once upon a time, it was made for us

woke up one day, it had turned to d u s t

〰️〰️〰️

"Open up, jackass!"

My fist hit the door to Keone's room at 5:50 the next morning in a constant stream of impatient knocks that I didn't plan on stopping until he was awake.

I needed answers. As much as it killed me to willingly take time out of my day to talk to him – especially at such an early hour at the tail end of my vacation – I needed to clear some things up. Like why he was the sole witness at my "wedding", why of all people he was the one I went to for help in this situation, or why he let us go through with it in the first place. Afterwards, he could happily go back to LA where I'd never see him and I could go back to my life in Philly.

He was missing in action from dinner last night and if he had been there, I wouldn't be at his room right now, ten minutes before I was supposed to be on my way to the airport. If I wasn't in the lobby at six o'clock sharp, I knew my mother would hunt me down and throw me into a taxicab herself. Until then, I had just enough time to interrogate a very hungover Keone about what happened this weekend.

"Fuckin' stop. Christ, I'm coming." His grating voice weighted with fatigue came from the other side of the door. I kept pounding on it like he never even answered, purely just to keep aggravating him.

Seconds later, the door swung open. There, stood the shirtless heartthrob, with one hand on the wall for support and the other cupping his forehead in agony. Whether he was actually in pain or just acting, I couldn't tell. There was a towel slung around his hips, but his shaggy mop of bleached hair wasn't wet in the slightest. The only assumption I had was he slept naked, and that was a mental image I could've gone my whole life without seeing.

He perked up when he recognized it was me, a satirical smirk twisting at the corners of his lips as he belted, "Oh, hey! It's the new Mrs."

"Shut up."

"Yikes," he grimaced. "Married life not treating you well?"

"I don't have time for your banter," I said blandly, glancing down at my phone to double check the time. "You have eight minutes to explain to me why you took me to get eloped on Friday night. I don't remember anything, but I do know you were there. Spill."

He made a show of yawning and stretching his arms like he was shooting a hot-guy-wakes-up scene for his soap opera. It was his way of working at my nerves because he knew that I found him to be the most intolerable person on the planet. I couldn't let him see me crack, so I gave him a blank stare while he wasted one whole minute. He realized I wasn't falling for it and hummed.

"Well from what I remember, I was working on getting one of the bridesmaids to come up to my room after the reception and I ran into you and Gus at the bar. You were talking about getting married, so I just said 'hey, I know a guy'. Then you literally begged me to take you to him, so we went. That's pretty much it," he told me with a halfhearted shrug and bored look on his face. "Nothin' too crazy, but I did get it all on video."

"There's a video?" I hissed through my teeth. He just crookedly smiled in response. "Okay, I need you to send it to me. Right fucking now."

As if my blood pressure hadn't been unstable enough on this trip, the fact that Keone had recorded probably one of the most important moments in my life that I had zero recollection of made my brain spin inside my head. If it wasn't so damn early and I wasn't already miserable for having to leave this beautiful island, I probably would've had him in a chokehold. I didn't have the energy for that, so I settled on using my words instead.

His eyes lowered at me, albeit teasing and a little menacing. "Why should I? You're nothing short of unpleasant whenever you're around me. Besides, I like being the proud possessor of your wedding video. Gives me a sense of power."

"Why should you?" I mimicked. "Because if you don't, I'm gonna kill you, then steal your phone and send it to myself. Your choice."

I watched his jaw tighten in response to my threat. Then the door shut in my face.

Motherfucker.

Just as I lifted my fist to bang on the door until my knuckles bled, it flung opened again. Keone casually leaned a shoulder against the frame with his phone in his hands, scrolling and typing quickly on the screen. These Hawaiian's and their laid back attitudes made me realize how badly I needed to get back to the hustle and bustle of my city life.

"Can I just AirDrop it to you? It's gonna take forever over text," he suggested, taking a moment to look up at me.

"I don't care, just send it."

He chuckled to himself as he peered down at his phone. "Gus is a very lucky man."

