Everyone was asleep. I don't know where Colby was. And I couldn't care less. What am I even saying?! He was my everything.

I silently carried the last bag downstairs, out the door and added it to all my luggage taking up almost all the space in the car. I slam the door shut out of frustration.

I don't want to move. My friends are here! I have no one else than them, all of them, here in LA. But I don't want to be an annoyance towards Colby.

I groan and rest my head on the car door. I felt my heart acing. I don't know what I'm planning on doing. Moving far, far away from here?

I go back in the house for a last time, taking my phone and walking towards the front door.

"Y/N?"

I turned around.

Devyn had tears in her eyes as she came sleepily walking towards me, pulling me in for one last tight hug. It made me weak. It made me let go of all the emotions I was feeling.

If I told everyone I was "fine" after what happened...

"I'm fine" is probably one of the most popular lies a girl tells.

"Do you really have to go?"

"I'm just going away for a few days" I was practically lying to myself.

"I'll miss you." She said before I gave her one last tight hug, got in my car and sped off without saying goodbye to anyone else.

Tears stung my eyes as I was drove in my car. I won't forget the memories. The good and bad. And all the pranks.

I spotted a nearby Tender greens. I haven't had breakfast so what the hell?

I stopped in the parking lot and got out, walking in and being guided to a single table with two chairs.

The restaurant was filled with couples. Laughing. Kissing. Enjoying their time together. If only. If only I had that.

"Miss? Hello miss?" I was cut out of my thoughts by the waitress.

I ordered myself a simple glass of water and barbeque chicken and a simple salad.

Soon it all came and I slowly started chewing on my food. Suddenly I froze when I heard a familiar laugh coming from the back of me.

No, it wasn't Colby's. It was Brennen. But if Brennen's here, Colby must be here as well. This is in fact their favorite place to eat at.

I "accidentally" dropped my napkin on the ground and bent over to get it, but only looked the direction from where the laugh came from.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. Brennen and Colby.

Colby looked happy, but as they took their seat Brennen went to the restroom I guess. I kept staring like a weirdo, my hand still on the half picked up napkin.

When Colby was left alone, a pang of sadness seemed to wash over him. He kept fiddling with his hands, just staring at it.

I shouldn't feel sorry for him. It was in fact all his fault.

He should've felt someone's eyes on him, when he looked my direction, thankfully not coming in full eye contact. Hopefully he didn't notice me.

I kept eating my food.

Soon I paid the bill and the only way I could get out was if I pass Colby and Brennen's table.

I speed walked with my head awkwardly moving from the floor to my left, avoiding any eye contact with anyone, really.

As I passed their table I overheard a part of their conversation.

"Devyn just texted me. Y/N left. Like she took all her things and left. I can't do this, bro."

"Like, this is making my depression more. I can't."

I rushed towards my car and got in.

I felt like crying. Sobbing. I couldn't take it anymore but I held in all my emotions, took a deep long breath and continued focusing on the important things.

As I started driving away from my friends and to somewhere that I don't even know, I thought of possible things I could do to get rid of this pain and emotions bottling up inside of me.

Thinking about the razor sharp shiny metal piece sliding across my skin, making its mark and letting the blood seep trough was somewhat satisfying.

I was never like this.

Suicidal.