knows how long Sutton is gonna take to get ready."

"Do what you gotta do. I can work around you and be done in fifteen minutes. It's no biggie," she told me.

After a few more tousles and a little bit of hairspray, I stood upright again and glanced over at her. The tiny, strappy tank top she was wearing displayed all of the tattoos scattered along her arms that she folded across her chest while she studied my closet. Her gray sweat shorts showed off her legs, and her low ponytail brought out the sea of freckles covering her bare, unblemished face.

She was so fucking stunning in such an edgy, cool way that I could never be. I'd probably come off as a try-hard whereas for Fallon it just naturally worked. And now that I'd met her and known her for a couple of months, I couldn't imagine Collin being with anyone else.

I took a seat on Gus' side of the bed. At the creaking of the mattress, she followed my lead. Neither of us spoke.

Since we'd become acquainted, there wasn't a single moment where the two of us got to spend time together alone. I always underestimated how important quality girl friend time was, so right now seemed to be a good chance to have that with Fallon. There were so many things I wanted to ask her and yet I couldn't get a single word out. She was the type of person that would tell you if you asked too; she was a pretty open book and no question was out of bounds for her. I just didn't know where to start or what to say, exactly.

"Collin told me everything," she blurted like she was reading my mind. I snapped my head up to look at her, but she was avoiding my gaze. "How he's... that he doesn't..." She swallowed hard. I could see the words floating around in front of her, just out of reach that she couldn't grab onto any.

I nodded my head in understanding because, without words, I knew what she wanted to say. It wasn't embarrassment or shame holding her back. I could tell she wasn't that kind of person. Rather than judging her for it, I took what I could from her opening up to me and worked with it as best I could.

"I'm glad he did. He was scared for a while," I admitted, my voice dropping to nearly a whisper. I didn't know what it was about this topic that could break me.

Maybe because it never sat as well with others as we would want it to. Or because Collin never told anyone about it. Maybe being his other half made it feel like it was my own battle to fight. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't had this conversation before because no one was around long enough to have it.

"I get it," she said, her soft tone mimicking mine. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and plopped her hands in her lap, staring down at them. "I want you to know it's not a dealbreaker for me or anything like that."

I let out a shaky sigh and chewed on my bottom lip. "It can be for a lot of people, so I appreciate you telling me that. He must really trust you."

"I'm grateful that he does." A small smile touched her lips, but I could sense a shift in the energy around us just from the way her shoulders stiffened. Her fingers twitched, her eyes not daring to glance my way. "I uh... I did a lot of stupid shit when I was younger and I'm not looking to go back down that road. Got wrapped up with the wrong people, took too much for granted. Never realized how important it was just to have someone around that actually cares about you."

All I did was nod, again, further proving that I was still pathetic when it came to participating in deep, emotional conversations. Wayne could teach me a lot of things, but he couldn't change the fact that consoling with me was like hugging a porcupine.

Fallon didn't seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't care. She went on without a hitch, opening a door I hadn't even realized I was standing in front of.

"My dad died when I was a kid, my mom left before I finished high school, and my stepdad was the only one that hung around. He wasn't the best influence, though. He cared enough to stay but not enough to really raise me or my sisters, so that made me not care enough to be a good person," she revealed all of this with such a steady, nonchalant attitude like she was telling me what she does for a living. With a shrug of her shoulders, she added, "Nowadays, all I'm looking for is some stability, and I have that with Collin. He's such a solid rock and I'm lucky to have met him."

"He's a special guy," I finally contributed something; a fact we were both well aware of. "He's got his insecurities, but he always means well. He brings out the good in other people just by being around them."

"Sometimes that's all you can ask for. I spent my whole life looking for something greater, but it's the simple things that mean the most. Maybe it's something that's been right in front of you the whole time and you just never noticed it before."

That last sentence triggered a mental lightbulb to go on. So bright and blinding, like a spotlight shining on a dusty, forgotten corner of my mind.

I found myself unconsciously smiling as I said, "Sometimes what you need isn't what you get, it's what you already have."

"Wow. That's profound," she breathed, lowly chuckling.

"My brother-in-law told me that when Gus and I separated and it's stuck with me ever since."

They were wise words to live by, but I couldn't help shuddering at the memory of who we were back then. Just two people fighting over something we thought was irreparable, when really all we needed was right in front of us the whole damn time.

Fallon hummed to herself in agreement. That moment, whatever it meant to both of us, was severed by the ringing of my phone. It sat between us on the comforter where I'd chucked it earlier, buzzing away and alarming me that a Facetime call was coming through.

At first, I thought it might be either Sutton or Collin in a quandary with the coffee creamer. When I saw Gus' name on the screen instead, my lips pursed.

I didn't have a chance to reach for the phone before Fallon lunged for it, snatching it off the bed and answering. She made sure to angle the camera towards herself and keep me out of the frame, probably for superstitious reasons, if I had to guess.

"Hello," she caroled for a greeting.

"Hi, Fallon. Let me see my wife," Gus demanded. In the background on his end, I heard a ton of commotion coming from Koa, Dean, and the rest of his guy friends.

She clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Nope. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"We're already fucking married so that doesn't mean anything," he spat impatiently, and I could perfectly picture him rolling his eyes. "Can you just give her the phone?"

Fallon paused as if she were thinking it over, dramatically tapping her chin with a finger. I knew it was just for show and she wasn't going to give in, but she couldn't resist messing with Gus. He was too dramatic for his own good, and she was far too headstrong not to get her way.

"Nah," she chirped in conclusion, "You can wait to see her at the party. She's sitting right next to me and can hear you, so say what you need to say because we have to finish getting ready."

He mumbled something to himself that made Fallon give him the finger. Then I heard him call out, "Fine. Bay?"

"Yeah?" I said so he knew I was listening.

"I just wanted to say I love you."

I didn't know when exactly Gus turned into such a big softie, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I could feel Fallon staring at me with a teasing grin on her face, just itching to poke fun at how we were becoming one of those mushy-gushy couples everyone hated. I didn't care.

I looked at the back of my phone and murmured, "I love you, too."

"You guys are gross and I love it," Fallon crooned, turning her attention back to Gus now. "Thanks for the sweet message. We'll see you later. Bye!"

She hung up before he could get another word out, dropping my phone face down on the bed again like that was going to stop Gus' clingy ass from bothering us again.

"He's probably gonna call back," I warned her.

"Well, that's too bad." She brushed it off, and as she jumped off the mattress and reached her hands out to help me up, her eyes were glistening with determination in the likes of my sister. I held my breath when she said, "He'll just have to wait. We gotta get you ready for your fucking wedding."

〰️〰️〰️

A/N - oh hi. me posting a chapter BEFORE 7 months go by??!? who is she. we don't know her. what is going on. idk. all i know is this chapter gave me so much agita and i'm just glad it's DONE. still don't know what i'm doing with this whole ~writing thing considering i never get to do it anymore but we are Trying here.

i also can't believe summer is over already??? this year man... what the actual fuck. hope you guys are staying safe & healthy. thank you if you're still here reading and keeping up with this shit show story. i love ya LOTS.

xoxo, sabbbycat