I take back what I said

Rap music blasted loudly from the speakers outside of my room, along with the sound of laughter. The smell of weed and liquor wafted through the A/C vents and flooded the air.

It was currently 10:00 pm and Dave's party was in full swing.

I was still in my room getting ready so that I could made a quick appearance and then return to write an essay.

I was still irritated about what happened earlier and had every intention of ignoring East's presence.

I'll admit that I should have not freaked out on Millie but I'll be damned if I just stood there and allowed her to fling her dusty ass hands in my face.

I guess that I was mostly mad at the fact that he embarrassed me in front of my coworkers. He spoke to me like an errand girl, when I was the one helping him with everything these past two weeks.

Too bad my attraction towards him was still there.

I had already showered and moisturized, and was now in my walk-in closet looking for an outfit. My go-to sweats and a hoodie wouldn't work tonight.

Bummer because I'd rather be comfortable than cute.

I quickly swiped the velvet hangers along the steel rail until I came across a two-piece set that Bri bought in an attempt to get me to the club.

It was hot pink with the top being a self tie cropped sleeveless bra and the bottoms were flared out pants. I never found the courage to wear it. I didn't feel comfortable showing off my stomach or chubby arms in something this revealing.

I stared at it, a bit intrigued, and also a bit scared. I just want to feel pretty for once. Comfortable in my own skin, confident enough to wear what I want when I want to. Despite what anyone might think.

It was either this or jeans and a T-shirt.

Allaya you'd look like a dumbass wearing jeans to an event like this.

Besides, I'll only be out there for an hour at most, and I can hang with Eva the entire time. Plus no one will notice me anyway.

I yanked it off the rack and went to my vanity to do my makeup. I use to love playing in makeup, I was actually quite good at it before I stopped. I decided on a natural glowy look with a nude lip. Topping my Mac lip liner in Cork with clear lip gloss (y'all try this lip combo and thank me later 😉), I looked in my mirror and smiled.

There's the girl that was lost all that time. The girl that didn't need anyone's approval.

I put on my outfit, careful not to ruin my makeup then laced up my high heeled Versace gold sandals.

The last thing I did was swoop my edges on my top knot, add my jewelry, and spray my Tom Ford perfume.

One last look in the mirror before heading out there.

I was nervous as shit. I hated social occasions mainly because I would just sit down and be awkward. My mission was to avoid any attention and find Eva to chill with her, and maybe show my face to Shoota and the guys.

I opened my door only to be met with pulsating music and people blocking it. I murmured a quick excuse me before locking it with my key and venturing through the crowd.

Small get-together my ass. This penthouse was packed with all sorts of people. I noticed a few celebrities, a football player or two and a whole lot of ig models. Oooh tonight was going to be great for people watching. All I needed to do was find a drink and a seat.

I continued to push through the crowd of people, while feeling eyes on me the entire time. I wanted to cower in fear but remembered the little pep talk I gave myself in my room.

I noticed Eva sitting at the bar with Shoota and the guys and immediately headed over there.

She looked amazing in a checkered print dress and blazer set. The knee-high black patent leather boots she wore were to die for and she had her hair pulled back. Eva needed to leave the studio life behind and become a model.

"Hey guys!" I said while approaching the table.

All five sets of eyes turned towards me and widened. Now I'm uncomfortable.

"Aww shit Laya! You ain't tell us you got it like that", Freaky shouted while coming towards me.

I laughed and brushed passed him going to sit next to Eva.

"Got it like what?", I asked pretending to be confused.

"Shit if I knew you had all that under them sweats I would've spent way more time in your office.", Shoota said going around the bar.

"I thought you was gonna bail out on us and I'd have to drag ya ass out of that room."

I laughed as he poured five shots of Don Julio.

"Now drink up. We wanna see the real Laya!", he smirked flashing his gold grillz.

"Laya ain't bout that life. You know how these girls go, get her one of them pink drinks", Wayno shouted over the music.

I rolled my eyes while laughing. They obviously didn't know me. I could drink each of them under the table if I wanted to.

I picked up the first shot and downed it. Enjoying the warm and stinging sensation in my chest. I missed tequila. It was a vice that I enjoyed. I remember one too many nights that I spent with that bottle in college. Trying to drink away my worries. I downed the second one, then the third, next the fourth and when I picked up the fifth, Eva stopped me.

"Girl you don't have to do this. Don't mind these dumbasses."

"Trust me I got it", I exclaimed while downing the fifth shit.

"Woooooh what else you got?" I shouted, clearly loving the courage it gave me.

"Girl you are crazy! What the hell you got, a steel stomach or something!?", Freaky questioned with a shocked look on his face.

I felt good. The shots loosened me up but I wasn't drunk. I felt tipsy...but nice. I've never been drunk in my life and I didn't plan on getting wasted now.

"Can I have a real drink now?"

/•/

It was about two hours later and I couldn't lie. I was having fun. Eva never left my side the entire night and now we were on the couch listening to music and chilling.

I noticed Dave a while ago and he looked good as fuck too. Maybe it was the liquor talking or maybe it was because I was a virgin in my sexual prime, but either way I wanted to fuck the shit out of him.

