take me back to where we began,

can we start over a g a i n

〰️〰️〰️

On the night of my high school graduation, my entire senior class went straight from the ceremony to Quinn Regis' house to celebrate all night long. He was the party aficionado in our grade, a champion swimmer, and a very special person to me.

Not because we were close friends or anything, even though I did almost hook up with him in his hot tub when we were fifteen. I didn't have anything against Quinn, but I was obviously a virgin at the time and I had no sexual feelings for him whatsoever. I had Collin to thank for not leaving my side the night Quinn wanted to make a move on me; he never got to, and he never tried again.

To this day, I still didn't know if he just wanted to make out or go further than that. Either way, doing anything in a hot tub that my classmates frequently used skeeved me the hell out.

All of that nonsense aside, Quinn was special to me because his backyard was the birthplace of Gus and me, where he accidentally offered me a flat, lukewarm beer that changed my life. Two years later, we'd be in that very backyard celebrating our high school graduation as a real couple.

Quinn kickstarted the slew of graduation parties that followed one after another for the rest of that summer until we all left for college. I was living off of Redbull and vodka, cheap beer, and cake. I hardly saw my parents, I slept for about four hours a night, and by the time my eighteenth birthday rolled around in August, I didn't want to do a damn thing for it. I spent most of that day in bed.

Now that Asher graduated from high school this year, it made me realize how he truly was the best Barclay kid. He made the top twenty rank of his class and had multiple offers on the table from universities all over the country. I didn't even know my class ranking and out of the six schools I applied to, Drexel was the only one I got accepted into after being waitlisted for months.

After the ceremony, Asher had dinner with all of us – our parents, grandparents, the Makana's, Duncan, Valerie, Madelyn, Gus, and myself – then he went to a party with his friends and was home safe and sound by two AM. I never made it home after my graduation.

Sometimes I wondered how we were even related.

Asher wasn't crazy about having a party for himself, but my mom couldn't possibly let this milestone slip by quietly. Her last kid graduated high school and she wanted everyone to know it. So on the hottest Saturday in June, we all got together at my parent's house in honor of my baby brother, the fresh graduate.

A massive tent worthy enough for the circus shaded the backyard, which was smart on my dad's part for renting since sitting at a picnic table in direct sunlight would've guaranteed a heatstroke. Said tables were in an orderly arrangement all throughout the grass, each one occupied by a different group of guests – cousins I hadn't seen in forever, Asher's classmates and their parents, and literally anyone that knew the Barclay's.

My dad was manning the grill with Koa, Gus, and a few other fathers because even though my mom went above and beyond with the catering, he couldn't resist. Asher was with his friends, escaping the recurring questions of what he was doing for college and chugging beers. Sutton was sitting at the Monahan's table looking like a sunflower come to life in her striking yellow jumpsuit, having a conversation with my mother-in-law that required dynamic hand gestures and squealing.

And of course, Collin was capturing it all on his camera while Ziggy followed him around like a shadow.

I took in the mayhem from the raised deck where I got to have a moment to myself at what was the biggest gathering we'd had since Sutton's wedding. I'd never seen so many people at my childhood home at one time, which was saying a lot because just my immediate family was a fucking handful.

My no-frills mini dress matched the color of the clear blue sky stretched out overhead. The straight, shift-style silhouette wasn't too tight or too loose, the spaghetti straps tied at the top, and the back was all open. With my white platform Vans for shoes, it was as fancy as I'd allow myself to get for how scorching the temperature was.

As another bead of sweat trickled down my chest, I knew I needed a drink. Rather than go down the steps to the yard where there were coolers full of beverages, I spun around and walked through the back door that led right into the kitchen. After I slid the door shut behind me, I leaned against it with a heavy sigh of relief at the cool temperature of the house.

I closed my eyes and let the air conditioning waft over my burning skin for a minute, debating if I even really had to go back out or if anyone would notice that I disappeared. It felt way too good being inside and I wasn't sure how much longer my hair would hold up. My loose curls were already starting to fall flat and stick to the back of my damp neck even though I just styled them a few hours ago.

