"i don't like to see you like this."

𝕬 series of coughs and painful wheezes fill the expanse of the stall. semi eita is hunched over the toilet, his chest was beating quickly and his throat felt tight, suffocating - he could not sip in any saccharine oxygen into his brittle lungs no more, not when tiny petals spill from his strawberry lips.

semi was red all over; his cheeks, his shaky hands, the blood. his insides felt of a garden overgrowth breathing within him like a monster, and his unrequited heart that pitter patter a sad rhythm floods his mind. he shakes it off, he wipes his mouth and unsteadily climbs back to his feet only to crash right back down. semi clenches his teeth, clenches fistful of his uniform and clenches his fist tightly, enough for his short and trimmed nails to bite into his skin raw and painful.

everything was so so painful-

two soft knocks make him freeze, then a voice so familiar and foreignly soft fills his ears, "semi-san?"

"s,shirabu?" semi highly doubts that the second-year setter was the one standing beyond the bathroom door right now. that brat gifted with a sharp tongue and dressed with a salty-dipped soul, the setter he was inferior to. however, semi uttered his name nonetheless, still heaving oxygen into his chest.

"can you open the door?"

swallowing harshly, semi urges his screaming bones to move, he strains himself to open the door before leaning back, allowing the door to open, revealing shirabu, his mocha eyes shadowed beneath his coconut bangs.

"what are you doing here?"

"i'm here to get you, you weren't at practice you know, coach will be furious."

semi laughs, he laughs a bitter and painful one and shirabu watches silently with pressed lips, he nibbles his inner cheek as his upperclassman wreathe in pain. he knew why but he stays silent.

semi moves to stand up again and this time, shirabu kneels to help him. wrapping an arm around his under shoulders and hoisting him up to his feet, semi is almost speechless for a long moment, he watch from the side of his eyes as shirabu's copper bangs fall over his eyes, curtaining the vulnerable expressions in his wallowing almond eyes, and it suddenly feels fidgety with shirabu's body pressed so closely to semi's.

"i can do this on my own." semi says, however shirabu ignores him, firmly hoisting him out the cubicle and helping him walk, down the school hallways littered with the orange dawn spilling from the windows.

"forget about practice, i'll take you to the clinic." shirabu pauses, "and then, i want you to take the surgery."

semi's heart froze, drop, thaw from his chest and spill down his ribcage into the pit of his stomach, a melancholic galaxy swirling a storm on his insides. he bites his bottom lip, and shirabu is aware of the pain in his eyes, but chooses to say nothing, making his statement hard and clear.

"just forget about her."

"so, you knew." a bitter laugh shaped from semi's bloody tongue and teeth and lips, he coughs once then twice and shirabu has to stop his pace as his fellow senpai goes through another coughing fit. a painful, wheezing gasp escapes his mouth and shirabu's heart almost stops as the petals kept pouring, down down down like an entire basket of flower bouquets decayed within semi's body and dare spill from his organs and down the white, marble floors of shiratorizawa's school corridors.

"i,im fine,"

"like hell you are," shirabu's low whisper came out harsh, his eyes from the apathetic stare became hard, tensed - his jaw clenched and brows furrowed heavily. silence poured in for a second as the copper-haired boy sighs a shaky breath, combing his bangs away from his forehead."I don't want to see you like this," he says, "it's painful."

"shirabu,"

"please?" the look in shirabu's eyes makes semi eita go silent. his eyes are a darker colour than usual, like layers upon layers of unreadable emotions flood his orbs in a disarray, and under the pumpkin hues of the sunset sky - shirabu's copper hair almost looks dark blond, his heart though pained and stabbed multiple times suddenly feels lighter, his heart felt at ease, his eyes softened on shirabu's. semi splits his lips open, showing the ivory teeth tucked beneath it.

"but what if i still love her?"

silence was the name of the ghost standing in between them, dark eyes like the dusk of evening on the windows mirror one another, though their gazes were levelled and steady and never wavering from each other, one look and you could see the fire burning in shirabu's distant copper brown eyes: semi could only describe shirabu's gaze to be filled with asteroids colliding with one another.

asteroids and planet mars were the only forms of poetry in his angry eyes.

shirabu presses his lips together, "then do whatever you want." semi's heart breaks at shirabu's icy tone.

"i'm sorry," he says.

"i,its nothing." the second-year runs his fingers through his mismatch bangs. "forget what i said," a pause. "you, you okay walking to the infirmary?"

"yeah,"

"then, i'll take my leave first. be sure to go back home immediately after this semi-san. now please excuse me." words couldn't fit in between shirabu's dialogues and before semi knows it, his underclassman had turned and his distant steps echoed loudly. when shirabu turns the corner, his legs were shaking like tree foliage. he could hear his own heart screaming in his chest and he heaves out a breath, leaning against the wall for support.

shirabu could feel flowers blooming on his tongue and he chokes again, "i told you." he whispers in the air. "i told you it's painful."

end.