《The 7D: Aim To Please》Miss Honeydew and The Jollywood Council
Advertisement
The next morning, Miss Honeydew and The Jollywood Council appeared at the castle.
They went to The Royal Bedroom.
"Hello and good morning, King Bashful." said Miss Honeydew. "I'm sorry to wake you so early, but--"
(She sounded like Sharon Marsh from "South Park")
She was licked in the face.
"Your highness!" said Miss Honeydew, feeling outraged and offended.
They discovered that Dopey was under the covers sleeping like a baby angel, instead of Bashful.
"The King is missing!" said Miss Honeydew. "Find him!"
"Yes, malady." said Head Of Jollywood Council.
(He sounded like Father from "Codename: Kids Next Door")
Meanwhile, at the kitchen, Bashful was in his normal clothes, instead of his royal attire, making breakfast.
Then The Council went in the kitchen and found Bashful.
"You! You, boy!" said Head Of Jollywood Council. "Have you seen the king?"
"Um, here I am?" said Bashful, completely confused.
"Oh, so sorry, Majesty. I didn't recognize you." he said. "What on Earth are you doing? A king NEVER prepares his own meals!"
"There are RULES about breakfast?" asked Bashful.
"Of course, there are rules about breakfast." said Head Of Jollywood Council. "Now come along, let's get you out of these clothes."
(Cut to Miss Honeydew with the 6D)
"Now, 6D, you need a new member to make you the 7D again." said Miss Honeydew. "Which is why I called upon my only daughter, Spastic, to take Bashful's place."
And then she left the room.
Spastic had spanish orange hair (one side of her hair in a ponytail, the other side in a braid), spring green eyes, and freckles on her cheeks.
She wore a poppy red shirt, a blush pink-and-aquamarine vest, and a lavender-and-purple striped skirt.
"Hello, 7D!" she said.
"Hi-Hello!" said The 6D.
Dopey was blushing and a little lovestruck.
"Um, hi." said Dopey, shyly.
"Hello, Spastic." said Happy. "Tell us about yourself."
"Oh, I love painting, magic, and especially... animals." she said.
(Me too!) Dopey thought. (I wuv painting, magic, and aminaws, too!)
"Um, how owd are you?" said Dopey.
"I'm 15." said Spastic.
(Me too!) Dopey thought again. (I'm 15, too. She's so pwetty! I hope she wikes me.)
Then Spastic giggled and said "You're very cute, Dopey."
Then Dopey fainted and passed out.
Advertisement
- In Serial38 Chapters
Adventures of an Old Dreamer
There once was a boy that lived in a village with no name in a remote corner of a province in a grand empire. Every villager had their place, and his was a shepherd's. Despite that, or perhaps because of it, the boy was an avid dreamer, yearning for adventure between each book he read. Decades go by in the blink of an eye and the young boy grows into an old man, yet remains a shepherd, watching his flock live and die in an endless cycle of life. Yet, the old man dreams on about adventure, never too old to indulge in his delusions. One fateful night, however, his endless prayer gets answered. Two immortals fall from the sky, and from their corpses, the old man acquires the means to strength in order to adventure. What does the world have in store for Lao Chen. --- A Xianxia with a little twist. Rated gore and traumatising, potentially triggering. Enjoy!
8 224 - In Serial64 Chapters
Wildling
Blurb: Silas--a scavenger living off the ruins of humanity--has spent his entire life fighting tooth and nail to provide for himself and his crew. But when a scavenging run goes awry and he's snatched up by an android patrol, he finds himself thrown into a cage and priced to sell as a pet. And when a suitor comes calling, he fears the worst: that he'll be turned into a Domestic, a human lapdog brainwashed into total obedience. Instead, he discovers an equally disturbing truth: that the creatures who stole his world have created a videogame the likes of which Earth has never seen; a sprawling, game-like theme park where humans are the Avatars and androids are the players who control them. And to make matters worse, his android guide is as hopeless as they come, having gotten all of her previous Avatars killed in record time. So if Silas wants to regain his freedom, he'll not only have to fight his way through a world that was specifically designed to murder him in brutal fashion--he'll also have to convince his android guide that he should be the one calling the shots. FAQS: Q: Who are you, handsome stranger? A: I'm Kyle Kirrin, the author of Shadeslinger, book 1 of The Ripple System, published by Portal Books, and I write crunchy LitRPG. Q: What is Wildling? And is it complete? A: Wildling is a crunchy LitRPG mash up of Fantasy and Science Fiction. And yup, Wildling is already complete at 64 chapters, or about 120,000 thousand words. You're looking at something like a third draft here--it's fairly polished, but it hasn't been picked over by a copy editor yet nor has my developmental editor seen it. Q: Upload schedule? A: 5 initial chapters today (2/15/2021) and one chapter a day for the next month. After that I'll probably slow down to 2 or 3 chapters a week until the story is complete. Q: How crunchy is it? A: It's pretty crunchy. I'd put it on the same tier as Ascend/The Land/RSSG, but it might be a bit crunchier than those three? Q: Is this the first book in a series or a web novel or what? And what are your plans for it? A: It's currently a standalone with series