No longer living life in paradise

I threw my legs up on top of the wooden speaker and looked at the studded Cuban anklet sparkle in the studio light, while Bri ranted to Nene and I on this group FaceTime call.

"And if I said it before, I ga say it again: If that pissy tail lil' boy ever show his ass 'round here, best believe I know a couple niggas that'll fuck him up quick." She breathed hard over the phone. "I mean Laya, I know you said that Nene was beat up with a couple bruises or whatever, but when I went over there I didn't expect her to look like that!"

"Gee thanks Bri. What a way to boost my confidence.", Ne said sarcastically.

"Honey I love you, you're beautiful, stunning gorgeous...alla that. I just can't get over the fact that, that bum ass piece of shit hit you, then left without a word." She fumed.

It had almost been two months since the incident and we decided to tell Bri the crafted story as soon as she arrived from her vacation in Turks.

She hadn't seen Nene in person until yesterday when she went to have lunch with her at the penthouse, and was shocked to see her.

It was a bit difficult explaining everything to Dave and Jay because like Bri, they were prepared to scour the streets of NY for the bastard. But it would be a fruitless search with a suspicious situation, laced with lies.

I came close to telling Dave though. So close that it was scary. For a while, I managed to hide most of my injuries by wearing long clothes and sleeping on the couch in Nene's room, with the excuse that I needed to be there in case she woke up in pain. But one night we were getting freaky in the booth after one of his late night sessions and when he was about to go down on me, he noticed the yellow and black mark on the side of my thigh.

To my frustration, he stopped what he was about to do and questioned me on it. I told him a half lie, that I fell down the stairs in Ne's apartment while trying to quickly pack her stuff. I could tell that he didn't believe me. But he let it go after I massaged him through his pants.

It's amazing the amount of sexual power women have over men. Because at the end of it all, he dropped the subject and I still got to sit on his face.

"But no, for real. I wish I was there when you went to pick her up Laya. I would've bleached and cut up all his shit. I wonder why he didn't say where he was going? I talked to Michelle's hoe ass and she said that she don't know where he went either."

Damn I forgot how much of an investigator Brielle was. No matter how iron clad the story, she was still finding holes to poke through it.

"Bri leave that girl alone. She needs to be worrying about that ugly ass baby she 'bout to have." Nene swore.

"Ne now you know that's not nice", I chided in return.

"Exactly Nene!" Bri shouted, ignoring me altogether. "Kyle ain't cute and Michelle certainly ain't no peach so..."

"But still. That's an innocent child", and he's about to grow up without a father...all because of me.

Bri sucked her teeth loudly and looked over the camera at the person that entered her office. She placed her phone down and adjusted her voice, which made it obvious that she was talking to her boss.

"Of course Franco, I'll take care of those for you.", she smiled sweetly before it dropped into a scowl and she picked the camera back up.

"I can't stand him. Anyway...back to what I was saying...something always told me that Kyle was a waste man and my intuition NEVER lies! That's why I ain't too fond of your girl Zora, Laya. Sis got this innocent thing going on...but it's something grimy about her."

"Bri you say that about everyone you meet." I shooed her off the topic. "Oh! I almost forgot, the studio's Halloween Party is coming up andy'all are invited."

"Bitch say less, you think Brielle Johnson needs another excuse to drink with celebrities? I need to find a costume - you know what imma go as Trina and make Devon go as Trick Daddy. Or is that too much?

"Brielle that's definitely too much. But he might could pull of a little Eminem thing...or Post Malone" I laughed.

"Mhm. Anyway let me go before these people fire me from this job.", Bri sighed. "Nene I'll see you tomorrow boo! Laya stop working and take a break. Bye!"

I got up from the sofa, immediately becoming dizzy and gripped the arm of the chair, until my head stopped spinning.

"I need to find food before I pass out."

My appetite had pretty much disappeared lately and dizziness was a symptom of my lack of consumption.

