I swear I'd do things differently

Earlier that day...

I held my tote bag close to me, as the key turned slowly in the door. Thankfully, there was no sound within the home, meaning Bri and Ne were still asleep.

I looked around swiftly for any evidence of the two, then turned to lock the door. With a sigh of relief I went up the wooden stairs on my toes and opened my bedroom door, only to find Bri sitting in my arm chair. Her long legs crossed and a sly smirk on her full lips.

"Ma'am it's eight o' clock the next morning, where you been?"

Getting my back blown out.

But I suppressed those words with a side smile and rolled my eyes.

"No where..." I tossed over my shoulder to go into my bathroom.

"You raggedy bitch!" She lept up from the chair and ran ahead of me. "You got some dick...from Dave! Didn't you?" She turned me around by my shoulders and examined my eyes before smiling widely. "Yes you did! Laya got some dick...Laya got some dick..." she sang and danced around the tiled floors.

"Girl would you shut up...before you wake Nene up and stop assuming shit." I chuckled.

"It ain't assuming if I'm right and I know I'm right because one - you're wearing the same clothes from yesterday, two - why are you sneaking into your own house, three - there's a big ass hickey on your neck, and four - you got a pimp walk with a limp." She listed off.

Damn, this girl.

She pursed her lips at me and cocked her head to the side while awaiting my answer.

"Yeah I got some dick." I whispered inaudibly.

"What?! I can't hear you!" Bri yelled, her hand cuffed behind her ear.

She was so dramatic.

Sighing heavily and relaxing my shoulders. I turned around from the sink to look at her. "I got some dick...damn! You happy now?!"

"Hell yeah I'm happy! The Laya and Dave saga just got a whole lot better." She laughed. "Wait...why you don't look happy? Don't tell me that nigga ain't did it right."

No that's definitely not it.

"Like you said Bri, the saga continues...and I just made it a whole 'lot more complicated." I leaned against the bathroom vanity while she sat opposite me, on the edge of the tub. "I have to tell him tonight and I'm scared as shit. I take full responsibility for sleeping with him before telling him...but damn I don't know." I leaned back and held my head. "Everything was right, we were having fun and dancing then he asked if I wanted to go back to his room..."

"And you said yes." Bri finished.

I nodded slowly, "It was like my brain wasn't connected to my mouth when I agreed."

"Girl your body will betray you for every time. But it was just sex right? You can move past that."

I took a deep breath.

"Well that's it there. It was lowkey more than that. I missed him Bri...you know I hate to put my pride aside, but I wanted him back...and last night a small part of me thought that shit was possible. Then as soon as I woke up on the side of him, reality slapped me."

Bri nodded her head to represent her comprehension of the situation. I'm glad I had her here to vent to.

"At this point I've accepted that we won't probably be anything more than co-parents after I tell him, and I can definitely stand my ground. But what if he doesn't want her?"

I thought about that possiblity a lot. I was more than capable of raising my child on my own however, I knew what it was like to not have a relationship with my father... I don't want the same for Lilo.

"Laya, don't think like that. If that man had any sense he'd love that baby with every fibre in his being. I don't know him like you do...but do you think he'd ever do some shit like that?"

He wouldn't.

"No."

"Exactly so stop putting that negativity in your head. You got this!" She exclaimed. "Now about that little entanglement y'all got going on..." she widened her eyes and blew air from her mouth.

"I'd say ride it out. Maybe just focus on Lil Bri and her well being. Then maybe after some time circle back to that relationship stuff. But sweetie, you did just play with that man's heart and trust, so you gotta understand whatever reaction he gives you when you tell him. You can't have your cake and eat it too Lay."

"But what if I baked the cake? I should be able to eat it right?" I asked rather seriously.

"Laya...I really can't with you. You never take nothing serious." She laughed at me. "Come one...let's practice, show me how you gonna tell him. I'll be Dave." She straightened up then sagged her shoulders in an attempt to mock Dave's stance.

I followed suit and composed myself before saying,

"Dave...this is your daughter." I said timidly and held up a bunched up white towel to represent Lilo.

"Bitch don't do that...cause he's going to be confused as hell and put some damn bass in your voice. Show him that you got a lil' bit of

thug in you and that you're serious."

Well shit, how much more serious can I get Bri?

"Yo Dave! This is yo fuckin' kid...that I gave birth to...without telling you." I shouted in a deep obnoxious voice.

Bri looked at me with a harsh scowl before holding the bridge of her nose.

"He finna beat yo ass." She said with a bit of disappointment and humor. "Laya I'm finna beat your ass if you do that."

"Ok ok ok damn. I'm nervous....give me some actual tips please?"

"I don't understand how you own an entire hotel and still act this way." She grumbled. "Can we get a little introduction...you know something to spice it up?!"

"You obviously think this is a damn movie..." my eyes rolled at her. "But fine..."

I placed the towel behind me and adjusted myself again. Staring at the light illuminating the window, I thought back to what I would have told him when I tried to call him before Lilo was born.

