it don't matter just as long as

i get all you t o n i g h t

〰️〰️〰️

"So I've been thinking about going to therapy."

On my phone screen, Collin was visibly taken aback by that announcement. His eyes blinked rapidly behind his glasses as he tried to digest the words, his mouth slightly hanging open in surprise.

We were previously talking about how yet another person we went to high school with had fallen victim to what we called Suburb Syndrome – getting engaged, buying houses, having babies all without leaving our hometown of Clearloft – so I couldn't blame him for his reaction. I brought it up out of absolutely nowhere.

"Oh," he squeaked, and I could tell just by the troubled sound that his mind was struggling to wrap itself around the sudden change of topic. "Okay then. Sure. Why not?"

"Just a thought. I don't know," I muttered then with a shrug.

"No, no. I think it's great," he scrambled to reply. "I'm a little shocked, is all. Where did this come from?"

My lips flattened before I answered. I wasn't about to disclose the fact that Gus was the reason. It was his personal business and even though Collin was like my own blood, that didn't give me the right to blab to him about it.

Still, him being my best friend meant that I wanted to vaguely run it by him and get some feedback. I knew he would be honest with me, which was exactly what I needed. I hadn't gone with Gus to any of his sessions yet and he wasn't pressuring me to do so, but I knew that sooner rather than later I would have to face the facts and go. We needed it.

I sighed, twirling a piece of my hair as I looked away from my phone. "This whole being married thing has made me realize that I really, really want Gus and I to work. This time it's gonna be different. We can't go back to the way we were. We're never gonna last if we do. We'll just... combust, or something. You know?" I explained. I looked back at the screen and saw him solemnly nodding. "I feel like it could help us a lot. I've heard good things about therapy, whether it's by yourself or as a couple. Figured it's worth a shot."

"Totally. I mean, you might as well try it. What do you have to lose? You guys have already hit rock bottom, so I don't think it can get much worse than it's been before."

"Yeah, you're right," I agreed as I propped my chin up with my hand and rested my elbow on the island. "I'll bring it up to Gus and see what he thinks. Although he's pretty willing to do anything for our relationship, so I can't see him saying no to the idea."

Collin's mouth quirked up in a knowing smirk. "Like I said, he'd die for you."

That much I knew, for certain.

It had been one week since Gus told me about therapy. I hadn't mentioned it to Collin, but then again I hadn't seen much of him since I moved out. Life had gotten hectic, yet again, so as soon as I got home from work and changed, I rang him with a Facetime request. I took a seat at a stool in my kitchen and hadn't moved since he picked up.

"So what do you think his reaction will be to your present?" He randomly asked.

"Oh, he's gonna love it," I grinned. "He might even faint."

"Was it worth skipping our weekly Wednesday dinner for?"

"Absolutely," I affirmed, and he sneered in mock offense to that. "Hey, if I didn't start the whole process now, I'd never get around to it. It'll take like, ten business days to get the card but since I leave for Milan on Sunday and I'll be gone the whole week, I figured I can just show him a copy of the application and he'll get the gist."

"I can't believe you guys never did Christmas gifts. It's fucking February." He shook his head disapprovingly. "You two are the most dysfunctional couple I know."

"That we are," I chuckled. Since Collin's face was taking up my phone's entire screen, I glanced over at the digital clock on the oven for a time check. When I saw 6:32 staring back at me, I almost gasped. How we had been on the phone for an hour when it felt like five minutes, I couldn't fathom. "Alright, I gotta go. Gus should be home any minute now."

"Are you ready?"

I nodded, a shaky breath escaping my lips as I said, "I am."

"Good luck," he chirped with a smile. "Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day."

"You too," I cooed, sending him the flirtiest wink that I could master. He hooted with laughter in response, obviously not phased by my seduction techniques, and we both hung up.

I set my phone down and finished off the little bit of red wine I had left in my glass, staring at the vase full of blushing roses that sat in the middle of the island. Somehow, Gus had snuck them there this morning as my first Valentine's surprise of the day and supposedly, that wasn't the end of it. That was all he told me right before he left for the gym this morning, and I hadn't seen him since.

