Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

Dear Dad,

I know there's no way to really send this to you, but I still couldn't quell the urge to write this so here I am writing it as I sit so Clove can do my hair. And I know you're watching and can see what I'm talking about but I'm going to write this like you don't know what's happening.

How's Carrie doing? I'm glad she passed peacefully and didn't suffer too much. Asher's been able to let go and move on. He took nearly two weeks to do it, but I don't blame him, losing parents is hard.

I miss you. I mean, how could I not? We spent so many years together and have so many happy memories. Even though the pain of losing you has lessened over these four years, it still doesn't disappear and I know it never completely will. I didn't want to write this to be sad so I'm gonna move on, if that's okay.

I'm nervous but I think I'm doing pretty good.

Most people are overtaken by stress and nerves on their wedding day. I remember Dean was. Scott was. Hell, Killian was fretting for hours the night before his big day. And as predicted, Zaine expressed his... worry in a slightly different way. I remember his rambles claiming, "Who would he move on to after me? I would hope he's into spirits because I'd kill him if he backs out now."

Yet I don't really feel that bad. Sure, I'm nervous, but I'm not on the same level of, "Oh my goddess everything is going to go horrible."

I know Asher and I don't really need to get married but we're going to anyway, to make it official for everyone to see, werewolf, witch, warlock or human.

I wish you could be here, Dad. I remember dreaming about what my wedding day would be like if I had one. I never dreamt you wouldn't be here... Wait no that's sad and I said no sadness.

I think everything is ready and as perfect as we can get.

Clove is my maid of honour, my bridesmaids are Heaven, Astrid, Lily and Quira. Raiden is Asher's best man (of course), while Scott, Dean, Killian and Zaine are the groomsmen. I think the idea of Chase being the ring bearer and Rhea being the flower girl was great and I'm sure they'll be amazing. (I think Killian is still a little pouty because we aren't going to dress Chase as Frodo Baggins.)

Part of me is nervous about my wedding dress choice, but the other part of me still loves it. I mean, red and white will stand out. Red is a passionate colour and the colour of fire.

The ceremony is going to be by the lake near the heart of the territory and the reception is at the meeting hall where we spent New Year's Eve. Clove assures me that everything is set up and looks fine but I still worry.

Killian and Zaine are supposed to be back just in time for the ceremony (if you're wondering, we mind-linked them for advice on things we needed advice on). I bet Greece was beautiful. I want to ask them to share some memories through the mind-link later, see if it's a place I could try and convince Asher we should visit.

Asher's friendship with King still exists. I'm still not really happy about it but I won't intervene if it makes Asher happy, I'll just make it known I still don't like King.

My title of the Rogue Queen still stands. My rogues are still active, we still find and help the abused and rejected wolves, witches, warlocks, humans and animals.

Daring is still the Rogue King. He's doing a pretty good job too. The rogues are free to do what they want, attack whenever they decide. It's Daring's job now to make sure there are no more uprisings. He destroyed one last month; it's almost scary how often they happen. Why do people feel the need to take over?

I think this is the highest point in my life. I have my mate and my family together at home. I have virtually everything I want and people I love who love me back. I know that if I were to die today, I would die surrounded by people who truly care about me.

That fire still burns within me. The thought that sparked it still lives. The thought of so many others out there in the world suffering like I have. No one deserves to suffer just because the people around them are assholes.

I've kept my promise that I would help others who suffered. I've saved so many people from their abusers. I've done my best to make sure no one suffers any longer. I will never break this promise.

The flames within have started dancing to a different dance. I'm not as... Hard, as lonely, as before. I've changed, become better than I was before.

That new me born the day I became a rogue still lives within me. I know she always will.

Forever,

Rei