"Dave I've come to realize that our relationship is rather complicated, with the entangled feelings that we both suppress out of the fear for losing each other or hiding elements of our lives in order to protect the other person. We both had issues that we needed to work out,

and secrets we needed to reveal. You know almost all of mine." I inhaled sharply and looked down at Bri. "When I left New York I was pregnant. Seven months later I delivered a gorgeous and healthy baby girl, who has her father's eyes and his smile. I've never been more sorry for something in my life. I'm telling you now because I made a promise that I would and I don't want her to suffer because of my mistakes. So Dave, this is Lilo and she's your daughter."

I finished and snapped out of my contemplation. Bri sniffled and wiped the corner of her eyes.

"Bitch that was beautiful. But he still gonna be mad as hell."

Sighing against the counter, I spoke calmly "Yeah...I'll deal with that later."

The bathroom door busted open and Nene stumbled across the threshold with tangled hair, her left boob coming out of her tank top and sleepy eyes adorned with dark circles.

"What's with all the noise?", she groaned.

"You smell like the entire bar." I put my hand under my nose to block the smell. "Why did you let her drink this much? She's getting married in less than ten hours Brielle."

"I thought she would've been straight by this morning." Bri took Nene and guided her to my shower.

"Obviously not 'cause she's about to..."

Nene vomited everything she ate the day before on the floor with some of its remnants landing on Bri.

I stood there in shock my hand covering my mouth as I looked with utter disgust.

"Bri...I'm so so-sorry" Ne barely finished before she heaved again.

"Mnhh mmm. Nene don't talk no more." Bri barely moved her mouth.

In the midst of the chaos my doorbell rang and Stitch barked loudly after the noise.

"Oh shit Laya! Help me...what the hell im supposed to do with her?!"

I peeked out the window to see who it was.

"Well that's the wedding planner, hairstylist and nail tech downstairs. I gotta help them set up, then try to clean up a bit." I wrapped my hair in a loose bun and turned to leave the room. "There's handtowel under the cupboard and I'll bring up a mop and bucket. You got this girl!" I snickered while ignoring her glare.

"Laya don't you dare leave me like this with her. You're the made of honor!"

"You are too!" I shouted before walking out.

I'm not about to clean up two messes today.

/•/

I grinned widely at Nene's face while Jay removed her garter. After a few cans of ginger ale and some pain meds, we managed to cure her hangover just in time for her nuptials.

If you saw her walking down that aisle next to her dad, you would have never guessed that she was a heaping emotional mess just hours before. At the very last moment, when we were all dressed and ready, she began to have crippling doubts about going further.

Thankfully, all that vanished when she saw Jay waiting for her on the other side. They made this love shit look easy and that marriage stuff didn't seem that bad. But commitment at that level still had me scared shitless.

Well that...amongst other things.

The song had just ended, and Dave stood off to the side smiling from ear to ear with champagne in his hand. While Bri was still twerking on Devon in the middle of the stage.

Everyone seemed so happy and relaxed, but here I was, anxious to death.

Shoota took the empty seat beside me and fixed his navy tux. "You ain't tell him yet? It's after the wedding Allaya." His tone threatening. "Are you gon do what you have to or do I have to do it for you?"

"You know Shoota...I thought we we were cool? I don't have an issue with you...never did and I understand that you're looking out for your friend. But I don't take lightly to threats, especially ones concerning my daughter. Watch what the hell you say to me." I warned before getting up to approach Dave.

"Dave?" I rested my hand tenderly on his chest to gain his attention.

"Wassup baby?" He smiled down at me, the word of endearment lightened my heart a bit.

"I wanna show you somethin'." I laced my fingers through his and pulled him along the beach towards the house.

My heels were sinking deeply into the white sand, so he took them from me and held them until we arrived at my stone driveway.

The closer we got to the door, the further my heart sunk in my ass. I opened it for us and was immediately greeted by the sound of cartoons and Lilo's joyous shrieks, it was getting late but that never bothered her. She was probably bareback in her diaper playing with Stitch...like the wild little creature she was.

When she saw me, she stopped playing and ran up to me. I bent down slowly to lift her up, almost forgetting that Dave was there, I hadn't seen her all weekend.

Snuggling my face under her neck, I cradled her against me before covering her cheeks in kisses. I missed her giggles so much.

My grandmother stood from the couch with weary eyes and I turned back to Dave, whose face was covered in confusion.

I don't know why my eyes started to water or why my voice began to crack, but I made my bed. This was going to be handled with grace and dignity.

"Dave this is my grandmother Pamela Pinder..." he turned his head towards her. "...and this cutie right here is Lilo." I rested my hand on her tummy and looked up at him.

"She's our daughter."

His head turned to the side and his eyebrow arched slightly.

This was it.

"What?" The word was pronounced so strongly.

"Allaya I'm going into the kitchen to give y'all some privacy." My grandmother spoke up before leaving the room.

Lilo looked between me and Dave, whom was still waiting on some kind of explanation.

"You had a kid?" He asked then stepped closer.

"I did. I was two months pregnant when I left New York. B-but it wasn't officially confirmed until I got here." I began and he swiped his large hand down his face. "Dave look I tried to tell you..."

"Can I hold her?" He cut me off before I could explain. His hands were already extended towards her and surprisingly she was reaching for him. I had no choice but to release her from my hold.

