she's my deity

and she's saving m e

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Gus and I didn't have a real "honeymoon" by definition and wouldn't have one for another six months, but that didn't stop us from diving headfirst into the honeymoon phase as if we started dating all over again. It was like a step back in time ever since I moved back home and truthfully, I never wanted it to end.

We were still the same old us. A couple of unrefined romantics with our own kind of love language that nobody else understood, making faces at blissed-out sweethearts and the epic tale of their relationship worthy of a Hallmark movie. Not much had changed and yet so much had changed at the same time. We were the most grown versions of ourselves to date, but it felt like we were just two dumb, smitten kids again.

Like when I'd sneak Gus into my room because I hadn't told my parents that we were seeing each other yet, methodical with our meetups so we didn't run into an extra pair of eyes. When we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves no matter how hard we tried, though we were always tactful about it since PDA was so not our thing. When we would do absolutely anything to get just even five minutes alone; driving in circles, hiding in bushes, leaving parties as soon as we'd arrived.

At the start of things getting serious between us – before Gus even asked me to be his girlfriend, before we had sex for the first time, before we knew what the future would ever hold for us, we'd spend hours huddled together under the blankets in his room. Sometimes we would talk and sometimes we would simply bask in the silence, but either way, it was totally innocent. Our own perfect little hideaway.

We were reliving our early years all over again. Just a much more adult version of them.

Once all the presents had been opened and we moved from the kitchen to the bedroom, it was like we were about to see each other naked for the first time. The way that Gus took my robe off with such careful expertise, you would have thought he was trying to crack the code to stop a ticking timebomb. How his fingers or his lips didn't skip over any stretch of skin, determined to touch every part of me whether it was physical or not. As if I could even imagine being so idolized by anyone else.

The light from the kitchen trickled through the half-open door into our dark bedroom, where our limp bodies lay in a woven mess of legs and sweat after some of the hottest sex we'd ever had. My fingertips traced the contours of Gus' arm that rested on top of the comforter, committing this moment of absolute peace to my memory since those times were sparse with us. His racing heart had finally started to dwindle back to normal, his dewy chest warm against my cheek. We were so close that every breath he took made the wispy hairs at the front of my head dance around.

Neither of us had really spoken much. I didn't want to disturb the mood, but my curiosity about a pretty crucial matter was at an all-time high. It had been for two weeks and I couldn't repress it much longer.

I used to be such a pro at holding my emotions in. I'd sooner die than let anybody know how I was really feeling. Ever since Gus told me that was one of my many shortcomings, now I cracked at the drop of a hat. I almost hated to admit that I was getting used to it.

"Hey," I said, my voice a notch above a whisper. "I have an idea."

"You wanna give me another blowjob? Wow, what a champ," he gushed, closing his arms around me and crushing me with them.

"Fuck off," I mumbled into his chest.

He started laughing as I wriggled out of his grip and I saw the teasing, lopsided smile on his face when I propped myself up on an elbow. "Kidding. I think I'm done for the night. Although maybe in like half an hour I could–"

"Do you wanna hear my idea or not?" I interrupted him. With a sigh, he gestured with the flick of his hand for me to go on. "I think we should watch the video from the night we... you know, got married."

Gus blinked, then without missing another beat, exclaimed, "Fuck yeah. Wait, you mean you've had it this whole time and you never watched it? Not even a minute of it?"

"No, I swear. I haven't even looked at how long it is," I told him. "For whatever reason, I've been putting it off, but I think this is something we need to do together."

"I couldn't agree more."

"Things have been so good and I want it to stay that way," I breathed out like that fact itself was the most relieving thing I had ever said. My gaze dropped from his and I barely heard myself when I rasped, "I don't want to be scared anymore."

"And you don't have to be," he urged as he tipped my chin up with one of his hands so I would look at him again.

His eyes intently searched mine and the only thing I saw in them was gleaming reassurance. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to swell even more than it already had, but now it was about to bust open and split me in two. My answer was leaning up and gently pressing my lips to his.