Lucky to be alive, I thought.

We stood in silence while I waited for the AirDrop to come through. The time at the top of my phone switched to 5:57. Ten minutes had never gone by so fast in my life. Like clockwork, a text from Collin popped up to say that my mom was ready to throttle somebody if I wasn't in the lobby in three minutes. He wasn't exaggerating – we both knew I was the one she'd be throttling.

I opened my mouth to bitch at Keone again when a notification appeared asking to accept the video he wanted to share with me. The blurry thumbnail gave me no clues on what to expect, whether it was a two minute disaster or a twenty minute major motion picture. It left me even more curious that I thought I'd be.

"You're welcome," he cooed once I accepted the AirDrop. My narrowed eyes darted up to see a shit-eating, impeccably straight grin. "Have fun being married."

"Have fun trying not to get poisoned or shot on your soapy. I think everybody dies on those eventually," I fired back, mocking his smug expression.

Hoping that those would be the last words spoken between us until hell froze over, I sped down the hallway before he could reply. With my suitcase rolling behind me and my overstuffed backpack nagging the muscles in my shoulders, I heard him call out to me once more.

"Tell the hubby I said hi!"

My first instinct was to shout some sort of obscenity or insult, but I tripped over my own feet when I turned the corner and saw Gus standing by the elevator. We spoke an hour ago via text after I woke up to pack in the most slipshod manner possible, informing him that I needed to make a pitstop at Keone's room before we left. I practically begged him to wait in the lobby with the rest of my family in the meantime – clearly he didn't listen.

He was too preoccupied with his phone to notice me at first, so when he finally did he tipped his head at me for an informal greeting. I furrowed my brows in question and started walking over to him, silently wondering what he was doing.

"I thought you were downstairs already," I said as I gave him a once-over. He wore those gray joggers to death on this trip, though I guess I could say the same about myself and his shirt that unsurprisingly, I was wearing.

He pressed the button marked with an arrow pointing down and shook his head. "Nah, 'course I waited for you. I know your mom and I wouldn't want you facing her alone. If you're late, we're both late."

It was stupid, but it made my heart warm in the weirdest way.

"At least we'll die together," I quipped.

The doors parted with a chime and before I could take one step, Gus grabbed the handle of my suitcase from me and wheeled our luggage into the elevator. I squeezed myself beside him, then reached over to tap the button for the lobby as we made our descent.

"Why'd you need to talk to Keone?" He asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice that I couldn't blame him for being there.

"I wanted to find out why he took us to get married, then I got distracted because apparently he filmed the whole thing. I never really got an answer but I did get the video."

"Holy shit, there's a video?" He gaped at me, and I nodded. "Well, at least now you can't argue with me that it didn't happen because we have concrete proof that it did."

I turned away from him to roll my eyes, though a smile was pushing its way through my lips. He must've seen it from the reflection in the mirrored doors and in return, nudged my shoulder with his.

The elevator came to a gradual stop when we hit the first floor and I could already hear my family through the closed doors. We really couldn't go anywhere without being the most disruptive crowd of people.

My entire body stiffened in preparation for whatever we were about to walk up to. Gus noticed and leaned down to kiss the side of my head, then took both of our suitcases as he led the way into the lobby.

Just as I predicted, my mother was marching in circles like a madwoman with her phone attached to her ear. From the vibrations of my own phone, I already knew she was trying to call me. Collin was standing with my brothers and Madelyn, Sutton and Koa were talking to one set of my grandparents, and the other set were comforting my dad who was having one of his pre-flight episodes.

Even the Monahan's, who were on a completely different flight than ours that took off in a few hours, waited on the side with more poise than I'd ever have in my life. Gus had the luxury of using the ticket my mom initially bought for him when she got them months ago, before everything got fucked up and we were still together. At this rate, I would've eagerly traded my family for his.

It took my mom all of three seconds to spin around and lock eyes with me. She calmly put her phone down and tucked it into the pocket of her pastel blazer, not even sparing a second to look away from me. I saw the shaking of her head before I ducked behind Gus' shoulder in an attempt to hide from her.