"O-of course." I stuttered. Her little hands played along his face. She wasn't used to a lot of people, but it was like she knew exactly who he was.

I hated myself even more for keeping them apart.

"I'm gonna get her a shirt. I'll be right back." I mumbled nervously, leaving to go across the hall into the kitchen where my grandmother was.

My sweaty hands shook as I tilted the pitcher of water into the glass. After resting it down, I took gulp after gulp and breathed heavily when the refreshing sensation hit me.

"Allaya you need to calm down..." my grandmother rested her hand in the middle of my back.

"I'm trying...really I am."

"You don't have anything to worry about...you hear me? Everything's gonna be just fine baby. Look at them..."

She pointed out the kitchen to the living room entryway where you could see Dave playing with Lilo on the couch. Her little legs bouncing on his lap as he talked quietly to her. I had no idea what he was saying.

"I need to go get her a shirt or somethin' to put on." I attempted to leave but she grabbed my hand. "No no leave them for a bit."

I knew as a fact that, that wasn't Dave's final reaction. I needed to brace myself for the conversation we'd be having afterwards.

Moments later, I was seated at the kitchen table with my Grammy. He walked in with a sleeping Lilo on his shoulder.

"Well chall I don't know how you get her to sleep so early." She marveled at him.

He smirked down at her. "She almost wore me out."

"Let me put her to bed." I reached up for her and Dave turned away.

"I got it. Show me where her room is."

Nodding my head, I held the bottom of my long pink bridesmaid dress, so that I could travel up the stairs. I led him into Lilo's pink room and drew the curtains closed.

I watched from the door as he got her ready. He didn't strike me as someone who knew how to take care of a baby, even though he had Kairi. Maybe because I never saw him in action, I didn't give him that chance.

Occasionally he asked me where things were, he didn't ask for help though.

Dave stood there with his back turned to me, just looking down at her.

"She's fifteen months old and she has your last name." I said just to fill the silence. He nodded once, still not facing me.

"You have to lock the crib railing else she'll jump out and escape by morning." I laughed a bit, hoping he'd share in my humor.

But he simply did what I asked before dimming the lights.

"These doors stay open?" He didn't even look at me.

"Yeah, Stitch...the dog usually sleeps on the floor if she's in here. If the doors are closed he'll just scratch at it until she wakes up." I played with the hair behind my ear then grabbed the baby monitor and walked down the stairs.

With each daunting step I took, he followed slowly. The old wood squeaking and cracking underneath us. He was so close that I could feel him.

I reentered the kitchen, only to notice that my grandmother had left. Her black bag gone, along with the crossword puzzle that she was working on.

Great, she left me here alone to face this man.

"This how it's always gon be with you?"

"Hm...what do you mean?" I folded my arms.

He jumped up and sat on my counter and replied, "Everytime me and you take two steps forward, we always gotta go ten steps back."

"Dave." I sighed. "I know that you're upset and I'm sorry-"

"Allaya save that shit for somebody who listening. 'Cause witchu' sorry is just a sorry ass word. Ain't you tired of saying that?!" His voice bellowed.

"My daughter is sleeping."

"Yo you really do be on some other shit ...no cap. Ion even know what to say to you!" He shouted.

"My daughter is sleeping."

"Our daughter is sleeping! She mine too, since your scummy ass forgot!"

I quickly turned my head towards him and unfolded my arms. Who the fuck did he think he was talking to?

"First of all...I tried to tell you, the same night that you blocked me, I was calling you about my pregnancy. I bet my old number is still blocked in your phone right now. So think about that...asshole." I sized him up. Fear was no longer present in my system, my only motive right now was Lilo's future. "After that I told myself that whenever I saw you again in person, I'd tell you."

His face was stone cold, emotionless, then a scowl covered it. "So if I didn't come to the wedding...when would you have told me?" He asked.

I looked down at my hand on the counter. I didn't have an answer to that.

A long silence filled the home as he waited for me to speak. The tap dripped ominously into the sink, each droplet counting down each intense second.

"Look Allaya..." his voice softened. "I want to see my daughter. I want to take care of her and be apart of her life."

"I-"

"I don't care if you got shit covered." He interrupted me again.

I wasn't going to say that but go off.

"Dave I want you to be in her life too. If you want to extend your stay here to spend some time with her...I'm cool with that. I can make myself free for the rest of the week. Also, I'll be in New York next month for Ne's store opening. I can make time then too." I said while looking at my schedule on my phone.

This co-parenting thing was about to be difficult as hell but it didn't matter as long as Lilo had her dad.

"Nah." His deep voice disagreed. He hopped down from the counter and leaned against it. His tux jacket was long gone and the sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows. "I missed fifteen months of her life because of you and I want some time back." He approached me slowly. Forcing me into the corner of the cabinets.

Did he not remember the part where he blocked me?

"I don't know what your getting at but you're not about to take my daughter to New York without me." His arms were positioned on both sides of me and he leaned in towards my face.

"You think I'd do that? No ma, I leave shit like that to you." It was good to know that we were still being petty.

"You need to back up...you too close." I pushed slightly at his chest before he moved a bit.