Judah winces when I press the damp washcloth to his lip. "Sorry," I whisper. I attempt to move as gently as I can around the cut. He peeks up at me, and I keep my gaze averted. If I look at him right now, I won't be able to hold it together anymore.

"Elle?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "What?"

There's a long pause and I finally lower my eyes to his. "Are you with him?" he asks.

When I don't answer fast enough, he pulls the rag from my hand, catching my full attention. He tosses it to the table. "You are, aren't you?"

Ignoring him, I reach for the bag of ice lying next to the bloody washcloth and place it to his cheek. "You're already swelling up. It will look even worse if you don't take care of it now."

He grabs my wrist gently. "Elliot, please. Tell me that I'm wrong." I look down at him and see the panic in his eyes. "Tell me that you're not in love with him." His throat bobs when he swallows. "At least tell me that."

I'm not sure why it's so hard to admit it to him, but it is. He sees it in my face though. I can't hide that. My feelings for Hunter are too strong now to be denied anymore.

I take a step back from him and lean against the counter, gripping the edge to hold my balance. "I'm sorry," I say again and then take a shaky breath. "I don't know what else to say."

He looks at me like all the air has been knocked out of him. "How could you do this?"

"How could I do this?" I ask. I stand up straighter and draw my hand into my chest. "You're the one who wanted this."

Judah stands up from the chair abruptly and instantly regrets it, clutching his side. He lets out an angry breath through his nose. "I never asked for this. You weren't supposed to fall in love."

"What was I supposed to do, huh?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Sit around and wait for you until you banged every girl that made your dick twitch out of your system."

He shakes his head roughly. "No." His eyes lock on my mine, and the intensity in them brings me pause. "You were supposed to miss me."

My eyebrows pull in. "Miss you? How was any of this supposed to make me miss you?"

His eyes lower to the tile floor for a moment. "I wanted you to come with me." He looks up and gives me a guilty look. "I thought it would make you want to come to Cornell next year."

"Why would this make me want to do that?"

He narrows his eyes slightly. "I sure as hell didn't think it would make you bang your English teacher."

"Fuck you, Judah," I say , stepping forward. I point my finger at him. "It's not like that and you know it. He's our friend."

Judah laughs bitterly. "Not my fucking friend. Hunter and I were never bros." He cocks his head to me when I lower my hand. "I was cool with him because of you. That dude never looked at me right." He laughs again and then locks his eyes on me. "I never liked the way he looked at you, either."

"Things were completely innocent between us until recently."

Judah throws his arms out in frustration. "Yeah, so what changed? Don't you think I had a right to know?"

"Are you serious right now?" I point between us. "You and I were over. I didn't have to explain anything to you."

Judah's jaw clenches. "Dating someone and being in love with them are two completely different things."

I cross my arms around myself and look away from him. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I was just so—so tired of pretending I wasn't sad." I look back to him, and the anger I saw a moment ago is replaced with regret. "He took that away for me. It didn't hurt so much."

"If you were hurting so badly—" His voice trails off, and he takes a shaky breath. "If you were hurting at all because of me, you should have told me." He takes my face gently in his hands. "I shouldn't have to tell you how much you mean to me, but I will. I'll tell you every day how much I love you and how much I need you in my life. If you have to stay here next year, then I'll wait.

My eyes well up, and I choke on my own air. "Why are you telling me this now?" The words come out in a strangled whisper, and I watch his eyes squeeze shut like I wounded him.

"It's not too late," he says, mostly to himself. His eyes flick open again as my first tear falls. "Tell me it's not."

If I opened my mouth to speak, I know my words would break into a million pieces. I never wanted to hurt Judah—mentally or otherwise, but it is too late. I've already given my heart to someone else, and I have no intention of taking it back.

Judah sees my struggle, and a tear falls down his cheek. "Okay," he says, his voice thick. He grabs the rag from the table and wipes the rest of the blood from his lip before reaching for his hat. He slips it on backwards and starts toward the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

"If he's what you want, I won't stand in the way of your happiness." He turns over his shoulder. "I won't say anything either. I may not give a shit about his future, but I sure as hell care about yours."