My surprise for him on this romantic holiday was myself. I was draped on one of the stools with my legs crossed, my black silk robe wrapped around my torso with a dainty, lacy baby pink number hiding underneath. I had curled my hair before work so by now, it fell into loose waves just the way I wanted. I shaved all the vital parts of my body and was still working with my post-Hawaii tan that luckily hadn't faded yet which was a confidence boost in itself. Hell, I even exfoliated from head to toe when I showered last night. The only thing that wasn't necessarily sexy about me was my pair of shabby slippers on my feet, but fuck walking around barefoot on our cold hardwood floors.

Not only was it Valentine's Day, but we also decided to trade Christmas gifts tonight. It'd taken far too long and since I finally got mine for Gus this week, there was no better time to do it.

I was leaving for Milan Fashion Week early on Sunday morning, and I'd be gone for nine days. I had only been home from Hawaii for two weeks and I was already taking another week off of work, but this time was for a dream opportunity that didn't include my sister getting married. Or me, for that matter.

Donatella called both me and Nadia into her office on Monday and broke the news that all three of us would be attending Fashion Week. The flights were booked, the hotel secured, and all of the wheels were set in motion. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to jump around her office, whooping as if I was trashed at an Eagles pregame tailgate. Somehow I kept it together. I politely smiled, thanked her for the opportunity, and nodded whenever it was deemed necessary which was after her every sentence.

Unfortunately tomorrow, I had the monthly Saturday morning meeting at work to look forward to. Knowing that Fashion Week was just around the corner, it was destined to be a four-hour disaster. And because I didn't hate myself enough, I left the task of packing for Milan until the literal last minute. Tomorrow after the meeting, that was going to take up the remainder of my day. I wasn't kidding when I said life got hectic again.

As much as I would've liked to make a much bigger deal about our Valentine-Christmas hybrid holiday, like going out for a classy dinner or a mini-vacation of some sort, I didn't have those options. I was hoping that as soon as Gus walked in the door and saw me, he wouldn't mind just staying home.

Ziggy was snoozing on the couch in the living room, as he had been this whole time, but when the door handle jiggled, he groggily popped his head up in alarm at the sound. My heart thumped against my ribcage as if it bounced back to life after being inactive for ten years, the force strong enough to hear the rushing of blood in my ears. I leaned against the island, one hand resting on my bare knee while the other was under my chin, then on the counter, then up in the air again. Before Gus fully entered the apartment, I just settled my elbow on the granite and let my hand hang loose.

Clearly I was an expert at showcasing sex appeal.

All my efforts paid off at the look on Gus' face when his eyes latched onto me from across the room. His gaze was deadlocked on me like even if someone offered him a million dollars to look away, he wouldn't. Ziggy couldn't even distract him, who dashed off the couch and was butting Gus' knees with his head for a greeting.

A coy smile spread across my face and I batted my lashes at him as a bonus. Forget the tan lines – seeing Gus' tongue hanging out of his mouth at the sight of me was all the confidence-boosting I really needed.

"Hi there," I spoke up when he still hadn't moved from the doorway. I kept my fingers crossed that the low, sultry tone my voice took on was more inviting than it sounded in my head.

He finally let the door shut behind him, still overtly ogling me from head to toe as he took measured steps all the way until he stood before me. His gym bag was dangling on one of his shoulders while his work backpack was on the other. I would've been nervous that he hadn't said a word yet, but with the way his eyes were peeling apart my robe, I was more flattered than anything.

With a lustful glance, I purred, "Why don't we set these heavy bags down?"

Silently and simultaneously, he thrust the backpack onto the island and let his gym bag fall to the floor. I watched his eyes lower until they stopped at my feet for a few seconds, admiring my disgusting slippers with a breathy chuckle.

"You don't like it?" I gestured to myself with a dramatized frown.

"A-are you kidding?" He stammered, his gaze snapping up to mine now. The way the shade of blue darkened with undeniable desire had a streak of heat running right through my spine. "I... I can't even speak. I think that says it all."

