there ain't much that's dumber

than pinning your hopes

on a change in a n o t h e r

〰️〰️〰️

"Oh, fuck, not again!"

The roaring profanity, followed by the trotting of paws and a heap of weight landing on the end of my bed, was what woke me up.

I wasn't surprised. If anything, I'd be surprised if something along those lines wasn't my wake-up call. It had become my alarm clock over the last few months, maybe even the last year or two. That feature on my phone was completely useless when my apartment was a goddamn circus.

I flipped over onto my right side, facing the middle of the bed that was occupied by cold, wrinkled sheets instead of a body. The only soul in sight was my dog curled up by my feet, his black and white dotted fur pairing adorably with my baby pink bedding. A sleepy smile spread across my lips at his daily I-didn't-do-it face, brown eyes glassy and the very tip of his tail wagging as if to apologize.

"I know, Ziggy. Good morning to you, too," I murmured as I reached my hand out to scratch his head.

Our moment of peace was too soon shattered, like clockwork.

"Bayla!"

I let out a groan, the noise between audible and under my breath just so Gus could barely hear me from where he was in the kitchen. "What?" I dramatically whined, glaring at our pop art style poster on the wall as if that were his face.

When he didn't respond, I knew he wanted me to come out. I knew our routine all too well – I knew him all too well.

Six years, seven months, and however many days got you used to a lot.

With every ounce of energy I had in me at just after six o'clock in the morning, I literally rolled out of bed and dragged my feet the entire way, to see Gus waiting for me at the island in the middle of our kitchen. Dropping myself at one of three stools, I propped my chin up with my hands, resting my elbows on the polished white countertop. His eyes were already on me when I looked over at him standing on the other side.

Sapphire blue. Cold, hard, just like the stone. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"What?" I asked again, forcing exasperation into the word.

His manicured, stubble-coated jaw clenched and he jerked his head towards the door. "Your goddamn dog chewed up my shoes again," he uttered as if it were the end of the world.

I hummed in thought, pushing back in my stool to see a pair of Nike sneakers strewn by the door, one upside down and the other with the tongue hanging out. I wanted to laugh, but I knew that wouldn't make the situation any better. Instead I sighed, albeit overdone and drawn out.

"Just be glad they weren't your Saint Laurent's," I pointed out optimistically, knowing what a dent those boots put into his bank account and how much he loved them. Probably more than any material item in his life.

"Doesn't mean I don't care about those sneakers," he sneered with a subtle eye-roll.

"And this is my problem, why? You're the one that always leaves your shoes out when you know he chews them when he's hungry," I brought up for probably the thousandth time over the two years that we've had Ziggy. "Did you give him his breakfast?"

I didn't get an answer. Gus grumbled something to himself and spun around to search through the cabinet that we kept all the dog supplies in. At the distinct click that couldn't be mistaken for anything else but the opening of Ziggy's food container, he came galloping out of our bedroom and stopped on a dime by Gus' feet.

With a smug smile on my face and my arms crossed, I watched as Gus put the full food bowl in its usual spot on the floor at the end of the island and Ziggy went in like he hadn't eaten in a week. To be honest, he ate like that every time we put food in front of him, but he loved to act like we deprived him. Especially whenever my dad was around who physically couldn't resist giving him treats.

Gus' eyes met mine when he stood up straight, his lips flat and mine twisted upwards.

"Problem solved," I chirped.

He blinked, and then he briskly made his way into our bedroom without another word.

Ziggy's relentless crunching on his food filled our apartment. He wagged his tail, not stopping to take a breath when I glanced down at him once he noticed my presence. All I could do was smile and rub his head, before I went back in the bedroom too.

Gus was sitting on the very edge of his side of the bed, his body slouched as he scrolled through his phone. His back to me was a view I had memorized better than his front side. Every curve and indent of his muscles, the hair at the nape of his neck that always grew out a little lopsided, and the ornate cross tattoo on his right shoulder blade that was hidden by his shirt at the moment. I knew it all better than I cared to admit.

I breezed by him to our connected bathroom and started getting ready for the day, despite my rude awakening and the lack of caffeine in my system. I was off to walk the dog, and Gus was off to the gym. Then we'd both be off to work.

There were a few sounds that described a morning at our place. Dog food and water being lapped up in the kitchen at record speed. Gus clearing his throat because his allergies were always worse right when he woke up. Sink water running in the bathroom as I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and so on. Air conditioning timely ticking on in the summer, or heating in the winter.