I thought things would get better with time but I still found myself gazing off into space with my heart beating rapidly, or waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares and running to the bathroom to puke.

My behavior lately was starting to affect everyone. Allaya Daniels was no longer attentive and quick witted but the distant and aloof with her own emotions. I drowned myself in my new project and mindlessly pushed Dave away. We rarely fought but now, any petty squabble that we had, easily turned into a heated argument. And those usually ended up with him leaving to go to the studio.

When he returned, in the wee hours of the night, we never talked it through, just numbed it with makeup sex.

Good makeup sex. Almost too good. Like we were both compensating for something.

I was pushing him away with my issues, but it seemed like he had his own problems to deal with. Hushed phone calls late at night, waking up to a cold bed, and empty blue cups scattered around the penthouse.

But I planned to fix all that tonight, with an elaborate date night at his favorite restaurant and some uninterrupted alone time that we both needed. Ne agreed to watch Kairi and I had the perfect outfit to show him how much I missed us.

Zora burst through the door of Dave's private studio with a sly grin on her face but quickly replaced it with a cheery smile when she noticed that it was me standing by the sound board.

"Oh!...There you are, I was just looking for you." She exclaimed.

"I was taking a break. Wassup?"

"Just wanted to ask where Dave was...I need to talk to him about his verse on our song." She replied studying her fingernails.

I couldn't focus on her request because I was processing the way in which she said it, "So you came in Dave's private studio...to ask me...where he is?" I asked confused.

"Well...yeah." She shrugged. "And to tell you that Dad is in your office. He said that it's important." I shook off the remaining dizziness and left the room to meet my father.

I opened my office door to see him browsing through the stack of vinyls next to my record player. Without even looking up he raised one and commented,

"Now this...this is a classic. Whatchu know about this?" He smirked while putting it on the player.

I stepped in further, drawing the blinds around my walls, so that we could get some privacy. I didn't know what this conversation would be about or why he came to see me, but I know that I had better things that I could be doing.

He began to slow dance to Beres Hammond, and did that little two step that all Caribbean fathers resort to when an old jam comes on. I brushed my fingers over my lips to stifle a giggle.

"Come dance with ya old man. Just like we use to do when you was younger.", he held his hand out to me.

And like the eager little daddy's girl I was, I took it and danced for a moment. He twirled me, and I stepped on his dress shoes, just like old times and memories forgotten.

But as soon as the music stopped, the reality of our relationship set in and I took a seat behind my desk and beckoned him to do the same.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes...how have you been?"

I stared in his eyes, a habit that I developed whenever someone asked how I was feeling,

"I'm here...alive."

"Well that's the bare minimum, isn't it? I asked how have you been and don't lie to me Lani."

Playing with my watch band, I thought about answering him.

"I'm tired, really tired, because I can't sleep. I-I think I need to talk to someone...I really want to tell Dave."

He sighed heavily, "Do you remember what I said that night? NO ONE can know Laya. Unless you want your boyfriend...or everyone else to look at you like some cold, heartless murderer. I mean how long have you known Dave, what makes you so sure that you can trust him?" He got up and walked to the window behind me. "How long do you think you'll last in prison...murder and covering it up - those are hefty charges my dear." I looked back at him and swallowed hard. "I'm here if you want to talk...you know you can trust me."

I scoffed out loud. "You just walked back into my life, five minutes ago and I'm supposed to trust you?!"

This man must be mad.

"Oh Laya...I thought we were getting over that. I mean with all that happened at dinner and with that unfortunate incident at your friend's house...that I helped to clean up I might add, I thought we were all good."

I arched my eyebrow at the audacity, he was throwing this shit back in my face already.

"Maybe we can be all good if you give me some time...to...to rebuild our relationship. To be honest we ain't ever gonna have the same bond that we did before you left but with time it could at least be decent."

He seemed satisfied with my response and sat back down in the leather chair, crossing his legs.