"I know," I smirked, instantly changing my demeanor back to normal as I sat up and clapped my hands together. "So what'd you get me?"

He shook his head as he gave me a crooked, amused grin. "I guess that means you wanna open your gifts first?"

"Yeah, I want you to go last," I said, eagerly nodding my head. I couldn't even begin to predict what he got me, but I knew my present would knock him off his feet. And I had a feeling that after he saw it, my robe would come flying off in about two seconds and then I'd never get to open my gifts from him.

He unzipped the main part of his backpack and fished around inside of it until he pulled out a card. He handed it to me and started searching in the backpack again, telling me, "That's your Valentine's card. Open that first and then I'll give you the Christmas present."

Without another hesitation, I tore the envelope open and slipped the card out of it. It was bright red and on the front of it was a cartoon drawing of a grinning triceratops. In a speech bubble above its head, it boldly shouted: "I'M HORNY".

I snorted. "A natural-born charmer, aren't you?" I took a moment to glance up at him and he paused his hunt through his backpack to suggestively wag his eyebrows. Ignoring him, I flipped open the card now and a folded piece of paper fell onto my lap.

Internally, I was laughing at how we were practically the same person. We both had raunchy cards and pieces of paper as gifts.

After I read the message inside the card, which was inevitably wishing me to have the happiest Valentine's Day followed by a handwritten note from Gus that was somehow vulgar and yet adorable at the same time, I unfolded the paper.

At the top of it was the American Airlines logo. Underneath was "Your Trip Confirmation". Under that was the flight number, the departure date from Philadelphia and the arrival in Honolulu. It was for the first week of August – more specifically, the week of my birthday.

My eyes frantically scanned the rest of the sheet until it cut off right before the flight receipt. There wasn't anything else too useful on there other than a reminder of what not hazardous items to bring and how to do automatic check-in. It was pretty clear what this piece of paper meant, but my brain still couldn't comprehend it.

I gazed up at Gus with an open mouth, just as he had done to me when he walked into our apartment and saw my scanty outfit. "What is this?" I asked, stupidly.

"Well, we never got a real honeymoon. One day in Hawaii wasn't enough, that may I remind you, you spent sleeping and cursing me out. I think we deserve something a little better than that, don't you?" He said it like it was common knowledge, like I easily could've guessed that this would have been his present to me.

I struggled to find my voice. I must have looked from the paper to Gus at least a dozen times as if that was going to help me solve some grand mystery. Gus was just smiling at me the whole time like I was the most mesmerizing thing he'd ever seen.

I was in complete awe. Is this a dream? What the fuck is going on?

This was so far beyond any expectations I had. It stunned me so much that everything I kept saying was downright moronic. Any other girlfriend or wife probably would have jumped up to hug their man and cried tears of pure joy. I was the offbeat girl that didn't know how to properly display her emotions and had the worst, most anticlimactic reaction to a gift like this.

"So we're going for my birthday?" I asked yet another dumb question.

"Your birthday, Valentine's Day, our honeymoon," Gus listed off the reasons so casually. "It's whatever you want it to be. A multitude of celebrations."

My gaze found his again and an ear-to-ear smile broke through my confused expression. At last, it kicked in what was going on.

I'm going to fucking Hawaii for my honeymoon on my birthday week.

"Gus... holy shit," I wheezed, "I don't– I don't know what to say."

"Say that you'll come with me," he cheekily supplied.

"Obviously. I'd be stupid to say no," I answered, girlish giggles bubbling out of me because I couldn't physically contain my excitement anymore. Before I completely crushed the card and paper with my fidgety fingers, I put them down and beamed up at him. "Thank you. I'm speechless. This is like, the best gift ever."

"You're welcome," he murmured before he pressed a quick kiss to my lips. "Your other surprise is getting to have your way with me tonight, which I mean"–he pointed to himself with a cocky, lopsided smirk–"that probably would have been a good enough gift. The trip to Hawaii was just an added perk."

I playfully rolled my eyes. "Uh-huh, sure. Now gimme the Christmas present so I can give you yours."