Woah what was that? That's definitely the liquor talking. Allaya you don't even know how to have sex. And when did you start using that kind of language? When you drank them damn shots that's when.

I really needed to stop having conversations in my head.

Dave was currently on the balcony smoking with some of the guys and the artist that just released his album, Lil Ty. His hair was freshly braided and he wore a beige Dickie's suit and Timbs with a diamond studded Cuban link and a matching watch. A classic New York nigga outfit.

That shit oughta be a uniform.

A group of girls surrounded them. One of them in particular sitting in his lap. I noticed her from The Shaderoom's posts but couldn't remember her name . But I knew for sure that she was a jersey chaser, rapper hopper and everything in between. But who was I to judge.

I laughed slightly at myself, still staring at him. Until he looked up and his eyes locked with mine, then he blew a cloud of smoke out of his mouth.

His eyes were low and his tongue peeked out of his mouth to lick his bottom lip. That action right there, that one little movement, was enough to melt my panties.

Suddenly, he pushed the girl off of his lap and started to take long strides toward me with his blunt still in hand.

I quickly turned back to Eva who was babbling on about what had happened earlier and took a sip of my cranberry and vodka.

"Trust me boo if she comes back, we gon jump her in the parking lot." Eva said venomously.

I nearly spit out my drink at Eva's randomness, "That's a little extreme don't you think?" I retorted.

Before she could reply, Dave appeared in front of us.

"Wassup Eva? You mind if I steal Laya from you for a bit?", Dave asked while taking a long pull and blowing it back out.

Eva rolled her eyes. "Nope, she's all yours" she said while popping the "p".

"I was waiting for you two to stop making goo goo eyes at each other and actually talk. Y'all make me sick by the way. I'm gonna go bother Wayno and see if I can get him to take me home or at least to one of your guest rooms East", she said rather nonchalantly.

My eyes widened in shock at her sudden outburst. This girl was clearly drunk. But before I could respond she already made her way on wobbly legs to the balcony where Wayno was seated.

She pushed a girl that was standing in front of him out of the way, then lounged in his lap to whisper God knows what in his ear.

"I didn't even know that they were together.", I said in shock.

East chuckled and responded, "Neither did I, but you never know with Eva. Ah let's go in the kitchen where it's quiet and we got some privacy."

I followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter top with my hands in front of me. He sat on top of the island opposite me.

The shots I had taken before had me feeling braver than usual.

East stubbed out the blunt he was smoking in a random plate then rubbed the back of his neck.

I looked at the white nail polish on my feet waiting for him to speak.

"Laya, please look at me", he spoke softly. I was so used to him shouting at me that I didn't know how to react to his calmness.

"I realize that I've been apologizing a lot to you lately. And I'm gon try to make sure that this is the last time I have to do this. But I'm sorry for shouting at you and calling you out in front of all those people earlier. It was unfair for me to not listen to what you had to say..."

He stopped and I could tell that he was searching for the right words to say next.

"It's fine East...really. I should've known better than to say the things I did, especially in the workplace and especially to the mother of your daughter. I was just as wrong as she was." I sighed getting all of that out.

"Nah you wasn't. She disrespected you and you defended yourself. You shouldn't have to apologize for that. Now can we go back to being friends?" he said while giving me a small smile.

"Friends? When did we become friends?" I asked curiously.

He hopped off of the counter and stalked towards me, beginning to close the gap between us. His eyes were low and I could still smell the weed and Hennessy on him. It was an intoxicating combination and mixed with his cologne he was simply irresistible.

"We became friends when we fell asleep on the couch together. Actually we're besties now."

His eyes lazily glazed over the tops of my breast down over my bare stomach and my ass.

Suddenly, I was self conscious again and folded my arms over my stomach.

His eyes met mine and we stared for each other for a while. My chest began to beat rapidly and I broke contact with his eyes to stare at his lips.

Maybe it was the tequila for me or the weed for him. But his lips found mine quickly. My eyes shot open at the sudden contact then closed when his tongue slipped into my mouth.

Believe it or not but this was my first kiss and I didn't know what to do. I kind of just let him do all the work until I moved along with him in a rhythmic routine.

I groaned against him, my insides clenching and heart beating faster. He murmured a deep "Fuck" against my lips. Then his tattooed covered hands found my waist and he hoisted me onto the counter while continuing the assault on my mouth.

I didn't know where this was going but I turned off the voice in my head and focused on the pulsating vibration between my thighs. I gripped the back of his neck pushing him into me more until we heard the clatter of glass hitting the floor and he quickly backed up from me. My chest heaved with every breath I took.

A clumsy ass server dropped a tray of champagne flutes on to the floor after catching us in the act.

The server murmured a rushed apology before dashing out of the kitchen.

My hand found my swollen lips and I brushed my fingers against them, shocked at what we had just done.

Thoughts fumbled around in my head as I searched for what to say next. But Dave beat me to it.

"Look I'm high as fuck right now and I don't know what came over me. But I meant what I said about you being my friend Allaya."

And with that he walked out.

What the fuck just happened. A mistake, that's what.

________________

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(Sober by Mahalia)