I sigh, holding my head in my hands, my arms resting on my desk, my eyes closed.

Still no closer to finding her. Almost two years and we still have no clue where she is. We've looked in every place Raiden thought she might go. Tried looking in other packs around here, but came up with nothing.

She's completely disappeared. It's like she never existed.

I know she did though. How could I forget my mate? The girl I rejected because I was stupid and thought my social life meant more. The girl I bullied for two years just because she couldn't shift.

I tried to convince myself that what I did to her would help her wolf come forward. Deep down, I knew what I was doing was wrong but I pushed that feeling away.

I would do anything to go back in time and slap some sense into past-me.

I remember what Raiden did when he found out I rejected her. Raiden's normally pretty calm, I've rarely seen him angry. He was fucking pissed. But I never banished her. I took back my rejection the morning after my birthday and I was going to try and make it up to her at school that day but she never showed up.

When I ditched school to go look for her, it was too late. She was already gone.

I growl softly as past memories flash in my head.

"What's wrong, Denny?" I asked, putting my hand on Raiden's shoulder.

"Don't call me that," he grumbled, staring at the grass at our feet. "I'm worried. It's Rei, she's not doing the best. I imagine it's the shock of you two being mates but my gut's telling me that that's not it."

I winced, feeling sick. "Raiden... There's something I want to tell you."

His head snapped up and his eyes bored into mine. "Did you do something to her?" he asked lowly, his voice dangerous. "Asher, what did you do to my sister?"

Scott and Dean chose this moment to pop up next to us.

"What's-" Scott started.

He cut himself off after the glare Raiden gave him. Raiden turned his gaze back to me, shaking my hand off his shoulder and waiting for me to speak.

I didn't look at his eyes, ashamed of myself and not wanting to see the anger, hatred and protectiveness that I knew would spark in his eyes. I could sense Scott and Dean becoming somber as they realized what was going on.

Raiden sensed it too and he growled, stepping away from us. "You all know? You all knew she was hurting and you didn't fucking tell me?" He crossed his arms, his glare burning into all three of us but lingering mostly me. "What did you do?"

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, to admit to my best friend what we've been doing behind his back, Kia came running up to us, looking distressed, tears running down her cheeks, a piece of paper clutched in her hand.

"What's wrong with you?!" she screeched at me. "You were supposed to love and take care of her! Not reject her!"

I winced again as murder flashed in Raiden's eyes as he gritted his teeth. His body was shaking and I could tell he was trying to keep himself from lunging at me.

"You did what?!" he growled.

I didn't even have to hold back a growl of my own from his disrespect. It never came, I knew deserved that. My wolf Jayden growled at me before going back to blocking me out, furious with me for hurting our mate.

With a shaking hand, Kia held out the paper in her hand to Raiden and he took it. He read the words written on it and I saw his dark eyes repeatedly flash amber then go back to black as his wolf fought him. He looked up and me and I winced at the pure rage in his eyes.

Dropping the paper, he lunged at me, sending both of us falling to the ground. He punched me repeatedly and I didn't fight back, knowing I deserved that from him. I just covered my face with my arms, hissing at the hard blows Raiden landed on my chest and arms.

"I thought we were brothers, Asher," he growled, his voice full of hatred, anger and betrayal. "And this whole time you were going behind my back and hurting her."

"I'm sorry, Raiden," I said softly.

My voice was pained and it wasn't from the physical pain I was feeling. It was pain from knowing I hurt my best friend and pain as the full realization of what I'd done finally hit me.

"Oh you're sorry," Raiden growled spitefully, getting off me and standing up. He drove his fist into Scott's nose and Dean's cheek before kicking their legs out from under them and causing them to fall as I stood up, my head bowed in shame. "Sorry doesn't get her back, does it now, asshole."

My body tensed and I looked up to meet his eyes. "She's... She's gone?" I asked, my voice soft, disbelieving and hurt. I knew it was my fault but I wanted her as mine. "She's really gone?"

"What do you expect?" Raiden hissed venomously. "You fucking banished her, of course she's gone, dipshit."

A stab of anger hit me. "I did no such thing," I growled lowly. "I took my rejection back this morning, I want to make it up to her, show her I'll do what it takes to earn her forgiveness. I never banished her."

Raiden scowled. "So did you suddenly forget writing this?"

He picked up the note and held it out to me. I took it and looked at the words.

I, Asher Myers, future-alpha of Moonblood pack, banish Rei Rys from the pack. She leaves as soon as she reads this.

I growled softly. "Raiden, I never wrote this, I swear."

He stood there, his arms crossed, glaring at me and looking unconvinced.

I flipped the paper over and found a letter from Rei on the back.

Raiden, I'll probably be off the territory by the time you read this. I'm not leaving voluntarily; he rejected me, and, as you saw on the other side of this paper, banished me. I know you'll be mad, and something in me wants to fuel that anger. All of your friends bullied me for two years behind your back. They called me names, and hit me. You asked why I wear make up... It was to hide the bruises.