The video was on my phone, which was still in the kitchen. It wasn't a far distance at all, but the idea of leaving the warmth of our bed was probably the least appealing thing I could think of. Still, it was my idea, so I got my bare naked ass out of our room and in about ten seconds flat, I was back under the covers.

I sprawled out beside Gus and swiftly scrolled through my camera roll until I spotted the video, my lips pursing when I saw how long it was.

"Fourteen minutes... not bad. I don't know what I was really expecting," I mused, tapping on the blurred thumbnail to open it.

Gus nestled himself closer to me so he could get a better view. "Well, knowing Keone it's gotta be half-decent. He's an LA megastar, for Christ's sake. He must know something about good cinematography."

"That's probably the only thing he knows," I sneered as I turned my phone onto its side so the video filled the whole screen. "At least he had the decency to film it horizontally."

My thumb lingered over the play button in suspense. This was the moment of truth. At last, we were about to figure out what the hell happened that night. We were about to witness our wedding ceremony in all its messy, drunken, forgotten glory.

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, then I pressed play and the video started moving.

"Alright alright alright, here we go!" Keone's booming voice came through the speaker though he was nowhere to be seen, causing me to lower the volume so we wouldn't be deaf by the end. For a moment, all we saw was his lap wherever he was sitting until he finally straightened out his phone. We got a clear view of my feet on a shabby wooden floor from Keone's front-row seat in what looked like a dimly lit, slightly run-down chapel.

I saw my toes peeking out from the hem of my dress, knowing I only had on those dumbass barefoot sandals Sutton forced us to wear and no proper shoes. As the camera panned up, Gus and I stood before one another with a short, elderly man between us. He was tanned from head to toe, wearing all white with an orange lei around his neck.

Gus' jacket from his suit was draped over my shoulders, while his dress shirt was so rumpled it looked like he just pulled it out of the hamper. My hair was somehow curled from that morning, the lone orchid still behind my ear and the bouquet from Sutton's ceremony dangling from one of my hands.

Neither of us was paying attention to our surroundings. I swear I'd never seen two people look at each other that way; purely infatuated with the person standing in front of them and nothing else. I couldn't remember the last time I had a smile on my face like that.

"Look at these disheveled kids," Keone narrated, clucking in disapproval a few times. The tiny, well-dressed man in the middle of Gus and I – who I assumed was the officiant – was speaking, but we couldn't hear him over Keone's commentary. "Talk about being unprepared for the most special day in your life. Then again, this wasn't really my idea. I just had to say that so it's on record in case anyone tries to blame me. All I said was 'I know a guy' when these two were talking about getting married and boom – here we are. Keone can make dreams come true. And Reverend Henakai, obviously. I can do a lot of things but I can't marry anyone."

"Is he gonna talk about himself the whole time?" I snapped. "I'm trying to listen to what the guy is saying and this jackass won't shut up."

Gus chuckled at my impatience, then Keone cut in lowly, "Okay, the boring stuff is over. Time for the vows. I'll be quiet now."

Rolling my eyes, I bumped up the volume a little more so we could hear what Gus and I were about to say. This was the part I really couldn't wait for. Considering I whipped up my Maid of Honor speech on the fly at the wedding, these were about to be the most abnormal vows anyone had ever heard.

"Okay, listen... okay," I blurted first, already stumbling over my words and my feet even though I was standing perfectly still. I started using my hands to emphasize every word, my bouquet shedding flower petals all over the floor as I flung it around. A clear sign of the tequila working on me. "You're like– you're everything to me. You're my other half, my end game, and the only guy I want..." I trailed off to hiccup, the sound echoing in the chapel before I went on. "I love that you can read my mind like, all the time. I love that you're a really good cook and that you make grilled cheese with mayo on the bread instead of butter because it's so much better. I love how you always smell good"–another hiccup–"like even if you were at the gym and at work and didn't have time to shower, you still smell so good and I don't get it.

