《Tragic》Chapter One: Worth It
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In three days, I turn eighteen.
I've been staring at the blades of the fan spin on my bedroom ceiling for hours now. My mind has been racing about the future and it has me worried that I'm making a mistake. I'm not sure why my impending adulthood is causing me to reconsider all of my life's choices, but it is. I turn my head and lock my gaze on exhibit A.
Judah is still sleeping beside me, his lips slightly parted with soft snores. We've been together for almost four years now, but our relationship is about to change. It's not that we've fallen out of love with each other, or even that we had a serious fight. The only thing that will be different is the distance between us. Seven hours to be exact.
I watch Judah sleep for a moment before turning on my side and moving his arm to rest on my hip. There isn't one feature of his face that I would change. From his short, dark brown hair, sculpted jaw line, and all the way down his six-foot two frame. If I could just do something about his attitude, he'd be perfect.
My hand runs through the soft stubble on his cheek, causing him to stir slightly. After mumbling something incoherent for a moment, his honey brown eyes slowly peek up at me. "It's too early, babe."
I lean forward with a smile and place a quick kiss on the other side of his face. "I know," I say, sitting up in the bed. "I wanted to let you know I'm going for a run."
Judah laughs and then turns his head away to cough roughly. I'm surprised he can even speak at this point. Last night he was completely wasted—and acting like a total dick. One last party with our friends all together before half of us move on to college and the rest start senior year. To be honest, it felt like an end to a lot of things and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
My feet hit the plush carpet and I stand up from the bed. He stretches out, groaning as the full effects of his hangover more than likely hit him.
After pulling on a pair of track pants and tank top, I turn back to him. "You don't have to get up. I'll be back soon."
He flashes the same sexy smirk that gets me every time. "Don't be too long. I'm only home for a couple more days."
That statement makes my heart sink a little deeper in my chest. When Judah graduated at the beginning of the summer that should've been the end of us. I think there's rules about that sort of thing when it comes to high school sweethearts. But instead of breaking up, we both agreed to an open relationship when we're apart. That may seem cut and dry, but we never talked about what would happen if one of us fell in love. Is there an out clause if we do, or is this all just temporary?
So many questions are already forming in my mind, and he hasn't even left yet.
He doesn't wait for my reply before rolling over and falling back to sleep. With a sigh, I head to the adjoining bathroom to perform my daily routine before going down to the kitchen. It's barely seven in the morning, but I always get up early to run with my older brother Oliver.
The house is extremely quiet, so I try to make as little noise as possible while I begin to prepare breakfast. As an athlete, I'm not one of those girls who starves themselves to maintain a banging body.
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As I'm reaching into the refrigerator for some eggs, I hear footsteps stomp along the hardwood floors. Ollie must be awake already.
"I'll run at least seven miles today. I know I drank a lot last night and I don't need a lecture from you," I say, not looking up. Having your brother as your track coach and personal trainer does have its drawbacks.
"It's not Oliver," Hunter remarks roughly.
I stifle a laugh when I see my brother's best friend stumbling around the corner. Apparently, we all went a little hard last night.
His messy blond hair is sticking up on one side and his pale blue eyes are bloodshot. He clears his throat and leans along the large granite island in the center of the room.
"Ollie's still entertaining his company from last night, so you're stuck with me this morning."
My eyes roll to the heavens. Oliver Monroe is the embodiment of the salacious playboy. He believes that every inch of ground he walks on should be worshiped by everyone that crosses his path. If you don't believe that, you could just ask him—he'll tell you. That being said, I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything. Our parents are so busy operating the ski resort we own across town that he practically raised me. That could have a lot to do with the thought process on my current situation. I can't name a single girl that would be okay with an open relationship. Especially with a quarterback that has a reputation for roaming hands.
The irritation is no doubt written all over my face. "Who's this one?" I ask in a short tone, and turn to open the refrigerator. I pull out two bottles of water and hand one to him.
He gives me a grateful smile and takes a large swig before answering. "Molly. He had her chasing him around most of the night so I saw it coming."
I turn away from him and go back to making to my eggs when he continues. "I slept on the couch in the guest house. Big mistake."
With a laugh, I glance over my shoulder. "Aw, you got a front row seat to the show?"
Hunter grabs an apple from the wire basket sitting on the counter, and I'm captivated as he takes a bite, juice dripping down from his lips. When his tongue swipes out to catch it, I avert my eyes quickly. Hunter has always been extremely attractive to me, but I'm guessing the lack of love I'm currently feeling is starting to skew that into something weird. He's like a second brother to me—nothing more.
His deep chuckle snaps me out of it and I reach for a sauce pan. I place it on the stove and crack several eggs in before turning around to see the devastation on his face. "Yeah," he says, swallowing another bite. "I didn't fucking sleep at all."
"I can run by myself, you know. You don't need to go with me."
He smiles. "I don't mind, Elle. I like running with you."
The sincerity in his tone makes me smile back. Sometimes it's nice to have someone you can rely on.
***
My lungs burn like they're on fire, and each one of my legs feel as if they weigh a thousand pounds. This doesn't stop me. Hunter is gaining on me, which only makes me push harder. If I were being honest, he's probably letting me win.