Without another word, he slams the door behind him, and I slowly lower myself to the barstool. The tears are falling steadily now, and I'm not sure if they'll ever stop. Judah is being the guy I always wanted him to be, and Hunter is acting like a jealous psychopath. I know that's not how he really is. I know him. I've spent countless nights staying up with him, getting to know every corner of his heart and have never found a single part of it to be impure.

Something must have really set him off, and I need to find out why.

***

I don't go to the guest house after Judah leaves. I need time to think. I'm sure Hunter is upset, too—but I don't know what to say to him. Judah has gotten into fights with guys over me before, but this was different. It's not casual like it was before, if you can even call a fight casual. The emotions behind those blows were intense. They both feel like they're losing me, and the simple fact is, one of them already did.

I will always love Judah, that's something I can't take back. He's a part of me forever whether Hunter likes it or not. When this all began, I never expected to fall so hard and so deep for someone else, but I did. The love I have for Hunter consumes me and terrifies me at the same time. In the past few months, the dynamic of our relationship has changed so much that I'll never be able to go back to being his friend. You can't love someone the way that I love him and do that.

I'm lying on my side, staring at the blank screen of my phone. He didn't even text me. Maybe what Judah said really hit a nerve and now I'm too much trouble for him? Despite the fear of rejection, I type out a text and send it quickly. I shove my phone face down, and my heart pounds while I wait for his reply.

It goes so long that my chest almost seizes up completely—but when I pick it back up, I see those three dots flashing.

I practically jump from my bed and pull on a pair of sweatpants. After twisting my hair on top of my head, I quietly slip down the stairs and out of the back door.

All of the lights are off in the guest house, and I slowly push the door open. I scan around the room and don't see him anywhere. I walk further down the hall and peek in the bedroom. He's lying on his side facing the wall.

I slide in behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I place a kiss on his cheek, and he sighs. "I love you, Hunter," I whisper.

His hands lace with my mine, and he brings them tight to his chest. He's shaking, and I can't tell if it's from his recent rage or something else.

"I'm sorry," he says softly.

I pull one of my hands away and run it through his thick, blond hair. "You know that I only want you, right?" He doesn't answer, and it causes my stomach to drop further. I take a shallow breath. "Hunter?"

He turns around to face me, resting his hand on my hip. His eyes are so sad it breaks my heart instantly. "This is really hard for me."

"All relationships are hard sometimes," I say softly.

He shakes his head. "No, not for me. I've never loved anyone before—I never let myself love someone the way I love you."

"Why?"

His eyes shift away from mine and down to the space between us. "What did Ollie tell you about me?"

"Nothing," I say quickly. I grab his face, so he has to look at me. "He told me nothing, and I'm glad he didn't. I want to hear it from you."

Hunter laughs bitterly. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"You're right," I say, letting go of him and inching back a little. He mirrors my position and rests on his elbow. "I don't know what I'm asking for because you never really let me in."

He sighs and then reaches for my hand. His fingers thread back and forth through mine slowly, but he doesn't meet my eyes. "I didn't grow up like you did. I didn't have a family to teach me things like love." His gaze lands on mine. "My father is a horrible man. That's not just me being cynical, there isn't a decent bone in his body."

"Is that why you don't see him?"

He laughs once. "I can see him any time I want. That's why we're here—my mother and I. She followed him when he got sent to prison."

Prison? A million scenarios run through my mind of what he could've done and why Hunter obviously feels responsible for it. I'm not even sure what to say. He's watching me, waiting for a response, so I work to keep my features neutral.

"Why?"

He blows out a long breath and leans in to kiss my forehead. He pulls back a little and looks in my eyes. "You sure you want to hear this?"

I grab his face and kiss him hard. I try to put every ounce of love I have for him into it, so he knows how invested in this relationship I really am. He kisses me back for a moment and then laughs against my lips. "Is that a yes—or?"

I nod. "It's a yes. I want to know every part of you. Even the ones you're afraid of."

"I wanted to protect you from that," he whispers. His voice is nearly broken, and I find myself on the verge of tears again.

Instead of breaking down and losing it, I give him a small smile and gently cup the side of his face. "Well, I want to protect your heart." I lean over and kiss him slowly. "Please, let me."