So, I've written it. Book of 28 suicidal poems that are personal to me, but I can imagine that they are personal to a lot of other people too. And one that represents how others feel when you leave them.

This was my way to say goodbye. To suicide.

My darlings, if you're in a bad place, if you know you need help, please reach out. It doesn't have to be your friend, your family, or a freaking shrink. It can be a total stranger. It can be me. But don't be alone in this mess. You're not alone. While writing this poems and thoughts that occoured to me in the shower, I've learned something. Nobody is ever truely alone.

If you didn't know, sometimes people at the bus stop notice you. Sometimes they wonder why you weren't there at 7:30 am like every other day. Sometimes people remember you in the bakery at the end of the street where you always buy something to eat during break. They wonder why you haven't came that day. Sometimes you make someone smile just by your appereance. They like your style or you remind them of someone they do or used to know.

People will miss you. I will miss you. Who else is gonna boost my ego with their comments? I'm joking. About the boosting my ego part. Kind of.

Look, to you it might seem like a bunch of nonsense. My monologue here. But in a last year or so I've met a lot of people and let loose a little. And I kind of see things differently. I know I would think this is bunch of bullshit two years back. I mean, compare this author's note with the one I've written a year ago when I first published this book. It's kind of different isn't it? I'm not full of enthusiasm but I'm at peace.

Life is like math. Hard, annoying, a pain in the arse, confusing, jumbled mess. But guess what? Each and every equasion has a solution.

So, to stop my rant here.

I love you. Each and every one of you. If you're just passing or here to stay, I love you. And I hope you're okay.

Here's a calming cat. Treasure it.

Nika is offline.

P.S. I will probably update this book a little here and there, add a few songs or pictures that I kinda like and IDK. Something.