At the sound of footsteps, my eyes opened. Valerie came strolling out of the hallway that directed to the bathroom, her light gait stuttering when her dark gaze found mine.

"Oh, hi," she said, surprise clear in her voice.

"Hey," I greeted her with a nod, pushing myself off the door.

I wandered through the kitchen and inspected the island in the middle of the room. All of the food that couldn't be outside in the heat was kept in here; deviled eggs, fruit salad, and a cheese board so extravagant, it would bring Wayne sheer joy for the charcuterie nut he was. I'd already eaten so much and I was trying to save room for dessert, but I suddenly felt so tempted to make another plate.

Valerie awkwardly lingered with her hands folded in front of her like a child awaiting punishment. I wasn't sure what she was doing, standing there and not speaking to me, but I ignored her and headed to the fridge to snag a frosty bottle of sweet red wine.

She watched me carefully pour a glass for myself at an open space on the island, so I lifted my gaze to meet her as well as a confused eyebrow. "Want one?" I asked, figuring that was why she was staring at me.

She shook her head in denial, her sleek sable waves swaying with the motion. I shrugged and filled my glass to the top, then put the wine back in its place.

We stood on opposite ends of the kitchen, so I let my eyes graze over Valerie. The short hem of her chiffon dress showed off her bronzed legs; a natural complexion for her whereas I would have to slap on two bottles worth of self-tanner to get even half as tan. She was one of the few people that decided to wear black today, but the subtle floral print of the dress combined with long, flowing bell sleeves made her outfit slightly more appropriate for summer. How her hair wasn't ruined from the torrid weather was beyond me.

It was almost sickening how gorgeous she was. In a way, I couldn't blame Duncan for catching feelings. For as long as I'd known Valerie, which was practically my whole life, the girl held more allure in one hand than I had in my entire body. My sister made time her bitch, but Valerie could make a clock stop with one look.

"This is weird, right?" She finally spoke up, a tinge of discomfort in her deep, raspy tone.

I swallowed my mouthful of wine and nodded. "Yeah, a little. You're also making it weird by just standing there staring at me."

"Sorry," she breathed, laughing nervously. Her gaze fell to the floor and she twiddled with the gold chain bracelet on her wrist. "I know you guys have known for a while, but I'm still getting used to it."

Today wasn't their first official outing as a couple. My family had known for three months now that Valerie and Duncan were a thing. It was slowly starting to feel normal, though I had to agree with her; I was still coming to terms with it myself. The girl who had been nothing short of an obnoxious pest and was also my sister's supposed "best friend" was now shagging my older brother.

At least, that was how the cynic in me saw it. The kooky romantic part of me that had come out of nowhere knew it was more than that.

Valerie had moved into Duncan's bungalow at the beginning of May and they were in love. They'd been together for roughly a year. They still had the same arrangement of Madelyn staying with her mom on the weekdays and with Duncan on the weekends, and I almost hated to admit how damn good they looked as a family. Not just because Madelyn slightly resembled Valerie in certain ways, but because the three of them were so compatible like they were meant to be together.

It was weird and it would take some time to get used to, just like everything else that had happened to me this year.

"Me too, but I gotta say I haven't seen Duncan this happy in a long time," I said, a passive smile lifting my lips. "Plus, you get along with Maddy and despite our differences, that's the most important thing. My brother loves you and–"

"He what?" Valerie choked out, her head snapping up to reveal her bewildered gaze.

My mouth was ajar from when she cut me off, but the only sound that left it was a prolonged, "Uhhh..."

If I could physically backpedal out of the room and erase this conversation from both of our brains, I would have. Valerie's expression had me rooted to the spot in mortification. It was like the night I blurted to my family that Gus and I eloped all over again.

When will I learn to keep my fucking mouth shut?

I started to splutter a poor excuse just as a venomous grin split across her face.

