Dear boy who's wrapped around my finger,

Asking you to not to answer was a mistake, you didn't listen and I don't know why I expected you to because you never did. I don't know why I thought that changed, maybe because everything has and I just assumed that this had too. It hasn't that's apparent.

However, I can not pretend that just because one thing is still the same, everything is. If only you knew how much times I wished you were here, by my side, now I wish nothing more than to just be left alone. I just wanted peace.

You don't want to know how many times I cried and missed the way your arms wrapped around my body, like I was fragile, to comfort me or how many times I missed your stupid dad-jokes to clear the tension in a room.

It's ironic really, I wouldn't have needed comforting if you didn't leave me in the first place.

I was gutted after you left, after my self-proclaimed break-up because you didn't have the guts to do it yourself. It's the downside of dating your best friend, you lose both of them at once. I didn't care about losing my boyfriend. I just wanted my best friend back.

I wish I was, but I'm not ready to forgive you for what you've done to me all those years ago. Maybe that's the 12-year-old me speaking, but I'm just not.

I guess this was never about forgiving you nor was it about reconnecting or even falling back in love.

This was about closure and now you ruined that too, congratulations.

I told you I wasn't sure what I'd do if you wrote me back, but that was a lie. I knew exactly what my stupid, hopelessly romantic, mind would do and that's why I asked to be left alone.

Listening is not your forte.

I knew that if you'd write me back I wouldn't be able to forget you and it's so infuriating. I'm still caught up in our stupid love story.

I guess we both have the ability to wrap people around their finger.

Sincerely,

The girl who's still wrapped around your chubby fingers