"Along with being a husband, I guess I'm a human shield now too," Gus said to me under his breath.

"Well what else are you good for?" I retorted jokingly as I clung to his bicep. He just chuckled to himself.

"Say your goodbyes," my mom barked out over every other voice in the lobby and every conversation came to a halt. "I'll hail the taxis in the meantime. We need enough to transport a gaggle of Barclay's and I'm not about to wait twenty minutes for you all. Get moving."

With that, she stormed out of the hotel, leaving the rest of us to take the hint that we needed to get these farewells to the newlyweds done as fast as possible. Everyone scattered.

Gus and I went to Koa first, and then Gus' family. I could've spent an hour talking with Mrs. Monahan about literally anything, but we kept it short and sweet since she knew we were on a time crunch. She told me she'd call me once we were home, and I didn't realize how much I missed that.

While we waited our turn to say goodbye to Sutton, I watched Duncan approach her for a hug. I swore anyone within a three-mile radius could sense how awkward it was.

Sutton was a supposed "homemaker", the kind that hosted Tupperware parties with all of the wives and mothers in her neighborhood, but she really should have been a detective. She promised me she'd find Duncan and Valerie, and she did. Thankfully at separate times and places.

My brother claimed to have been surfing with Asher all day when he ran into Sutton on the hotel's outdoor beachfront patio. The snake said she was at the spa, then got some shopping done. The excuses were enough to appease Sutton for the time being. She didn't believe it and I wasn't sure if I did either.

She hardly spoke to either of them as the entire wedding party (sans Keone), my family, the Monahan's, and Collin went out for our final dinner at the restaurant across the street. It was a hell of a last celebration, to say the least. Duncan and Valerie sat on complete opposite ends, we guzzled all the wine they had to offer, and Koa had to guide my dad out at the end of the night after he put away a dozen beers and started making a drunken speech. How I wasn't hungover today was beyond me.

Once the most uncomfortable goodbye in history was over, Sutton pranced up to me and took me in her arms, rocking us back and forth.

"I can't believe it's all over. I'm gonna miss you so much!" She caroled into my ear.

"You mean you're gonna miss torturing me?" I corrected her.

"Exactly."

"You're the worst."

She pulled away, keeping her hands on my shoulders and squeezing them. A fond smile spread across her face as she looked between Gus and I. "You don't know how happy I am that you guys are back together. This is like, a dream come true," she gushed.

If only she knew just how back together we were, she wouldn't be this happy. What she doesn't know for now won't hurt her. Or me.

"Yeah, thanks again for announcing it at dinner last night," I remarked, smirking bitterly. "That's exactly how I wanted to break the news to everybody."

Sutton couldn't have made a bigger fuss about it if she wanted to. She stopped mid-conversation, stood up, and tapped her spoon against her wine glass as if she didn't already have all eyes on her. With as much inflection as a news anchor with a groundbreaking story, she told our entire table about my rekindled relationship. In front of parents, friends, siblings, and the like.

It goes without saying that everyone lost their shit. Collin was the only one that appeared cavalier at the revelation, slumped in his chair and sipping his hard cider with a look in his eyes like he already knew. Like I've always said, he's the most perceptive person I had ever met, so it wouldn't have surprised me if he predicted all of this.

Sutton slapped her hands on my shoulders a couple times, as a way of saying you're welcome. "I'll call you when we get home from the honeymoon. Maybe we can get lunch or something," she said with a glimmer of hope.

"Sure." I nodded.

She did the same, then launched herself onto Gus in an overbearing embrace. I heard her tell him, "Take care of my sister, but make sure she takes care of you, too."

I saw the sly curve to his lips when he sent me a glance over her shoulder. "Oh, I will."

The exchange of sentimental wishes and hugs was interrupted by my mother screeching into the lobby that the taxis had arrived, which resulted in Asher unapologetically hollering "cabs are here!" We all thought it was hilarious, except for the elders who had no reason to ever watch Jersey Shore.