"And that's all I want...time and a little effort." He paused for a moment to lean closer to the desk. "That's actually what I came to discuss with you. I'm going back to London with Amir and Elizabeth. Zora is staying here with the management team I set up for her. But Amir and I were talking, and we think it would be best if you come with us...back to London."

"Huh?" I looked at him like he wasn't speaking English. "For what?"

"Don't you want to be closer with your family? You can finish your post grad studies up there and there are many more opportunities for you to find a good job. I mean...unless you want to work here for the rest of your life?" He looked around the office with indifference. "Look Allaya, as your father I only want what's best for YOU!"

"Lower your voice in MY office. You really feelin' yourself, aren't you? Like you on some real big man shit now." He really had me tight, the man who abandoned me suddenly only wanted what's best for me? "The only family I had for a while now, lives here. My life is here. I have a real relationship with someone genuine...with someone who I co-could trust, here."

"I never thought I'd see the day when a man...actually a boy would have your attention. You're more concerned with sleeping with a rapper thug...than your future!" He said becoming angry with me. "What you think your mommy would say about this? She probably rolling 'round in her grave."

"You can't say shit about my mother! I'm very concerned about my future. But the boy you're talking about is a grown man that has supported me, more than you ever have. His dick game is just a bonus." I said as a matter of fact.

I officially didn't care anymore. This man was controlling and manipulative and I could see through his plans.

"Watch who you talkin' to", he shot off the chair. "I'm still your father and you will talk to me like you have some sense."

The way that he brought up my mother, struck a nerve in me. I was willing to suppress what he'd done and what he was still doing, until he brought her up.

"I ga tell ya this now." His real island accent revealed itself. "Men like Dave only do one ting to girls like you."

"And what would that be?"

"Lie. You ain't see it now, but in time you will. If you want to end up like the rest of these women out here...pregnant, no real career, no money of your own - begging a nigga for child support then so be it." He laughed bitterly to himself before heading to the door.

But I was not going to let him think he won.

"Before you go...", I opened my drawer and pulled out a folder of documents that I printed earlier this morning. "I talked to Grammy the other day, and she managed to go to the offices of a Mr. Thomas Cartwright and get me some information. In here you'll find the official order that says the house I grew up in and everything that surrounds it belongs to me. You can no longer fight me in court for it." I shoved the folder into his chest.

"You know during her last days, I watched her stress herself out because she thought she was leaving me with nothing. All she wanted to do was give me and Amir something...and you were trying to take it away."

I wasn't the least bit surprised when I found out that he was the one to contest my mother's will in court. He was trying to take ownership of the land without me finding out.

The act caused me to question the authenticity of every word that came out of his mouth since we reunited. How else was he trying to use and manipulate me?

A smug expression spread across his well-groomed face. He didn't look like a man, who had just been defeated.

"Allaya, there are some things you simply don't understand. But while we're giving each other gifts, you might as well take this one." He reached into his Burberry jacket, and pulled out a striking blue folder. It was heavy and not completely smoothe, like there was a flash drive in there. "Ask Dave what he did on his trip to Syracuse..."

"What is this?"

"We leave tomorrow evening. Your ticket is already paid for and the flight leaves JFK at seven. See you then.", he said confidently then kissed me on my forehead. "Good luck with your little project back home by the way. You were always too ambitious."

Too ambitious?

This didn't go how I'd expected it to. Instead of having the answers I wanted, I had way more questions. But one thing I knew for sure, I was not about to open that folder. Why would I look for trouble, when I could go straight to the source?

I placed it in my black Telfar bag before gathering my things to go home. Dave and I needed to talk.

/•/

After stepping off of the elevator. I walked briskly towards our bedroom but turned around after I heard laughing from the living room. I peaked my head over the couch to see Nene and Kairi on the floor playing with dolls.

Kairi looked up and saw me first, then dropped the doll and came barreling towards me.