potential. Full disclosure: this story may head the way of my publisher eventually, but will be available on RR for quite a while no matter what. Likely several months after it's complete with plenty of warning before/if it's taken down. Q: What kind of build does the MC create? A: Sword and board! Q: Crafting? A: Plenty! Crafting isn't as center stage as it is in The Way of the Shaman, but it's close. Q: Base building? A: Two fully separate, distinct bases, both of which play a major role in the story. Q: VRMMO? Portal? Reincarnation or what? A: This one's a bit tricky. Basically an advanced race has created a game-like world that closely resembles a theme park. Think Westworld but with copious amounts of loot. And the MC has to fight his way through that to earn his freedom. Q: Permadeath? A: Nope! The MC gets 3 lives to play through the entirety of the game world, and death is extremely punishing, but not fatal. Q: Harem? Or romance? A: No and no. Q: Cursing? Blood? A: Quite a bit of cursing, yeah. There's blood, too, but it's not a gory book by any means. Q: How can I support? A: Instead of a Patreon/donations etc, I'd ask that you consider giving my debut LitRPG Shadeslinger a chance. It's free on Kindle Unlimited and the audio is already out narrated by Travis Baldree. It's an epic fantasy VRMMO where the main character gets 3 days of exclusive access to a new game plus a snarky, talking axe to guide him through it in exchange for agreeing to become the target of a serverwide manhunt once the Head Start period ends. Q: How's it similar to Wildling? And how's it different? A. The crunch level is very similar, but Shadeslinger is a much lighter, epic fantasy take on the genre. It's also VRMMO, but without any real world components aside from the first chapter. The MC is very different--he comes off as a bit of a jerk early on and can take a bit to warm up to, especially before his backstory is revealed--but he's also got a talking axe that constantly puts him in his place. Shadeslinger's a much more humorous story in general, and it's a great deal more polished as well. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy Wildling!
8 346 - In Serial150 Chapters
Hidden Beacons (Magical Transformation Progression Fantasy LitRPG)
Miwah is out for revenge. And it’s going to take a bit of teamwork and more than a few magical transformations to get it. After her village is ravaged by a band of pillagers, Miwah comes across an ancient ghost on the boat of the very clan that destroyed her home. Being one of the few in the world born with Potential, she is given a necklace that allows her to activate her Purifier form that grants her enhanced abilities, a powerful weapon and a magical ensemble. Now stranded in a busy port town on an island, she must team up with others with Potential to fend off the local gang, ravenous beasts and other threats that endanger the populace. Hidden Beacons is a progression fantasy LitRPG. Art is done by whoareuu. Expect daily updates (for now). [Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 406 - In Serial28 Chapters
Are you worthy to Join my party
X was born to a family on a multigenerational search for a book long forgotten by the passage of time. This story is the adventure that unfolds when he finds it. Let us experience it together, that is, if you are worthy of joining our party.
8 218 - In Serial40 Chapters
Player of Trials
Our main character, Leon, dies in an unfortunate event. But it was not an end for him. After his death, he founds himself in a weird place. A system pops up and gives him trials. But what are these trials and why he needs to complete them? Who created this place and what is his intention? With each trial, he gets stronger and stronger. But most importantly, what he will do after he gained unstoppable power? I will also be posting this novel on Webnovel. (The cover's background image doesn't belong to me. So, if anyone knows the artist, let me know and I will credit them.)
8 168 - In Serial38 Chapters
On Tilt [in progress]
Going on tilt is like falling in love: both make you foolish and should be avoided at all costs. *BROOKEI hate Dean Hollis.I tell myself that every day. And some days, I almost believe it. Some days, I sell myself on at least a solid dislike of who he is and what he stands for.Like his stupid charming smile. His stupid sculpted forearms. And his stupid addictive cologne that leaves me light in the head and weak in the knees. He's a vintage blend of infuriating and intoxicating, all in one deceptively handsome bottle.Let's not forget his notoriety for emotional hit-and-runs. Dean is a bad decision just waiting to happen. I would know.Been there, done that... Literally.*DEANI remember the first time I saw Brooke Maccabe. My first thought was, holy shit. That's the hottest girl I've ever seen. I was trying to think of a good pickup line when she walked up to our door and gave Brendan a hug.My next thought was, fuck my life. Because that dime? She was my best friend's baby sister. And she was sixteen.Verboten. Off-limits. The Demilitarized Zone. She may as well have had a blinking red neon sign over her head that read, 'Look but don't touch: Violation punishable by death'.Problem is, I really wanted to touch.And the even bigger problem is, nine years later, I did.*18+ for explicit adult content
8 195