"I'm messing with you, Bayla. I know he does." She chuckled to herself and crossed her arms, regarding me with a look of disappointment. "I can't believe you fell for that. After all these years, you still don't know me?"

I couldn't help but snort because she had a point. "That was one way to cut the tension. You really are a bitch."

"I am," she chirped, nodding proudly. "I mean, I had to be so you guys wouldn't catch on to our relationship, but it does come pretty naturally to me."

"Well, it worked because obviously none of us had a clue," I said, then I realized my error and corrected myself. "Besides Sutton, but you know how she is."

Valerie's pout morphed into a knowing smirk. "Oh, I know. That's why I was extra bitchy to her this whole time, even if it was her wedding."

Her logic was twisted, but it made so much sense. A sigh of resignation escaped me as I told her, "I don't know what this means for us. I'm not saying we're gonna have tea-time or hang out, but I guess I'll tolerate you for Duncan."

"And I'll tolerate you for Duncan," she mimicked my negotiation.

Since this discussion went a lot better than I would have predicted, I knew this was the time to patch things up between us. We might not ever see eye to eye or be best pals, but we could at least be civil and leave our petty drama in the past.

"Truce?" I offered, and when the word registered, her entire face relaxed.

"Truce."

She rounded the island and came up to me with one of her hands extended. I looked at it for a second, then put my wine glass down and clasped my own hand around hers for a brief shake.

I never thought I'd be having any sort of boding moment with Valerie as a result of her being in love with my brother, but I also never thought I'd be married to Gus at twenty-three years old. It was the year of change for me, I guess.

"Just saying, this doesn't mean we're friends," I reminded her as I pulled my hand back.

"We were never friends," she said. Her sour smile proved it.

The sliding door across the room opened then. Gus stepped inside, basically moaning out loud at how refreshing the cool air was.

"It's fuckin' hot out there," he panted as a blatant observation. His eyes jumped to Valerie and I, having not noticed us when he first walked in. The wrinkle deepened between his brows. "What are you guys doing?"

"Just talking," I said with a shrug.

He pursed his lips in doubt, but he kept his nosy questions to himself. "Okay, well your mom wants to cut the cake soon and she told me to tell you to take it out of the fridge so it can defrost a little."

"Alright..." I trailed off. My eyes scanned the island and all the countertops that didn't have a free space big enough to fit the colossal sheet cake my mom had ordered. "I'm gonna have to find a place for it."

"I'll leave you to it," Valerie happily dismissed herself.

Just like that, our heart-to-heart was over. Once a bitch, always a bitch.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Valerie skipped over to the door and grabbed onto the handle, but she hesitated before opening it. A flicker of amusement softened her gaze that went back and forth from me to Gus. I didn't know what to make of it until she said, "By the way, congratulations."

With that, she was out the door, and Gus and I were staring at the empty spot where she stood like she'd magically reappear.

"That's the nicest thing she's ever said to you," Gus uttered in amazement. "Or me."

I shook my head and started moving the trays of food around on the island to clear a place for the cake. It was so absurdly large that there'd be enough slices to go around the entire party and have leftovers, which I wasn't complaining about. I'd do anything to take some extra dessert home with me.

After I cautiously took the sheet cake out from the top shelf in the fridge and kicked the door shut, I turned around to see Gus standing a foot away from me.

"Don't touch me," I hissed. Congratulations, Asher! written in swirly cursive on the icing was staring back at me, just taunting me to drop the cake and secure my death. "I have to put this down in one piece or you'll be widowed by the end of the night."

Gus chuckled to himself, but he obeyed my threat. We both held our breath as I lowered the cake, a gust of air parting my lips once it was flat on the granite surface of the island. I pushed it inward so it wasn't hanging off the edge, then took a wide step back to lean against the counter so I could avoid causing an accident.

When I looked up at Gus, he blinked at me in a bored manner and asked, "Can I touch you now?"

"I don't know..." I grimaced, followed by a sound of mock disgust.

"Excuse me?" He scoffed.