"You're super nosy and it's so annoying, but I kinda love it because it's your own weird way of showing that you care. You're strong and so good looking, and... and I love that you know how to handle money because I don't. You always keep me on toes and can still surprise me after all this time. And on Ziggy's behalf, I'm sorry that he ruins your shoes or your protein powder or whatever. I know you still love him no matter what. He's our baby. Man, I wish he was here." I paused as my mind wandered off for a moment, likely thinking about how much I missed our dog until I jolted back to reality. "Um, anyway... basically what I'm trying to say is I love you. Always."

As I concluded my declarations of love, Gus was snickering in my ear. "These are the most romantic vows I've ever heard."

"I really wish I remembered this," I groaned with a shake of my head, my cheeks blazing in embarrassment.

"I'm serious," he said, his tone softening in a way that caused a buzzing low in my stomach. "This is the most us thing we could ever do. Sutton and Koa's wedding was fucking awesome, but you know we're not like that. We're the complete opposite of them."

I didn't want to miss what was next, which were Gus' vows, so I just smiled and said, "You're right." Because he was.

In the video, Gus cleared his throat and straightened his posture as he stared right at me. The officiant nodded for his cue to start.

"Bayla... I don't ever want to know another day where you're not in my life," he began, and I already felt a gust of air escape from my chest. "I promise to be a better person, for you and for me. I'll do my best to start remembering things more because you always do it for me since my memory is shit." He came to a quick stop and glanced at the reverend to ask, "Can I curse? I'm sorry. We're from Philly, it's in our nature."

The man chuckled to himself and nodded again. "Proceed."

"Okay, cool," Gus grinned, his eyes latching back onto me. "As I was saying... I love that you always put family first before everything. Everyone that knows you knows how important your family is to you, and I am so lucky that they just accept me like I'm one of their own. I'm so glad you get along with my mom and my sisters, and that you tolerate my dad because you know how rocky our relationship is. We're working on it, though.

"I know I can be an asshole and I'm working on that too, but you're so full of forgiveness for me that there's no way I can possibly thank you. I don't think any other girl would put up with me for as long as you have. I know you always say you're a People Pleaser, but you're not, you just have the biggest fucking heart and you'd do anything for anyone you love. Don't get me wrong, you can be a bitch and you know it, but at the end of the day, you're the most amazing woman I've ever known." Behind the camera, Keone snorted in agreement that I was, indeed, a bitch. If anybody could attest to that, it was him.

"You're so sexy, you cook, you clean, you take care of the dog and me, and I mean what more could a guy really ask for in a wife? You're not perfect, but you're perfect for me and that's all that matters. I love you, Bayla... always."

The chapel went silent as his vows came to an end. So was our bedroom in real life.

"Well damn..." Keone said under his breath. "The guy has a way with words."

It took almost a whole fifteen seconds before the officiant kept the ceremony moving by announcing it was time for the ring exchange. I watched the video, with an open mouth and a slight stinging in my eyes, but I wasn't really listening. Keone started rambling again anyway while we quickly traded rings.

All I wanted to do was listen to Gus' vows over and over again.

I couldn't help but notice how his voice didn't waver the whole time. He didn't stutter, he wasn't even swaying as he stood.

Between the two of us, we drank the bar dry of its tequila at Sutton's reception. There wasn't a word in the English language that could describe how fucked up we were. I couldn't remember a single part of this ceremony and the only thing I could recall was us hooking up afterward in Gus' hotel room. How he managed to keep himself so professionally composed during his vows while I was falling apart at the seams next to him was mindblowing. And the million-dollar question – how the hell did he just whip all of that up off the top of his head?

The last two minutes of the video flew by. We were wearing our rings, the officiant gave his last few statements, and Gus was already kissing me by the time he said: "you may now–".