My grandmother, the next person in charge who was a much friendlier version of my mother, corralled our group and escorted us outside. She ordered "the kids" into one minivan and the adults into another. I plopped myself into the back row with Gus, and let myself fall asleep on his shoulder as many times as I could until we were back in Philly.

〰️〰️〰️

Twelve hours of flying with my family and no alcohol was involved. I had to admit, I was pretty proud of myself. Any other time I would have driven myself into a daze of whiskey and kept my fingers crossed that I'd go unconscious. Now, my method was sleeping.

I slept through the first flight, took a break to eat during our layover in LAX, then slept for the entirety of the second flight as well. It was just past midnight when we landed in Philly, where the temperatures had dropped below freezing and I'd commit murder to feel the warmth of the island one last time.

There was nothing quite like coming home after a trip and having every emotion sucked out of you except for miserable. That one always hit like a slap across the face. It was even worse when it was late, cold, and in Philly. The melancholy spirit in each passenger was as palpable as the germs swarming us on this winged hellhole.

"Hey." I heard Gus whisper as he politely nudged me awake. "We're home."

I groaned in return.

His shoulder I was resting on wriggled beneath my head, forcing me to sit up. I could only crack one eye open as I looked over at him, and through my bleary vision I saw the amusement on his face.

"Glad I gave you the window seat for both flights and you just slept through it all," he said with a shake of his head. "So ungrateful."

I yawned before scoffing, "That's your fault. I didn't ask you to take the middle seat."

"I thought I was being good husband material, but I guess not."

"Shut up." I ground my teeth, jerking my head back as a gesture to my brothers sitting in the row behind us.

He rolled his eyes. "We're gonna have to tell them all eventually."

"Okay, but not today," I said, fumbling to find my phone in the pocket of my leather jacket. As soon as I found it and turned off airplane mode, texts and notifications flooded the screen. The only one that mattered was from Jax, sent an hour ago.

It was picture of Ziggy curled up in his lap on what looked like the couch in their living room, followed by a text that said Zig is so excited to see mom!

I gasped obnoxiously, and the stranger sitting next to Gus glanced at me. Collin in the row across from us heard it too and raised an eyebrow in my direction, but I just waved him off.

"I could fucking cry. Look at our baby," I crooned as I shoved my phone into Gus' hands, and he smiled at the photo. "He's the only thing worth coming back to this shit hole for. If it wasn't for him, or Donatella, I would have stayed in Hawaii."

"Thanks," he said flatly, handing my phone back to me.

"I guess you're worth it, too."

My attention went right back to my phone to answer Jax. The only appropriate response was every color heart emoji and some crying faces. He laughed and told me he was waiting in one of the parking lots to pick us up, and that he brought someone special with him.

I left the rest of my texts unread, which were mostly from Nadia who was still in Milan. At this rate, I didn't know have the capability to figure out what time it was there so I figured it'd be better to leave her alone until the morning. Work in nine hours was the last thing on my mind, and unfortunately she was a harsh reminder of it.

When I lifted my head and noticed the girl sitting next to Gus suddenly stand, I tilted my chin in her direction. "Get up. It's our turn."

He pursed his lips at me, then all of his joints cracked when pushed himself up. We filed out of our row and I was met with a tired, stony-faced Collin in the adjacent row, waiting for me to get out of the way so he could follow us down the aisle. It could have meant a lot of things, but the fact that he said nothing perturbed me even more.

I trailed behind Gus the whole way until everyone in our party met by the carousels for baggage claim which were teeming with antsy travelers. As if they were the only ones that wanted to get their shit and go home while the rest of us dreamed about just aimlessly standing around the airport.

My mom's navy blue suitcase was the first to come tumbling down the conveyer. It was pretty unmistakable as the only piece of luggage without a single scratch on it, even after having it for decades. With one hand, she plucked it out of the rotating pile and inspected the tag for a moment that was written in her standard crisp penmanship. My dad knew better than to help the woman who could seemingly do everything herself, but he still stood by her in case she asked him for a favor.