"Damn, somebody's impatient," he teased, reaching into his backpack and revealing a black and white square gift box. He slowly handed it over to me and added, "Just saying, I bought this way before Nadia got you that scarf from Italy, but it'll go perfectly."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I yanked off the black ribbon that was tied around the box and gasped when I saw Gucci printed in its place.

"You didn't..." I whispered, gawking at the box.

"I don't know what I did. You'll have to open it and see."

The top of the box went flying and my hands went digging through the mass of the tissue paper like a demon suddenly possessed me. As soon as I caught a flash of gold hardware, I snatched it out of the box. For the second time tonight, my jaw dropped.

A red snakeskin card case wallet was sitting in my palms, the iconic gold double G logo on the front saluting me. My mouth was still ajar as I snapped the wallet open to inspect the inside. Made of a rich, buttery, blood-red leather with card slots on one side and a zippered pocket on the other. A tiny Gucci was stamped on the leather with Made in Italy underneath of it.

"Holy fucking shit," I croaked.

My mouth went dry just thinking of the price tag. I knew just how much this wallet cost; almost as much as one plane ticket to Hawaii. I knew because I had looked at it during one of my many online shopping sprees that never amounted to anything. They often started out of boredom and ended with a dozen abandoned carts.

"You don't like it?" Gus mimicked me from earlier in a tiny voice.

"Gus, what the fuck? Are you insane?" I spat, and he bristled at my outburst. Again, I was the queen of having the worst reactions. "Between this and the trip to Hawaii... it's too much. Do you have any money left? Are you going bankrupt now?"

"It's not about the money," he insisted with an eye-roll. "I'd sell my soul to see that fuckin' crazy beautiful excited glow in your eyes. Besides, you kept complaining about needing a new wallet and I thought you might like this one."

"Like it? I'm obsessed with it. You know I easily would have died for this."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but then I thought about life without you and I figured it'd be easier if I just bought it for you."

"I'm a shit wife," I mumbled as I carefully put the wallet back in the box and placed it next to his backpack. I grabbed the manila envelope I had set aside with my card for him and slid it over. "My Valentine's gift to you is me, but here's a dumb card and your Christmas present."

"You looking like this is enough. I don't even need the presents," he said in a rumbling tone, parting my legs and stepping between them as his hands reached for my hips.

In a swift denial, I swatted his hands away. "Trust me, you're gonna want to see what's in the big envelope."

"Fine," he huffed, begrudgingly grabbing the small pink envelope first that held my Valentine's card for him. He ripped it open and cleared his throat, then theatrically read it aloud as if he were on a Broadway stage. "I'll always be by your side." He recited what was on the front, then opened it and continued with the inside. "And under you. And on top of you. And wherever else you want me to be. Happy Valentine's Day. I love you." Another pause as his heated, hungry gaze met mine. "Always."

I could barely control my ditzy, idiotic grin as I put my flattened hand on the manila envelope and pushed it closer to him. He wanted to pick it up, but stopped when he spied the shiny piece of plastic garnishing my left ring finger.

"You're wearing your ring," he noted breathlessly like the sight of it just blew his mind.

Naturally, I replied with, "Yeah." Although my elated expression completely contrasted my indifferent tone. "It's growing on me. I'm still a little reluctant on wearing it everywhere until we break the news to everybody, but I have to admit I'm liking it so far."

I was acting pretty apathetic toward the confession. Truth was, ever since Gus told me about therapy, I'd been feeling optimistic about us, which was a foreign emotion. I was getting used to it and honestly, it was fucking amazing. To not be constantly walking on eggshells around our relationship, wondering when the next blowup would be was so relieving. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like that.

We were going to make this work. I refused to doubt it. Even if we had to take baby steps, like wearing our rings more often, I'd do it. I was starting to realize I would do anything for us. For better or for worse, just like I assumed we said.

As if I'd sucked all of his energy out of him, Gus exhaled, "God, I am so in love with you."

If we were in a comic strip, I'd have a dozen hearts floating around my head and two more bursting out of my eyes while looking at him.