To my surprise, Keone started cheering so loud I had to turn the volume down yet again. The screen shook violently as he stood up, rushing over to shake hands with the reverend and thank him, then he spun around to find Gus and me with our arms around each other.

"Congrats, guys! You're now married. What do you have to say?"

"Best one hundred bucks I ever spent," Gus beamed. Molded to his side, I was giggling before Gus turned to me and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips.

Keone laughed to himself and as the two of us started trekking down the aisle to the doors, he turned the camera back on himself. He ran a hand through his bleached locks and flashed us his famous, impeccable smile that brought girls in LA to their knees.

"And that's a wrap! What a beautiful ceremony. I know Bayla hates me, but I'm so happy I could be here for this iconic moment. First, my best friend gets married, and now this? All in one day? I feel like I'm back on set, except next somebody would probably get shot or run over. Soapies, man." He shook his head as if these were normal problems that anyone could relate to. "If anyone dares to watch this, you're welcome. Keone makes dreams come true and brings couples back together. Bayla, Gus... I wish you a long, happy life as husband and wife. Ha, that rhymed! " His amusement disappeared as his eyes flashed to somewhere in the distance, widening as he screeched, "Oh, shit– wait for me!"

The screen froze, the play button reappeared, and that was it.

Gus didn't say anything, and neither did I. We kept staring at my phone that I held in mid-air as if the video were still playing, until I slowly brought my hands down and let it slide out of my grasp. It fell next to me on the blankets and my gaze momentarily fastened onto the window across the room.

"Well..." Gus exhaled, "that was... something."

Yeah, it was something alright.

I sat up and twisted around so we could face each other again and spat, "Were you sober during that?"

His eyebrows shot up and he cackled incredulously. "What? Bay, the open bar at the reception literally ran out of tequila because of us. No, I was not fucking sober."

"Are you lying?" I asked with narrowed eyes. He barked out another laugh in disbelief. "Come on, you saw the difference between your vows and mine. You looked like you rehearsed yours for weeks while I could barely get through three words without hiccuping."

"We drank the same amount. You're just more of a lightweight than I am."

I huffed, just slightly insulted because he wasn't wrong about that. "You seemed pretty damn coherent to me," I grumbled as I glanced away from him.

"Only a little," he said, which brought my eyes back to his. "I haven't been that fucked up in a long time. Like I definitely couldn't drive a car or walk in a straight line, but I could tell you how much I love you. Doesn't matter how much I drink, that's something I can always do."

I felt myself blushing for whatever reason as a grin inched its way across my face. I was never the swooning type, nowadays I didn't know what I was. As Keone said, Gus had a way with words. It wasn't always professionally poetic or appropriate or sophisticated, but it worked for me. He could be the least eloquent with it too, like tell me I was "the prettiest girl he'd ever fucking seen", and I would melt.

"Your vows were really sweet," I murmured. "No wonder why I slept with you that night. You could knock a girl right off her feet with those words."

His mouth tilted into that sideways smirk I adored to death as he said, "Your vows were hilarious, and while I have a better way with words than you do..." His gaze slowly dragged its way down to my breasts, fully exposed since my lingerie had been long gone by now. He couldn't hide the husky hint to his voice when he spoke up again. "You make me so fucking weak in the best way."

I stared at him, heavy-lidded and gnawing on my bottom lip just to prove him right. I did have the upper hand with temptation – Gus had no self-control when it came to me and we both knew it.

In an instant, he had me on my back as he hovered above me, my hands slithering up his arms to bring him closer to me because now I was weak. Already panting with a racing pulse that was painfully noticeable in my lower half.

"Round two?" Gus whispered, his lips mere inches from mine when I cracked a smile.

"I thought you were done for the night," I mocked him from earlier.

"With you? Not a chance in hell." At that throaty promise and the scalding heat held in his sapphire gaze, my breath hitched. The second my lips parted, he dipped his head and mumbled into my mouth, "We're just getting started."

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