"Lala!" She screamed her arms wide, nearly tripping over the big T-shirt she had on.

I tossed my bag and denim jacket onto the arm chair before yelling, "Riri!" and matching her energy.

She giggled in my arms as I attacked her small tummy.

"What are you still doing up?"

She just laughed even more and hid her face in my neck.

"Where's your daddy?"

"He said that he'd be right back." Nene responded throwing a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

Hmm, why didn't he text me?

"But I can't get this one to sleep. She just tricked me into playing dolls and watching Disney."

"Is that true Kai?" I asked, pretending to be shocked and tickling her even more.

"I'm not sleepy!", she squealed then yawned.

I plopped onto the couch with her still in my arms and sighed heavily.

"Long day?" Ne asked while handing me the bowl of popcorn.

"You don't know the half of it." I lounged in the chair and kicked off my shoes. Then I fixed Kairi on my chest and turned to watch The Lion King that was playing on the tv.

"You hungry? There's pizza in there...I even brought that veggie one you like with pineapples.", she remarked, her face showing disgust for my weird choice of pizza toppings.

"Mmm I'm not really feeling that and we're going out tonight. This popcorn is good though." I threw the salty snack on my tongue.

"You need to eat something else Lay. I haven't seen you eat more than that popcorn in the last few days. Plus you been throwing up a lot lately. You still havin' nightmares?"

"Nene I'm good. I'm eating and sleeping...I'm good.", I waved her off, hoping that she'd leave me alone. "But if you must know, I think the meds that Sherry gave me, have been making me sick. So, I have an appointment with her in the morning for some new ones." I admitted.

She continued to gaze at the tv, I knew that she was still beating herself up about what happened. But what was going on with me had little to do with her, and everything to do with Kyle.

"What about you...ready for tomorrow?"

I watched her face light up with excitement. She's been in such a good place lately, healing and glowing. Her cosmetics line was soaring, and she was finally moving into her warehouse tomorrow.

"Oh my gosh yesss bitch! I'm so fucking excited, I can't wait!" she gushed. I laughed at her and pointed at Kairi, who could easily be listening to her curse.

Ne closed her mouth and leaned over to look at the child. "Girl she's this close to going to sleep." She gestured with her fingers. "But anyway, I can't wait to finally get everything set up and with the new staff and inventory, Sadora Cosmetics will be official!" She cheered. "Wow I never thought that something like this would be possible."

"Nah I knew you were gonna get this big. Remember when you use to just sell lashes and stuff? From then, I saw how much you were passionate about what you were doing. You don't see that in a lot of people. Everyone wanna make a quick buck...but you always wanted more than that." I shoveled more popcorn in my mouth.

"Yeah you and Bri always believed in me. You didn't even wear lashes and you bought like fifty of them things." She laughed out.

"And I'd buy fifty more..." I told her honestly.

"After I get settled with the business...I'm moving out. You and Dave have been great hosts but I feel like I've overstayed my welcome."

"Ne you don't have to go. We love having you here." I looked down at her. She just shook her head at me. "At least stay until you fully recover."

"I'll be good. I've got a place already...it's in the same building as Jay actually." She admitted shyly.

I put the bowl on the coffee table and peered down at her with a big smile.

"Oh shit, so that's who's been coming here late at night? Here I was thinking that, I was the one making you so happy lately."

"Bitch shut up." she nudged my leg playfully. "We're just friends."

"Mhmmm"

There was a small comfortable silence between us. We both just watched the movie, while Kairi's back rose up and down with every sleepy breath she took. Out of instinct, I glided my hand up and down it.

"You're gonna be a great mommy some day."

"I am not having kids. You know they don't fit into my rich auntie aesthetic." I joked.

"You say that now...but when Dave big you up, it'll be a whole different tune." She rolled her eyes. "And by the way y'all go at it. That'll be pretty soon. The walls around here are paper thin."