as much as i hate to admit it, alex was a really good person to have in my life and i enjoyed my time with him. i wanted to trust him, but i genuinely believed that he would eventually give me a reason not to.

as if right now, he was about to stream. that basically meant continuous screaming for a few hours. i didn't mind it as much as i thought it would, but i still found myself hoping that one day i could laugh that hard.

"hey!" alex runs into the room i was in. he looks slightly out of breath. "i need a favor."

i pause to think. on one hand, this could be literally anything in the world, and on the other, he was letting me live in his house for free.

"what is it?" i ask.

"please, we need an extra player for a game and you would be perfect." he begs.

"absolutely not." i say without thinking. no way i was about to do anything in front of thousands of people.

"i know you aren't a big people person, but please just try it. just one round! and if you're uncomfortable at any time after that you can leave. please, i actually think you'll have fun." he speaks in one go, as if he's afraid i'll yell at him.

i really owed him, maybe this is how i could make up for it. "fine."

"yes! let's go!" he shouts, running into his office.i walk after him, shaking my head. i can't ignore the small amount of amusement i have though.

in the next 15 minutes, we had a decent setup going. a few cans of energy drinks and soda were placed off screen but in reach, along with some snacks. now came the hard part.

"hey guys, this is my... room mate! she's gonna sub in for sapnap for today." i fumble with the earbud i had. alex had one while i had the other.

"hi, i'm reyna." i clear my throat before speaking. alex had told me a little bit about them, and they seemed like okay people. but most bad people seem okay.

"hi reyna! i love your name, i'm darryl, or badboyhalo, or bbh, whatever you prefer!" alex had told me that he didn't like cursing, and was overall very sweet. i almost could've made that assumption based off of his voice. i decided i liked darryl.

"you sorta met me, i'm karl." a decently familiar voice says. i try not to think of the whole situation that happened after i first spoke to him. apparently, he was very nice too, but you have to get to know him.

"'ello, i'm wilbur." i british accent introduces themselves. all i knew about wilbur was that he was british and a musician, so i didn't have an opinion of him yet.

"i'm just going to keep it 100 with you guys, i don't know how to socialize, so it's not that i don't like you, it's that i don't know how to talk to 70 thousand people at once." i speak with a mono toned voice, but internally i was fucking screaming.

"that's totally okay, do everything at your own pace. it gets less scary as you go on." badboyhalo speaks in a way where if he said anything i would believe him. i find myself nodding, even though he couldn't see me.

earlier today, alex asked me what i was comfortable with touch-wise. i was really taken aback at this because no one has ever cared about that before. i told him that i didn't really care, but at the same time i wanted to tell him that i was so touch starved if he shook my hand i might cry of happiness. throughout the introductions, alex had given me shoulder pats of encouragement.

"like what bad said. honestly, whenever we play jackbox it's like we're just friends hanging out anyway." i can almost hear the smile in karl's voice. i admired how they both jumped in to help me, even though they had no idea who i was.

"thanks, you guys are actually really nice." i feel a small smile form on my face. alex was beaming, he looked like he was watching his child walk for the first time.

"jesus alex, what did you say about us?" wilbur asks. everyone laughs, and i feel slightly more at ease. slightly.

"okay, i'm going to start." i try to swallow my nerves as i watch alex deafen. he turns to me, sensing my nervousness.

"i promise, nothing bad will happen." he grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes. i nod, too stuck in a trance to speak.

he starts the stream a few moments later, and by now my face was no longer red. alex explained that for the first few minutes, no one could see us.

"you're seriously playing wii channel music?" i almost laugh, trying my best to ignore my nerves. i could tell alex wasn't checking the view count on purpose.

"don't judge me." he clears his throat. "hey. hi. hello. hola." he speaks with excitement, like he was preforming. i wave, not really knowing what to do. chat was moving by quickly, and i couldn't really read it. there were a lot of 'who's that?'

"okay, so, this is reyna. she is my friend." he puts an emphasis on 'friend', which hurt more than i would like to admit.

"i am very afraid." the best advice i had gotten was from wilbur, which was to take my emotions and put them into humor. i used to be really good at that when i still went to school.

alex spends a few minutes explaining what was going to happen before undeafening.

"okay! lets get this going!" he shouts. i clap aggressively. i felt like a child again. i could scream and do whatever, as long as it was funny.

the first game we played was called quiplash, and it seemed pretty simple. you get a prompt, answer it.

"so how offensive can we get?" i ask, looking at my prompt.

"please don't get us cancelled." alex laughs. i show him my phone, to see if it was too far. alex starts cackling, begging me not to put that. i smile and change it. i answer the second one, and wait for everyone else.

ONE THING SOMEONE COULD WHISPER IN YOUR EAR TO WIN YOUR HEART FOREVER

ITS FREE REAL ESTATE

WANNA PLAY BEDWARS?

i laughed a little, picking "it's free real estate" because i hadn't heard that one in a while. we saw that alex had the one on the left while bad had the other. alex won with 77%, but didn't quiplash because wilbur didn't vote for some reason.

WHAT CATS WOULD DO IF THEY HAD HUMAN HANDS

TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD, I THINK

JACK OFF LOL

i laugh loudly at bad's reaction to mine. he assumed it was alex, so i laughed even harder when it revealed my name. it was 44-66, i beat wilbur. not even alex thought it was me, so he was basically on the floor.

in the end, chat actually really liked me, and i was able to laugh really really hard at something stupid. i found myself giggling at the immature humor, something i missed in my childhood. i had made three people tolerate me so much so they asked me to come back on alex's streams. chat asked me to make my own twitch account and i had a good time.

it was early morning when alex had finished streaming. i felt like i had come back from a party. my stomach hurt from laughing, my face hurt from smiling and the aftertaste of energy drinks lingered in my throat.

i helped clean up, seeing as both of us were pretty tired. i looked over at alex, debating in my head. i mean, i had tried so many new things in the past few hours, what's one more?

i wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. "thank you, so much."