I couldn't hide my grin anymore as I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. "I'm kidding. You can touch me anytime you want, just not when I'm holding a two-hundred-dollar cake."

"Two hundred dollars?" He wheezed in horror. "Is your mom planning on feeding the whole neighborhood?"

"Probably. Don't expect anything less for our wedding."

His eyes were bugging out from the price of the cake, but the words our wedding brought out a new spark in those two sapphire pools. I could feel his hands roaming along my sides until they stopped on the small of my back.

"I can't wait to marry you again." His voice was strong and sexy and it made me giddy as hell.

"Six weeks, but who's counting?" Despite my teasing tone, I knew that neither of us looked at the calendar as obsessively as we had in the last couple of months. The first of August couldn't have been further away and yet so alarmingly close.

"Sutton and my mom are having a field day out there," Gus sighed with a shake of his head. "Between the two of them, I think we lost the right to plan our own party."

"Don't worry, if Sutton makes anything about herself, I told her I'm never talking to her again," I said, stroking my fingertips on the nape of his neck. I shrugged when I added, "She's just excited."

"I think excited is an understatement."

That was true. My sister had been in her prime during this whole process and everyone thought it was just typical Sutton behavior. It was in a way, but Koa and I were the only people that knew it was a means of distracting her from the dark cloud that had been hanging over her head since Thanksgiving.

From that day I spent at her house when she opened up to me about her fertility issues, she hadn't told anyone else. I couldn't lie for shit and we all knew that, but this was a secret that even I could keep to myself. Sutton would tell our family whenever she was ready and I wasn't going to take that away from her.

For now, she was dedicating herself to my big ass wedding celebration. It'd been a smooth ride so far; we only fought once and it was over the DJ booking. The music for the party was the most important thing to me, because what was a party without a stellar setlist?

That being said, it was after a very long day spent with Sutton at her house, I was on my period, and I couldn't come to a decision about who we should book. She snapped at me, I snapped back, then we got over it and picked out a DJ together.

The one thing we couldn't and wouldn't agree on was the date. I picked the first of August because one, it was a Saturday which was perfect and two, it was the day before Gus and I left for our honeymoon that he booked back in February.

Sutton told me time and time again that we could change the date of the party because she knew just as much as I did that hopping on a plane to Honolulu at six in the morning the day after my wedding wasn't the greatest idea. I told her I'd rather kill the twelve-hour flight and the hangover with one stone.

Besides, if I could cure that hangover on Waikiki Beach instead of in my apartment, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Hawaii made everything better. Gus and I were living proof of that.

"You know what else I can't wait for?" Gus murmured, disrupting my thoughts. When I lifted my head so our gazes met again, I hummed for him to go on. He proved to be reading my mind, like always. "The week we get to spend in Hawaii after the wedding. Just me and you."

"It's gonna be fucking amazing. We haven't had a vacation to ourselves in..." my sentence fell flat as I searched my brain for the answer. I frowned when I found it. "Years."

"Shit, really?" His eyebrows scrunched together.

"Yeah," I said, shaking my head at how I never realized this before. "We went to Lake Placid for our five year anniversary and I'm pretty sure that's the only trip where it was just us. Every other time, we've been with our families or friends."

Gus shrugged. "Maybe that's been our problem all along. We never get to escape."

"True. There's never a dull moment with us, that's for sure," I chuckled in agreement.

"Well, I'll be on my most boring behavior for our honeymoon so you can have your dull moment," he mimicked me with an overdone eye-roll.

"You're so annoying," I mumbled.

"Doesn't say much for you 'cause you married me."

It was my turn to roll my eyes, but I couldn't hide my smile even if I tried. Instead of answering him, I leaned up on my toes to press our lips together, and the warm gooey feeling in my chest spread all over. It drove me to keep kissing him like the rest of the world no longer existed.

My arms looped around his neck to bring him closer while his fingers roamed my back. Up the length of my spine, then down to my ass for a loving pinch. When I parted my lips and swept my tongue over his, he tightened his hold on my hips, bunching up my dress in his hands.