Isn't it always captivating and pleasant to watch the moon, to see her come back to life, to see her half-full and half-empty? Isn't the moon beautiful? She glows at night, when no one notices her, and hides during the day when no one can see it; it's as if she knows how beautiful and captivating she is, and she loves conserving her beauty, and only those who know that, are enchanted by her beauty at night.

I'm one of them. Leaning against Seb's car's window, I am staring at the moon, which has my entire attention.

The cops had arrived, but Mave and Jace had made sure that Sebastian was out of sight. And even when I think it's over, it isn't.

Something grabs my attention as it brushes my hand on my thigh. I look down at my hand and notice that Sebastian's fingers are on the console, but they are gently intertwining with mine. I don't say anything, just stare at our intertwined hands. I enjoy the feel of his large rough hands and how well our hands fit together.

He doesn't glance in my direction; instead, he drives with one hand on the steering wheel and tenses when he notices my attention on him; he gulps and tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

My cheeks flush, and I turn aside, grateful for the darkness and his focus on the road.

My heart is racing, and something within me is fluttering; I want to giggle but don't know-how. My gaze is drawn to the coat and the ripped shirt that I'm wearing. I bit my bottom lip to hold back tears. I gulp and glance outside once again, as a lump forms in my throat.

I just want to see my mother. All I want is, for her to hold me. I need someone. I don't want to be by myself today.

But, alas, I am and have always been.

From the time I discovered Luke cheating on me until today's incident. I was alone at the time, and I am alone now.

But as my gaze returns to our intertwined hands, I don't feel alone any longer.

When my thoughts drift back to the events of earlier today, I close my eyes. The grip on my hands becomes tighter, and I swallow and open my eyes.

I need to be tough. One night with a horrible incident will not be enough to break me. They'll need more than that. I squeeze his hands with that notion in mind.

And, strangely, even though we're not looking at each other or talking, we're still communicating, as if there's an ethereal bond between us.

For the rest of the ride, we clasp each other's hands together. The moon has mesmerized my thoughts, and it quickly wanders to the question,

Do I just deserve misery and heartbreak?

Did I not deserve an ounce of happiness?

''Be patient. Happiness comes to those who wait''

Mum always used to say. But how much more can I take, how much more can I stand? How much more heartbreak can there be? How much more sadness can there be? It's as if happiness isn't written in the book of my existence. I believe that death is the best alternative.

The notion itself makes me shudder.

Fuck, no what am I thinking?

I need to be tough. I know it will be difficult, but I am certain that I can do it. This life, so many others are dying to have the life I have, and I can't just throw it away because I'm upset.

As a sigh escapes my mouth, I close my eyes and relax back in my seat.

I'm not even sure what I want anymore.

I want to wail, but I have to keep my composure. I have a solution, it's something that I always do.

I reach for my clutch and pull out my phone with my other hand. My hands are trembling, but I have to do it.

''Ells'' Sebastian's attention shifts to me, his brow wrinkled and his eyes worried.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I simply need to get it out. It's too much," I mumble with my trembling fingers.

His hand slips away from mine, and my gaze shifts to him.

''You will be alright," he whispers.

"Will I?" With my glistening eyes, I asked.

He gulped and nodded, saying, "I'll make sure."

I fumble the phone in my hands, open my notepad with trembling fingers, and begin writing.

Why is everything so difficult? Why does everything appear to be a test? What is causing my heart to ache? Why do I have the sensation that there is a hole in my heart? People come and go, as do their joys and sorrows. Everything feels hollow and empty, at the same time as if there is a heavyweight on everything.

I just want to go home, I just want to be wrapped in mum's warmth, where she always shields me, I just want to be the young naive me again. I just want to return to my childhood.

But, sadly, this is not a possibility. I've passed that point, and now it's time to be self-sufficient and rescue myself.

Only this time I don't feel like I'm alone.

My writing comes to a halt as the car comes to a standstill. I let out a sigh, but the aching doesn't go away, even though I feel a lot lighter.

''Do you feel better?" Sebastian asked quietly, his gaze fixed on me. I give a nod and exit the car. A throbbing headache bursts in my brain, causing me to clench my teeth in frustration. I hurry up to the elevator so that I may go home as soon as possible.

Sebastian doesn't say anything but quickens his steps to reach me. The elevator doors open and two people exit; without lifting my head, I enter the elevator with Sebastian behind me.

We rise silently and enter the apartment silently, and before I can take another step, a hand clasps my wrist.

"Wait," He says, I turn around and stare at him, emotionless.

He clenches his jaws and lets go of my hand, muttering, "let me set the bath for you."

I nod and move on, leaving him in my shadow. My fragrance covers me the instant I enter the door to my room, reminding me of how dirty I am at the moment. The monster's filthy hands have left my body scarred and soiled.

My eyes began to well up with tears, but I sniffed and wiped them away with my palms.

''The bath is ready-'' before he can continue, I approach the bathroom, nod, and close the door in his face.

I can't.

I can't.

I can't.

I slid onto the floor, my back against the door. Just as the tears begin to pour and the agony in my chest increases, a faint whimper escapes from me.

Someone knocks on the door, and the desire to shatter anything swirls in my head like a tornado in a storm.

''Don't stay long," the person murmurs. I wipe my eyes and get up, only to see the reflection of a terribly shattered girl in the mirror in front of me.

Her eyes are no longer gleaming with pride, but rather weary and sorrowful. Her pale complexion grew clammy, and the eyeliner dripped from her eyes; she appeared damaged and unfixable, and a sob sprang from my throat and when I saw her. My gaze was drawn to the ripped t-shirt, and I couldn't help but scream.

With each scream, I tossed away everything in my sink, and the agony in my heart grew worse. Someone was pounding on the door and yelling at me, but I couldn't hear anything because all I wanted to do was destroy something and slaughter that man. With my teeth clenched, I struck the wall. The pain in my hands exploded, yet it was still more manageable and comforting than the pain in my heart.

''Why?'' I sobbed as tears streamed down my cheeks and my legs gave way, letting me fall to the ground.

''Ells!'' Someone yelled from behind the closed door, but my body was too weary to respond.

''Ells! ''Open the door!" the person shouted as he slammed the door constantly.

"I can't-" I couldn't think of anything to say, and my eyesight was becoming fuzzy as my breathing got faster.

''Fuck! I'm breaking in!" and there were some additional noises that my head couldn't pick up on.

Before my eyes closed and oblivion engulfed me, my gaze met the blue ones, which provided my heart respite from the anguish, the ache of loneliness, it seemed troubled and concerned, and I couldn't help but smile as I closed my eyes.

Because even if I leave today, my heart is content that he is here, with me. Whether it's for a second or a minute, he's here, and that's all that matters.