It was quiet, it was awkward, but it was customary. Some days it was noisy, and chaotic, and draining, but it was us. There was no in between with us.

I fixed my tangled waves into a high ponytail, since it was obvious from my hair that I'd slept restlessly. My roots were long overdue for a highlighting touch up, but I convinced myself that it wasn't as noticeable if my hair was up. I just didn't have the time, nor did I want to spend the money, on a hair appointment.

Leaving the bathroom with a bare face, I found Gus in the same spot I had left him in. I ignored him as I strolled over to our shared closet – and by shared, I meant a majority of my things dominating the space, with Gus' stuff jammed in wherever it could fit. It was the only thing that we never had a problem with. He was well aware as soon as we moved in together that I had more clothes and shoes than I knew what to do with, but he wasn't any better. Between the two of us, we were a couple of shopping-obsessed, closet-cleaning-illiterate idiots.

I wasn't sure why I pretended to think about what I was going to wear when I knew workout leggings and an oversized t-shirt was my pre-work, post-pajama uniform. So I grabbed both of those out from their respective places and changed.

Gus left the room while I was mid-switching my shirt, his footsteps soft and careful. They were the opposite of what his mood was like. I heard the zipper on his gym bag open, and by the time I was dressed and walking into the kitchen again, it was closed and draped on his shoulder.

He shoved his phone in the pocket of his mesh shorts and looked at me, our eye contact fleeting as I got Ziggy ready for our walk. I took his collar and harness off their hook on the wall by the door and slipped them on his fidgeting body. When I made the move for his leash, he was spinning in circles with excitement. I grinned while watching him, glad that at least one of us was in good spirits this morning.

I could feel Gus' eyes on me, scrutinizing my every move. Once I was sure the harness was on properly and the leash was securely attached, I stood up and dared to take a glance across the room.

A cold, callous gaze, just as I suspected. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Gus cleared his throat and rounded the island, pausing a mere few feet in front of me. I took notice of the sneakers on his feet, an older pair I hadn't seen in a while since his go-to's got chewed on by our Dalmatian.

"Seriously, if your dog does that to me again, I'm kicking it the fuck out," he said mercilessly, not a hint of sarcasm in his husky, sleep-deprived voice.

My eyebrows shot up at his words, a cutthroat smile stretching across my lips because he knew I was just as good at this game as he was. Being the second youngest of four kids prepared me for any argument. Knowing every little goddamn thing about Gus, more than I knew myself, meant knowing how transparent we could be when it came to arguing.

Our fights never really meant anything. Words were said – harsh words, at times – but they'd only ever mean something when followed by an action.

Actions were never followed through. Until then, I'd never actually believe us.

"If you threaten me like that again, I'm getting the fuck out," I spoke carefully, concise in the wording of my ultimatum.

I knew he could survive without me just fine. With a higher paying entry level job than most in the finance field, he'd be fine for quite some time. He came from money, he would always be fine. But could I survive without him?

I was always too afraid to think too much about that answer.

Our stare-down only lasted for another minute or so before I was the first to break away and look down at my patient puppy. His whole body shook as he wagged his tail, waiting for my command. "Come on, Ziggy. Let's go for our walk," I cooed, my tone sickeningly sweet just to irritate Gus that much more.

I was out the door before anymore empty threats could be issued.

So I was off to walk the dog, and Gus was off to the gym, then we'd both be off to our separate work places. And that was our kind of morning.

〰️〰️〰️

- ahhh you guys this is so exciting the first chapter is up!!!! i'm always a bundle of emotions when i start posting a new story. it's overwhelming lol. but here we ARE. what do you THINK??? thoughts on our new MC and her beloved BF???? i know it's short but this is pretty much exactly how i wanted it to start. the chapters will vary in length and they all won't be this short, no worries.

i'd say this is a little different from my normal stuff, but it's not totally out of my comfort zone. there are a handful of characters in this story too but i'll try to make it as easy to follow along as possible. don't want y'all getting too confused lol. there is always the aesthetics page to reference too as well.

ALRIGHT i'll stop rambling now before i get way too off topic. thank you so much for embarking on this new journey with me. i am so excited and i hope you are too. love ya lots.

xoxo, sabbbycat