he was someone i could text at any point during the day and not only would he respond, he would actually put effort into the conversation. bare minimum, but no one really did it.

and i felt like he would give really good hugs.

i had spoken to a lot of alex's friends at least once, but it was hard to remember their names. i enjoyed talking to them, though. they all seemed like decent people.

"hello!" alex sings in a cursed tone.

"ay bitch." i greet back, turning to him.

"snack run?"

"fuck yeah." i grab my shoes and race alex out the door. i pushed him out of the way and into a door frame by accident.

"dude fuck you!" alex laughs and runs after me.

i run into the shotgun seat, mostly because i didn't want to drive. it was somewhat cold out for mexico, and by that i mean it's about 60. alex climbed in the drivers seat, cursed, ran back inside, and then came back with his phone.

"vlog this shit." i laugh and check the time. it was almost 11 at night, but both of us were full of energy.

"call karl on my phone first." i unlock his phone using face id that i put on a few weeks ago. i called karl, or 'my favorite white boy' and set him up so he could look at both of us.

"hello!" karl shouts. he was in his office. "i'm streaming!" he giggles, showing the stream.

"damn i guess we can't talk about the meetup then." i joke as alex gets ready to pull out of the driveway.

"wait you knew about that?" he looks at me.

"what?" i can hear karl giggling before i mute.

"what are you talking about?" i turn my attention to alex, who was focused on the road.

"it was just an idea! but jimmy, or mr beast invited us to north carolina for a video. there weren't any details so i didn't tell you." alex visibly pulls away from me, his voice is higher, like he's defending himself.

i put his phone face down. "alex, look at me." i said as we stopped at a small intersection.

"i'm not mad at you. i didn't mean to sound as confrontational as i did, i'm really sorry." i say sincerely.

"it's fine, it's totally okay, i just got really scared that you were genuinely upset." he sighs.

"trust me, you can't upset me." i didn't think about what i was saying, because if i did, i wouldn't of said that. in all honesty, my second biggest fear right now was him hurting me. him being like everyone else, me being wrong about him.

but my biggest fear, was hurting him and not having alex in my life because of something i did.

a short while later, karl hung up and alex and i were done with our snack run. i had picked up a few packs of candy, while he got some arizona cans and a case of monster.

"hold on i have an idea." i say as alex pulls into the driveway. "don't get out of the car."

"okay?" he looks at me questioningly. i pull out the aux and shuffle through my liked songs on spotify.

"this is going to go from some awful meme song to sad shit." i advise.

"what are you doing?" alex asks.

"car concert." i say simply, smirking at him. it was something i used to do to burn off steam.

"what?"

"blast music in the car, it's like a free concert of any song you want." i explain. "it's fucking cool."

"sounds like it." alex shrugs.

"do you want your playlist?" i offer.

"nah, i like your music taste." i can feel my heart smile, if that makes sense.

money machine comes on instantly, making me burst out laughing because of the intro. the car actually shook by the bass from the chorus.

"oh my god, what the fuck?" alex laughs. i take out my phone and take a short video, putting it on my instagram story, making sure to save it to my camera roll as well.

"okay, okay next song." he takes my phone out of my hands and skips. daddy issues came on next and he looked at me.

"are you okay?" he laughs.

"what do you think?" i laugh with him.

"okay okay hold on." i grab my phone back and start playing wap.

"no, no, NO, NO!" he turns the music down all the way. i burst out laughing, my chest hurt.

we sang (shouted) an hours worth of music, until we were just vibing to sad shit. alex decided it would be a good time to put wilbur's music on, so both of us were basically spilling our guts.

"are you afraid of me?" i ask, remembering how he reacted earlier.

"no." alex responds almost immediately. "but i'm afraid of loosing you."

i wasn't sure how to respond. my head went blank, and i'm sure my face went red.

"i know i only met you, what, five months ago? but i can just tell you're going to be really important to me. you are, but even more, if that makes sense." he adds.

"yeah, it does." i say quietly. i tell myself not to look at him, because i might say something stupid if i did.

"you mean a lot to me, even though you're kinda a dumbass." i say a bit louder.

"you aren't very good at affection." he laughs.

"shut up, i'm trying." i roll my eyes, failing to hide my smile.

"it's cute." he mumbles.

i look at him with wide eyes. he had a similar expression, as if he couldn't believe he said that either.

under the dim lighting, his eyes were dark but warm. his hair was messy as usual, and the beanie didn't hide it too well. the shadows on his face made his jawline stand out more, and his freckles were similar to constellations.

i opened my mouth to say something but was cut off by my phone ringing. part of me was thankful, and part of me was annoyed.

"hey karl." i answer.

"so, about the meetup-"