the plan was simple enough, take a shot never have i ever. we weren't streaming it, because that would be so very stupid, but i was going to record it for my channel.

it was going to be me, alex, fundy, and wilbur. i didn't know fundy too well, but i knew him well enough. wilbur had gotten drunk on stream before, and i admired how he did that and somehow didn't say something to get himself canceled.

i sat next to alex, we were both sitting together because it was just easier. he joined the discord call, making sure everyone was all good and showing their face.

"ayo!" i greet.

"hello reyna!" wilbur waves. fundy wasn't on screen. you could see his chair, but he was afk. we chatted as i opened the new bottle of tequila. fundy soon joined, and we got ready to start.

"okay, does anyone want to go first because i don't have any ideas." fundy says.

"never have i ever been a woman." alex shouts, standing up. i pull him back down to his chair and hit the back of his head. he laughs, and i feel a small smirk grow on my face.

"i'm just going to google some." wilbur begins typing. "okay, never have i ever been a virgin."

"wait so take a shot if we haven't had the sex?" i ask.

"yeah." wilbur says and i pass alex the bottle. everyone laughs but alex, who tries to keep a straight face but fails.

"oh fuck you." he laughs. i take the bottle back and take a shot. everyone's silent for a moment, and i look at them weird.

"you're a-you're a virgin?" fundy asks in disbelief, making me laugh.

"i was homeless, buddy." i explain. they knew, but i'm guessing they forgot.

"wait but quackity didn't take a shot." wilbur laughs, and i gasp.

"oh shut up." i laugh.

"okay, okay, never have i ever had a good relationship." wilbur reads. "well i think we'd all have to take a shot for that one."

"aye!" alex and i cheer, taking a swig each.

"never have i ever been happy!" fundy shouts before taking a shot immediately.

"oh my god." alex laughs.

"aye!" i cheer again.

"never have i ever..."

by the end of the night, i was absolutely shit faced. alex and i were laying down on the floor, face up at the ceiling. the lights were off but neither of us really cared enough to get up.

"man i want a hug." i suddenly yell. "c'mere bitch."

i scoot over to where i thought alex was, which ended up being the wrong direction. he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer to him, as if he was cuddling a stuffed animal. i tried to act like i didn't like it, but i did.

"you smell nice." he mumbles. i can feel his chest vibrate as he speaks. i don't respond, instead i let out a giggle, something i haven't done since i was a child.

"youre very pretty." i say. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact that i didn't care anymore, maybe it was because i knew i could blame it on the alcohol, but i was a whole lot bolder.

"you're pretty-ist!" alex insists. i could barely make out his face in the dark, but i could faintly see a goofy smile on his face.

"do you want to go on a road trip?" i ask out of the blue. "we could go across america and see karl, we can blast music and sing while holding hands, stop whenever and where ever we want."

"and then we realize our undying love for each other." alex giggles. i laugh loudly, even though i feel my face get hot.

"you've never had your first kiss, right?" there's a slight slur to alex's words.

"no need to rub it in." i say with a grin.

"i wish i never had mine." he sighs.

"your ex?" i glance down at his hands, they're on my waist. he taps lightly on my skin, and i notice that he doesn't realize he's doing it.

"yeah. thank god that's over." he turns to look at me. "now i can focus on you."

"are you saying you want to kiss me?" i tease.

"maybe!" he sings.

"can i touch your hair?" i ask him.

"noooo," he groans. "the hat stays on!"

as quickly as an intoxicated person can, i grab the beanie off his head and run away, almost hitting my head on the way out of the room. i hear him run after me, and i laugh.

i turn around to try and fake him out, but he picks me up by the waist and hoists me over his head. we're both giggling, but we're not sure what we're laughing at.

after giving him the hat back, i lay face down on alex's bed. i hoped that he would lay next to me like earlier, but i wasn't sure if he would.

i smile when i feel weight on the other side of the bed. i turn around and wrap my arms around his torso, laying my head on his chest. part of me wondered if i would ever be in this situation again, so i tried to burn the moment into my mind.

i wondered how i would react if i was sober, how alex would react. i could only hope this wasn't some drunk mistake, but the reality is that it probably was.

i wanted to be with him. i wanted this to be a normal thing, and i didn't have to have tequila running through my veins to know that. i wanted to be able to be this vulnerable with someone and not get fucked over. i wanted to feel this safe.

as much as i cringed at myself, i couldn't deny that i felt safe because of someone for the first time.

as much as i hated it, i couldn't deny that i was definitely catching feelings for alex.