They said you would abandon me if I told you and I was foolish and believed them. Yesterday showed me that you truly do care about me, and so does dad. I'm sorry I didn't tell you then.

There is something else that was happening to me but I won't tell you in this letter. Just know that when searching for traitors, the people closest to you are the ones you often overlook.

I'll miss you,

Rei

I winced and sighed, holding the letter out to Raiden.

"You keep it," he said hatefully. "It can serve as a reminder of what you've done. You lost your mate and your best friend."

My eyes widened but I know I should've expected it.

"Raiden," Dean whispered, reaching towards him. "You can't mean that."

Raiden glared at him, making him flinch back. "I do mean that," he growled. "I want nothing to do with the three of you."

Without another word, he grabbed his bag, pushed past us and headed into the forest, the same way Rei disappeared yesterday. I winced, remembering the pain in her eyes. Dean had a few tears in his eyes, the emotional bitch.

"I'm finding her," I said. "Kia, where did you get the note?"

"She gave it to me before she left," Kia replied, teary eyed. "I was walking with her in the woods on the way here and one of the pack warriors came up, handed Rei the note, said it was from you and left again. She wrote the note and said to give it to Raiden."

"Where were you when the warrior came up?" Scott asked.

I gave him a small smile, happy to know he'll help me.

"By that old maple tree, that way," Kia replied, pointing into the woods, the way Raiden disappeared.

I looked at Scott and Dean and they both nodded. They were with me. I headed off towards where Kia pointed, to where Raiden went and my two friends followed. As soon as the school was out of sight, I stripped and shifted. Scott and Dean did the same. We took off running, heading towards the maple tree where Rei got the note.

Raiden's scent leads this way. He was probably looking for Rei too.

As we reached the old maple tree, I saw Raiden's tail disappearing through the trees, following the rogue scent that must be from Rei. I bet she read the note and cut herself from the pack, probably without realizing she did it herself.

I followed Raiden, running as fast as I could to catch up with him.

What are you three doing? he growled.

We're going to find her, I replied determinedly. I wasn't lying, I want to show her how sorry I am.

Raiden only snorted and ran faster.

A knock on my office door snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Come in," I say.

The door opens and Raiden, my beta, comes sauntering in, followed by Scott and Dean, my gamma and delta. Raiden comes around my desk and leans on it beside me while Dean sits on the couch with Scott next to him, one arm around his mate's shoulders.

Yeah, those two are mates. Raiden still hasn't found his mate so we're loners together.

He didn't just start speaking to us again, no. He gave us hell first. Two months of absolute silence and hateful glares, a two hour long beating from him that left bruises and broken bones for over four days while we usually heal in two or three days. A long period of him being annoying and sassy to everything single damn we said in his presence whether it was to him or not. And when he decided it was enough, he stopped and (slowly) returned to how he acted with us before.

"What is it?" Raiden asks, looking at me in concern.

The memories lingering my mind. I remember the fury and hatred burning in his eyes and I wince slightly. I never want him to look at me like that again.

"Why are you helping me?" I say softly. "Why don't you just turn your back on me and walk out?"

I can tell he understands what I'm talking about and that I'm remembering that day.

Raiden chuckles humorlessly. "Sometimes I wonder that myself. I promised myself I would cut you three out of my life, having nothing to do with any of you unless it was pack-related. Clearly, I broke that promise. Asher, I've known you since I was born and we've all been best friends since we were babies. I couldn't just throw that all away, no matter how much I tried to."

I smile slightly, knowing that's true. I couldn't cut any of my best friends out of my life if I tried with everything in me. We've been together too long, gone through too much together to just be able to throw that away.

"And I saw the pain and honesty in your eyes," Raiden continues. "I knew you weren't lying, that you didn't banish her, but at that moment, I didn't care. All that mattered to me was the fact that you hurt my twin sister, the girl I love and did my best to protect. And I failed her," he says bitterly. "She was suffering from you three bullying her and our mother neglecting and hitting her."

Because of the last part of Rei's letter, Raiden interrogated some of the people he loved most, including his parents. He found his dad innocent while he discovered his mom had been neglecting and abusing Rei for five years. Of course, that made me, Scott and Dean feel even worse. We bullied her at school and her mom starved and hit her at home.

No wonder Rei liked spending time alone.

"You know," Raiden continues, "That long beating I gave you three helped to. The one after the two months of ignoring you."

"Those bruised and broken bones took days to heal," Dean says with a wince.

"You deserved it," is Raiden's blunt response.

I wince slightly, knowing he's right. I was horrible. I hurt a member of my pack for no reason, only excuses. I was stupid, incredibly so and I regret everything with everything I have in me. I don't deserve her, but I miss Rei. I barely knew her then but I could tell that she was sweet and kind.

I want to find her and get her back. I want to show her that I'm sorry, that I've changed.

I want to show her that I want her.