Too much energy being wasted...

Whoever said that time heals all wounds...is a liar from the depths of hell.

They should never be trusted to speak a comforting word again.

Because that one statement...those four words are the truest lies I've ever heard.

My most profound wound is ten...nearly eleven years old and with each passing moment, lie, and empty promise...it just seems to bore a little deeper into my soul.

It hurts so much, that I've become numb to the pain.

But I still know it's there.

I know now, especially since I'm being transported into the dead of night to meet the person whom inflicted it.

Black seemed to be the starring color of the evening.

I wore a black turtleneck, leather pants, and heeled boots.

The two men in the driver and passenger seats of the car I was in, wore the color.

The two armored vehicles in front and behind us were black.

And...as I gazed out the window, the sky matched the color too.

Vacant and dark.

The only thing that appeared to be a beacon of light was the large full moon pinned in the middle of the sky.

It reminded me of the reason why I was doing this in the first place.

"Baby you good?" Dave asked from the passenger seat as James drove.

I didn't answer him.

Not because I was still angry at him.

Trust me, I was.

I truly just didn't know how to respond.

He turned around fully to look at me, something in his eyes telling me that he wanted to say more, but chose not to.

He made the right choice.

I hadn't spoken one word to him in over a week. I was still deciding on how I'd deal with him. It was clear that I wasn't going to run away but something like this required more than a week of thinking and a conversation.

"We gon' be there in five minutes." Were his last words, as we switched lanes off the highway and onto a dirt road.

The car swayed from side to side as the tires rolled over rocks and gravel.

I leaned over and tried my best to see where we were. But even that was impossible with the darkness enveloping us.

Soon after, the car came to a steady halt and I heard the car doors slamming from the vehicles in front of us.

Dave opened his door and spoke quietly to James in the driver seat.

"He'll be right back Ms. Daniels." He reassured me from the rare view mirror.

With a click, I unfastened my seatbelt and leaned forward to see if I could make out anything from the windshield.

It looked like the dead of nowhere but, according to the Maps App on my phone, we were somewhere in Brooklyn, near the East River.

In front of the car stood a tall wrought iron gate. Dave, a few of the bodyguards he brought with us, and some other men were having an intense conversation beside it.

Thankfully it only lasted for about a minute. Afterwards, one of the men made a call, then the creaky gates opened bit by bit to allow us entrance.

I waited eagerly for Dave to return to the car; instead he walked in front of it, as our small artillery moved forward through the heavily guarded security stop.

James removed his own seatbelt and I leaned back in my seat one more time before getting out.

Wow.

My relationship with my father really came down to this shit.

I was literally stuck in a scene of a bad mafia movie and this was my life now.

Two years ago I did something to save my friend's life, now it seemed like I was paying for it with my own.

"Ms.Daniels...Allaya?" James' deep voice sulked around my name softly. "You're going to be alright. You hear me?" He turned around to look at me. "Dave is going to be beside you and you know I'm never far behind. I promise you, that you will get through this...whatever this is."

He looked at me for a long time, waiting for my acknowledgment to what he just said.

I finally nodded and swiped a runaway droplet from under my eye.

Dave was standing right in front of my for when I finally opened it.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't relieved to see him.

Hesitantly, I allowed him to take my hand in his, as he led me over the rocky terrain into a large steel warehouse.

The huge building was set on an old junkyard with the river running behind it. From the front, it appeared to have only a single grey door at its entrance and a sole six pane window all the way at the top.

James knocked twice, then held the door open as we all walked in.

There wasn't much to look at inside the dimly lit room. It was practically empty, except for all of the people standing in it.

The linoleum flooring was scarred with scuff marks from furniture, and a few random plastic baggies were littered across it.

The air smelt stale, like it was being recycled within the building and the faint hint of ammonia wafted inside it.

My attention finally focused on the two different groups of men that we joined on the first floor.

I wasn't expecting any more company apart from my father. But it looks like he brought guest with him.

The first group were comprised of four men, huddled along the right side of the room. The were all dressed casually in puffer coats and jeans. One of them in particular caught my eye, as he stared at me while sucking from a cigarette.

The second group were the total opposite. Only two men stood upright all the way on the left side near the stairs. They looked like actual body guards, dressed in long black coats, with white dress shirts and shiny dress shoes.

They probably, more than likely, came with my father.

I let go of Dave's hand, unsure of what to do next, and stuffed them in my pockets.

"Was gud my nigga?" The questionable man with the cigarette extended a hand out to dap Dave.

I watched with curiosity as Dave looked at it, until the man lowered it back to his side with a chuckle.

"It's been a long time since we seen you in these parts." The man smiled at Dave's mug. "And this must be the reason why...how you doin' ma?" He smirked at me.

"She ain't none of yo' concern." Dave gently used his hand to push me to the back of him.

He threw his hand up and spoke again. "My bad nigga. I was just asking yo' girl how she was doin'." He chuckled a bit. "She look fine as fuck though." His hand rubbed together slowly.