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"Come on, Elle. Just a little further," Hunter pants from behind me. He barely grits the words out, so the exhaustion is taking a toll on him as well. Good. This is the longest we've ever ran together, and if he really is letting me win, I'd hate to think I'm making it easy on him.
I steal a glance back and catch a glimpse of the sweat trickling down his sculpted, tanned torso. Quickly, I face forward, but not before seeing the hint of a smile his face. He's definitely letting me win.
Pushing through the pain, I almost collapse on the wooden rungs of the fence. My chest heaves in an out when I lean over, sweat pouring down the back of my neck and soaking through my sports bra. His hand clutches my shoulder and I almost cringe away. Being this sweaty cannot be sexy—not that I care or anything.
"That was perfect, Elle. Your fastest time yet."
I nod. My mouth is so dry I'm not sure words will come out. He smiles again and hands me his water bottle.
After taking a much needed drink, I reach back and pull together the matted brown curls that have fallen from my ponytail and refasten them on top of my head. His eyes wander up my body when I stretch upward. His attention has my lips curling into another smile. I too, enjoy being wanted.
"Elliot?"
My eyes snap back to Hunter, and he laughs a little. "You cool? You seem off today."
I shake my head, and despite my best attempts, a few long tendrils fall from my intricate bun. "I was just thinking is all."
He rolls his hand in a keep going motion. "About what?"
My response is hesitant and I'm not sure why. "Summer coming to an end. Starting senior year—without Judah."
He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and squints into the sunlight. "What's up with you two anyway? He seemed extra douchey last night."
I lean back against the fence, and try my best to remain casual. It's too soon to be acting so needy. Judah didn't even leave yet.
"He's just trying to live it up the best he can before he goes to Ithaca next week."
"Ah, yes—Cornell. He'll be seven hours away at college. How are you going to deal with that?"
I shrug. "We have an understanding."
Hunter shoots me a skeptical look before handing the water bottle back. "Which is?"
"Don't ask, don't tell."
He laughs loudly. "Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane."
"It's makes perfect sense actually. I'm staying here for at least another year, and after that I've made it pretty clear I'm going to WVU. No reason to torture ourselves with that long-distance bullshit if we don't have to."
"And both of you are completely cool with that?"
Again, I only nod in response.
Hunter shakes his head, clearly not sold on any part of it. "That's just asking for trouble. One of you—most likely him—is going to take full advantage of that arrangement and fuck everything beyond repair." When my eyes widen, he laughs again. "You should break up now."
"If it's meant to be then it will, and if not?" I give half a shrug. "There's somebody better out there that I haven't met yet."
He raises an eyebrow. "Do you honestly mean that? I know you guys haven't been totally solid over the years, but you've been together a long time. This is a drastic change."
I narrow my eyes at him and push off from the fence. My stomach doesn't flip the way it did earlier when I thought about Judah being with someone else. Maybe I've come to expect it from him—or maybe I don't really care anymore. "I'm fine with it," I say calmly.
Hunter laughs again stretching his hamstrings back with his hand and leaning forward slightly. I watch the beads of sweat trickle from his almost too long blond hair, before he reaches back and grabs the other leg.
I cross my arms. "Why are you so concerned with what I'm doing?"
Hunter scoffs. "It's ridiculous. If Judah wants to be an ass and fuck sorority girls behind your back, he should do it alone." His eyes suddenly turn darker and the muscle in jaw starts to tick. "You shouldn't let him treat you like that, Elle."
His light, blue eyes, so unlike my hazel ones, pierce me with intensity. The more penetrating his look becomes, the harder it gets to turn away from them. I give him a playful shove in an attempt to diffuse the tension I created.
"I said it's fine." He doesn't budge, so I keep going. "I'm starting school next week anyway. He's only staying for my birthday and then he's leaving for Cornell for a least a few months. His football schedule alone is packed."
"And you think that'll be enough to keep him distracted?"
His words are starting to make me angry. He's being awfully judgmental for someone who lives with a girl he barely considers his girlfriend. Honestly, I've never seen Hunter be serious with anyone period. It must be a bond he shares with my brother. There's four years between us, but I swear sometimes I think I'm more mature than he is.
I huff a humorless laugh. "I guess we'll see."
When I move towards the road again, he steps in my path. His hand falls to my waist and I look up at him. "I'm not trying to be a dick, Elle. I'm just looking out for you." He kisses my forehead and then takes a step back. He puts one of his earbuds back in and shakes his head in disappointment. "You deserve so much better than that."
I don't even have a chance to open my mouth before he starts jogging towards the road. Hunter's always been protective of me, so I get where he's coming from. I'm not sure why this kind of behavior is acceptable to me, but it just is. I've never had a good reason to question my worth before, but Hunter's words resonate in me for some reason.
I stretch my legs quickly and take off down the path after him. When I reach the bend, Hunter is jogging leisurely along the side of the road. He waits for me to catch up and this time he doesn't race me. We run side by side the entire three miles back to the house.
My heart pounds in my chest when we finally reach the driveway. No matter how much I try to calm it, for the first time, I think it's about to break.
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