vagary (n.) || an unpredictable instance, a wandering journey

her decision.

She waited until the night staked its temporary claim, when the house was quiet, and she snuck to her window. Upon pulling it open, a warm breeze caressed her skin, and she inhaled the wondrous scent evening dew. She kind of missed the scent of the earth during the winter, the only downfall on her favorite season. She slipped herself over the window ledge and jumped down to land on the roof over the backdoor. From there, she jumped to the ground and all but sprinted to the barn.

Maybe it was the excited nerves electrifying her, or the fear trying to scream at her, she didn't know. It felt right, though, and she couldn't let herself back out now. It took her two days to come to her conclusion and all that time wasn't spent for nothing. She weighed each of her options carefully, but in all reality she only had one.

The darkness never even phased her and as she grew closer to the barn, she could hear a melody being sung above her own erratic heartbeat. She paused to listen for a moment and realized it was her wolves softly howling from inside the barn. They worshiped the moon although they couldn't see it and her heart skipped a beat. There was no going back now.

Upon opening the door, there was utter silence and she swore she could feel their surprise at her presence, and then six pairs of glowing eyes stared unblinking at her from the shadowed barn. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to. Restless nights have silenced her. Only actions spoke.

Her wolves seemed to instantly understand, maybe they knew it was time, too, and they came into the world of which they belonged. Skeet and Thane licked her hands in thanks as they passed while Cross flicked his tail against her. She watched their murky coats glow beneath the moon, wisps of smoke skimming a steel surface.

She didn't even breathe when the six brothers gathered and stood before the forest that was calling to them. She had chosen, and now it was time for them to choose. For a moment, watching their majestic bodies against the shadows, she had the desire to join them and worship the moon as they, but then she remembered that she was only human.

Another moment, and she watched as her wolves bound into action and the shimmer of the moon swallowed their bodies into shadows. This was it. She had finally done it, committed to her decision, and something within her soul was absolutely peaceful. Somehow, she already knew. It wasn't a goodbye.

She waited a few moments, listening to the silence of the haunting night, and then she sighed. They finally had their freedom. She returned to her house and just as she climbed into the window, she heard a howl in the distance.

She wasn't afraid, she knew that it was her wolves, and somehow she knew that it was a promise. She slept in peace that night, her soul content with her choices, because she felt as thought it couldn't be the end of her wolves just yet.

And, by morning, she returned to the barn by the first sight of daylight. Her father still slept and she needed to know. She had already prepared herself for every outcome, told her heart to keep itself at bay. Miraculously, she never shed any tears or felt completely torn, and she couldn't explain it. As she approached the barn, her stomach clenched in anticipation, a nervous flip of excitement, and she secretly crossed her fingers.

A gasp escaped her.

They had returned. Her wolves were curled up in the stall she had set up for them, their noses buried in the blankets she had provided them with, and they groggily glanced up upon hearing her approach.

"You guys came back," She whispered, falling on her knees, and they tilted their heads as if to say, why wouldn't we?

Ever scooted closer to her, resting his head on her lap, and she scratched his ears lovingly. Her wolves returned. She glanced over them but stopped short when she realized that only five wolves laid before her. Cross was missing.

"Did your brother runaway?" She held Ever's face in her hands and he seemed like he wanted to roll his eyes, "Where is he, then?"

She heard a twig snap outside and she turned in surprise. As if it was his trademark cue, Cross gracefully moved through the barn door with three rabbits clasped in his jaws. She couldn't stop the grin that overtook her face. They had all returned, willingly.

She chose to give them freedom and they chose her. She could hardly believe herself. The wolves woke more from their hazy state as Cross dropped their breakfast in the middle of the barn and they lazily ambled over one by one. She watched in amusement. Cross had gone out hunting and he let his brothers eat before him. She couldn't decide if it was usual behavior for wolves or not, at some point she had stopped asking questions and just gone along with her wolves.

For the following days, she went about her usual routine and it felt like home. A wonderful fantasy that she longed to be a forever. She would complete her chores and when her father was at work, she would simply walk into the forest. Sometimes, her wolves were in the barn, other times they were out hunting or playing, but they always knew when she was around. They always came to greet her, she never had to search for them.

She spent hours in the thawing forest playing with them. She would run with them, tussle with them, and sometime pretend to hunt with them. They treated her like she was one of them and it gave her wild soul a breath of life. She had never felt so accepted, even within her own friend group. She knew all the kids in town but most were younger than her and Avery was an awesome friend, but they still had their differences and dislikes.

Out of everything in her life, the last thing she expected to bring her undying happiness were her six wolves. She would have screamed if she saw a glimpse of her life now two years ago, the wolves terrified her. Yet, her wolves were her comfort. Her castle.

The days sped by and she increasingly tried to ignore the impending summer months. Some nights, she laid awake pondering and worrying, and other nights she fell asleep to the melodic lullabies of her wolves. Long ago, the nightmare had vanished and never came back. She was hopeful to finally be able to live normally.

For what it was worth, she just wanted to live in the woods with her wolves. If she didn't have to face reality, she wouldn't. But, her little town was full of men who loved to hunt, and they would undoubtedly stumbled upon her wolves over time. She was aware of the danger and eventually she was forced to face it head on. How could she ignore it? Summer was on the brink and more than one choice needed make.

Suddenly, within the short span of her found peace, it seemed that everything was spiraling out of control in a sudden hurricane. She had enjoyed every moment of her time with her wolves but now it felt like she was utterly out of control. And this time, the choice she would make wouldn't be easy nor peaceful.

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