"Santos get the fuck up out my face 'fo I show you how I'm feelin'." Dave flashed him something in his jacket pocket.

If I had one guess what it was...

Santos plucked the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it on the floor between them. I peeked my head around Dave's body to watch as some of the men Santos was with, come up behind him.

"Anyway...that nigga that you brought here is upstairs." He flicked his chin to the second floor of the warehouse. "Who the fuck you got in my spot East?" He spat at Dave.

Dave took a bold step forward, closing the already small gap between them.

I reached forward to pull on the back of Dave's shearling jacket to stop what ever fuckery that was about to ensue. But, James signaled for one of the bodyguards to grab me before I could get to him.

"Mind yo' fuckin' business Santos and this only yo 'spot cause I gave it to you. Remember that lil nigga."

Dave sized him up then bumped his shoulder as he walked past him.

As one would expect, Santos didn't take that disrespect lightly.

My eyes widened and I wiggled in the bodyguards hold as that nigga reached deep in his puffer. But, before he could present anything, James pulled back his own coat to show the chrome that was tucked neatly in the holster on his Ferragamo belt. "Don't start nothing you can't finish homeboy."

Definitely wasn't expecting that from the man that sometimes took me to the grocery store, Lilo to jungle gym, and Kairi to ballet.

Oh hell no. It was time for us to go. I didn't plan on spending my Thursday night in a shootout in a smelly ass metal box in Brooklyn of all places.

I was making up in my mind to abandon this meeting and go back to the car, when one of the men from the stairs called my name:

"Ms. Daniels...Mr. Deveaux will see you now."

Well, it's a little too late to leave now.

Pulling myself out of the bodyguards hold, I pushed my way through Santos, his goons, and Dave, to follow the man up the stairs.

My nerves relaxed a bit, as I felt Dave following close behind me. It didn't matter what we currently going through, it was reassuring to know that he was there.

"Mr. Deveaux only wants to see his daughter."

"I don't give a fuck what Deveaux wants. " Dave spoke harshly.

Before this could go any further, I finally spoke up. "Dave, please stay. I'll see you in a few minutes okay?"

The muscle in his jaw moved in and out.

That's how I knew he was just as nervous...maybe even just as scared as I was.

"Aight."

I ascended the stairs alone this time, until I reached the only metal door at the top.

My hand shook as I twisted the cold knob.

Inside the office was also empty - barely furnished, except for an old desk and folding chair that sat in the middle of it and a lone light bulb that dangled from a chain on the moldy ceiling.

My father's back was turned away from me as he gazed out the window.

When I walked in and shut the door, he finally turned around.

"Hello Lani." A ghost of a smile hovered over his lips. He strutted over in his classic arrogant fashion in an attempt to hug me.

"Johnathan..." I nodded, taking a step to the side to avoid his embrace.

He couldn't be serious.

A look of disappointment flashed across his face before it brightened again. "Johnathan? You use to call me daddy or dad."

"I realized that you don't deserve the title." I replied smartly.

He chuckled deeply then remarked, "Still quick with the tongue I see. Where's Lilo? Is she in one of those cars?" He pointed towards the window while removing his Burberry scarf. "You brought an entire army with you. I assume that's Dave's doing. He never trusted me."

"He'd be wise not to." I leaned against one of the dirty powder blue walls. "Lilo's at home sleeping. Why would I bring a child to a place like this at two in the morning?"

He shrugged his shoulders then pulled off his brown leather gloves. "Why don't you have a seat?" He offered me the folding chair in front of him.

"No thank you." I remained polite and civilized. Then I remembered the circumstances that led me to this moldy room in the first place. "Why am I here?"

"Because you have a problem that you need fixed and...because this is the only way I could speak to you. Tell me, would you have answered me if I called or would you even entertained my presence if I visited?" He got serious all of a sudden.

"You said everything you needed to say two years ago. Why would I need to hear anything from you now?"

I didn't come here to play his stupid little games. I had enough of this shit.

As he continued to remove layers of his winter clothing, my eyes plastered themselves on his bare left arm where his dress shirt rode up to showcase a long scar amongst bluffing veins, right next to the one tattoo I knew he had.

The scar was new though.

I examined his arms and facial features more closely. He looked like himself but smaller...a bit frail even.

My father had always been a handsome man.

He oozed confidence, arrogance, and charm. But now, there was something different surrounding him...

Fear.

Johnathan Deveaux feared no man, but God.

"You should hear me now because I have something different to say...to ask of you this time."

I'd laugh if he wasn't so serious. He finally settled his hands on the side of him and looked at me in my eyes.

"The day when you were supposed to return to London with me...but you never showed up, I spent an ungodly amount of time trying to figure out why you didn't. To you, it may have seemed like I didn't care. But in my eyes, I was trying to protect you. I think I finally realized that I had gone too far and that it may have been best to leave you alone."

Interesting, this was definitely new. He almost sounded apologetic.

I made the bold decision to lift the folding chair away from the desk and near the far corner of the room to sit on it.

