SEBASTIAN

The night passed, with the air caressing my face. I sat with my legs dangling from the bridge's railings.

''Hey! You are going to fall!!" As he drove away, a man yelled through his car's window.I shook my head in amusement; if he truly cared, he would have approached me to ensure I didn't fall. He's just like the other thousand individuals in my life, people who don't care about me and never will.

But a little part of me hoped that she understood me and that maybe, just maybe, she would believe in me.

I let out an amused chuckle, chuckling at my naivety.

But it isn't her fault, is it?

I'm messed up, and even I'd be fucking exhausted if I tried to keep up with myself. I'm not expecting her to sustain. Who would, after all?

When my father did not.

I took out my phone and looked at her picture, the last one with us, her raven hair twirled past her shoulder as she smiled and gazed at me, as I stared back. Her eyes were filled with love, while mine were filled with amazement. I can't remember the last time I missed her so much, my chest burned while my vision clouded with tears.

Because the most beautiful and amazing lady I had ever known, my mother, was no longer with me.

A scream burst from my throat, and my heart blazed with rage.

"Sebby, where are you, baby?" her beautiful voice reverberated through the living room as I crouched behind the sofa. I laughed quietly and immediately covered my lips.

I could detect a grin in her voice as she said, "Ahh, I heard that."

''Where have you gone?" As her footsteps approached, she prodded, and my heartbeat quickened.

"I'll find you, baby."

My heartbeat slowed as the footsteps came to a halt in front of the sofa.

''Where is he?" she whispered, and I could hear her footsteps in the distance. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt the pride of victory whirl about in my chest. Playing with mommy is my favorite thing to do since she is such a wonderful person to be around. My mum is my best friend.

''Gotcha!!" she exclaimed as I peered up a little to see her receding form. And then someone yanked me up, and mommy's heavenly laughing echoed throughout the house.

"Mommy!" I whined as she laughed and kissed my nose. I couldn't help but giggle when she began tickling me.

''Well, if this isn't the scene I'd want to see every day," my father said from the living room's entrance, resting against the door. He had a huge grin on his face, and I couldn't help but exclaim joyfully, "Dad!!" I motioned with my hands for him to carry me.

"There's my boy," he chuckled as he took me in his arms.

"Your son has lost with me again," Mommy teased.

''My son is generous, which is why he let you win, right champ?" Dad cracked a smile.and I nodded wildly as both of my parents laughed.

"No wonder he loves you more," mum rolled her eyes as dad chuckled and kissed her while drawing her to his chest with his other hand.

"I love this," Mommy murmured dreamily as she kissed Dad's chest.

Everything was perfect until it wasn't.

My chest heaved violently as my mind wandered to all of our beautiful times. After she left, gone was the man she loved, so was the kid she cherished.

My mother died in a car accident; she was a social worker who loved to serve the needy, and her name is still honored as Madeline Greyson. The lady who died in the service of her devotion.

My chest tightens as I recall our final memory.

"Come back soon," I said as another tear spilled from my eyes.

Thunderclaps swept over the sky, making me shiver.

"I will, sweetheart," she said quietly, caressing my cheeks.

''Please don't go, the weather is already awful," Dad murmured quietly as he drew her closer to his chest and kissed her lips.

''You know I have to, honey." Even though she smiled, a tear dropped from her eyes.

"Take care of him." She whispered through her tear-stained eyes and knelt down on my level, ''and you gentlemen, take care of the big bad wolf for me, would you?" she smiled as I nodded with a light smile and dad rolled his eyes.

Take care of him.

Were her final words to us.

That night, dad tossed and turned in bed as I pretended to sleep by looking at the wall with a dreadful feeling whirling in my chest. The phone rang just as Dad was about to toss again, and he immediately stood on his toes, assuming it was mum. Little did we know, it was a call for an eternal change, a call for a life full of misery. A call that reported to us, that we lost the love of our lives.

I know she won't be proud, and I know if she's seeing us right now, she'll be devastated and sad.

Take care of him.

We do not even say two words to each other, mum. Caring is not even close.

''I don't know what to do'' I whispered looking at her picture, her smile.

Despite the fact that it was cold, the surge of air passed my face, sending warmth to my chest. My life changed after she left. While Dad had completely distanced himself from me, I couldn't remember the last time he genuinely smiled. I was sent away to a boarding school and lived alone.

Parties, getting drunk, and fucking every single moist hole became a pastime. I became the physical embodiment of what my mother despised: a manwhore.

My phone rang, and a small part of me beamed at the notion that maybe she was calling. And it just deflated when I read the name while frowning.

My chest burned once again, but she didn't care, did she?

And maybe she simply assumed what she always thought, that maybe I was fucking someone, having no idea I couldn't do it after her ray dropped into my darkness, after our first kiss.

This is the place where I find serenity and tranquillity.

''Hello," his deep voice spoke as I answered my phone.

''Hello,'' his deep voice greeted my ears, as I answered my call.

''Hey dad'' I said quietly. There was a minute of silence.

''Are you free?'' He asked. I wanted to laugh; no how are you, nothing, straight to point as always. No, I am not, I wanted to say but went against it.

''Yes''

''Are you coming back home for the gala?'' he asked quietly.

''Yes,'' I needed to meet Nona after all.

"See you there then," he said as he hung up the phone.

This is how we spoke; I would never be able to contact him without first speaking through his assistant, and the only time we spoke was when he called.

Our lives had changed, and I couldn't believe this was the same man who usually kissed me and played with me when he got home from work.

My thoughts wandered to the one who had captured every thought of mine. Ella. I didn't deserve her, and neither did any other living man.

She was the epitome of a goddess, an angel, yet I couldn't stop myself from reliving her sensual sighs and tiny gasps as my lips stroked her body and caressed her beauty.

The girl of my dreams, who just happened to be the one who didn't want me as much as I wanted her, and no matter how much my chest aches at the notion, it's clearly for the best, because if Jake found out I'd touched even a hair on her body, he'd murder me alive.

Why didn't she believe me?

I couldn't remember the last time I had so many emotions rush through my body, and it was excruciating.

A scream burst through my heart once again as I cried, bringing her photo in my chest.

"Why did you leave?" I whispered.

"Why did you leave?" I shouted my way across the never-ending void.

While water raged beneath me, my voice reverberated over the deserted bridge.

"It hurts, mama," I whispered, staring up at the sky, "everything fucking hurts."

Perhaps this was how fate dealt with me. Perhaps this was life. A life in which you conceal your feelings and your sorrows behind a smile; a life in which no one can explain injustice but evil mastery.

That night, I cried my soul out, until I was exhausted, until there was not a tear to shred, and until my heart felt lighter, because sometimes in life, you have to let go.