Now, I was actually interested in hearing more.

"A few months afterwards, I had a contact in the city look for you. They told me that you were no longer in Manhattan. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. If you weren't with me in London or with Dave in New York, where could you be?" He recanted the events like it was a bedtime story. "Finally, the idea came to me that you probably went to where you had roots. So, I sent Amir down to Turks and I told him not to let you know that he was there."

"So you basically had him spy on me?"

"It was more of a wellness check-in in my opinion. I just wanted to know if you were alright. When he called me to tell me that he found you, I was ready to come down there and drag you back to London myself. But then Amir told me what he saw..."

"What did he see?" I asked.

"You, about six months pregnant, at a construction site." His eyes glassed over. "I refused to believe it. I knew for sure that I prevented you and Dave's relationship from going any further. I made sure to plant those seeds. But how could I forget about the seeds he probably planted."

I raised my lip in disgust over his confession about his manipulation.

"I told Amir to come back and leave you be. You were obviously happy...well as happy as you could be given your circumstances. That didn't stop me though...from thinking about you. I had a contact on the island, watching you, making sure you and the baby were safe. She gave me a report on most things you were up to. From what she said, I was so proud of you for everything that you accomplished and I was disgusted with myself for driving you away, for upsetting your life. I became obsessed with trying to make things right."

I edged forward in my chair and clasped my hands in front of me. My mind was working overtime trying to process everything.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. Because I proved you wrong and made something with myself while giving birth to a child, you want to be in my life now?"

That's exactly what it sounded like to me.

"You gotta be smarter than that, you of all people should know better than to come to me with some bullshit like that. You're either a world class manipulator or a narcissistic sociopath. I don't know which one,but you are not weaseling your way back into my life for your own benefit." I stomped my foot on the dirty floor, kicking up a cloud of dust in the process.

My father sighed and looked into his hands. "Allaya I am a sinner, that is probably going to sin again. I've asked God to forgive me, and now I'm humbly asking you to do the same."

He hopped off the desk and kneeled in front of me. His cold hands touched mine and he forced me to look into his onyx eyes.

"Well that's unfortunate, because my name ain't Jesus so my forgiveness has its limitations and I don't have Alzheimer's, so I won't ever forget." The words left my mouth with enough venom to kill.

My father hung his head, like I finally defeated him.

"Don't say that Lani, please don't say that." His voice cracked with tears in it.

Well that was new.

I'd never seen my father cry. As a child, I assumed that his tear ducts were broken. As an adult, I convinced myself that he was a monster that had no need for it.

But this...this was very different.

Then like a falling palm tree during a hurricane, it hit me.

"How long do you have?" I asked softly.

My question went unanswered for what felt like hours.

"They've caught it early and I was able to get a bone marrow transplant." He stood back up and pulled off his tie to unbutton his shirt.

On top of his dark skin, lighly buried over a field of smooth hair, was a scar that ran from the middle of his chest to his stomach.

"What kind was it?"

"Leukemia." He buttoned his shirt back up. "Genetics and too much of that polluted London air I'm afraid."

"And one too many packs of handrolls." My chin pointed to the box of his custom hand rolled tobacco smokes that fell out of the front pocket of his dress shirt.

He chuckled warmly, pulling one from its carton and lighting it.

That was so like him, playing with life just because he could.

I sucked in a deep breath and stood up to stretch my legs, and to prevent anymore pent up feelings from showing.

"We finally get to the real reason why I'm here...the real reason why you went through all of these theatrics to get me where you wanted." I walked around the chair. "You've had a very close brush with death and now because you realize all of the shit you've done, you want my forgiveness so that you can go to your grave with a free conscious. You think I need closure?" I stopped walking to ask him rhetorically.

"I don't. Closure is a scam. I've already accepted all the trifling shit that you did and I've moved on!" I yelled at him.

"That is not true Lani! I did this because I am truly sorry for everything that I've done to you. I can't even forgive myself for what I've put you through." He tried to explain. "Life is too short for...and you and Amir are the only ones I have left!"

A single tear rolled down his cheek.

I looked him up and down, "What are you talking about?"

More tears followed as he cradled his head in his hands.

"Zoe and Zora aren't my biological daughters. I found out when they were tested as donors before my transplant."

Huh?

An unexpected chuckle left my lips and I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth to prevent any more from leaving.

Not me laughing while this man is crying.

"Karma is an ironic bitch, ain't she?" I left my mouth agape in shock. "The family that you left your actual family for...ain't really yours. I'm sorry but that is hilarious as fuck." I snorted out another laugh.

Then another....and another until I ended up hunched over holding my stomach. That's when I realized that I was actually crying.

"I been trying to dust my ass for years because of YOU!" I kicked the metal folding chair over in anger. "I'm so angry all of the time, I get insecure, and...and I can't trust people. You know how much fucking time I spent and I'm still spending, trying to fix all of the SHIT YOU CAUSED!"

The emotions I'd been holding onto for years emerged from the dark place I was hiding them in.